Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (3 page)

‘
Thanks, Tabbie. You’re the best.’

‘
I know. Send money, cards, flowers.’ Okay, so I was trying to be funny. Stephanie didn’t laugh, but at least she didn’t look like she was about to burst into tears again. I hadn’t mentioned dancing again or told her how much I actually loved taking a walk in the spotlight.

I
boarded the plane, homeward bound, ready to find my minute of fame.

‘Seriously Mum, what parent in their right mind would want to throw their daughter a princess party for their fifteenth birthday? You just don’t want me to grow up. You have to face it sometime. I’m taller than you. Which means I’m no longer a little girl.’

‘
I know, honey. But you’re still so sweet. I thought having a few girls over for a tea party would be fun,’ she said and then laughed.

‘
You’re joking, aren’t you?’

Mum was now doubled over
, cracking herself up.

‘
Maybe a high tea, but not a princess tea party.’ I bit my lip.

‘Gotcha!’
She pointed a finger at me.

‘
High tea?’ I snubbed her joke, swallowing a giggle. I was so glad she wasn’t serious.

‘
Devonshire Tea?’ she asked with her head slightly tilted towards her shoulder.

‘
Mu-um.’ A gravelly voice vibrated through my throat.

‘
Leave it with me. Shame your birthday falls on a dance rehearsal day.’

‘I could skip dance.’

‘But love, your friends are there. Perhaps we could celebrate on Friday afternoon.’

‘
Okay, Friday it is. And Mum, an everyday afternoon tea will be fine.’

When
Mum wasn’t watching, I checked the pantry to make sure there weren’t any princess cupcake papers waiting for her to use.

*~*~*~*

My birthday arrived. Fifteen. I woke up expecting the world to be different. It wasn’t. It was still the same. My ridiculously beautiful and almost perfect best friend still lived miles away. There would be school classes and dance rehearsals as usual. My day looked ho-hum.

I couldn
’t concentrate. Everyone should be given a personal holiday on their birthday. Staying focused in class was virtually impossible. I wondered what Steph was doing. At least when I had her in class with me on birthdays, we’d write notes to each other and sing, “Happy Birthday,” all day.

My shoulders relaxed when the final afternoon bell clanged. Janet and Suzie weren
’t at their lockers, so I traipsed across the school grounds by myself, to yet another practice for our upcoming eisteddfod. Why was I pursuing something I only enjoyed fifty per cent of the time? Dancers don’t even get paid well, unless they take off their clothes. And there was no way, absolutely no way that that would ever happen. I mean NEVER EVER. I’m completely modest. Give me the change room with a door every time. None of that “we’re all girls” garbage. I like my privacy and that’s just the way it is.

I
knew I had nothing on Stephanie when it came to dancing, yet I had the lead. If she could move back here I was sure she’d be back to her usual self, and I might even start enjoying dancing again. Nah—probably not. If she did move back I’d have to step back into her shadow. Which would be fine. Dreamily reminiscing of past years of dancing with Stephanie, I walked through the door of the dance studio to ...

‘SURPRISE!’

Balloons.

Streamers.

Party poppers.

T
he whole dance class and some other girls were there just for me.

Squeee
!

Extravagantly decorated tables with tiered platters peeked through the crowd.
Bliss.

‘
Thank you, thank you, thank you!’ I cheered after they sang the ever-popular birthday song.

‘
There, honey, you have your high tea.’ Mum pushed through the crowd and squeezed me. ‘Now shall I go and bring out the princess cupcakes?’

‘You’
re so funny, Mum.’ I laughed. I loved the way she attempted to have fun with us. ‘I can’t believe you kept this from me!’

Mum waved a finger at me.
‘I baked your favourite caramel mud cake. And I couldn’t help myself—I baked a double batch and put the second in cupcake papers.’

I moved through the crowd to suss out if there were any more surprises. She
’d outdone herself. Mum had brought in Great Grandma Annie’s tea sets, the ones that were usually stored on the top shelf of the cabinet. A sweet set that was hand painted with flower shaped cups. Twenty-four carat gold edging embossed one set and my all-time favourite was the one with delicate bluebirds on it. Petite caramel cupcakes decorated the tiered centrepieces. Sandwiches filled with smoked salmon and cucumber cut into small squares covered silver platters. Mum had planned well. My heart overflowed. I was thankful.

