Student of Kyme (8 page)

As he
drew away from me, I saw Iscane staring at us, his wide-eyed
expression that of a riled cat. If he’d had fur, it would be
fluffed out. I took a step back. ‘I’m fine… honestly. Let’s
go.’

The
dining hall was immense. There were two long tables running down
either side of the room, and a high table at top, where of course
Malakess held a place of honour. The Nagini had so far deigned not
to show themselves, but now made an appearance. Malakess said this
was because they wanted to make it clear that they were not in Kyme
for the party or to meet Gelaming. They were guests of the Sulh, it
was dinner time, so they came to join us for the meal. I have never
seen such exotic hara before. Their clothes were very colourful and
their dark skins were like creamy coffee. Some wore turbans, while
others affected complicated hairstyles. A few wore their hair long
and straight, although the partings on their heads were coloured
red or gold. Their jewellery was ostentatious, but I thought it
looked wonderful. Some had delicate filigree chains attached to
nose rings and earrings, and the skin of their hands and arms were
painted with complicated patterns, which Malakess told me was
henna. They moved softly and graciously like cats, and their eyes
were beautifully shaped, what you call almond-shaped, outlined in
kohl. They wore jewels stuck upon the centre of their brows and
their voices were gentle and melodious, although only a few of them
could speak our language. They seemed like dehara, creatures of
myth.

I took my
place beside Malakess at the top table with the leaders of the
Nagini and Sulh of high rank. The Kymian phyle leader was present,
the illustrious Poltenemy, who I had never seen before. He greeted
me in a distant manner, and then devoted himself entirely to the
Nagini. One of them sat on Malakess’s other side, so I was able to
listen in to their conversation. It appeared that only a few of the
delegation had graced the dinner. No second generation Nagini was
present. I was eaten up with curiosity. I wanted to meet one of
those younger hara. I had presumed the Nagini would be ascetic and
distant, but this was not the case. They were perfectly affable
with the Sulh and other tribes, maintaining their disdain for the
Gelaming alone. Haruah, who sat next to Malakess, drank wine like
any other har and then, before the dessert was brought in, showed
us some conjuring tricks. He had a diamond set into one of his
teeth, which glittered when he smiled. His jet black hair hung
loose over his shoulders and was braided with golden beads. He was
also first generation, and knew our language perfectly. I’d drunk
more wine than I should have done by then, and said, ‘Will you
teach me your magic?’

Haruah
grinned. ‘Not magic, tiahaar, just illusion. Nohar learns the magic
of the Nagini.’

Malakess
laughed. ‘You are using on it us even now, my friend, aren’t
you?’

Haruah
gave Malakess a smouldering glance. ‘If you perceive so, then no.
If I were, you would not be able to tell.’

‘
Your magic is very strong,’ Malakess said.

I
realised at that point that my presence might well become
superfluous very soon. This depressed me. My mind was in such a
spin, I wasn’t sure why exactly. When Malakess had met my eyes
across a room, it had touched me. Did I desire him? Was that it?
Why couldn’t I work out what I was feeling? One thing was obvious.
I could not compete with this specimen of harish perfection now
bewitching Malakess with his subtle magic. I felt about two years
old.

Some time
later, Malakess left the table to visit the bathroom. Haruah
reached out and took hold of one of my hands. ‘It is only play,’ he
said softly.

‘
What is, tiahaar?’

He
laughed and squeezed my fingers. ‘Do not drink any more.’ He
winked. ‘Trust me.’

I felt my
face grow hot, but put down the wine glass. ‘I don’t think… I don’t
think I can do...’ I shook my head.

‘
Then don’t think,’ said Haruah. He paused. ‘You will meet my
son.’

‘
Thank you, I’d like that.’

Another
grin. ‘Oh, nothing to do with me, tiahaar. Nothing at all.’ It had
not been an invitation but a foretelling. How strange.

