Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (17 page)

I grabbed an apple from the fridge. Mum was in the kitchen preparing dinner. The week dragged on while I willed it to speed
up so I could see Aiden again.

‘
How are you, love?’ Mum stopped chopping veggies for a moment.

‘
Good.’

‘
Where’s Steph?’

‘
She hasn’t been around for a while has she?’ I said as I took a bite of my apple.

‘
No, not for a while.’

‘
Are you worried about her?’

‘
Aren’t you?’ Mum asked as she began chopping again.

‘
I’ve rung both Jason’s home number and Steph’s mobile and she’s not answering either, nor is she returning my messages.’

‘
We should go around there.’ Mum put the knife down and washed her hands.

‘
If they’re not answering the home number, then they must be out.’

‘
I guess,’ Mum said. ‘I’ll call her parents and check if they’ve heard from her.’

‘
She’ll get really angry if we interfere. I’ll call again.’ Maybe I’d get somewhere if I threatened to call her parents if she didn’t answer.

I sent a text message, letting her know we were worried and
that Mum would contact her parents if we didn’t hear from her ASAP. She rang back within fifteen minutes.

‘
So, we haven’t seen or heard from you.’ I tried to keep my voice calm. If I raised too much panic there was every chance she’d hang up on me.

‘
It’s this new job. Still getting used to the hours.’

‘
What about school?’

‘
Please don’t tell anyone, but I’m not going back.’

‘
How can you keep that from your parents?’

‘
I forged their signature on some papers, so all the letters and phone calls go to Jason’s.’

‘
How is that working for you? What about school?’

‘
I forged a letter from Mum and Dad saying that I needed some time off and I’d be back next year.’

‘
The school bought it?’

‘
I think so. They rang and Jason acted like he was my dad on the phone.’

‘
Stephanie!’

‘Look, I know I’m not Miss G
oody-two-shoes like you. I’m sorry I’m failing as a friend.’

I had tears in my eyes
. She didn’t sound herself. The spark was missing from her voice. What was really going on?

‘
Are you okay? Really?’

‘
I’m fine, just a little tired. I was about to have a sleep, so I’ll talk to you later.’

‘
Please be careful,’ I said, but I think she’d already hung up.

‘Is everything okay?’
Mum asked.

‘
She says it is, but her parents don’t know the whole story. And as much as I want to tell them, she would be really angry if I did. They do have her phone number and Jason’s address, so they can call her or visit at any time.’

‘
I don’t know. I think we should go and see her. It’s a shame her parents don’t seem to be interested.’

‘Maybe they weren’
t that interested in Toowoomba either.’

‘
Really? I didn’t realise it was that bad. Is that why she wanted to move?’

I nodded.

‘If her parents would just allow us to be her guardians ... As it is, our hands are kind of tied. There really isn’t much we can do but keep in touch with Stephanie and let her parents know what’s going on.’ Mum scratched her head and gazed out the window. ‘Look, I’ll give them another call.’

*~*~*~*

Finally, it was date night. I’d expected to be more excited. As I changed my clothes to get ready for my date with Aiden, I couldn’t help feeling a little dull. Was my best friend okay? I prayed for her before heading out.

I wasn
’t ready for Mum and Dad to meet Aiden just yet, so I waited at the front of the house. It was only minutes until his car rattled to a stop in front of me. I didn’t look back, but I was sure they were both standing at the front window, gawking, hoping to check him out. Aiden jumped out and opened the car door before I had time to reach for it. A smiled gripped my face.

‘
Thanks,’ I said, as his hand guided the small of my back into the car.

‘
What kind of girl are you? Do you like action or shoot-em-up or a good old romance?’

‘
I’m not a fan of guns. Action or romance … either.’ Romance. This guy could romance me anytime.

‘
Great, let’s see what’s available.’

We watched the
trailers for a couple of minutes then checked the viewing times.

Aiden reste
d his arm around my shoulders. ‘The only one that I haven’t seen is the Tom Cruise movie. Are you okay with that?’

‘
Sure.’ I nodded.

O
bviously I was out of my mind when he asked if I was okay with his movie choice—the Tom Cruise movie was the only one I
had
seen.

