Scars of the Present (6 page)

Chapter Eight

We didn’t speak as he drove and I looked around the car. It looked very much like a family used this car with children’s books and a few toys here and there. A pink booster seat sat in the middle of the back seat, and I imagined adorable little Claire sitting there.

“David?” I turned to look at him.

He glanced from the road to me quickly. “Yeah?”

“Will you tell me about Claire?”

A huge, infectious smile spread across face and I couldn’t help but smile too.

“Claire is six, almost seven, and one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever known. She’ll be starting first grade this year and is more excited about school than I ever remember being. I never even thought about being a father, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her now.”

I continued to smile at his enthusiasm, and I silently wondered if I’d ever have anything in my life that I was that passionate about.

“Her mom,” he continued. “Her mom and I were young and stupid. Barely out of high school, and I was just getting ready to start the force when she told me she was pregnant. We had only been dating for about a year when it happened, and despite her parents’ wishes, I refused to marry her. I’m glad I didn’t though, because Claire wasn’t even a year old when we decided we couldn’t stand each other.”

“That sucks for you guys, but mostly for Claire,” I mused from the passenger seat.

“Yeah, but at least we weren’t married. Alicia had her own things she wanted to do with her life, and they definitely didn’t include me and at the time they barely included Claire. She’s been a flight attendant for a little over five years and so her schedule is crazy. Claire sees her a few days a month when she’s home and is with me the rest of the time.”

“That’s got to be hard with your hours.” I thought about the time he came to the hospital in the middle of the night when Maddie had been raped.

“Oh yeah. Without Sarah I would be screwed. My house is actually on the same block as theirs and she is a life saver. She comes over and stays with her if I need to and is, most definitely, my hero. Alicia helps as much as she can when she’s home and she really is a pretty good mother, she’s just not cut out to be a full-time mom.”

He pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and shut off the car. “Everything I do in my life I do with Claire in mind. What she needs, what she wants, outweighs everthing.”

“I can’t imagine a life where all of the decisions you make impact a tiny person like that. That’s a lot of responsibility.”

He nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt. “It’s an adjustment at first, but you’d be surprised at how quickly you adapt when you love someone.” He pushed the button on my seatbelt, and I let it retract back into its slot. “Claire is with Alicia tonight, though, and I have nowhere I have to be.”

I smiled at him and gestured towards my apartment. “Want to come up?”

“Yeah, I do.” David opened his door and came around to open mine. I stepped out of the car and entwined our fingers as I led him upstairs. I unlocked the door and we stepped inside the dark living room. I stopped only to lock the door behind us and continued on to my bedroom.  Unlike the last time he had been in my bedroom, our movements were slow and deliberate.

I kicked my shoes off into the closet and dropped my wristlet onto the dresser. I reluctantly shrugged out of his warm jacket and hung it on the back of my desk chair.

David glanced around, making sure to look at the random pictures and trinkets I had around the room. I stood in the doorway to the bathroom, pulling my earrings out of my ears and let him continue his exploration. He stopped in front of a picture me at the beach, probably when I was about two years old, and dad’s arms were around me from behind as he carried me into the waves. Both of us had huge smiles on our faces, and I wished more than anything I remembered that day. Carol had given me the picture for Christmas after I had moved out and she insisted that I didn’t give up on my misunderstood parents.

“You were pretty cute here,” David said, pointing at the picture.

“What do you mean ‘were’? I think I’m still pretty damned cute.” I fought the urge to move towards him and managed to stay still in the doorway.

“Oh Tink, you’re not cute. Or adorable. Or sweet.” He closed the distance between us slowly as he spoke. “You’re fierce. And captivating. And extremely sexy.” On the last word he ducked down and caught my lips with his own, his hands coming to rest of my cheeks. I grabbed him by his vest and pulled him closer to me.

He backed up until he was at the bed and he sat on the edge, bringing me down so I was in his lap.

“You’re also short. Did I mention that?” He grinned against my mouth and I lightly bit his lip.

“Be nice, detective.”

“Or what? You’ll kick me out in my bare feet again?” David’s voice had a lightness to it, but I could tell he was partially serious.