It must
have been well after two in the morning by the time Malakess
decided we should leave. Actually getting out of the building took
some time. Malakess was waylaid every few steps and had to arrange
to have lunch, afternoon tea and then dinner with various Gelaming
and Nagini. Sabarah, it was decided, would come to Huriel’s house
to make sketches of me. My feet were aching, even though we’d been
sitting down for most of the night, and my head was still half in
some other dimension. The cool dark interior of Malakess’s carriage
was a relief. I sighed and leaned back against the
cushions.

‘
You did very well,’ Malakess said as we began the journey
home. ‘I know it was exhausting, but you were a credit to Kyme and
to me.’

I grunted
in response. The thought of my bed was the most delicious thing
imaginable, or was it? Part of me was tired and aching, but another
part was alert and panting for action. That part wanted to leap out
of the carriage and run all the way home or perhaps away across the
hills beyond Kyme. I could become a deer and just run for
ever.

‘
Gesaril?’

I opened
my eyes and glanced at Malakess. What did he think of me really?
Only a couple of weeks ago, I’d been affronted at the thought he
might desire me, but now I thought he didn’t and that was somehow
worse. Huriel had been right, it seemed. ‘What?’

He pulled
a quizzical face. ‘You seem… strange.’

I put a
hand over my eyes. ‘I am strange, yes.’ I lowered my hand. ‘You
could have sent me home alone, you know. I wouldn’t have
minded.’

He
smiled. ‘I am not a har to rush things.’

What did
that mean?

‘
The Nagini are subtle,’ he continued. ‘But I am not as
gullible as they think.’

‘
Haruah is like a dehar,’ I said. ‘I can imagine him dancing,
all in veils, which drop off one by one. By the final veil, you
will nearly be dead with longing.’

Malakess
laughed. ‘Striking imagery, Gesaril! But remember, the Nagini are
named for serpent spirits. Handle with care if you don’t wish to be
bitten, or constricted to death!’

‘
A bite from a Nagini… hmm. I imagine it would take you to a
world of dreams.’

Again,
Malakess laughed. ‘You like them, don’t you. I think perhaps you
should meet some of the younger ones.’

‘
I’m told I will do.’ I swallowed, and it felt as if my throat
were full of sand. ‘But maybe it is not the Nagini who inspire me,
as our friend tiahaar Sabarah would say. Maybe it is somehar
else.’

Malakess
was silent, and a ringing tension filled the interior of the
carriage. I shouldn’t have said that. Stupid of me.

I opened
my mouth to speak again, but Malakess interrupted me. ‘You’ve drunk
a lot, Gesaril. I’ll take you home.’

‘
Don’t,’ I said. ‘Take me somewhere else.’

Malakess
sighed, rubbed a hand over his mouth. ‘I am not Ysobi,’ he
said.

Again, I
was not sure of his precise meaning. He could have thought I wanted
to pretend he was Ysobi, or was merely telling me he’d not take
advantage of me as Ysobi had. ‘I know,’ I said. ‘You’re nothing
like him.’

‘
That’s not entirely true,’ Malakess said, ‘but nevertheless
I’m taking you home.’

‘
Kess…’ I had never called him that before. The short form of
his name sounded intimate in my mouth.

‘
No, Gesaril. I won’t be responsible for you in this way.
Think about what you’re suggesting. Tomorrow, you’ll feel
differently.’

‘
I won’t. I felt this way before I started drinking. That’s
the truth.’

Malakess
hesitated before speaking. ‘It would be very easy for me, Gesaril,
very easy, but you are young, in turmoil, and under my care. This
would be good for neither of us. Now please, say nothing
more.’

And so I
didn’t. We finished the journey in prickly silence. At Huriel’s
gate I got out of the carriage without speaking and didn’t close
the door behind me. I wanted Malakess to call me back, but he
didn’t. I heard him pull the door closed and then the driver urged
the horses onward. I stood there listening until I could no longer
hear the sound of their hooves.

This
morning, I was so full of cringing shame I could barely move. I
decided the best option was to stay in bed. I had virtually begged
Malakess, one of the highest ranking hara in Kyme, to take aruna
with me. How could I bear to continue living? It was too
embarrassing to endure. I was used to every har I met desiring me,
but Malakess had turned me down. My self-loathing was augmented by
the fact I’d drunk so much the night before the effects were still
in my body, which was unusual.