Although, as the movie began, I reali
sed it was good to sit through it and actually watch it. I was expecting to have the same turmoil that I’d had while sitting beside Danny. But this time I wasn’t distracted. I guessed it was because I knew I’d have another chance to feast my eyes on Aiden after the movie. I didn’t have to steal glances in the dark.

‘
I have an early start.’ Aiden stood as soon as the credits began to roll. ‘So, I’d better drop you home.’

‘
Thanks.’ I cringed at how my one word answers lacked conversation stimulation.

He pulled his car up out
side my house and leant over before I opened the door to kiss me. Lips, tongue fluttering, more lips. I was out of breath and clutching for the door when we parted.

‘
See you soon then,’ he said.

‘
Okay,’ I whispered, leaving the car feeling dizzy.

‘
How was your date?’ Dad asked, before I stepped inside.

‘
Nice,’ I said, trying to gain control of the spin still going on inside my heart.

‘
Just nice?’

‘
Yes, nice.’ That was all the information my father needed.

‘
He’d better make sure he treats you right, or I’ll be—’

‘
Dad, it was just a date. Nothing serious.’

*~*~*~*

Rain pelted onto our windows as I sat on the couch to see what was on TV. A small knock on our front door made me jump. I flicked the TV off and jumped up to see who it was.

‘
Hi, stranger!’ I swung the door open to let Steph in.

‘
Hello.’ She shivered in saturated clothes. Her eyes were swollen behind tears that continued flowing down her cheeks.

I pulled her inside and grabbed a towel to wrap around her wanting to make everything better but unsure where to start.

‘I really miss you,’ she whispered.

‘
Is everything okay?’ I rubbed her hair with the towel.

‘Yeah, I haven’
t seen you forever.’

‘I know. How’
s work?’

‘I just got promoted.’
Steph grinned.

‘
That sounds great. More money?’

‘
Yeah, more money.’

‘
Have you spoken to your family?’

‘
No.’ She looked away. ‘They still ring most Sundays. I text them back.’

‘
How’s Jason?’ I looked her in the eye, trying to see the truth behind her words.

‘
Great.’ She blinked, looking away.

‘
Really?’

‘
Yeah, we just had a bit of a disagreement today.’

‘
You’re welcome here anytime, day or night. You know Mum and Dad are—’

‘
I know, I know, you’ve told me a million times. Really, I’m okay. We’ll be fine, honest. Tell me about you, what’s happening in your life?’

‘
I think I’m falling in love.’ I took her upstairs to tell her all about Aiden.

B
efore I’d finished, she cut me off. ‘You’ll have to introduce your amazing man to me soon then.’

‘
Steph, what’s it like?’ I’d never asked anyone, and I was sure it wasn’t like they showed in the movies.

‘
What?’

‘
You know, it ... S. E. X.’

‘
Oh, Tabbie. Is he pressuring you?’

‘
No, but when we kissed ...’ I closed my eyes, remembering our last goodbye kiss. ‘It’s like ... I don’t know how to explain it, but something happens in my body and I just want to, well ... you know.’

‘
But, Tabbie,’ Steph’s voice rasped, she shook her head. ‘You said you wanted to wait. Isn’t that what they teach you at that youth group?’

‘
But
you
wanted to wait and didn’t.’ Why did I feel like the friendship roles had been reversed?

‘
I know, but you should wait a while.’

‘
What’s with telling me not to when you went ahead and did it with Jason?’

She
looked into my mirror and bunched her hair up into a knob. ‘How long have you known him?’

‘
A couple of weeks.’

‘
Just spend some time getting to know the guy. I know it sounds crazy, but—’

‘
But why should I wait?’

‘
Because, if he really cares about you, he’ll wait. Don’t be tempted.’

‘
What if I don’t want to wait any longer?’

‘
Tabbie, this is important to you. I know if you just leave it for a couple more months you’ll be glad you did.’ 

‘
I don’t get you.’ I began to question who she had become. She was different again to who I thought she was a couple of months ago.

‘
You need to talk to one of those church people about this.’ Stephanie chewed on the side of her mouth.

‘
None, of them would get it.’

‘
You’re probably right, but you met this guy at your church. He’s part of your group.’ 

He wasn’
t actually even part of our group, just someone we met and watched play football.

‘
It’s really serious.’ Steph’s eyes welled up. ‘You can never go back. It will change who you are. I wish I could have
your
life.’

