The Three Sisters (46 page)
VPM: Members of Congress, you have now heard the three’s answers. It is up to you to decide their fates.
“There you have it. The three sisters have been given a chance to redeem themselves before Congress and the nation, possibly to be pardoned. Now, Congress must weigh the three’s answers in the balance to find whether the three are found wanting or not. What did you think of their
answers, Susan?”
“Well, Robert, some of their answers were interesting, but to be perfectly honest, I was a bit disappointed. Remembering how lively they were at the Confessions, I guess I expected too much from them. They were almost serious
at times.”
“Actually, I thought they did a pretty good job for this hour of
the morning.”
“That’s true.”
“And those were rather tough questions, Susan. They certainly offered better answers than most Miss Americas would have given under
similar circumstances.”
“You’re right, Robert, but all in all, I just don’t think they gave any answers that would bring about
a pardon.”
“I’d have to agree with you there, Susan. Right now things look pretty bleak for the three sisters. You know, I really hate to say this, but I almost would’ve been disappointed if they had done well. After all, if they’re pardoned, the Festivities will be over with, and that’d be a real let down. It’d be kind of like a prize fight that ended in the
first round.”
“Well, for the sake of our viewers, I hope the Festivities goes the full fifteen rounds. You know, Robert, I have another reason why the three probably won’t
be pardoned.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, look at all the money our government, the broadcasting networks, the nation’s corporations, and others have spent on the Festivities. You don’t think even Congress would let the three off the hook after
all this?”
“You never know what Congress is going to do, but I hope they’ll do as the people would have them do. Incidentally, while we’re waiting, the galleries of Congress are being opened up to fellow citizens. The time between the presentation of the three in Congress and Congress’s vote on their pardon will be given to those who took the trouble to come to Washington, D.C. to express their feelings about
the three.”
“I’d like to remind the viewers that because some of our fellow citizens may have less than congenial feelings towards the three, we have put a fifteen-second delay on the comments just in case some of the people forget they’re on TV. So if the cameras switch back to us suddenly folks, you’ll know why. The fifteen-second delay is also in effect whenever the three sisters are on
the air.”
“The three sisters may deserve harsh words, but our younger
viewers don’t.”
“While we have this break, I’d like to remind our viewers that even though they could not come to Washington, D.C. to participate in the Festivities, they can still get an Official Festivities Souvenir Program from Virnovak Enterprises. This special, collector’s edition deluxe souvenir booklet is filled with over
100
pages of pictures, stories, and interesting facts about the three sisters and the Festivities. You’ll learn intimate details about each of the three sisters and be able to follow their lives from the day they were born to the day
they died.”
“I was looking the book over a few minutes ago, Susan, and you can tell they really put a lot of work
into it.”
“That’s right, and I’m sure everyone in the family will be able to find something of interest in this program. So if you would like to have a copy of the Official Festivities Souvenir Program, all you need to do is send
$
7
.
50
to:
SOUVENIR PROGRAM
P.O.
BOX
766677
NEW YORK,
NY
10001
”
“I hate to interrupt, Susan, but it looks like the galleries are full now, and the public derision is about to begin. We’ll switch down to the floor to bring you almost live coverage after this
commercial break.”
“Come on, Aaron, time to go
to bed.”
“Aaww, mom, it’s only ten, can’t I stay up late like all
my friends?”
“No, you need to go to bed so you can get up early and go
to school.”
“Oh, all right. I’m turning the
lights out.”
“Night.”
“Night.”
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“Abdominous
aberrant aboriginies.”
“Abominable
barbaric abortionists.”
“Acarpous
contentious accountants.”
“Acerbic
accipitral ascetics.”
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acratial Acacians.”
“Adipescent
adolescent adultresses.”
“Aggresive
agamistic Agonyclites.”
“Agrestic
agensic agnostics.”
“Alabandical
altercatious Alogians.”
“Amaurotic
amazon amputees.”
“Amphigonic
amelectic amatorculists.”
“Anaphroditious
anserine Anglicans.”
“Androgynous
anthropophagic anarchists.”
“Antisocial
antiquated antithalians.”
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Aryan armpits.”
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Arian artists.”
“Astorgious
asexual Azymites.”
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Atellan actresses.”
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backsliding Bagnolians.”
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Baptist bankers.”
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bacchancal basilisks.”
“Bdolatic
bdelloid bedswervers.”
“Blubbering
bloodsucking blatherskates.”
“Bourgeois
bootlicking bookkeepers.”
“Bovine
bolshie Boetians.”
“Bucranic
bumptious buggers.”
“Bufarious
Burgullian butchers.”
“Bulamic
bull-headed buffoons.”
“Cackling
castrated Catharists.”
“Calicratic
callipygian Calvinists.”
“Callous
calophantic calumniators.”
“Carousing
Corinthian Carpocratians.”
“Catatonic
catamenial Cataphrygians.”
“Catty
Catholic catamarans.”
“Cerebral
Cyprian cesspools.”
“Club-footed
clap-catching clapperdudgeon.”
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card-carrying Communists.”
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of cowards.”
“Contumacious
concupiscent concubines.”
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corporate executives.”
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Cro-Magnon cripples.”
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cenocranic celibates.”
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devil-worshipping debutantes.”
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disrespectful diarrhetics.”
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dispiteous dissidents.”
“Doddering
Dolcenist dogs.”
“Eccentric
ectrotic economists.”
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egotistical eggheads.”
“Erygmatic
erinnic Erastians.”
“Execrable
existential excrement.”
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eugensic eunuchs.”
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fascist focarii.”
“Feculent
fescennine feminists.”
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fimetic financiers.”
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foraminating freaks.”
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furacious Fundamentalists.”
“Genital-gesticulating gymnosophists.”
“Gluttonous
Guelph guttersnipe.”
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Gnostic gnomes.”
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gonnorheic gonads.”
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graneolent gremlins.”
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harageous harridans.”
“Heinous
hebetate Hegumens.”
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hedonistic heretics.”
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hypocrites. “
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hierocratic hymens.”
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impudent imposters.”
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impennate imps.”
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iconoclastic Icarians.”
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inebriated infidels.”
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insufferable insects.”
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inscient instrumentalists.”
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jaculatory jackals.”
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jaundiced Jesuits.”
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Kantian kaffirs.”
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lethargic legislators.”
“Leprous
lepadoid lesbians.”
“Listless
lisping libertines.”
“Lilliputian
limiculous limies.”
“Luodic
lubricious Lutherans.”
“Lustful
lupanarian Lutetians.”
“Malicious
melancholy militants.”
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myrmecoid Marcions.”
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mental morons.”
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meretricious Moravians.”
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micturating meretrices.”
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menstruating manticores.”
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merkin-massaging mandarins.”
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mollitious Meletians.”
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mucous membranes.”
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Nazi nares.”
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nihilistic nymphomaniacs.”
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nullifidian nuns.”
“Obnoxious
obsequious oblates.”
