Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jake

I had forced myself to let her walk away. She was mad that I invaded her space. When I saw her bend over holding her stomach my heart immediately stopped beating. All I could think was the worst and it scared me to death. Starting a family has been the one thing on my bucket list that I’ve yet to complete. Then I met Vicky. Slowly, the impossible dream seemed to get more and more possible. Even before I realized I loved Vicky, I was already picturing coming home to a house full of kids running to greet me with excited squeals and bigger hugs.

The
longer I was around Vicky, the more I got to know her, she became the wife I came home and greeted with a kiss. She was the one I cuddled up with after getting all the kids to bed. Vicky was more important in my life than I believe she understands. It was the urge to be worthy of her that had me focused on getting clean. She’s the reason I’m getting my life back.

When
that pain hit her I panicked and went into protective mode. The two days that I’ve known I’m going to be a father and not of one, but three kids, I’ve gotten a little overbearing and I don’t mean to be. It’s like an itch on the palm of your hand. You can’t help but scratch it even if the old wives tale said that it meant money is coming if you don’t. Last night, I didn’t sleep well at all. My mind was racing with thoughts of what ifs I kept feeling her head, listening to her breathing. She’d smacked me a few times throughout the night.

Oh,
then to feel them moving in her stomach, that was a feeling I will never be able to describe. Everything in me knew that the time I spent pulling myself out of the black hole I sunk my life into was because of that very moment. Those three miracles were the reason I put myself through that hell. Of course their mother is my miracle that gave me both air to breathe and the reason to keep taking those breaths.

A
smile spread across my face, as I made my way up to the cabin. I detoured and headed down to the apartment. After I knocked on the door, I swore I heard come in. So I went in. However, that was not what I heard. It was very obvious when the sentence was repeated right before my eyes.

“Oh
fuck Paco, I’m cumming!” Dean roared.

Quickly,
I stepped back outside, trying to kick that vision of Paco and Dean having sex out of my head. It was one of those sights that stuck with you and you are unable to erase. Not because it was two dudes, but because they were like my brothers and I just walked in on them. I think I’d lose my shit if they ever walked in on me and Vicky.

After
knocking this time, I waited for the door to open. Dean answered the door barely dressed and still sweaty. He had a huge smile on his flushed face and seemed to still be trying to catch his breath. I’m pretty sure I blushed because Dean looked at me confused.

“What’s
up?”

“I
need you guys to keep an eye on Vicky for a bit. I need to run an errand real fast.”

“But
our appointment is in a few hours,” Paco said from behind him.

“I’ll
be back before that. Please it’s really important.”

“You
don’t need to go alone. I’ll ride with you.”

“I’ll
be fine. Vicky is more important to keep safe. I’ll be right back.”

Without
giving them a second to try and talk me out of it, I was up the hill, in the door, grabbing my keys, jumping in my car and taking off. If all was to go as planned I needed to hurry.

# # #

When I got back, I noticed Paco and Dean standing by their car. I felt bad. It took a bit longer than I intended, but they should still be able to make their appointment. Once I was out and apologized they were gone. Collecting everything I had bought, I carefully made my way down to the cove. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off I set everything up. It didn’t look the best, but hey, I did what I could.

Bolting
up the hill, I stopped outside the cabin door and took a few deep breaths. My hands were shaking and my heart hammered in my chest so fast that I thought it’d stop working. Opening the door, I headed inside.

“
Vix? Vix, can you come here?”

Shoving
my hands in my pockets so she couldn’t see them shaking, I waited impatiently by the door. After a few minutes when she didn’t come out, I walked to the bedroom and opened the door. She wasn’t in there. The bathroom was empty as well. Pulling out my phone, I dialed the guys.

“Hey,
we are a little busy,” Dean huffed into the phone.

“Where’s
Vicky?”

“What
do you mean?” He sounded confused.

“I
mean, where the fuck is Vicky!” I roared, panic taking over me.

“She
was in the bedroom.”

“She’s
not in the cabin or at the cove.”

“I
swear she was in the bedroom,” Dean sounded distracted.

“Forget
it! I don’t know why I bothered asking you guys to do your job and protect her!”

With
that I hung up the phone. Stomping outside, I started to frantically scream for her. The longer she didn’t answer, the more I started to panic.

“Vicky!
Damn it! Where are you?” I yelled, fearing the worst.

More
time passed and I turned in circles, wanting desperately to scream at the top of my lungs. The pain was already edging its way into my chest, flicking at my heart on every other beat. It was ready to take over me. If I didn’t find her soon, it will and I’ll let it too.

“Jake…”

It was distant and scratchy, but I heard it. My name was being called. Spinning in circles again, I looked in every which direction as I search for the direction the voice was coming from.

“Vicky,
where are you?” I yelled. “I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”

“Jake,”
she said again.

With
all that I am, I swear to you I heard tears in her voice. It was the way her voice carried. Normally she carried a strong, heavy with authority tone. But this wasn’t. This was full of uncertainty, fear, and if I wasn’t mistaken, there was pain in her voice. When I turned around the last time, I saw her walk out of the woods. Barely registering that she was standing there, I bolted to her, immediately picking her up in my arms and carried her to the picnic table that was in front of the house. Unable to let go of her, I held her in my lap and just held her tightly against me before taking a deep breath.

