The Three Sisters (48 page)

VPM: I won’t go into any formalities, ladies and gentlemen, for we all know why we are here this morning. Our three distinguished cross-examiners’ questions and the three’s replies have shown to all here that they show no remorse for their actions. They will never change their ways. If the crimes they have been convicted of and the attitudes revealed in answering their questions were not enough, surely the many Americans who came here of their own free will at this early hour of the morning to show their indignation should decide for you how to vote. It is my duty to ask you whether you will allow justice to be carried out, or if you wish to let them go free so they can wreak havoc upon our society once again. What is
your decision?

Spectator: Hell no, we won’t let
them go.

VPM: All those in favor of recommending that President Carter pardon the three sisters signify by
saying ‘aye.’

A few
Congressmen: Aye.

VPM:
Those opposed.

Congressmen wanting to ensure their
re-election: NAY!

VPM: The voice vote goes against the recommendation of a pardon for the three sisters. Today they die.

“Weren’t those Senators and Representatives angry? I’d sure hate to be in the three’s shoes
right now.”

“Well, they won’t be in them for
long now.”

“You know, Robert, I bet that was the fastest Congress ever got anything done
in history.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it, Susan. Since we are already running behind schedule, Congress was asked to waste no time in coming to their decision. After all, you know how tight these TV schedules are. I found out yesterday that some of the Senators and Representatives wanted an hour of TV time to themselves so they could go on record publically condemning the three’s activities, but the issue didn’t get out of the Congressional committee in time, so none of them got their chance. But it didn’t really matter. I doubt the networks would have
approved, anyway.”

“Congress doesn’t realize how valuable TV time is. Do you realize that a minute-long commercial today costs up
to $
500
,
000
?”

“That’s a lot
of money.”

“And do you realize how much money has been spent on the Festivities and related events and commercial operations? The final figures aren’t in
yet, but…”

“Those figures will have to wait now for as you can see on your TV screens, the three are being led out of Congress. Democracy has weighed them in the balance and found them wanting. The only thing that lies between them and their crucifixion is Pope John Paul II, who must release the three into civil custody before their sentencing can be carried out. Hopefully, he will be doing
that shortly.”

“In all fairness we should mention that there were seven Senators and twenty-two Representatives who elected not to attend this session for reasons
of conscience.”

“That’s right, Susan, but you know, I think that shows what a strong nation America is. Here we have Senators and Representatives who are going against the wishes of their constituencies, and yet our democracy still allows them this freedom of choice. By the way, you and some of the viewers may not have realized it, but thousands of people across the nation are having all night Festivities’ parties so they and their friends can celebrate this event along with us. Jack Kruger is standing by at one of those parties. He should be on our screen now. Jack, can you hear
me, Jack?”

“Yes, Robert, I can
hear you.”

“How are things
in Pittsburg?’

“Just great. As you can see, I’m surrounded by about twenty wild and crazy people at this bar, and they’re watching the Festivities on the giant screen
behind me.”

“CRUCIFY!”

“These people have been having a great time here. Some arrived about six last night to prepare for the Festivities and by now they’re all
feeling great.”

“Well, let’s talk with that beautiful lady behind you there, Jack. What’s
your name?”

“Jane Seymour.”

“And what do you think of
the Festivities?”

“I think
they’re great!”

“What part are you looking forward to
the most?’’

“The giant party we’re going to have when
they’re dead.”

“Well, I wish I could join you. Who’s that
beside you?”

“That’s my
boyfriend, Henry.”

“I WANT TO SEE
THEM BURN!”

“Sshh, darling, not
so loud.”

“So, you’re looking forward to them being burned at the
stake, eh?”

“YEAH, THOSE WOMEN DON’T DESERVE
TO LIVE!”

“That’s what Congress has
decided, Henry.”

“NEITHER DOES CONGRESS!
NEITHER DO…”

“Come
on, Henry.”

“Sorry we lost our sound there, folks. Whoops, look like Henry fell on the floor. Well, we’ll have to break for a moment for a word from our sponsors, but the Festivities will continue in just a minute. We’ll be right back.”

“Beautiful lips,” the
chorus sings.

Shots of luscious lips
slightly parted.

“Beautiful eyes,” the
chorus harmonizes.

Shots of eyes glamorously lined
with makeup.

“Beautiful skin,” the heavenly
chorus chimes.

Close up of a face with the background out of focus, the eyes slowly opening. A soft, sensuous, soothing female voice: “Now there is a cosmetic selection made for the woman who
wants everything.”

The woman blinks, trying to appear sophisticated, experienced, knowing,
yet innocent.

“The secrets of a thousand years are now yours with Mary
Magdalene cosmetics.”

The face, almost frozen, dramatically begins to turn to the side and upwards as if this scene would decide whether she wins an Academy award
or not.

“Mary Magdalene got her man. Now you can
get yours.”

Shot of several serious upper-middle-class handsome, suave, well-built men
looking on.

“Mary Magdalene Cosmetics. Wherever fine facial products are sold.”

“John and I are here outside the Capitol building now, taking over from Susan and Robert, and as you can see, the nine Supreme Court Justices are standing beside the three sisters. The Justices will accompany the three to the National Cathedral where Pope John Paul II awaits
their arrival.”

“I want to remind the viewers that the Supreme Court Justices will be reappearing in the Festivities later on today. Right before the three begin walking their last mile, the Justices will be back to apply the thirty-nine lashes each of them so
justly deserves.”

“When the three get to the National Cathedral in a little bit, they will be released by the Church to the civil authorities so the government can carry out the death sentence without any interference from the Church. Do you know why the Church releases heretics into the hands of the civil
authorities, John?”

“No,
Janet, why?”

“Well, heretics are ‘relaxed’ into civil custody because the Church is against the spilling of blood. You see, up until the moment a heretic is released from the Church’s protective custody, the Church could object to the sentence and excommunicate anyone who kills another human being. The process of relaxing the heretic assures the authorities that they will not face any
such threat.”

“As you can see, the three sisters are getting into the limousine which will take them over to the National Cathedral. So I’m afraid we’ll have to be leaving our viewers for now. Pat and Mary are in their booth over at the National Cathedral to cover the arrival of the three sisters and the proceedings inside the Church, but don’t worry, we’ll be here when the celebration on the mall takes place after the three sisters have officially been declared dead by the Surgeon General around seven or eight o’clock tonight. We’ll be joined then by David and Dinah who will be covering the Festivities Day parade from the Capitol in just a few hours. So be sure and stay tuned, and so long until we return again.”

Cartoon.

A saintly knight is seen riding his steed through the countryside. Suddenly, a peasant runs up to him screaming, “St. George,
St. George.”

The knight stops, turns, and says, “Yes, my
good man.”

Others approach. “St. George, you must help us. A dragon is approaching our town. His breath is poisonous to all who breathe it, and he is threatening to burn down the entire village! If you don’t slay the dragon, we shall all die.” The peasants nod their heads
in agreement.

“Fear not,” cries St. George. “I know just what is needed. Stay here ’till
I return.”