Red Sun (33 page)

My eyes drifted down to her signature and the smile on my face faded a little.  “Oh…..tell
her I said thank you.”

“You’ll be able to tell her yourself when we head home in a couple days.”  He glanced down at the time.  “I’ve
gotta get to work though. You’d better get in there too, before you’re late.”

I smiled again weakly and closed the door behind me.

“That’s cool.  Maybe she’s really trying,” Tarik said hopefully as we paced toward the shop.

I still wasn’t buying it though. 
My past experiences with Alicia made me leery about believing that she was capable of being kind and giving without having ulterior motives.  To me, this was her way of proving a point to my dad – not to me.  She wanted him to think that she was trying and really wanted me to come home, but I knew the truth.  I wasn’t welcome in her home.  To her, I was simply my father’s baggage.

When we opened the door to Ruthann’s she was planted in front of the register looking down at something in her hands.  When she heard the bell over the door, she looked up and greeted Tarik and me with a warm smile l
ike she does most mornings.  I called her early to make sure that it was ok for me to bring him with me and she was more than happy to have him around.

“This must be Tarik,” she said as we walked toward the counter.

Tarik smiled.  “Nice to meet you.”  It was strange to hear him being polite to someone because usually when we talk he’s rude and sarcastic. 

“
Solei’s told me a lot about you – all good things of course.  I’m really glad you came out to visit.”

He looked at me for a second and then back at her.  “Well, I’m only here a few days, but I may come back for longer next time.  It’s really nice here,” he lied.  I rolled my eyes discreetly.

Ruthann smiled sweetly and then stood from her seat.  “It works out nicely that you’ll have him around for company today and tomorrow, because I’ve got a lot of running to do in town.  Lou’s already waiting out back to take me and I probably won’t be back until close.”

“I’ll hold down the fort
‘til you get back,” I assured her.  I remembered the envelope in my hand and stopped her.  “Oh, I almost forgot.”  I passed it to her and waited until she opened it and had the same confused look on her face that I did when my father passed it to me. 

“What’s this for?”

“The car.  I’m interested in buying from you if you’re still looking to sell it.”  She didn’t answer right away – only stared at the check.  “If it’s not enough I can add on to it.”

She shook her head.  “No, that’s
not it.”  When she handed the envelope back I wasn’t sure what she was thinking.  “Since I know you’re interested, you can have it.  I couldn’t take your money.  It wouldn’t feel right.”

“But it’s yours and I…..”

“Solei, you’re like a daughter to me.  If you want the car it’s yours.  You don’t have to pay me anything.”  She patted my hand while smiling and walked to the back before I could say anything else – a few seconds later the rear door shut when she left with Lou.

“Dang!
  Everybody out here nice like that?”  Tarik inquired.

I nodded.  “Pretty much – with an exception or two,” I replied
bitterly.

“She seems cool.  My own momma wouldn’t just give me a car.  Shoot, I
gotta beg her now to let me use her ride.”

I smiled a little and shoved the check inside my
purse.  We both sat on the two stools behind the counter and stared outside.  “So is this all you do all day?”

I shrugged.  “Depends on how busy it gets or if there’s stock to put away.  Otherwise, yeah this is pretty much it.”

He sighed.  Before I knew it he had his phone out and started texting.  Again, I rolled my eyes and then put my head down on the counter.  An hour must’ve passed before I moved.  The sound of the door chiming startled me.  My heart sank when I looked up and saw that it was Elan who’d walked through the door.  As hard as I’d hoped and prayed that I wouldn’t have to see him today, here he was.  The usual broad smile that he wears was dim – possibly because he was still feeling a little unsure about us.  Could I blame him?  I was lucky that he even thought enough of me to stop in and visit.  I took a deep breath and did my best to be normal.

“Hey,” I said softly.

For a second his eyes drifted to Tarik and then back to me.  “Hey,” he finally responded.  Surprisingly to me, it was good to see him.  Somehow, the things I was concerned about started fading away.  At first I was apprehensive at the mere thought of being in his arms, but now all of a sudden…..that was all I wanted.  Before I could talk myself out of it, I quickly got up from my seat and hurried around the counter and nearly knocked him over.  He didn’t hesitate to hug me back like I thought he might.  Instead, he seemed relieved by the gesture.  I didn’t want to let him go –
couldn’t
let him go.  The warmth of his arms around me felt too right. 