“Are
you okay?” My eyes searched her for obvious wounds as I asked.

“I’m
fine. I fell asleep in my clubhouse,” she shifted. “Won’t make that mistake again,” she groaned.

“Are
you sure you’re okay? Don’t get angry at me for worrying,” I warned.

She
smiled softly at me. “No, I won’t. But I am fine. I’m a bit sore from the position I was in, but I’m really fine.” She looked down at her hands before looking back into my eyes. “I’m sorry if I worried you. All I wanted was a bit of space and I ended up falling asleep.”

“I
know I’m all over you about everything. It’s just I feel so helpless. You’re sitting here, giving me the greatest gift I could have ever imagined and I can’t do anything to help you.”

“Just
being here and sharing in this miracle is so much more than I could ever ask for. There for a while I thought I would never have you back or have my love returned. Now I’m sitting here with you and your love sharing in all this together. I couldn’t be happier.”

My
smile widened. “You feel up to going down to the cove?”

“Sure,”
she smiled and stood from my lap.

Carefully
we walked down the path until the cove almost came into view. Much to her surprise, I scooped her up in my arms again and told her to shut her eyes.  Vicky did as she was asked and held tightly around my neck.

“Keep
your eyes closed,” I instructed as I set her on her feet.

Standing
behind her, I whispered for her to open her eyes. Vicky gasped loudly as she took in all the flowers and battery tea lit candles. Rose petals covered the ground, then below a beautiful picture of us at the charity benefit there was a sign that said simply:

Will
you marry me, Victorian Lancer?

All
the while a song played on repeat from a portable CD player. Firehouse’s
Love of a Lifetime
played over the sounds of the lapping waves. When she finally turned to face me, I was down on one knee holding out a ring box to her.

“When
we met, I was so hot for you I’m surprised my pants didn’t catch on fire. I remember thinking that I couldn’t believe my luck that we’d met. Because I wanted you so badly, I made you pretend to date me. Though I had guilt eating me alive for making you do that, it was the best move in my life I’ve ever made. Because during our fake dating, and you helping me get clean, my real feelings for you grew. One of the movies I was working on a while back, the character didn’t believe in love because it wasn’t tangible. He couldn’t see it or feel it with his hands so it wasn’t real. I believed that right along with him. Even though I saw my parents and siblings in love, I just never believed in it. Then I realized that love is a tangible thing. I feel it when I touch you, when you touch me. I feel it when we make love, look at each other, when I just talk to you. You changed my life when you came into it. It hasn’t been an easy road for us and I’m sure we’ll have more challenges to come, but if you love me as much as I love you I’d love to overcome everything that comes our way as husband and wife. I promise that I will love you with all my heart, protect you with all my being, and hold you with all my soul. Please Vicky, will you marry me?”

Tears
fell fast down her cheeks. My own tears shimmered in my eyes, taking Vicky in and out of focus. My hands began to shake as I waited for her to put me out of my misery. She just continued to stare at me with her hands over her mouth. After a moment she fell down to her knees in the sand, she cupped my face in her hands. Nothing was said, she looked in my eyes for a while before she finally nodded her head yes.

Closing
the box, I shoved it in my pocket quickly stood and swung her around in a circle. I laughed heartily as the joy of her ‘yes’ filled me and overflowed. After her complaining about being sick, I set her back on her feet, pulled out the ring and slipped it on her finger. Once it was securely on her finger, I leaned in and kissed her with everything I was feeling at that very moment.

My
body was screaming at me to lay her down in the sand and make love to her right here, but my head was screaming that she was pregnant and it would be too uncomfortable for her. All my thoughts left when I felt her hand massaging my erection through my jeans. Then she pulled back and looked at me.

“Make
love to me Jake.”

“With
pleasure, let’s go…”

She
shook her head. “No, right here. Right in the middle of this amazing, unforgettable moment you have created for me.”

“But…”

“No buts, please help make this the best possible moment in my life. You know I love making love to you. I’ll beg if you need me to.”

“You
never have to beg me, Vix. Never.”

“Then…”

I cut her off with another kiss. Slowly, I ran my hands down her body until I reached the hem of her shirt. Pulling it slowly over her head, I immediately suckled her breasts when they were revealed as I pulled the shirt the rest of the way off. She promptly pulled my shirt over my head, moaning. My hand moved to her hips, slowly sliding her pants and panties off together. Suddenly, Vicky is pushing me to my back, yanking my pants down and straddling me. The minute she slid over my length, I had to hold her still.

“I
need to move Jake.”

“No,
not yet.”

“Please,”
she whimpered.

Sitting
up, I wrapped my arms around her back. She sucked in a breath. Kissing her, devouring her, I slowly began to rock her on me. Never in my life have I wanted to take my time more with a woman than this very moment. This amazing sexy woman was going to be my wife. She deserved to be cherished loved and pleasured in a way that she’d never forget.

“I
love you. I love you so much,” I breathed as I trailed kisses down her neck.

“Can’t…
I love you, but I can’t…” she panted, then pushed me down on my back and began riding me faster.

She
was moaning loudly. It turned me on immensely to hear her sounds of pleasure. To know that I was giving her that, it was an aphrodisiac in itself. If I wasn’t careful this could be over far sooner than I want it to be.