The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) (35 page)

* *
* * *

“There's a
problem,” Andre told them. “The organisers have been told that if
you are going to headline the act …”

“... We can't be
naked,” Paige finished for him. “Well they can do one.”

“Paige, listen. I
know it's not as comfortable for you, but they have told me that
you will be arrested.”

Paige shook her
head. “Sorry. This could be our last gig, it's got to be
perfect.”

“Last gig?” Andre
asked and looked at Claire.

“I'll tell you
later,” Claire promised. “I hope not. Jack has family
problems.”

“But you can do
one thing for me,” Paige said and pushed into Andre's hand a
home-burnt DVD. “That big screen up there. We can use that while we
do our act, can't we?”

“Err … I think
so.”

“Andre, this is
extremely urgent. I read the contract, and there was a piece in it
there. Now I can promise ya, this ain't got any nudity or swearing
on it, but at the end of the show I will ask you to play it, and I
want you to play it. With sound. It's a sort of thank you. Can you
do that?”

“Paige, what is
it?” Claire asked in a concerned voice and Paige smiled.

“Please, Andre.
Just do it. It's really important to me.”

Andre looked at
her and hesitated. “Hey, Andre, you've made a pretty packet out of
us, it ain't much,” Claire told him, and he reluctantly agreed.

“If I get arrested
…” Andre moaned, and Paige looked at him.

“You aren't going
to get arrested. And it's up to Jack here. After the gig, he has to
decide to come with us and do a tour, make a second album, and who
knows what else. Or go and work with his dad.” Andre blinked and
looked at the man.

“I told you,” Jack
sighed. “I love being here.”

“No offence,”
Paige spat. “But I saw your face. I'll believe you when you are
with me at gone midday tomorrow.”

Jack shrugged and
ran his hands through his fair hair. A runner knocked on the door,
and Paige grabbed a T-shirt that Andre held out for her. “I'd
strongly advise,” he started, and Paige snorted.

“I know,” Paige
interrupted, and Claire picked up a T-shirt from Andre.

“And thank you,”
Claire whispered to him. “I do appreciate your efforts.”

“Well I'm glad
someone does,” he moaned and watched as his beautiful girlfriend
put a T-shirt over her shoulders to cover her body to her
thigh.

“Hey, Good Luck,”
Andre told Jack as he passed him the biggest T-shirt.

Jack sighed.
“Cheers.”

“Last gig?”

Jack shrugged.
“Paige seems so keen for me to prove her right. I keep wanting to
tell her how I feel, but I'm starting to believe she doesn't want
to hear it.” Andre's smile disappeared.

“I'm sure she
does. She's just … Paige.”

Jack smiled. “I
better go,” Jack muttered. “I'll see you at the Police
Station.”

Paige strutted on
stage to raucous applause and waved across the park. There were
several large screens dotted around the grounds and thousands of
people in front of her screaming in ecstasy as the diminutive
singer took the microphone. “Hi,” she yelled and her voice echoed
off several objects as it came out of dozens of speakers. She
smiled. “This is the biggest audience I've ever played to,” she
told them, and there was a small cheer from the crowd. “And this
could be our last gig.” She gulped and looked behind her at Jack.
“Someone has to make a decision. But I have never sung in public
with crap on.” She tugged at the plain white T-shirt and scanned
the crowd. “So who here, wants me to take it off?”

There was a loud
thunderous cheer from underneath her, and Paige smiled. She put the
microphone back on its stand, pulled her T-shirt from underneath
her and threw it into the audience. “I am so getting arrested
later,” she promised the crowd, and turned to face her band mates.
They shrugged at her, and Claire put her guitar between her legs
and took her T-shirt off, with Jack following the lead of his two
band mates. “Hot N Cold?” Paige asked, and they launched into their
rendition of Katy Perry's classic.

It was a warm
night, and Paige managed to get several of her fans to strip to the
waist, and a few to strip completely naked. She persuaded a young
lady to join her on stage as they massacred Bad Reputation, but the
Bare Necessities were permitted ninety minutes on stage, and that
gave them ample time to complete their album, plus interact with
the audience.