Her words sank in. I guess she’
d earned her turn to lecture me. What was I thinking? I’d do as Stephanie suggested and take it slow.

Janet walked through the school gates with swollen eyes.

‘What’s happened now?’

‘
I walked in on Dad going for it. Gah! She was like so young, twenty, if that. When I heard him laughing in the bedroom I thought he must have been sorting things out with Mum, so I went in.’

‘
Oh, how horrible.’ My stomach churned.

‘
And then Mum arrived and saw the floozy, there in her room. Can you imagine?’

‘
Oh, Janet.’ I went to give her a hug but she pulled away with clenched fists.

‘
I hate him. I hate my father.’ Her face began to turn red.

I didn
’t know what to say. I’d hate my dad too, if he did that to our family.

Janet burst into tears again. This time she let me wrap my arms around her. She
’d just settled down when the bell rang, ushering us into class.

It had been rainin
g for days—a parallel to Janet’s misery. I was at my wit’s end looking for ways to help her.

‘
Why don’t you come to youth group? I could find someone for you to talk to about your parents and stuff.’

‘
No way! The last thing I want is a bunch of well-wishers telling me everything will be okay!’ Janet stormed off and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the week.

I spent extra time getting my hair to sit just right and doubled
-coated my eyelashes with mascara. I arrived at youth group early and watched the door. Aiden didn’t turn up. The only thing that stopped tears from seeping from my eyes was Shelly’s invitation.

‘We’
re all going to watch the Aussie Rules game again tomorrow. Would you like to come with us?’

‘
Aiden’s game?’

‘
That’s the one.’

‘
Yep, I’m in.’ My heart shivered.

The next day was wet again so we sat in the car to watch. Aiden hurt his shoulder and needed assistance to leave the field. We didn
’t see him after the game and I began to brood. I counted the days since I spoke with him last. Too long.

When I
’d just about given up hope that Aiden would call again, he rang Friday afternoon and asked me out on a date Saturday night. I was bummed that I had to decline. I’d already promised to spend Saturday night at Suzie’s. After all she’d been through, and the times her parents had said I wasn’t welcome, I had to go when I had a window of opportunity. I couldn’t let her down.

When M
um dropped me off at the Peters’s, I started rambling to keep my mind off Aiden and the date I’d said no to.

‘
I’ve hardly seen or heard from Steph. I really don’t know what’s up with her. Something inside tells me not to trust Jason. But what can I do? And I still can’t believe the way Janet’s father is carrying on. It’s not fair on her, or her mother. My parents are out again tonight—another birthday party. Their social life is better than mine! Anyway, tell me what’s been happening with Joey? You’ve been so quiet about it all at school.’

‘I know. Janet thinks he’
s a closet gay, so I don’t want to talk about him around her.’

‘
But he’s not gay ... is he?’

‘
No.’ Suzie smiled, her cheeks blushed.

‘So how’
s dating with your mum and dad chaperoning?’

‘
They’re actually starting to back off a little.’ Suzie looked through the window.

‘Everything okay?’
I looked over her shoulder.

‘J
ust making sure Mum’s still outside at the clothes line. They’ve even been giving us windows of opportunity to be alone.’

‘
Oooo.’ I leaned closer. ‘Do tell.’

‘
He kissed me last night. Like, just a quick kiss before Mum and Dad came back.’ She grabbed my arm. ‘Tabbie! So, so, so, awesome!’

Suzie
’s glow warmed my heart. It was worth missing a date with Aiden to spend time with Suzie. I left her house refreshed.

*~*~*~*

The following Friday night, Aiden rang my mobile. Before I hit answer, I jumped up and down a few times to calm my excitement. My heart fluttered faster than a butterfly as I said hello.

‘
I’m off to Melbourne for the weekend.’

‘
Oh. Are you?’ My heart went from flutter to thud. 

‘
Make sure you keep next Sunday afternoon free.’

‘
Sure,’ I said, with a giggle like only a silly twit would do.

What on earth did Aiden see in me? I was just a high school girl. He had a smorgasbord of university girls to choose from. 

*~*~*~*

‘
Are you still seeing Aiden?’ Shelly asked that Friday night at youth group. 

Priscilla raised her eyebrows and moved closer to join our conversation.

