The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (83 page)

Finally, keep in mind that latex products like condoms, dams, and gloves should only be used with water-based lubricants. Oils and oil-based lubes will destroy rubber and render latex barriers utterly useless. Make sure you use water-based lubricants, and don’t be confused by lubes labeled “water-soluble”—these often contain oils. When in doubt, read the ingredients.

How to put on a condom

How to Put on a Condom Correctly

• Use condoms that have been stored in a cool, dry place. Check the expiration date printed on the package. If the condom looks brittle, sticky, or discolored, throw it out.

• Open the package gently. You don’t want to puncture the condom in your hurry to liberate it!

• Put a drop or two of water-based lube inside the tip of the condom. This aids in the unrolling and increases sensation for the wearer.

• Before you start unrolling the condom, squeeze the air out of the receptacle tip, since air bubbles can cause condoms to break. Condoms without a reservoir tip require about one-half inch free at the tip to catch the come.

• An uncircumcised man should pull his foreskin back to help prevent the condom from slipping.

• As you’re holding the tip of the condom over the penis or dildo, check to make sure the latex will be emerging from the inside of the ring as you roll down.

• Unroll the condom down to the base of the penis. Pull back the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis before covering the glans. Apply generous amounts of water-based lubricant to the outside of the condom as well as to your partner’s genitals before penetration. Condoms are easiest to apply when the penis is hard, but can be applied to a soft penis—just continue to roll the condom down the shaft as the penis hardens.

• Remember to hold onto the base of the condom when withdrawing so that the condom doesn’t slip off from the penis. Withdraw before losing your erection.

• Throw used condoms away. They are not reusable. Use a new condom for each act of penetration.

Condoms

You’re probably thinking, “Oh no, not another lecture on using condoms.” Actually, we’re more interested in singing the condom’s praises than in wagging our fingers at anyone. After all, condoms are the most widely available, inexpensive, well known, and oldest sex toy in existence, and these days they come in almost as many sizes, colors, and flavors as ice cream.

Who wouldn’t be proud to use a toy with such a colorful history? Apparently you could have found one over 15,000 years ago, as a French cave painting of a man wearing a sheath suggests. Egyptian men wore condoms as a sign of rank 3,000 years ago, while tribeswomen in South America fashioned themselves a female condom made out of a cut-off seed pod. Before lambskin and latex condoms, the Chinese made condoms out of oiled silk paper, the Egyptians used papyrus soaked in water, and the Europeans used fish bladders. Our favorite legend credits the Greek’s mythical King Minos with the invention of the condom. Apparently the king had a tendency to ejaculate scorpions and snakes into his partners, so his right-hand man, Daedalus, invented a female receptacle into which the King could shoot his deadly semen. From scorpions to venereal disease to HIV, the condom has a noble history of protecting our sexual health.

If you’re planning to sweet-talk your sweetie into using a condom, why not try another name? At one time or another, condoms have been known as diving suits, phallic thimbles, life-savers, dibbers, preservatives, gloves, letters, hats, and johnny bags. Remember to use your “frog-skins” during vaginal or anal intercourse, oral sex, and on any shared sex toys.

I’ve only used condoms. I have all kinds of condoms. When I was young it was embarrassing and only “boys” got them. I learned that I have to protect myself and that you should be embarrassed if you don’t have them. I always have condoms with me, in the car, in every room in the house.

Latex Condoms

There’s a reason drugstore shelves overflow with latex condoms in every size, thickness, and color—they’re a convenient, affordable, highly effective barrier against disease transmission, as well as a popular contraceptive. Most latex condoms break because they’re used incorrectly. The typical failure rate is about 12 percent, but researchers contend that if used correctly and consistently this would drop to about 2 percent. One British study revealed that out of three hundred men asked to demonstrate how to put on a condom, 20 percent failed because they tried to unroll it from the inside out. Another reason for high breakage rates involves the use of oil-based lubes, which are incompatible with latex.

So even though you might have the instructions memorized, if you’re blaming faulty condoms, you may just need more practice. Both men and women can enjoy this homework exercise: On your next visit to the drugstore pick out an assortment of condoms, go home, and play with them! If you don’t have a willing penis handy, try putting them on a vibrator, vegetable, toothpaste dispenser, bedpost, anything that grabs you. The idea is to practice putting them on and to test their durability, so don’t be afraid to get rough with your condoms. Take different sizes, colors, and flavors, either lubed or unlubed, on a test drive to find the condom that’s right for you—you might find that one particular brand feels better, tastes better, or is just easier to use.

I always carry several condoms in my car, my wallet, and my Day Runner Organizer (and to think people think I’m anal because I like being organized)!

I always put a condom on my dildo when I use it on someone else and almost always when I use it on myself. I like the texture.

I once used a cut-open condom to lick my girlfriend’s newly pierced nipple. That was great because it was so sensitive and erotic for her.

