Restraint (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (32 page)

Seeing red
- I fling Ezra’s office door open and catch it before it rebounds off the wall and beams me in the skull. I jump to his desktop in one move. Never have I moved this way. I feel more animal than man. A look of shock crosses Ezra’s face- jaw-dropping shock.

Crouched atop his desk like a feral animal
, I lock stares with him. I coil all my fury into my muscles and launch myself at him. I knock Ezra out of his chair and ride his body several feet across the floor. When we stop, I start pummeling him with my fists. Seething, nonsensical words flow from my rabid mouth.

A hand tries to stop me and I bite it. He tastes soapy- clean- Cortez.

“Don’t!” Ezra commands and I almost stop. “Let her get it out. We fucking deserve it!”

“You fucking B A S T A R D!
” I scream in his face and punch him hard enough to draw blood.

“Katya, please stop. You’re going to hurt yourself. You can’t punch h
is hard head with your tiny fist. You’ll break it.” Cortez sounds so reasonable. That should have been my tip-off. Cortez is the least reasonable of the merry fucked up trio.

“How could you? Do you have no boundaries? This is beyond human!”
I scream.

“I had to save them at any cost,” he cries out.
“It was life or death!”

Ezra’
s response momentarily stuns me. My readied fist falls to my lap as I sit perched on Ezra’s chest. I’d been beating his handsome face with my fists. Blood drizzles out the corner of his mouth- blood that I spilled.

“Katya, why don’t y
ou tell me what Ezra’s done now,” Cortez calmly says. He tries to pull me off of Ezra, but I don’t allow it.

“
I will even help you beat him in the dungeon later,” Cort tries to placate me. “We’ll even have Aaron help. That’s how it’s done.” He tries to pull me away from Ezra again. He clasps my fists, making sure I won’t hurt myself by beating Ezra. My knuckles are bloodied and bruised.

“
This isn’t the place for this. Our colleagues can hear.” Cortez is back to sounding oh-so reasonable again. He gently strokes my hair and whispers soothing words to me. He treats me like a wounded animal or maybe a psychiatric patient.

Ezra is frozen beneath me, his eyes tracking my every movement. He says nothing, just patiently waits to see what else I will inflict. “Ezra
pretended to be my therapist, Dr. Jeannine” I say without taking my eyes from Ezra. Shock flashes across his face. “I… I just can’t believe the lengths you went to in order to invade my privacy. I would have told you if you’d asked. But no- you made up people who don’t exist. You have me bond with them, and then come in like God and take them away.” I hit him in the chest with my fist- it barely lands. It’s more out of frustration than the need to hurt him.

“Kimber was my friend,” I sob.
“I grieve for her. Jeannine was my doctor who I told very private things to. Both never existed. My emotions don’t know that, though. They were very real for me and now they’re dead,” I sob out the last word.

A maniacal laugh bubbles
up Cortez’s throat scaring me. “If this is how she reacts to this. She will never speak to us again when she gets the rest of the truth, Ezra. You really should have just told her three years ago. Yeah, Dr. Zeitler knows best. I don’t fucking think so,” he snidely says while laughing without humor.

“I can’t trust you. I don’t trust you.” A keening noise erupts from me and I smother it. He will
not break me, nothing ever does and nothing ever will.

Ezra looks me in the eye as
he clenches his fists in the back of my shirt. “Listen to me, Katya,” he orders, and I comply. I calm as my green eyes meet his stormy gray.

“I am a psychiatrist. I know what I am doing. I went into this field because I’m mentally ill, and I can relate to my patients. I’d made the decision long before I was abducted and harmed. After that, it was the only thing that kept me sane. Three years ago, when I first started stalking you, I wanted to just tell you the truth. None of this has been about whether or not I am Master Ez or Ezra Zeitler. This game has been an intense therapy session meant to draw the memories that you’ve been denying yourself. You need to heal, and I’m healing you in the only way I know how. I’m sorry that it was underhanded, fucked up, and wrong. But I never said I wasn’t any of those things.”

“I… I don’t even know what to say about that,” I half whine, confusion thick in my voice. “All this was in the name of therapy?”

“Yes and no. It was for our mutual therapy. We both need to heal, and you have yet to truly remember. When you finally give in to the memories, then and only then, will I allow you to push me away and
to hate me. But until then, you’ll do what I say for the sake of all of our sanities.”

“I…” I don’t know what I want to say, but Ezra silences me with a fingertip to my parted lips.

“No, I’ve explained all that I can. The rest is up to you, Katya. Cort, please take Katya to her apartment. Do not leave her alone for a second,” He says to Cortez. He turns his gaze back on me and continues, “I’m giving you a few hours to think. Tonight- the dungeon- we’ll work this out. You can punish me for our trespasses. But you still need to remember,” he ominously warns.

Cortez drags me off Ezra
, but my legs won’t support my body. They trail like dead weight as I’m pulled away from my master’s body. The sobs I’d suppressed finally bubble up as my heart breaks. I’d say it breaks into two, but no, three. And it’s killing me inside.

Cortez
finally gives up on me finding my own footing, and hauls me into his arms. “Kiss her goodbye,” Cortez orders Ezra.

“
Cort, I don’t think that such a good idea,” Ezra guiltily says.

“No, do it. Nothing is irreparable. We’re alive- we live. Kiss her goodbye. If she bites
, at least I will have something to laugh about.” Cort slyly smirks.

Ezra slowly approaches me, as if
afraid to spook me. He tenderly takes my face in his hands as if it’s made of spun glass. When his lips connect with mine, I sob and clutch my chest against the pain.

Warm drops hit my face.
At first I think they are tears from my eyes until I look to Ezra. Tears stream down the sides of his face, and it’s my undoing. I kiss him gently, just a brush of lips. He trembles at the contact, and sighs.

