The Guide to Getting It On (91 page)

I like being spanked and spanking my partner, having rough sex, biting, restraining or being restrained, being dominated, acting out a rape fantasy, fisting, peeing on a partner or being peed on, taking dumps together and having a finger in my rear - especially hers. I love non-vanilla sex.
male age 18

Nearly every time I have sex, there’s some sort of rough element, whether it’s spanking, scratching or biting. I definitely enjoy being restrained or restraining my partner. But if I don’t want my hands held down I’ll move or try to move them. I love the idea of being dominated or overpowered. On the other hand, I hate the idea of a being a “submissive bitch”, but there’s something about being controlled and dominated that is erotic. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a give and take. I’ll be restrained, but I’m going to want to give it back.
female age 21

Yeah, I enjoy being tied up and I tie her up. I love blindfolds and anal play. We’d like to find a way to wrestle and have sex at the same time, but keeping the penis in the vagina while wrestling doesn’t work very well. At least, we haven’t found a way to do it.
male age 24

With some girls it feels appropriate to be gentle. With other girls it gets rough. I guess I’m a sexual chameleon or something.
male age 25

CHAPTER

44

On Needles & Pins—Piercing, Tattoos & Sex

I
n the first edition of
The Guide,
piercing and tattoos didn’t even get a mention. In the fifth edition they rated three pages in the section on kink. Now they have a fairly substantial chapter of their own.

Tattoos, which used to be the hallmark of bikers and bandits, have become the body chic and new mainstream cool. Who knew that tattoos called “tramp stamps” would show up on more girls’ rear ends than anchors on sailors’ arms or cobwebs and tear drops in prison-yard tattoos?

A recent study in the Journal of the
American Academy of Dermatology
found that 24% of people ages 18 to 50 have tattoos and 14% have body piercings. For young adults between 18 and 25, the number of body piercings increases to between 35% and 50%, and this doesn’t include pierced ears.

However, according to a large study of students at Texas Tech, Baylor, Notre Dame and Purdue, less than 2% have piercings through their nipples or genitals. So while this chapter may focus on genital piercings, please don’t assume that masses of people have them or that getting one is necessarily a good idea. This chapter is in response to questions about nipple and genital piercings, but is not a recommendation to get nipple or genital piercings. We sense that if nature wanted you to have extra holes through your nipples or between your legs, she would have put them there.

Warning & Disclaimer:
While this chapter discusses some of the safety and health issues surrounding piercing and tattooing, it does not provide medical information and should not be viewed as a substitute for such. In two large studies, between 17% and 45% of people pierced had resulting medical problems ranging from local tissue trauma, bleeding and bacterial infection to endocarditis and hepatitis B. Before getting a piercing, please consult the website of the Association of Piercing Professionals, and be sure to read and follow all of their safety guidelines (
www.safepiercing.org
). Before getting a tattoo or piercing, understand that there’s not much difference between an unsterile tattoo or piercing needle and the needles that junkies use to shoot up with.

If you have diabetes, take antibiotics when you go to the dentist, or have any other health-related conditions, please consult with your healthcare provider before getting a piercing or a tattoo. Also, placing metal posts through highly innervated parts of your body such as your genitals has the potential to result in permanent nerve damage, serious infection and severe bleeding.

Keep in mind that a piercing site that is healing is an open wound and needs to be treated as such. It can easily become infected, and is a source of infection to others. Follow the instructions that the piercer or tattoo artist gives you regarding your healing site, including when you can resume having sex.

Penis Piercings and Other Male-Genital Adornments

There are no scientific studies about the effectiveness of penis piercings in increasing a man’s or his partner’s sexual pleasure. Those who do speak up seem to be happy with their piercings. The men often say that the piercing helps to increase their own sexual pleasure as well as that of their partners. Some men particularly like the increased feeling in their urethra when they have a piercing that goes through it, although there may be a price to pay in terms of how your pee and ejaculate comes out. Piercings might also make it even more fun when you masturbate.

Here are a few of the different penis piercings:

Prince Albert or PA:
This is probably the most common penis piercing. It is where a ring is threaded through the urethra and out through the frenulum or part of the shaft where the foreskin attaches to the glans (see the illustration that follows). It is said to heal sooner than most. Given that a man doesn’t usually arrive for a penis piercing with an erection, it is important that the ring has a large enough diameter that the urethra doesn’t rip when the penis gets hard. The gauge should be large enough to prevent tearing, and the ball should be big enough that it doesn’t drop down the urethra if it comes undone.

Reverse Prince Albert:
Same as the Prince Albert, but the ring goes through the top part of the penis glans instead of the frenulum side.