“I’m really sorry about that.” I took a deep breath and ran my hand through his hair. “I overreacted and I think for more than one reason. I remember lying draped across your chest and thinking that being with you was amazing, and not just sexually. The whole night had been so much fun and I panicked. I stopped letting people get close to me a long time ago and, for the first time, I considered what it might be like if I did. The phone call gave me the perfect out.”

David leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss before reaching back to slowly unzip my dress.

“Stop thinking so much and just live, Sydney. Just let me worship you tonight and we’ll figure everything else out as we go.” He pulled my dress down to my waist and moved his hands to my bare breasts, tenderly tracing my nipples with his fingers.

“I think about our night together all of the time,” he said as he moved his lips to my neck. “I dream about it.”

I held onto his shoulders for support as I let my head fall back with my eyes closed. “Me too. You ruined me for everyone else.”

“Good.” He turned us so that I was lying on my back, my legs dangling off the bed. “I know you, Tink, and I know that you use sex to keep yourself connected and distant all at once. I want sex between us to be more than that for you.”

He gripped my dress, sliding it over my hips and down my legs until I was in nothing but my white, lace panties. Hooking his fingers in the band of my underwear, he dragged them down too.

“And, if we’re going to be having sex, Sydney, you’re not going to be having sex with anyone else. That includes random strangers or best friend’s brothers.” He moved to the floor as he talked and parted my legs gently so he was kneeling between them. His fingertips traced the insides of my thighs lightly and I grabbed fistfuls of the sheet from above my head.

Suddenly his fingers stopped moved, and after a moment I opened my eyes to look at him, confused.

“Do you understand me?” Determination lined David’s face as he spoke. “Just me.”

I nodded my head desperately. “Just you, David.”

He grinned and suddenly his mouth was on me. My whole body arched off the bed, and the only thing keeping me down were his hands at my hips.

He licked, sucked, and nipped languidly, until I was chanting his name like a prayer. He pulled his face back and I opened my eyes slowly, my whole body feeling uselessly relaxed. I watched as he unhurriedly undid his bowtie, unbuttoned his vest and shirt, pulled his undershirt over his head, and finally pulled his pants off his legs.

David stood in just his boxer-briefs, his impressive erection straining against the cotton, and I licked my lips hungrily.

“Let’s move you so you’re completely on the bed,” he said, as he grabbed my legs and shifted me. He pulled off the last of his clothing and reached into the nightstand where he knew I kept the condoms. When he climbed on top of me, my whole body sang in joy at our closeness, and I inhaled sharply as he pushed inside of me. David’s eyes fluttered shut and he didn’t move for several long moments.

“God Tink, we fit together so well.” He began to move and I wrapped my legs around his waist to pull him closer. Each powerful thrust made every other sexual experience seem like child’s play, and I knew that nothing would ever feel as right.

It wasn’t long before my body felt like it was going to float away again, and I dug my nails into his back as a powerful orgasm washed over me. When I finally came back to the present, David had stopped above me, and his forehead was touching mine again.

“Amazing,” I whispered quietly, stretching my neck to kiss him. “Still just as amazing.”

He kissed me back and when we finally parted, he stood and disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, he laid down next to me and pulled me close before bringing a sheet up to cover us. I didn’t bother to tell him that I didn’t do the after sex cuddling thing because it seemed that with David, all of the rules were broken.

–––

I woke up the next morning and his arms were wrapped around me from behind. We had woken up like this earlier and it led to our fourth round of sex before the sun had come up. I slowly disentangled myself from his arms, my bladder deciding I couldn’t just stay and cuddle with him any longer. Once I came out of my bathroom, I pulled my robe on and checked the time, noticing it was after eight. I walked out of the bedroom with every intention of starting some coffee, and I was surprised when I saw Maddie and Josh sitting in the living room watching TV.

Quickly pulling my bedroom door shut, I stepped out and gave them both a smile.

“Morning guys.”

Maddie smiled back, muting the TV. “Morning Syd. How was your thing last night?”