I nodded, aware of the heat rushing to my cheeks. ‘Well, I haven’t seen him for a while, but he rang this afternoon. We have plans next Sunday.’

‘
I guess he’s decided this youth group isn’t for him,’ Priscilla said.

‘He’s away this weekend.’

‘I thought he was flying out to Melbourne tomorrow night.’

I opened my mouth to correct her. I was sure he was leaving tonight. But Priscilla continued before I could get the words out.

‘But I could be wrong.’ Priscilla shrugged. ‘I overheard some of the others talking about going to the football tomorrow to see Aiden.’

Maybe Priscilla was right. Maybe Aiden had other uni-style plans that he
’d rather join in with other than youth group. He hadn’t actually said when he was flying. I’d just assumed it was tonight.

In one hand I held hope that he was interested and wonderful. And in the o
ther hand I held the lectures I’d had with my best friend about dating someone in uni. All the questions I’d thrown at my best friend came back to haunt me. What are teenage guys really after? Sex. For all I knew, he might hang out in the city at the same hotel Stephanie worked at.

*~*~*~*

Janet’s parents separated again, and this time it looked like divorce was on the cards. Although she said she didn’t care, she was drinking like a fish at parties and seemed to leave behind a trail of boys that she’d kissed. Each Monday she’d brag about who she’d hooked up with.

‘
So are you just kissing them or—’

‘
It’s none of your business, Tabbie.’

‘
When you call me to meet you at a party and I come to rescue you, it is my business.’

Janet turned to walk away then
called back over her shoulder. ‘I haven’t asked you to come for a while now.’

‘So?’
I followed her.

‘
So nothing.’

‘
It’s not like I have sex with them or anything.’

‘What do you mean “or anything?”’
I punched my fingers out to make air-quotation marks.

‘
It’s no big deal.’

Suzie joined us on our walk into school. But I wasn
’t about to drop the subject.

‘
Janet, oral sex is sex. It’s one of the most intimate, personal—’

‘
What would you know anyway?’

I knew in many ways she was right. I was i
nnocent, naïve. But the words I’d just spoken weren’t from my own mind. It was like something else spoke through me. And after I spoke, calmness settled on me. I didn’t need to answer her question. I’d said enough.

‘
She’s right, Janet. It’s still sex.’ Suzie filled the silence.

‘
What would you know? You spend all your time with a gay guy.’

Suzie shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Both Janet and Suzie had enough going on in their own worlds; I didn’t want to bring up Aiden. Not yet. I kept the excitement to myself and looked forward to Sunday afternoon. I hoped we’d have a relaxing date where I wouldn’t have to worry about anything heavy. I’d tell my school friends about him when I had something to tell.

Aiden’
s shoulder was still playing up by the weekend and he didn’t have the energy to do anything other than watch a movie. This time he agreed to sit through a chick flick. It was funny and romantic. I enjoyed the light-hearted banter of the main characters. It seemed so detached from real life. Imagine if every issue could be solved with a joke and an editing director.

After the movie we had a coffee
, and again I had an urge to sit on his lap and display way too much public affection. But I restrained myself and sipped my cappuccino. As much as I loved the idea of dating Aiden, conversation tripped in some kind of broken current. I had imagined the scenario of when I began dating a boy that we’d talk constantly and always be laughing. I guess it was a bonus that I got to laugh in the cinema.

Aiden walked me to my front door. We stood on the porch pashing
. He pulled back. I gasped for a breath and then he kissed me deeply again. His hands rubbed up and down my back. My whole body tingled. There was only a door between us and my parents. Almost dangerous.

‘
Have you two had a good night?’ Dad swung open the door.

I jumped back from Aiden
. ‘This is Aiden. Aiden, this is my dad, Tom Moray.’

They were pleasant to each other but I could see Aiden was itching to back away towards his car.

When Dad stopped bombarding him with questions, Aiden faced me. ‘Movies again next week?’

‘
Or, maybe something different?’ I hated to admit it, but movie dates were a little boring.

Aiden left and Dad ushered me inside.
‘I hope you’re controlling your feelings.’

‘
What makes you say that, Dad?’ Was he just watching us before he opened the door?

‘
Just remember that you shouldn’t awaken love until love is ready.’

I nodded and went to my room. The pastor had preached about that and my church friends had mentioned
it, but it was the first time I’d heard it from Dad.