Something Found (10 page)

“Oh.” Joni looked at her warily, as if she didn’t believe what she was hearing. “Really?”

“Really.” Emily was starting to feel excited. “I spent all last week wandering around this city and didn’t really have any fun. I’m just not the type of person who enjoys doing things like that on my own. I definitely need my own time and space, but not for things like that. Besides my afternoon, uhm week, er month is free. I think I could schedule you in.”

Joni laughed a schoolgirls laugh. “This is good. This is just what I need. So what do we do?”

Emily screwed up her face thinking hard. She wanted to come up with something good. Then her features broke into a smile. The answer was easy. “Shopping.”

“Shopping,” Joni repeated.

“Yes, for fun stuff. Nothing you’d wear just around the house, something that would definitely be for a night out.”

Joni was soon sharing Emily’s smile.

“But you’ll have to help me,” Emily confessed more quietly. “Styles here are different from home. I’m having a hard time getting a handle on them. I might need some advice.”

Joni took a look at the jeans and sweater that Emily had changed into and nodded. “Yes. I can see that.”

Two hours later Emily was missing the GAP more than she ever would have thought possible. She had had a wonderful love affair with her own special GAP on the corner of Broadway and Aldine just a three-block walk from her apartment in Chicago. They had her size, they had her taste, and she felt at home as soon as she walked in the door there. Shopping in Cork was something all together different.

Joni held five different tops in her hand and was pushing Emily in the direction of the dressing rooms.

“But they’re flouncy,” Emily whined.

“Yes,” Joni agreed.

“But I don’t do flouncy.”

“Well you’re going to try it because we’re not leaving until you do.”

Emily shot Joni a dirty look but dutifully headed off with the clothes in hand. She grumbled her way through them until she had the third one on. It was a dark brown with long flowing sleeves but it fit snugly around her midsection in a flattering way. She poked her head out to show Joni and found her standing in front of a full-length mirror. Emily’s mouth dropped open.

“Joni, you look amazing!”

Joni was wearing a long tight black skirt and a black top similar to the one Emily had on except that it revealed her shoulders as well. Emily could see her smiling in the mirror. “I don’t look too bad do I?”

“You’re buying that outfit,” Emily insisted.

A frown appeared. “But where would I wear it?”

“Out,” Emily answered easily. “Wasn’t that the whole point of this trip, to find something to wear out?”

“But with who? I can’t even remember the last time Robert and I went out. He’s always too tired.”

Emily stepped out a little bit further from her dressing room. “Well if he sees you going out in that he might wake up. Why don’t we do it tonight? That’ll get him interested when he sees you heading out without him. We’ll just have a drink or two, stay out long enough to make him miss you. Let him deal with the kids when Laura drops them off.”

Joni perked up at the idea. “Well then I’ll have to get shoes too. I’d have to complete the outfit. And we still need to find a skirt for you.”

 -

Joni rifled through her bags again wondering if she was doing the right thing. She had known from a distance that it was Emily running ahead of her and had seriously considered driving on past. It was only on impulse that she’d stopped. And when Emily’d suggested shopping she’d had her doubts. The girl seemed to have very little style and she’d been afraid of the results to come. But she was lonely. She hated admitting it but she was.

And then Emily had surprised her. She’d been open to trying new things on, well, most things. She’d been fun and girly and not so full of serious talk like she normally was. It had actually been enjoyable. But going out for drinks. Was that pushing the whole thing too far? Was Emily just waiting to get her drunk and have a go at another probing conversation? Or could she actually loosen up and remain fun?

-

“What do you mean you already have plans for tonight? I thought we could go see a movie? Get some popcorn. You love popcorn.”

Emily smiled at Collin’s attempt to woo her.

“Not tonight.”

“But where’re you going?”

Emily thought about it for a minute before shaking her head. “I forget. It’s a cocktail bar though, very trendy, with lots of martini drinks. I like those as much as I like popcorn.”

“With who?” Collin’s forehead was creased with curiosity.

“Your sister, okay? She’ll make sure I’m well supervised.”

“But why can’t I come?”

Emily stopped in the middle of brushing her hair and moved over to where Collin was sitting on the bed. She couldn’t resist kissing his pouting lips. He was cute when he was like this. “Because she needs a girls night out,” Emily explained. “She wants to feel attractive and flirtatious and it’s not as easy to do that with her little brother tagging along.”

“But you aren’t going out to be flirtatious.”

“No. I’m going out to have some fun and keep your sister company.”

Collin looked confused. “I know I should be delighted that you and Joni are starting to hit it off and I am, but I’m beginning to think she might not be such a good influence on you.”

Emily kissed him again. It was nice to see the twinkle of jealousy in his eyes. It was a side of him she’d never seen before and it made her feel more attractive. “Instead of getting upset why don’t you call up some of your school friends and have a boys night out. I know you haven’t been out with them lately because you hate leaving me on my own at home.”

“Hmm,” Collin brightened. “Good idea. Unsupervised drinking.”

Emily felt concerned for a minute and then worked to erase the look from her face. “Just make sure you make it home safely to your own bed.”

Collin pulled her into his arms and rolled over so that they were both lying on the bed. It had been too long since Emily had been this way. The mischievous side of her was definitely beginning to reemerge. “What time are you going out?”

Emily snuggled into his arms. “Not for another two hours.”

“Plenty of time for me to remind you why you don’t need to be flirting with other men.”

“Plenty,” Emily agreed with a shiver of delight.