I moved into the kitchen to see how much coffee was still in the pot before answering. “It wasn’t that bad, actually. Well, once you get past the fact that my mom made go with some old pervert. Otherwise, it was okay. A worthy cause.”

I cleared my throat and pulled the tie on my robe tighter. “I didn’t see the truck last night, so I didn’t realize you guys were here.”

Josh put down the laptop he was working on and shook his head. “Something’s wrong with the transmission, so she’s in the shop for now. Maddie’s become my official chauffer.” He grinned and leaned in to give her a kiss on the nose.

“Ah, I see.” I fidgeted with my fingers, and felt guilty. I had told Josh I wouldn’t bring men home after Maddie’s second attack and yet I had done just that last night.

With the TV still muted in the living room, the sound of movement in my bedroom was fairly obvious and I froze.

Josh listened for a moment and sighed. “It is your place too, Sydney. I’m not going to yell at you because you brought someone home.”

Maddie rolled her eyes and slapped Josh lightly. “I hate that she’s even afraid that you’re going to be mad at her for it. I told you, she can bring people home. It doesn’t bother me.”

I shook my head furiously and walked towards my bedroom door. “Last night was the first time since… well, since that night. But, it’s not just anyone.”

Maddie raised her eyebrows and stared at me. “Sean?”

The door behind me opened and David stepped out, wearing his undershirt and tuxedo pants, as he smiled at Maddie and Josh.

I shook my head weakly. “Um, no. Not Sean.”

David’s eyes narrowed at the sound of Sean’s name, but he didn’t address it. “Good morning, Maddie. Josh.”

Maddie’s smile was so big it looked like her face was going to stretch apart. “Good morning, Detective- I mean David.”

Josh walked over to shake David’s hand and grinned at me. “David. Want some coffee?”

“Oh no thanks, I’m not much a coffee guy. If you guys have any milk or juice that would be great though.”

“I’ll get it,” I said, moving into the kitchen.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and David a glass of orange juice, but instead of picking either of them up I just stood at the counter for a minute. I used to have guys over all of the time and the walk of shame in the morning was always no big deal. Hell, my friends have probably seen more of me and my sexual partners than they cared to over the past four years. But for some odd reason, having David here flustered me and I felt like a fish out of water.

I picked up both mugs and walked back to David, handing him the one with orange juice in it. He accepted it with a smile and we stood in awkward silence for a minute.

Maddie hopped up and moved into the kitchen. “I’m gonna make pancakes.” She spoke the declaration with so much glee that I rolled my eyes. “Do you have time for pancakes, David?”

He glanced at me before smiling at Maddie. “Sure. I am free for a couple of more hours. I might shower first, if that’s okay with you, Sydney. I just need to run and grab my gym bag out of my car; I keep a change of clothes and toiletries in it.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure my coconut body wash would smell great on you if you get tempted.” I winked at him and he laughed.

He handed me his juice and moved towards the front door. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

Maddie let out a little squeal the second the door closed. “I knew there was something going on between you two!”

I glanced back at the door and scowled at Maddie. “Shush, Mads. I’ll explain it all later, okay?”

She nodded and went back to her pancakes and I moved back into my bedroom, setting our cups on the dresser. I pulled a clean towel out of my closet and dropped it off on the bathroom counter for David. I heard my bedroom door click shut and I poked my head out of the bathroom door to see him digging around in a blue duffel bag.

“I put a clean towel on the counter for you. I’m sure you have your own, but this way you don’t have to worry about carrying a wet towel around.” I felt like I was rambling, so I decided just to shut up.

“Thanks Tink.” He stepped into the bathroom and dropped his bag on the floor before turning the shower on. I shamelessly watched as he pulled his shirt over his head, and I wanted to groan as I stared at his delicious stomach.

He dropped his pants to his ankles, stepping out of them, and I really did groan when I realized he hadn’t pulled his underwear back on.

“You are killing me.” My eyes just ran up and down his body greedily.

He opened the door to the shower and stood there for a moment without getting in. “Are you coming, Tink?”

I dropped my robe to the floor and met him at the door before he had a chance to finish asking.