Huriel
brought me breakfast and, towering over my bed, inspected my
pathetic state. ‘A harish hangover,’ he said. ‘That’s novel,
Gesaril.’

‘
Leave me alone,’ I said and pulled the covers over my
head.

‘
Can’t,’ Huriel said. ‘Malakess has sent a note. You’re to
join him for lunch with the Gelaming, or rather we are. I’m coming
with you.’ My heart leapt at the news, but from what emotion it was
difficult to tell.

I put my
head out of the bed. ‘Kess has invited a Gelaming to stay
here.’

‘
I’ve already heard,’ Huriel said darkly. ‘Chrysm Luel. He’ll
report back on us.’

I sat up
and picked up a piece of toast from the tray Huriel had laid on the
bed. ‘I was awful last night,’ I said. ‘I’m surprised Malakess
wants to see me again.’

Huriel’s
eyebrows shot up. ‘Why? What did you do? He didn’t mention anything
when he called round earlier.’

He’d been
here? I tried to swallow the toast in my mouth and had to drink
some tea to accomplish the task. ‘It’s your fault,’ I
said.

‘
Mine? How? What on earth happened?’

‘
I threw myself at your mentor and he declined the offer. I
was drunk, of course.’

‘
Oh…’ Huriel pulled a face. ‘Oh well, no harm done. I’m glad
to hear your libido has woken up.’

‘
No harm done?’ I asked exasperatedly. ‘Really, Huriel. He
must think me such a fool. He turned me down!’

‘
He is aware of your history,’ Huriel said. ‘He wouldn’t take
advantage. He probably thinks you should… get back into yourself,
as it were, with somehar nearer your own age.’

‘
Do you think that? Before, you implied I should take aruna
with Malakess, that it would do me good.’

‘
I don’t think it would be a bad thing,’ Huriel said, ‘but I’m
not Malakess. I don’t know his reasons for declining your offer,
but I’m sure he refused you because he thought it was best for
you.’ He smiled. ‘Only weeks ago you were protesting how much it
offended you he might desire you.’

‘
I’m aware of the irony,’ I said. ‘I don’t know if I can face
him today.’

‘
Of course you can. This invitation is clearly extended to
show you all is well.’

‘
I suppose so.’

Huriel
put his head to one side. ‘Do you feel for Malakess, Gesaril? This
isn’t an Ysobi replacement thing, is it?’

‘
I don’t feel for him, no… not like that. It was physical,
that’s all.’

‘
Well, it has been a long time since you last took aruna. You
must remedy that as soon as possible.’

‘
Is that an offer?’

Huriel
laughed. ‘It seems you are in heat! It wasn’t an offer, no. I’m not
the har you want, and you know it. Get dressed. We’re going out in
an hour.’

I dressed
myself in another of the expensive costumes Huriel had bought for
me and pinned up my hair, allowing a few tendrils to dangle over my
face. All the while I got ready, I kept myself in check. I could
remember the excitement I’d felt getting ready to go to places
where I’d known Ysobi would be. I couldn’t fall into the same trap
here. I mustn’t look upon Malakess as a huge challenge just because
he’d spurned me. It would be so easy to do that, and it would end
badly. Huriel was right. I must find somehar else, maybe even a
Gelaming. But then, it might all go wrong, because of what I’m
like. I’m not good with aruna. I realise now that I enjoy the chase
and making hara want me, but then it’s all too much and I’m scared
of pain and bad memories, and I resent the hara for wanting me.
It’s been such a relief not to feel any of that since I’ve been in
Kyme. Damn harish needs! All because of a glance across a room.
Ridiculous.

We took
lunch in the hotel in town where the Gelaming were staying. It was,
in fact, an elegant establishment and surely as good as anything in
Immanion. Chrysm and his companions were dressed casually and
looked much better for it, in my opinion. Malakess was already
there with them when Huriel and I arrived. He greeted me as if
nothing had happened the night before, and behaved towards me in a
manner that suggested he was an unofficial hura to me. It did no
good. All I could think about was touching his body, and even the
acts of eating and drinking were charged with a sensual
current.