The Grace In Darkness (3 page)

“
How are you feeling?
”
Pierce asked.

“
I feel like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time.
”
I complained.

Despite how happy I was earlier, I couldn
’
t ignore the fast, deep ache that crawled up my legs and down my arms. I was definitely pushed to my limits today, and with my first recital coming up, I didn
’
t expect Violet to take it easy on me because of sore muscles.

When we reached the entrance, Pierce stepped in front of me to open the double doors. The sun had gone down and a slight chill had taken over the air. I shivered as it robbed the warmth of my skin. I pulled the thin, pink hoodie tighter around me and wished I
’
d brought something a little thicker when I left this morning.

“
Here,
”
Pierce said, and before I could protest, he wrapped his jacket around me.

“
Now you
’
ll be cold.
”

“
I
’
m good. I live for this kind of weather.
”

“
Thank you,
”
I said, not wanting to push the issue because I was already starting to warm up.

I didn
’
t even notice the wind through my leggings, as I couldn
’
t feel my legs anyway.

“
No worries,
”
he whispered, and I realized how close he was.

Of course the wind had impeccable timing and whipped my hair across my face. Before I could move it away, Pierce
’
s fingers were sliding along the curve of my face, freeing it from the messy strands.

“
Here,
”
he said, tugging on the collar of my jacket, and I realized he was pulling my hoodie free. He secured my hair in place behind my ears and then pulled the hood over my head.
“
Much better.
”

I was aware that his fingers still lingered against my neck, and I sucked in a much-needed breath and took a step back. If I was still unsure about Pierce
’
s feelings, it was all cleared up now.

“
I
’
m sorry. I...
”

I twisted my hands nervously together as I tried to figure out where to go from there.

“
I
’
m not very good at the whole dating thing,
”
I confessed, buying me some time.

He took a step toward me and I was trapped between him and the door.
“
It
’
s okay,
”
he said.
“
I
’
m not a pro either.
”

I laughed and then asked,
“
Have you ever been out with a blind girl before?
”

“
Does that matter? I like you, Araya. I don
’
t care if you
’
re blind, deaf, orange, eat sardines, or use Makayla as a safety divider. Bring her along if it means you
’
ll go out with me.
”

His words gave me butterflies, and I found myself smiling. But the feeling didn
’
t last long and my guilt chased away the butterflies.

“
I wish it was that easy, Pierce... but I
’
m confused about a lot things and I don
’
t think it would be fair to you until I
’
ve figured them all out.
”

“
Confused about things? That
’
s usually code for there is another guy involved.
”

“
Yes.
”

“
Lucky bastard.
”
He joked.
“
Well, if you figure it out and it works out in my favor, will you promise that I
’
m the first one to know?
”

I smiled and nodded.
“
Yes.
”

“
Say you promise or it doesn
’
t count, and I really need it to count, Araya.
”

“
Yes. I promise, Pierce.
”

“
Music to my ears. Can I walk you back to your apartment?
”

“
Well-
”

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
he interrupted and took my hand in his.
“
I didn
’
t mean for that to come out as a question.
”

I tried not to think about things as we walked toward my building because I couldn
’
t control the slow downward spiral I descended every time I thought of Ryland and if I was going to fall apart, I wanted to do that alone. It was too hard not knowing the unknown and I had too many questions. If I didn
’
t know, I couldn
’
t be wrong, right?

After my awkward moment with Pierce, which seemed to only affect me, he dropped me off in front of my studio apartment. There were four live-on campuses for MA and they were for the elite only. Except for me. I was their-
I guess so, if we have to
student.

“
Your stop,
”
he said and slowed in front of my building. I searched my bag for my keycard and pulled it out.

“
Thank you for walking me.
”

It was useless to continue to tell him he didn
’
t have to walk me across campus. It fell on deaf ears every time.

“
You
’
re welcome. If you
’
re still feeling sore later, make sure to soak in some hot water. It
’
ll help.
”

“
I will. Try not to be late again. I
’
d like to get out of there in one piece next time.
”

He laughed and it made me smile.
“
You can deny it all you want, but I know you love the torture. I can see it all over your face when you dance.
”

I blushed, wondering how much I missed during our rehearsals.
“
Dancing is in my blood,
”
I whispered.

“
Well, you
’
re damn good at it.
”

“
You
’
re not so bad yourself. Goodnight, Pierce.
”

“
Night, A.
”

He never asked to walk me to my door, and I liked that. He knew how important it was for me to do things on my own.

I thought of Ryland again and I felt awful. I had no right to place any judgment on him. Pierce dealt with others like me all the time. It was his job to know how to treat us, and Ryland had done the best he could. I knew that and I loved him for it.

I knew this hall like the back of my hand and I didn
’
t even need to count my steps anymore. I was almost to my door when I heard another open and laughter echoed off the hall walls. I recognized the sound and instantly wished time had been on my side.

I probably could have snuck past without them even knowing I was there, but I knew it was too late when I heard the laughter stop and something hit my foot. There was an intake of breath and a small noise of resignation.

“
Hey, Araya,
”
Emily said with no hint of doubt in her greeting.
“
Where have you been all afternoon?
”

“
I was with Violet and Pierce, rehearsing.
”
I stared off longingly toward my apartment door.

“
Ooohhh, you
’
re so lucky!
”
Elise, Emily
’
s twin sister, squealed.

They were both blind—a birth defect, but not a life sentence, they told everyone. Their blindness wasn
’
t a crutch they needed to lean on. They embraced it, seeing advantages no one else could, and I envied them for that.

“
Pierce is dreamy.
”
She sighed.

Elise had a huge crush on Pierce, and it obviously had nothing to do with his looks. Pierce had that effect on all the girls had MA, but as far as I knew, he
’
d never dated anyone here and that only made him more of a catch. I wasn
’
t about to tell her or anyone else the conversation I
’
d had with him earlier.

“
Well, the only thing I
’
m jealous about is that you
’
re going to be in the recital and I
’
m not.
”
Emily pouted, but I knew deep down she wasn
’
t really upset about it.

“
It should be you.
”
I agreed.

I don
’
t know how I
’
d gotten picked over Emily. According to Violet, Emily was an amazing dancer. Not that she didn
’
t think I was, but Emily had been here longer, and performing for this recital was a huge thing for MA. I was relieved that Emily didn
’
t hold their decision against me.

“
There
’
s always next year, Em. You
’
ll get it for sure!
”

I smiled at Elisa
’
s comforting words for her sister and added that to my list of envies. It made me miss my mom and wish she was here to see how far I
’
ve come and comfort me when I needed it.

“
Thanks, Elisa. Araya will kick ass though, won
’
t you?
”

“
I hope so.
”

“
Be confident. You got this.
”

I smiled.
“
Thanks, Emily.
”

“
So do you have any plans tonight? A group of us is going over to Pete
’
s. They
’
re doing karaoke and we have a bet going with the boys.
”