The Truth She Knew (26 page)

I slipped into my old routine quicker than I thought I would. Between school, work, friends, and Walker’s family, I flew under Mama’s radar. I stayed with Susan and Garrett as often as I could get away with it. Joss and Emma had covered for me on three different occasions when Mama had called to check up on me.

It was simple enough to make an excuse for me to call her right back; then they would call me at Walker’s and I would call Mama. I suspected she knew that I wasn’t really at their houses. I didn’t have any idea why she was checking up on me when God could just tell her Himself. But for whatever reason, God had been quiet lately.

My excuses and plans were dwindling, however, and I was left with going home again. It was only for two days, though. We were scheduled to leave for Texas to visit Walker early Saturday morning. I couldn’t wait to kiss him again.

He’d only been able to call me one more time, and the conversation had only lasted five minutes before they made him hang up. Everything he did was dictated to him. I didn’t figure he was dealing with that very well, but I’d find out this weekend. First, I just needed to get through tonight.

No one was home when I got there. Mama rarely left the house, but sometimes they’d go for a drive. They were never gone for long, so I cooked dinner and turned on the TV. I shivered as a nagging feeling pulled at me. I ate my dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and waited for them to get home. It was almost 9
p.m.
when the car pulled into the carport.

I heard Mama and Patsy laughing as they walked up the stairs. They stopped when they came through the door and saw me there.

“
Sounds like you had a good day, Mama. That’s great,” I said in an awkward attempt to break the silence.

She nodded as she sat down in her chair and Patsy situated herself on the couch.

“
How are you feeling?” I asked.

“
Good,” she said as she grabbed the TV remote and began flipping channels.

“
Have you had any more doctor’s appointments?”

“
Yes, Lacey. What do you want?” she asked. She didn’t try to hide the annoyance in her voice.

“
I’m just trying to see how you’re doing.”

“
Well, if you ever bothered to come home then maybe you’d find out.”

“
Mama, I do come home. I return to an empty bedroom and sleeping on the floor. It’s easier to stay at Joss’s or Emma’s.”

“
It’s not my fault you don’t have any furniture.”

I bit my lip. I was too tired to take her bait and I had no intention of spending the rest of the evening defending myself.

“
Okay, I’m just here until Saturday morning anyway,” I said and turned to go downstairs.

“
Why only two days?” Mama asked.

Her voice carried a hint of disappointment. Surprised, I turned back around.

“
I’m driving down to Texas to see Walker with Susan and Garrett. We leave tomorrow and I’ll be gone all weekend. I just wanted to talk to you before we left.”

I didn’t wait for her reaction; I hurried down the stairs and got ready for bed.

*   *   *

The next morning greeted me with typical November cloudy skies as I drove to school. I hoped it wasn’t going to rain tomorrow while I was driving. This was my first trip to Texas and I didn’t want the rain to mess it up.

I went straight home after classes and managed to avoid Mama for most of the day by staying downstairs and finishing my homework, but the smell of something yummy beckoned me upstairs. I hadn’t eaten all day. I was so excited that I wasn’t sure I was even hungry. My stomach growled in disagreement.

Before I could make a decision, Mama called me.

“
Lacey, come eat dinner if you’re hungry!”

I didn’t need any more of an invitation.

“
Wow, Mama. Thank you!” I said as I joined her and Patsy at the kitchen table. Mama didn’t cook very often, but when she did, she went all out.

I loaded my plate with fried chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Mama filled my glass with tea.

“
Are you feeling okay today?” I asked between bites. “You haven’t cooked in awhile, so I’m hoping this is a good sign that you’re getting better.”

“
I’m not doing too bad. Patsy helped me with dinner.” She smiled at me.

“
It’s excellent.”

“
Are you excited about seeing Walker tomorrow?” Mama asked.

I wiped my mouth, unsure of where the conversation was going.

“
Yeah, I really miss him,” I said and laid my fork down on the table. I reached for my tea and took a drink.