Apadravya or AP:
This is a vertical piercing through the head or glans of the penis. It can run through the urethra, or avoid it by sitting higher on the head of the penis. Strangely enough, APs that go through the urethra are said to heal sooner. It seems the urine helps to clean the wound, and with the urethra in the middle, there are two smaller tunnels to heal rather than one long one. If done correctly, the apadravya can be very comfortable because it has so much flesh around it. When there are problems, they usually occur because of how it impacts the corpus cavernosum of the penis.

Pallang:
This is a horizontal piercing where a barbell-shaped piece of jewelry runs through the head or glans of the penis. It can go through the center of the urethra, or above it.

Magic Cross:
While not nearly as popular in evangelical circles as the name might imply, the magic cross consists of a pallang and apadravya through the penis head which forms a cross. If done with one stacked on top of the other, the two bars can touch or meet inside the urethra.

Dydoe:
This is where small rings or barbells are placed around the edge of the head or glans of the penis. It can hurt like hell and is prone to more problems than other kinds of piercings. If the man is not circumcised, he will need a baggy foreskin for this to work.

Infibulation:
Where the foreskin is pierced in a way that jewelry connects the two sides of the foreskin to prevent intercourse or the glans from being exposed.

Frenum:
When the shaft of the penis is pierced along the raphe, sometimes in a series which is called a frenum ladder.

Scrotal:
Any piercing that passes through the skin of the scrotum. These piercings can be difficult to heal, given that ball bags perspire, and clothes, thighs and the penis can rub and irritate the piercing site.

Scrotal Ladder:
A series of piercings that are aligned to make a ladder up the scrotum.

Guiche:
A piercing of the perineum, or area between the balls and bum. Can run in the direction of thigh-to-thigh, or scrotum-to-bum. Perspiration and rubbing from underwear can make this kind of piercing a bear to heal.

Beading

This is where small beads are implanted under the skin on the shaft of the penis. If a sexual partner doesn’t like the feeling of studded dildos or studded condoms, it is unlikely she will jump for joy when you pull out a penis with beads under the skin. It never hurts to discuss with your partner any genital alterations that you might be considering well in advance.

Meatotomy, Genital Bisection, Penis Splitting and Subincision

These terms are body-mod speak for slicing a penis in two. Some of the most popular photos on the Body Modification Ezine (
www.BME.com
) are of this very modification. Perhaps it’s due to disbelief rather than admiration (“We are so not in Kansas anymore!”)—although you never know.

Penis Piercings and Your Partner’s Pleasure

Aadravya (beads at 12:00 & 6:00) vs. the Pallang (beads at 3:00 & 9:00):
With the AP, the beads at the ends of the little barbell are at the 12:00 and 6:00 position on the head of the penis. This means that the apadravya has the potential to stimulate a partner’s G-spot area, assuming she has a G-spot area and likes being stimulated there with small metal balls. As for the horizontal pallang, it’s hard to see how this would add to a partner’s pleasure, unless she likes extra stimulation on the walls of her vagina at 3:00 & 9:00.

Ampallang Impact on a Partner’s Vagina:
It can take quite the cocksman to get a penis with a steel bar through its head to slide inside a vagina in a way that is comfortable for a woman. Expect a learning curve for both of you. Also expect to use a lot of lube, possibly a condom, and you’ll want to make sure the bar is no longer than is absolutely necessary.

“Slowpoke” on the BME website has done a great job of reporting on the adjustments he’s had to make for intercourse to work with an ampallang:

1. He uses a condom with lots of lube. The barbell does not usually tear the condom, and the condom helps his accessorized package get inside his lover’s love tunnel. Experiment with whether a tight-fitting condom works better for you and your partner, or a condom with a baggy head.

2. Experiment with different kinds of jewelry to find a combination that feels best for you and your partner. A titanium barbell helps minimize the heft which can decrease cervical bruising for your partner. Also, try to decrease the length of the bar as much as possible. You don’t want your penis looking like a tightrope walker carrying a balance bar.

3. Experiment with different kinds of thrusting. Slowpoke found that his girlfriend liked it best when he used shallow strokes that maximized the way the ball on the top of the barbell rubbed near her G-spot area.

4. Your partner might be nervous, which can cause the opening of her vagina to tighten. Spend as much time as she needs before you try to slide your accessorized penis into her vagina. Slowpoke tries to go in while still a bit soft. He cautions against pulling all the way out while thrusting.

5. Cleanliness afterward is important, as his AP has made him more susceptible to getting yeast infections.