The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (53 page)

Ceremony music should be provided by a single musician, a CD, or an MP3 player. Don't get too complex unless you have professional sound facilities.

Extraordinary circumstances (inviting fifty people into your home would qualify) require extraordinary preparation. You'll have to plan your crowd control carefully or risk confusion or even chaos. It's important to anticipate possible problems. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Check with the police department for local ordinances regarding traffic and parking. Are there regulations about parking on the street? Is there enough room? If there's a large crowd coming, check into valet parking. If traffic congestion is an issue, you may want to have a certified person directing traffic and parking. You certainly don't want your guests to be taking home traffic tickets as mementos of your wedding day. The police department can also give advice on security. It might be a good move to get a rent-a-cop to watch cars during the shindig.

Speak with or send a note to your neighbors, explaining to them that a party will be taking place (especially if you're thinking of hiring Metallica as the band).

Consider the size of the kitchen and bathrooms. Are the facilities appropriate for the number of people expected?

Critically analyze your refrigerator. Is it going to be able to handle the stress?

What about power? If you're having band amplifiers, microphones, strings of lights,
and so forth, your normal house current may not be able to handle the extra load. For about $50 a day, you can rent a generator that will eliminate these worries.

The good news is that professionals can help fill in areas where you are deficient as a human being; they can also do the things that you hate to do when throwing a party. Even if you've never hired any party help, this is the one occasion where you really should give the idea serious consideration. Can't cook worth a darn? The food can be brought in. Don't want to lift a finger? Call an employment agency and hire servers and bartenders for the day. Or maybe you and your friends want to do everything yourselves. You can still hire a cleaning service to make sure that the house is in pristine shape before the guests arrive—or after they leave.

If you hire a catering service, they'll work with you to determine the setup of your space and tell you what you need to rent or borrow in order to pull it off. A truly professional caterer, and one well worth the money, will actually function as a wedding planner for you, coordinating with the florist, the bakery, even the entertainment. (See chapter eleven, “Eat, Drink, and Be Married,” for everything you need to know about a caterer.)

If you're doing most or all of this without professional help, ask yourself the same questions you would ask of an outside caterer. You must be concerned not just with the cooking, but also with the storing and the presentation of the food. Some guidelines:

Enlist the help of family and friends to assist with cooking and baking a few weeks before the wedding; use recipes that can be frozen immediately and defrosted before the wedding.

If you're a great cook and want to do most of the food yourself, you might still hire a caterer to handle finishing touches and to prepare any on-the-spot dishes.

Check out your equipment and your serving pieces. Count your own dishes, flatware, and glassware. Pull out all of the platters and utensils, and make thorough lists of what you have. Include those old pitchers and bowls you never thought you'd use.