“
I know it’s been hard with everything going on, Lacey. But maybe I can meet him when he’s finished with boot camp. I figure if he’s going to be a part of your life, I should get used to it.”

I frowned at Mama’s words. She’d been pissed at me ever since Krissy told her I was dating Walker. I couldn’t figure out why she was changing her mind.

“
Really?”

“
Yes, I mean it. Finish eating and then we’ll talk more after you get back.”

“
Okay, I’d like that,” I said as I picked up my fork and finished the last bite of my mashed potatoes. I washed everything down with another drink of tea and then it hit me.

My head spun and my stomach lurched. I was going to throw up.

“
Mama, I don’t feel good.”

“
What’s the matter?” she asked. She didn’t bother to get up from her chair.

“
I feel sick and everything is blurry,” I stammered.

“
Well, you didn’t really think I was going to let you go down to Texas to see your little boyfriend did you? Stupid girl. I’ve played along with you long enough. It’s time to end this. You will not go to Texas and visit Walker this weekend, or any other weekend for that matter. And another thing—you certainly won’t be spending any more time with Susan and Garrett. I’m only going to say this one more time. You’ve allowed your demons to take you over and now you think you’re running off to Texas. Not on my watch.”

“
Mama, what are you saying?”

I squinted and tried to focus on what she was saying, but my vision blurred and several Mamas sat across the table from me instead of one.

“
Patsy?”

“
I agree with your Mama. This nonsense has gone on long enough,” she said with a smug smile.

I fell out of my chair and onto the floor. Mama’s and Patsy’s voices continued in the background, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying anymore. Walker’s face flashed through my mind as I melted into oblivion.

The sunlight peered through the curtains and the clock numbers glowed a dark red as I struggled to focus on them. 11
a.m.
Wait, 11
a.m.
? I blinked and tried to mentally grasp something, anything, but my head remained fuzzy.

I didn’t understand. I’d eaten dinner with Mama and Patsy around 7
p.m.
What happened? Why was I in Mama’s bed?

I reached for the nightstand to balance myself as I sat up, and then it dawned on me. I’d missed the trip with Susan and Garrett, and I wasn’t going to see Walker.

Panic filled me as I reached for the phone and picked it up. There was no dial tone. The phone was dead. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My vision wasn’t blurry anymore, but my mouth tasted awful. I reached for the glass of water next to me and drained it.

*   *   *

I’d lost track of time. I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep, but as I lay in Mama’s bed and stared into the darkness, I tried to shake off the fog. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I remembered missing the trip to see Walker.

I grasped at spotty memories of Mama telling me I wasn’t going and that I wasn’t going to see Susan and Garrett again either. She’d done something to me. Something was really wrong.

I stumbled out of bed and crawled to Mama’s bathroom. I pulled myself up enough to get on the toilet, flipped the light switch on, and peed for what felt like hours.

After I was sure I didn’t have any more pee left in me, I grabbed onto the bathroom counter and pulled myself to the sink. I turned the cold water on, washed my hands, and splashed water on my face. I clung to the idea that it might help clear the fog from my brain.

I raised my head slowly and peered at the stranger in the mirror. My makeup was streaked and my oily hair was matted to the side of my head. My mouth was filled with grit, and I licked my lips in an attempt to eliminate my dry mouth.

I looked like shit. I felt like shit. I leaned my head against the mirror, willing this not to be real, but as the harsh reality sunk in I couldn’t stop the tears. I had no idea how long Mama had kept me drugged and in her bedroom, but it was long enough to end things with Walker.

I slid to the floor as the sobs shook my body. I cried for Walker, I cried for Susan and Garrett, and I cried for me. Everything I’d worked so hard for had just been ripped out of my hands.

I reached into the shower and turned it on. I didn’t have the strength to stand, so I slid over the side and sat on the bottom. The water washed over me and soaked through my clothes. Every bit of dignity I’d tried to hold on to swirled down the drain with my tears.