I nearly let my head run away with an
“I’m so popular” moment, until I remembered Stephanie. How I wished she was here to join in. But would the spotlight be on me if she was? Even on my birthday she would have been the centre of attention. My buzzing phone pulled me from my thoughts.

‘
Happy birthday.’ Stephanie’s on-the-verge-of-tears voice echoed through the phone.

‘Thanks. It’
s the first one since we met that we haven’t spent together.’

Oops
. Wrong thing to say. Now she wasn’t talking. Sniffles crackled through the line.

‘
But hey, I’m sure things will start getting better for you at school soon.’

‘Ur
gh.’ Stephanie snorted.

‘
Would you like to come here next holidays?’ I asked, hoping to cheer her up.

‘
Yes.’ Sniffle, snort, sniffle. ‘I’ll ask Mum.’

‘
Your birthday is just around the corner. Have you got any plans?’

‘
No one to do anything with.’

‘Why don’
t you and your mum set up a high tea?’

‘
She’s too busy making friends for herself.’

‘
Oh.’ Why was Stephanie finding it so tough in Toowoomba?

A few minutes later I sai
d goodbye and reached for a cupcake. The hum of the crowd filled my ears, bringing Mr Biceps to mind. Such a fine sight. The image without essence gave me some distraction after chatting to my depressed best friend.

I did wonder, like way too often, what it would be like to have a boyfriend. Was it strange that no one in my immediate circle of friends had had a boyfriend? Not Stephanie, or Susie or Janet. We talked about boys all the time. We even checked some out from our brother school, Hill End Boys Grammar, at
our combined social events. Mum tells me, “Don’t be so boy crazy.” But it’s not like I go chasing them or anything. Just a little eye candy. There wasn’t anything wrong with a little eye candy, was there?

Most bo
ys target one thing. And I wasn’t into that. Stephanie and I used to talk all the time about staying celibate until we got married. We would dream about our wedding day and how we would save ourselves for that one special person.

I know it’
s not the coolest thing in the world. At our school, popularity didn’t revolve around having the right boyfriend or wearing the right clothes. That made our school pretty cool.

‘
What are you doing over there near the window, love?’ Mum’s voice made me jump. ‘Come over here for some photos.’

I needed to stop thinking and start enjoying. It was my party after all.

By dinner I’d made a decision. I’d enjoyed the afternoon off rehearsals immensely. I wanted every afternoon off. ‘Mum, I want to quit dancing.’

‘But love, you’
re doing so well this year.’

‘
It was Stephanie’s thing, not mine. I want to get into running, or maybe even swimming.’

‘How about you j
ust see this year out with the school dance studio and then decide over Christmas.’

‘
Why?’

‘
Because we’ve paid for your classes for the entire year.’

‘
So it’s about money?’

‘
Attitude,’ she warned, raising her eyebrows at me.

‘
And money?’

‘
Yes.’

Great, so I was going to be spinning and twisting my pear-shaped body, trying to get it to move the way Stephanie could get her body to move, for the rest of the year. Stephanie moved like a swan. I moved more like a baby
elephant. I could see it now, “Watch out, everybody. The pear shaped elephant is about to dance a solo.” And the crowd would roll with laughter. Maybe I was being too hard on myself. I must have been doing something right. I did get the lead.

*~*~*~*

Later that week, Janet bowled me over on the way to school.

‘
Party is on. This weekend at my house. Mum and Dad are away. We can have the party we’ve always dreamed of.’

‘
Sounds fantastic.’ I hoped.

‘
Who would you invite?’ asked Suzie as she bit a fingernail.

‘
You know Suze, everyone,’ Janet said.

But Suzie was thinking straight. Who would we invite? It may as we
ll be a pyjama party if we didn’t invite any boys. We had to balance it out. Good-looking boys, of course. Younger versions of Mr Biceps would be perfect. Just for a little eye candy.

‘
Tabbie.’ Janet snapped my attention back to here and now. ‘Are you daydreaming about something?’

‘
Just Mr Biceps.’ A warm flush tickled my neck.

‘
Mr Who?’ Suzie and Janet chimed in, laughing together.

I giggled.
‘On the way to see Steph, I sat beside this dreamy guy.’

‘Why haven’
t you told us?’ Suzie asked.

‘
Did you talk to him?’ Janet’s eyes widened. ‘Did you hook up?’