Paige had noticed
four Police officers gathering at the side of the stage and she
took the microphone, pointing to them. “I said I was going to get
arrested, and I think I am,” she said. “This is the end of our bit.
There are some great acts to come. But before we go …” Paige
skipped to the end of the stage away from the Police officers
gathering in the wings. “... And before I get arrested,” she said
to boos from the audience. “Andre, press play please. This is what
happened when we secretly recorded our visit to Christian Outrage.”
The Police officers strode onto the stage as a chorus of boos rang
out, and Paige went behind Claire and Jack, still with the
microphone. “This is taken from my special broach,” she shouted.
“It's got a video camera on it. And it shows what nasty people
Christian Outrage are.”

Paige was bundled
to the floor as the inside of Jack's car came into view on the big
screen and thousands of people turned to watch as the two teenagers
walked towards Sue Garratt's house.

Paige kicked back
at the Police officers and wiggled free, dancing to the front of
the stage and away from their grasp. She swung her hips to the side
as they came to get her, and Paige skipped free from their reach
and ran towards the side of the stage, pushing another officer to
the floor with her hand. She just made it to the edge of the
platform when a fourth Police officer bundled her to the ground and
took some handcuffs from his pocket.

“You're nicked,”
he hissed into her ear, just as Sue's voice came over the
speakers.

* *
* * *

“And sign there,
please,” Paige was asked and passed a pen by the Police Officer.
Paige scribbled the document in front of her and she looked up at
the solicitor watching her with Andre hovering behind. “Where's
Claire and Jack?”

Andre sighed.
“Claire is umm … well she's waiting for you in a side room.”

“And Jack?”

“Ummm …”

“Bastard's left
hasn't he?”

Andre shrugged.
“Sorry Paige. His father came when Claire was released a couple of
hours ago.”

Paige turned to
the custody sergeant. “Why the hell was I kept for two more
hours?”

“Because only one
of you was arrested for assault of a Police Officer and resisting
arrest,” she was told assertively. “Your two colleagues were more
cooperative.”

“Well colleagues
is a bit strong now, isn't it?” Paige snorted and wiped her eyes.
“Oh, and while I am here, I would like to make a complaint.”

The sergeant
sighed. “What is it now?”

“I would like to
report blackmailing. That's against the law isn't it? Trying to get
money to stop doing something.”

“Paige?” Andre
called, and the teenager held out her hand to her agent.

“DVD please?”

“What?”

“The DVD you
played, can I have it?” Andre fished around in the side pockets of
his jacket and passed it to her. “Evidence. I guess you may have
seen it at the festival.”

“I think he
probably saw it on the news,” Andre informed the indignant young
lady. “Someone uploaded it onto the Internet.”

“Oh yeah, that was
me. But I want to make a Police complaint.”

“I can certainly
get someone to take a statement,” he offered, but Andre stepped
in.

“Another time.
Paige, we have a press conference.” Paige went to speak, and Andre
looked at her. “I have already made a complaint and they will need
to get a statement from you, but now is really not the time.”

Paige grunted and
tutted. “I'll be back,” she warned the sergeant and snatched at her
belongings that were taken from their dressing room when she was
arrested. Claire leapt up from her chair and wrapped her arms
around her friend when she entered the small “relatives room” and
looked at the long T-shirt and shorts Paige was wearing.

“They don't go,”
she teased.

“Well blame your
bloody boyfriend,” Paige muttered. “I was arrested with nothing on,
remember?”

Claire cocked her
head at Andre who held his hands up. “Sorry. I just thought
something was better than nothing.” She snorted.

“Well Claire's are
fine.”

Andre shook his
head. “Hey, and who said he was my boyfriend?” Claire asked her as
it dawned on the curvaceous girl what Paige had said. “I …”

Paige just giggled
and shrugged. “It's OK. I think you two are good together.”

“Hazel was asking
after you,” Andre told the red-haired girl. “I sent her tickets to
Hyde Park. And George for Claire and Harriet for Jack. I know Hazel
came, 'cause I saw her.”

“And you didn't
tell me?” Paige thundered.