“You both have the afternoon to think up something creat
ive. Make the punishment brutal. I deserve it.” He looks to Cortez and me with his face full of shame and agony.

Chapter Thirty-One

“I’m going to
take a shower,” I call to Cortez as I make my way through my living room.

“Hey, I think we need to talk about this. You’ve got a lot going on right now. Let’s work it out. Okay?”
Cort hopefully asks, trying to use his charm to get me to do as he asks.

I stare Cortez down. The animal is still in control. I no longer hurt- mentally, physically, or emotionally. I feel
clearer headed than I have in almost twelve years. I am no victim. I endured an hour of hell in my favorite place on Earth. I’ve held the consequences of that hour forever. I’ve brought a person into this world, and she will never feel these far reaching consequences wrought on me.

Ezra did what he thought was right
, what he was trained to do. He tried to slowly pull my issues out until I could face them. He was wrong in his execution. He should have come to me as himself. Whether it was Dr. Jeannine or Dr. Zeitler, it would have played out the same, only I wouldn’t feel the sting of betrayal right now. He will pay for that mistake. It’s about fucking time someone pays when they destroy me.

“Ah, Cortez, you want to hold me while I break
,” I snidely purr. “You think I need coddled and cuddled,” I sarcastically say with venom dripping from my voice. “News flash- I won’t break. I’ve cried enough on you guys’ shoulders. It’s time for action. I do not lie down and wait- die. I act.”

“What’s the plan?” Cortez
looks at me as if seeing me for the very first time. I look back at him as well- truly seeing him. He is more like me than the others. Aaron is childlike in his pain. I’m not discrediting him for it. I love him because of it. Aaron will always put Ezra above all others, no matter the consequences.

Ezra reacts al
l right, but on his own terms. He is selfless because he takes care of Aaron and Cortez first, but selfish because he does it to punish himself. The air around him is permeated with self-hatred. Does he know you can’t truly love someone if you can’t love yourself? You’ll always doubt their love because why should they love you back. Ezra is a martyr.

Cortez sees
to his needs and wants first. It sounds selfish, but it’s not. How can you help others if you can’t help yourself? He doesn’t break. He doesn’t wallow in his pain. He knows he is fucked up and accepts it. His attitude allows him to accept everyone else despite their problems. It’s a simple way of living, ruthless and practical. 

I accept them all.

“We’re going shopping, and then setting up the dungeon. I need you to do a few things. This will go down in history as a phenomenal punishment.”

“You
’re not going to really hurt Ezra are you?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. A wicked smirk pulls my lips. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” he breathes out.

“
Says the man who used me to punish Ezra. Yeah… I ain’t buying your bullshit, buddy,” I tauntingly say as Cort chokes on a laugh. “Oh, Ezra will hurt, alright,” I cockily say, “Just not physically- much. He made a mistake. While he was studying me under his microscope, I was learning him, as well. I know his weaknesses, and we’re going to prey on them.” We share a conspiratorial smile for what’s to come.

“I knew you’d fit in. You were meant to be in our group. We all
complement each other in perfect harmony.” He stalks toward me with a naughty smirk on his face. I back up because of that anticipatory smile. I keep backing up as he tracks me across my living room. Cortez pulls my hair hard, tightly wrapping his fingers in the back of my hair. We collide in a forceful kiss, lips mashing together, teeth nipping, tongues dueling. I breathlessly push Cort off of me, but only after I’ve fiercely returned the kiss.

Wrong to kiss Cort? Yes
Was it thrilling to do it? Yes.
Do I want to do it again? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Will I do it again? God, I hope not.

I’m not ready to admit that I’d be
perfectly happy fucking all three of them. My subconscious is calling me a whore. I don’t give a fuck. I have a lot to make up for. It’s freeing. I feel independent in my whoredom.

“
I’ll call Aaron while you shower.” Cortez reaches for his cell phone.

“No!” I
abruptly say while grabbing his cell from his hand. “Aaron loves Ezra too much. He’ll spoil our plans. Don’t worry. He’ll be in on the action. We all will,” I say ominously. A smile stretches across my face as I think of all of us doling out the punishment.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“Thank you for coming, ladies and Gent
lemen- Masters of Restraint- Dominants and submissives- Restraint Members and their guests. We have a fun and exciting show for you tonight.” I grandly announce. My tone demonstrates the excitement flowing through me. This part of the punishment is twofold: Ezra isn’t an exhibitionist nor has he ever been topped. Perfection!

In anticipation of Ezra’s punishment,
Cortez had rounded up the Masters and the members of Restraint, and each are accompanied by two guests. The dungeon is packed to its seams with voyeurs.

“Aaron,” I call
to my reluctant lover, and by the nasty glares Aaron is throwing my way, he is now my ex-lover. Aaron doesn’t tolerate anyone being mean to his hero, and that is why I didn’t allow Cort to call him beforehand. “Bring our naughty Master,” I order him. He shoots me another glare as he stalks off to get Ez.

Ezra strides
across the floor, head held high with his eyes peering at me through the cutouts in his hood. My belly stirs. My God, this is what I want. I am about to top my own master and it feels fan-fucking-tastic.

Ezra, seeing my visible excitement, smirks at me.
Oh, Master Ez, you won’t be smiling in a moment.
“Boss, stand directly in the center of the dungeon under the hook,” I command. He obeys by standing underneath the hook. He looks at me as if saying
what now?
 

“Our gracious M
aster gifted me with a pair of cuffs. I think I should return the favor. What do you think? Should I leash our Boss?” I jingle the cuffs in front of Ezra’s eyes. The crowd whoops and catcalls their agreement. The excitement in the room is palpable.