‘
Be real. As if. He was like thirty or something.’ And as if I’d hook up with a random guy on a plane.

‘
So, why were you just thinking ...’ Suzie's voice trailed off.

‘
We do need to include some boys—for balance.’ I shook my head to remove the biceps image from my eyes.

‘
Like who?’ Suzie asked.

‘I don’
t know. Janet, can you think of who we can invite?’

‘
Hmm. Perhaps, the whole football team from Hill End?’ Janet smiled, nodding.

‘
That’s just crazy. We’d need a bouncer if we invited the whole team.’ I gathered my books and attempted to leave for class. ‘Actually, I think a bouncer would be a good idea anyway.’

‘
What about the guys from dance?’ Suzie suggested as she grabbed my arm.

‘
Sounds like a plan.’ I walked away but this time Janet pulled me back.

‘
They’re a bit ... ahem. But I guess if we asked them to bring their friends, you never know who they might bring.’ Janet stared into the distance.

The bell vibrated through the walls.

‘Great, I’ll send the boys a text and tell them to bring a couple of mates.’ Janet tapped her phone as we trudged off to class.

Janet ripped the
plastic wrap off six-packs of Cruisers purchased by her father. She wedged them into ice-filled eskies already laden with beer. I wanted to offer soft drinks to everyone, but my friend had manipulated other plans.

Thankfully, Jane
t’s parents grew money on trees. When she asked if we could hire security for the party, they jumped at the idea. Having bouncers at the front door would keep their daughter and home safe, or so they thought.

Janet handed a copy of the guest list to the bouncers when they arrived. She
bustled them to their post on the porch and returned, grabbing a drink from the top of the esky.

‘
Cheers!’ Janet opened a Cruiser, drained it and grabbed another before our first guests arrived. The house was bumping to the beat of the playlist. I’d spent the afternoon making sure we’d have loads of great tunes to groove to.

My geography buddy Sarah arrived with her cousin
Peta, who’d played netball with Lily. The three of them grabbed a Corona each.

‘
Hey, Janet, do you have any lime wedges?’ Lily asked.

‘
No, sorry. I didn’t think of lime for the beer.’ She opened a drawer loaded with stubby holders and passed one to each of them.

Mum and Dad
had drilled my brother and me from birth, “You only know that you are an alcoholic after your first drink. We just don’t want you ending up an alcoholic like your Uncle James. Once you take that first drink ...”

Over the years I’d become more and more fearful
that I might have the addictive gene and become the alco, the black-sheep family trouble maker. I took another sip of lemonade. The sweet drink gave me a sufficient sugar buzz.

I passed Suzie a can of soft drink, knowing her parents would probably ship her off to a lock-down boarding school if she even smelt an alcoholic drink. The guests flooded through the door and soon Suzie and I were the only ones without alcohol running through our ve
ins. Everyone else indulged in Janet’s supplies.

Just before nine, Joey waltzed
in. Seriously, he looked like he was doing a Fred Astaire impersonation. He was the definition of a dancing dork. I’d hoped some hot boys would join our dance school, but so far, Joey was as good as it got.

Stop.

Get out of here.

Who just followed Joey in?

‘Suzie, Suzie,’ I whispered, grabbing her shoulder. ‘Mr Universe has just entered the house.’

‘
Calm down, Tabbie,’ she said, in a smooth molten voice, before she faced the door. She turned back to face me, with a blotchy pink trail on her neck. ‘Joey.’

The boy, lurking in the doorway beside Joey, was unmistakably
a younger version of Mr Biceps. ‘Have you ever seen that other boy in your life?’

Janet had returned for anot
her drink and rolled her eyes. ‘In my whole fifteen years? No, I can’t say that I have. Anyway, I thought you weren’t interested in boys.’

‘
Nothing wrong with a little eye candy. Have you got his name on the list?’

‘
I’ll check.’ Janet ran her finger down the guest list. ‘Hmm, let me see. Possibly Danny.’

‘
Check ya. I’m off to catch me a boy.’ Goosebumps tingled through my arms. I’d never seen anyone so gorgeous.

‘
Catch? What happened to eye candy? You’re hilarious, Tabbie.’ Suzie giggled.

I laughed and
called back over my shoulder, ‘Jokes!’