“Hey, look, I was
busy getting your revenge on the screen, getting you legal
representation, getting clothes down here, organising a press
conference. I've not slept for 24 hours because of you,” Andre
replied, a little angrily.

“Well come on
then, let's do this press conference. It'll be a horrible one to
do. Where is it? On the steps of Police Station?”

“The Wandsworth
Hotel,” Andre told her. “And Greg is down there, and he said they
cannot fit the amount of press in to the room. I have written a
statement for you after Jack left and …”

“I don't need it,”
Paige said, dismissively. “I know what I want to say.”

“Well I think
something balanced. So you don't get lost for words and …”

“I never get lost
for words.” She pushed past him and shrugged. “Well come on.”

Claire looked
apologetically at Andre. “This could end very badly,” Claire
whispered.

* *
* * *

The pained face of
Jenny Ashridge took the stage a few cameras flashed. “This is just
a short statement, from the trustees of Christian Outrage,” she
said and had to clench her fists to stop her hands from shaking.
She blinked a few times and focused on the text.

“We are deeply
troubled by the allegations of criminal conduct and subsequent
arrest of our founder and leader Sue Garratt. It would be
inappropriate for the trustees to comment further while there is an
ongoing Police investigation.”

The PR lady
coughed and rubbed her nose. “It is our belief that Sue Garratt
acted below the standards we expect of all our members, and it is
with great sadness that we, the trustees, are to disband Christian
Outrage.”

There was a few
further clicks of the cameras and Jenny took a sip from the glass
of water on the table. “There is a great need for Christian morals
to be presented to our mainstream media, who too often focus on the
tacky, immoral and unhealthy elements to deprave and tarnish our
society and the trustees will work to ensure any remaining funds
are diverted to a good cause. Thank you.”

Jenny got up from
the chair and looked at the handful of journalists. “Printed copies
of the statement will be available.”

“What do you make
of the news that Bare Necessities are splitting up?” A lone voice
spoke.

Jenny turned to
look at the gum chewing journalist with dirty fingernails and a
stained jacket. She clenched her fists. “I … I … I … I think that
they are dirty, scheming rat bags and will be forced into the fires
of hell for all eternity,” Jenny spat. “To be so underhand and
nasty to such a nice woman. It's evil. No good will come of that
girl,” Jenny ranted, and the journalist smiled.

“Thank you,” he
said sweetly and stopped the dictaphone; he had his story for the
paper.

* * * * *

Jack sat on the
end of the bed watching the rolling news channel. “Hey, the rest of
your life starts now,” he was told. “I can't say I'm not
disappointed in you,” his father said and packed the last of his
belongings into the bag. “I can't say I'm not angry. I mean, that
Paige, she's a dirty little tramp, we can all see that. I can see
why your head got turned. But hey, that's just growing up.”

“She was
wonderful,” Jack muttered. “Absolutely wonderful.”

“She was a …” His
father stopped as Jack watched Paige, and Claire emerge from the
Police station and Andre step in front of the two to tell the press
pack that a press conference would be taking place in the next
twenty minutes and Jack felt a tear come to his eye. “Stop this!”
His father ordered and switched the television off as “BREAKING
NEWS: BARE NECESSITIES SPLIT” appeared on the bottom of the screen.
“It's over.”

“But … why?”

“Why? Because they
are going nowhere, you were making fools of yourselves, and there
is a perfectly good job for you at my factory.”

“Yeah,” Jack said
and sniffed, getting up from the bed. “Your factory, not mine. This
was my band. Sorry, is my band. She was perfect.” Jack mumbled and
pursed his lips together. “Lucinda said it, and I never listened.
Life's too short to let someone else run it for you.”

“Someone needs to
run it for you when you make such silly decisions,” Paul barked
aggressively. “I've always done what's best for you.”

“No. You've done
what's best for you.”

“I gave you every
present you ever wanted. Recording studio. Guitar. Car. Computer.
Driving Lessons.”

“You gave me those
presents in lieu of a father,” Jack shouted. “You did that so you
wouldn't feel guilty about not spending time with your son.”

“That's not true,”
Paul shouted back. Jack took a few steps towards the door, and Paul
grabbed hold of his son's muscular arms. “Where are you going?”