My tears turned into a fit of laughter as I realized all the lies I’d told myself. The times I’d patted myself on the back for standing my ground against Mama. What the hell had I been thinking? That I could get away with saying no to her and still walk back in this house unscathed? No one stood up to Mama and got away with it, and neither had I.

I turned off the water and stripped off my wet clothes. I grabbed a towel and stood on the carpet while the water ran down my body. My head was clearer after the shower, but I was still out of it. I sure as hell didn’t remember a stack of clean clothes on the bathroom counter.

I dried off and dressed in my fresh clothes. I’d gained more control of my legs, and I slowly walked to the bedroom door. I reached for the knob and turned it. It was locked. I jiggled the handle again, but it didn’t budge. It was locked from the other side.

What the hell?
Mama was keeping me locked in? I glanced around the room and eyed the sliding glass door, but then I realized I would never get past Rex and Ruger without them barking and alerting Mama. I didn’t have enough strength to run far, either.

My legs shook as I thought through my possible escapes, but every one of them ended with Mama catching up with me. Weak and exhausted, I crawled back into bed. I was trapped.

*   *   *

I woke to bright sunlight. I tossed the covers off me with a new energy. This time when I tried the door knob, it opened. I took a few tentative steps outside Mama’s bedroom and into the kitchen. I stopped when I realized Mama was in her chair.

“
Make yourself something to eat, Lacey.”

“
How long, Mama?” My voice was raspy and my throat sore.

“
Four days,” she replied. She’d understood exactly what my question meant.

I gasped. I’d been in a drug-induced stupor for four days?
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I needed to call Susan, but I couldn’t with Mama around.

“
Don’t even think about making a phone call or leaving this house. You can sleep in your room again, but I’ve taken your phone away.”

“
Why? Why did you do this? Has Walker called me?”

“
No, Walker hasn’t called and neither has anyone else. No one is looking for you so don’t get any silly ideas in your head. Go eat and then go downstairs. I have to wash your stench off my bedding. If I were you, I would use this next week to spend time with God and rid yourself of your nasty demons once and for all.”

“
A week? I can’t leave for another week? Mama, you can’t do that to me. I’m your daughter, not a prisoner, and I’m not demon-possessed! You’re fucking crazy!”

She jumped out of her chair, bolted toward me, and pushed me back into her bedroom. I slammed into her bed, unable to recover before the door closed and the lock clicked behind her.

*   *   *

It took me three more days to earn the door being opened again. I drank water from the bathroom sink and didn’t touch any food Mama brought in. I considered attacking her when she opened the door, but she was too strong for me to overpower. I was going to have to keep my damn mouth closed and play along until an opportunity presented itself.

This time, when I walked out of her bedroom and she told me to make myself something to eat, I didn’t argue. I searched the fridge for unopened items. She couldn’t have tampered with them if they weren’t open. The calendar on the refrigerator door read November 27. I clenched my jaw to avoid the tears. It had been seven days since I was supposed to visit Walker.

I turned away, sat at the table, and stuffed myself until my stomach hurt.

I did everything she told me for the next two days. I didn’t argue and I didn’t talk unless I was asked a question. I stayed downstairs except to get food. My strength returned as I began eating regularly again.

I’d just made it to the top of the stairs one afternoon when I heard Mama and Patsy talking. I searched around, but the living room and kitchen were empty. The voices trailed down the hall from their bedroom.

“
I get it, Lynn, but she’s gonna figure it out at some point.”

“
I do hear from God. There isn’t anything to figure out,” Mama snapped.

“
Yes, you do, but you also have Krissy and me spy on Lacey so you know what’s going on. I was the one who saw her and Walker at the mall. God didn’t tell you about it, I did, as well as numerous other times.”

“
What’s your point, Patsy?”

I’d heard enough. I ignored my grumbling stomach and eased back down the stairs.