“You should have seen the look on his face,” Joni said when the two of them were seated with cosmopolitans in front of them.

“Huh?”

“When he saw me going out in this outfit. His jaw dropped. I haven’t gotten that kind of reaction out of him in years.”

Emily shared in her delighted smile. “The plan worked.”

Joni rubbed her belly self-consciously. “I just wish I was still in the same shape I used to be.”

“Nonsense, you’re in great shape.”

Joni’s eyes narrowed. “Not sitting next to you little miss runner.”

“Yeah, but no matter how fit I am I’ll never have long sexy legs like yours.”

Joni feigned commiseration. “That’s very true.”

Emily snorted, “You’re great for the ego.”

“Aren’t I?”

Emily looked around checking the place out. It reminded her of bars at home with the tall round tables and shiny chairs to go with them. The lights were artistic and dimmed to set the mood. The bar boasted at least five different types of vodka, gin, and whiskey. And the paintings on the wall were colorful and fun. It was still early and only a few of the tables were full.

“So when was the last time you and Robert went out?” Emily sipped at her drink, still casually checking out the place. She wasn’t sure how touchy the subject was.

“Went out, went out?”

“Well, yeah.”

Joni shrugged. “Eons ago.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Emily looked up. She didn’t mean to sound so shocked. But she couldn’t help the image that popped into her head of her and Collin five years down the line in the same position and it scared the shit out of her.

“No. Obviously not.”

“Then why don’t you change it?”

Joni’s eyes darkened. “This is exactly what I was afraid of. You and your deep probing conversations all the time.”

Emily snapped her mouth shut and silently berated herself. Why did she always have to push things?

Joni looked away and Emily thought the whole night was ruined.

“It’s not that easy,” Joni said when she looked back.

Emily remained quiet; afraid she’d say the wrong thing again.

“I don’t know how to change things anymore. We used to laugh things off but these days it seems jokes turn into fights. It’s like we don’t even know how to talk to each other anymore.

“Do you still love him?”

“Yes,” Joni answered without hesitation.

“And he still loves you?”

“He better.”

“Well that’s something.”

“Yeah, something.” Joni took a long swallow of her Cosmopolitan, drinking almost half the contents in the glass.

Emily thought about telling Joni about her own problems with Collin lately. Not that they were necessarily problems, they were just . . . . . Then she realized how hard it must be for Joni to admit to any problems of her own. It was a hard enough thing to admit to yourself much less to someone outside the situation.

“Look, I’m sorry for bringing it up. You got his attention tonight. Let’s just focus on that. I’ll try to stop being so probing and we’ll just have some fun.”

“Wonderful,” Joni dragged the word out sounding relieved. Then she waved her hand flamboyantly in the air and Emily guessed the alcohol was starting to take effect. “I think after another martini we’ll be just about hitting our stride.”

Emily still felt a little uncomfortable but tried to fight past it by taking a large sip of her own drink. Then she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. “Joni, don’t look, but I think that guy over there is checking you out?”

“Where?” Joni’s head began to swivel.

“I said don’t look!”

Emily woke with a hangover from hell. She hadn’t heard Collin come in during the night but she’d noticed his snoring during the early hours of the morning. Then, just as suddenly, he was gone. Funny how he could stay out later, drink more, and still get up early and function at work. She placed her hand on her throbbing head and tried to remember the events of the night. There had been shots and then Joni had approached two men at the bar, hit it off with them, and left them flat just when they thought it was going somewhere; her ego fully inflated. Then there had been more shots.

The phone rang and Emily pulled the pillow over her head. There was no one on earth she wanted to talk to enough to answer it. Instead she managed to make it to the bathroom (on the way discovering that her legs were screaming with pain from her run the day before) and pour herself a glass of water, consuming half of it before she climbed back into bed to fall asleep.

It seemed only minutes later when the phone rang again. This time she lifted herself from a dead sleep and answered before stopping to think what she was doing.

“Hello,” she mumbled.

“Is that you Emily?”

No other voice could have sobered her as quickly. “Yes mom.”

“Isn’t it almost one o’clock over there? I did get the time change right didn’t I?”

“Yes. Yes. I’ve just got a bit of a bug. I’m fighting off a bad headcold,” Emily lied, feeling like a teenager as she did it.

“Oh. Well they do have damp winters over there. I hope you’re bundling up enough. I just wanted to call and see how you’re settling in.”

“Fine mom. We’re settling in fine.” She picked up on the tone she was using and hated herself for it, but it seemed to come out of her mouth of its own volition.

“And you’re comfortable in the house?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re finding your way around town?”

“Yes.”

“Oh good.”

The line went quiet and Emily wanted to kick herself. Her mother was really trying. “Look Mom, I really appreciate you calling. I’m just not feeling well today. But I promise I’ll give you a call in the next few days when I’m feeling better.”

“Oh. Okay. Well . . . . I hope you get better soon. I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” Emily hung up the phone and buried her head under the covers. She didn’t want to think about what she’d just done.

As soon as she could manage to shower and pull herself together Emily left the house. She’d wanted to spend the whole day in bed, to curl up with a book when her head stopped pounding and wait for Collin to come home and make it all better. But that option was gone. She’d squirmed under the bed covers after the phone call as the guilt burrowed its way deeper and deeper into her. The only way to escape it was to get up and get out of the house.

She had no real goal in mind, just fresh air. But she wasn’t surprised when she found herself making her way to Ryan’s Furnishings. She wanted to see Collin’s reassuring smile, to feel she wasn’t a completely horrible person.