Well, life was ab
out fun. If Steph was here, she’d probably rush over to chat to the new boy. But she wasn’t here. Project “check out young Mr Biceps” was about to begin.

‘
Hi Joey,’ I said in a way-too-sweet voice before turning my attention to young Mr Biceps. ‘Hi, ahh ... did you come with Joey?’

‘
Yeah, Tabbie.’ Joey sighed. ‘This is Danny.’

‘
So, where do you go to school?’

‘
Urgh.’

Did he just grunt at
me? Would he have grunted at Steph? ‘Is that far from here?’

‘
Yeah.’ He looked to the floor.

‘
Can I get you a drink?’ Maybe he was a one word, one syllable Mr (young) Biceps.

‘
Coke.’

I turned
and spoke out loud to myself. ‘You really like to talk then, hey?’

Maybe his supreme looks were his only drawcard. I fished a Coke from the esky and handed it to him,
and then I left Joey and Danny to grunt at each other.

‘Maybe he’
s just shy,’ said Miss always-look-for-the-best Suzie.

‘
Or purely eye candy.’ Either he was shy, tongue tied, in awe of my
not
-beauty or he was a total dweeb.

The party continued while Suzie and I collected bottles. The guests drank like fish,
spilling plenty on all the slip-n-slide zones.

The party got ugly.

‘Tabbie.’ Janet squinted to see me. ‘Grrreat pardy, hey?’

‘
It’s getting a little messy.’

‘
The cleaner can fix it t’morrow. ’ll be fine.’

‘
Should we start sending everyone—’

‘
Argh! I think I’m gonna be ...’

Janet stumbled into her parents
’ en-suite. I followed, catching her hair just in time as she projectile vomited, getting most of it into the toilet. At least I’d saved her hair.

I searched the drawers for facecloths to clean her up and found some towels to mop up the mess. She puked until nothing was left but bile. Her face had morphed into a pasty shade of green and her eyelids droop
ed and fluttered. I tucked her into her parents’ bed, leaving a bucket beside her and asked the bouncers to round everyone up and out.

Suzie busied herself wiping down benches and searching for sneaky bottles under cushions or behind curtains. I was worried Janet might choke on her own spew so I sat with her until the voice of an older woman ranted outside. I
rushed to the front door. Suzie’s mum.

‘
You mean to tell me
this
is the sort of party you came to?!’ Mrs Peters pointed towards Sarah and Peta who were both clinging to a tree for support.

Suzie hung her head.

‘Get in the car now!’ Mrs Peters looked towards me. ‘And that will be the last time Suzie ever comes to one of Janet’s parties. I can see there are no adults here. I’ll be on the phone to both of your parents in the morning!’

I rushed down the stairs to apologise, but Mrs Peters had ushered Suzie into the car and tore off before I could open my mouth.

The kerfuffle had left my heart racing. I rang home.

‘
Mum, is it okay if I stay the night?’

‘
Sure, love. Everything okay?’

‘
Yeah, I just don’t want to leave Janet here on her own. She’s had too much to drink.’

‘
You mean too much alcohol?’ Mum’s voice strained.

‘Yes.’
I balanced on one foot, waiting to see if she was about to freak out.

‘
Have you had anything to drink?’

Phew, she sounded calm.
‘No, Mum. I didn’t realise Janet was going to get alcohol until the last minute.’

‘
Do you want us to come over?’

‘
No, I’ll be fine. I’ll just stay here with her.’ I hung up and I nudged Janet until she rolled over a little, leaving room for me to sit on the side of the bed.

‘
Janet.’ I bounced the bed to revive her. ‘Janet, what’s your mum’s number?’

‘
Left her phone here. Can’t call her.’ Janet turned away, pulling the doona over her head.

‘Your dad’s?’

‘Same. His phone’s over there.’

There
, sitting on the dresser were their phones. At midnight, I used my flashlight app on my mobile to find my way to the other side of the bed. I turned it off, staring until the ceiling came into view as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. Janet’s continued steady breath kept my fear of her vomiting in her sleep at bay. I listened, breath after breath and only succumbed to sleep as the birds began to tweet.

Janet woke with a throbbing head
. I dragged myself out of bed, exhausted. I rang Mum to rescue me from Janet, who insisted she didn’t get drunk and she was the life of the party. She’d be fine now that the sun had risen, but I had to get some sleep.