If you’re afraid the condom might slip off, pull it down so that it fits over your testicles. A little too much lubricant inside the condom could be causing the slippage. If you’re worried about a condom breaking, try wearing two thin condoms at once for extra protection, and don’t forget to use lube. If a condom breaks while you are having intercourse, don’t panic. Simply stop what you’re doing and apply some contraceptive foam—the spermicide in the foam may also kill any viruses present. Don’t douche or otherwise attempt to “wash out” your vagina or anus, as this will only push pre-come or semen further inside.

Polyurethane Condoms

Until polyurethane condoms hit the market at the end of the twentieth century, there hadn’t been a major breakthrough in condom technology since the debut of latex condoms in the nineteenth century. The Avanti male condom and the Reality female condom were the first condoms made out of polyurethane, a plastic material twice as strong as latex (now there is also a TrojanSupra male condom, but it contains nonxoynol-9). Check out all the features of this wonder material: It’s thinner than latex, which means greater sensitivity for users. It’s compatible with oil-based lubricants, so people who can’t distinguish between water-based, water-soluble, and oil-based lubes don’t have to worry about their condoms breaking down anymore. It’s odorless and doesn’t contain the proteins that cause some individuals to be allergic to latex. It transmits heat better and is more resistant to damage from heat and light. People seeking an alternative to latex condoms have by and large expressed great satisfaction with the polyurethane condoms.

I always wear condoms because I have genital warts. (Even treated they come back.) Not practicing safe sex is what gave them to me. I always use polyurethane condoms, though, because they’re the only kind with which I can feel anything.

Ready for the caveats? The FDA has not officially approved polyurethane condoms for contraceptive or STD prevention. Studies, however, indicate that the plastic provides an effective barrier to viruses, bacteria, and sperm, so it’s probably just a matter of time before the FDA puts its seal of approval on them.

A much muddier issue is the breakage rate for the male condoms. The largest study to date reported breakage rates at over six times that of latex condoms. How much this is due to faulty application rather than the material itself is debatable. Although polyurethane is technically stronger than latex, the plastic is much less elastic, which can result in a higher breakage rate. If you’re allergic to latex, but don’t want to fret about your condom breaking, try layering a latex condom over the polyurethane one.

Other complaints that have surfaced about the Avanti involve its larger than standard size. Since polyurethane won’t stretch as much as latex, the Avanti is made a bit wider than latex condoms—this can result in a slippage problem. As well, Avanti condoms are considerably more expensive than latex condoms.

Various styles of condoms (In Spiral, ribbed, Pleasure Plus, and Reality Female)

As for the female condom, the Reality may be harder to warm up to than its male counterpart. The Reality is a six-inch-long tube (as long as a condom, but wider), with one sealed end and a flexible, plastic ring at each end. The woman inserts one ring into her vagina, much like a diaphragm, while the ring around the opening remains anchored outside, resting flat against the labia.

There are several advantages to the female condom: It’s great for those with latex allergies; women can take responsibility for its use; the condom can be inserted ahead of time; a man may find the loose fit of the female condom gives him increased sensation; and the coverage provided by the outer portion may help prevent transmission of STDs such as genital herpes or warts. The female condom is also suitable for anal use: Just make sure the outer ring doesn’t slip inside the anus (it’s helpful to leave about one inch of the condom hanging outside the anus). The insertive partner should be careful to use shallow thrusts—since the Reality condom is not as long as the rectum, longer thrusts may stress the condom.

The reported disadvantages of the Reality condom concern how difficult it is to use correctly. Because it is somewhat cumbersome and bulky, its effectiveness is diminished unless it is used correctly. One study of women using the female condom, which included those women who used it inconsistently or incorrectly, reported a pregnancy rate of 26 percent. With correct use, the female condom should have a failure rate of only five percent.

Here are some helpful hints: Position the inner ring carefully or the condom may twist; use enough lube or the condom will stick to the penis; make sure not to insert the penis or dildo between the condom and the vaginal wall; hold the outer ring in place to keep it from slipping into the vagina; and remove it very carefully to prevent ejaculate from leaking out. In addition, the outer ring may irritate the external genitalia, while the internal “one size fits most” ring may not fit
you
. Finally, don’t use the Reality condom in combination with a latex condom—they will stick together.

I felt like we were having sex with a grocery bag, and the crinkly noise was a bit of a turn off.

We’re not trying to rain on your parade if you’re a polyurethane fan, we just want to tell you what we know about these products. If you’re allergic to latex, polyurethane is definitely your best bet.

Lambskin Condoms

Made from the appendix of sheep, lambskin condoms should never be used for safer-sex purposes, as viruses may permeate small imperfections in the membrane’s surface. Use latex condoms only, or wear a latex condom over a lambskin one if you’re allergic to latex.

Condom Shopping Checklist

Some things to consider before buying your condoms:

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Material:
Latex condoms are the most effective barriers against the transmission of disease, but some people are allergic to latex. If you have latex allergies, consider trying a polyurethane condom. Never use lambskin condoms for safer sex.