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed.  I know he thought I was apologizing for shutting him out the day before…….but I had so much more to be sorry for than that.  I felt so stupid for messing up.  There was no way that I should’ve let Jolon come in between us.  How could I have risked it all for him?  Instinctively, Elan tig
htened his grip around me.  When I finally let him go, I felt more resolute about my feelings for him…..soon, I’d be ready to tell him that I loved him too.

Emotion had taken over me when he walked in, causing me to completely forget about Tarik.  I
smiled up at Elan and then turned to introduce him.  “This is Tarik.  You remember me telling you about him, don’t you?”

Elan nodded and then walked to shake Tarik’s hand.  “Nice to meet you, man,” Tarik said and then looked back down at his phone. 

“Yeah, you too,” Elan replied and then turned back to me.  I closed my eyes when he leaned down and kissed my forehead.  If I could’ve, I would’ve taken off work just to spend the day with him, but with Ruthann gone, that wasn’t gonna happen. 

“I wanted to pick you up when you got off, but I didn’t realize that you had company,” Elan said quietly.

I tried to hide my disappointment to keep from hurting Tarik’s feelings – not that he was actually paying attention or anything.  “Yeah, he’ll be here a couple days and then I’m riding back home for a few days with him and my dad when they leave.”

Elan apparently didn’t like that part of the story.  “You’re leaving?  When’d you decide that?”

“
I
didn’t decide anything – we have my dad to thank for that.  I’m fine here, but he insists that I go back with him this time.”

My explanation did nothing to soothe Elan’s mind.  “That sucks.”

I nodded in agreement.  “Tell me about it.”

“Well, we have to hang out before you go.  I’m sure your friend won’t miss you if I steal you away for a few hours tomorrow night, will he?”

I smiled.  “He’ll survive.”  Elan kissed me one last time.

“I’d better get out of here.  Jo’s in the truck waiting for me so we can get started on this job.”  He sighed.  “I don’t know what it is, but he’s been a bear to deal with these past two days.  I keep trying to get him to talk, but that’s like trying to
stop the sun from setting.”  Elan shrugged.  “Whatever it is, he’ll get over it eventually I guess.”

I felt a sharp pain in my chest.  Why’d he have to bring Jolon up?  Instantly, my mind began to create possible reasons why he was upset.  Was it because he still felt guilty?  Was it because he was having a hard time with me and Elan’s relationship?  Maybe he was just upset with himself for the other night.  Or perhaps he was struggling with something else.  I shook my head and tossed the thoughts out of my mind.  It didn’t matter what he was going through – I couldn’t afford to care. 

Just as Elan leaned in to hug me before leaving, I glanced over at the truck in the parking lot and saw Jolon’s silhouette through the back window.  In the side mirror, I could see his eyes burning a hole through Elan and me as we hugged and kissed one last time, causing him to turn away.  I’m not gonna lie – it did my heart good knowing that there was some way I could still hurt him like he’d hurt me.

“I’ll give you a call later,’ Elan promised and then walked back to the truck to deal with Jolon’s wrath.  I stood th
ere at the door and watched them pull off.

“You know you’re dead wrong, rig
ht?” Tarik said in a matter of fact sort of tone.

“What?”  I aske
d, turning to meet his gaze.

“Dude sitting in the car’s the one you hit, isn’t he?”

“What?”  I asked again – this time my voice taking on a shrill tone.

Tarik rolled his eyes.  “I heard your boy say dude’s been
actin’ funny  - only thing is, he doesn’t know it’s cause of you, right?”  He shook his head.  “You foul for that, Solei.  They work together too?”  It was clear from his expression that he was disgusted.

“Dang, why were you eavesdropping?”
  I protested, ignoring that my offense far outweighed his.  But right now I couldn’t talk about that so the next best thing was to redirect attention to Tarik.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping – I just overheard.”  He smiled a wicked smile that I didn’t like at all.  “But I’m right,
ain’t I?”

I sighed and returned to my seat beside him. 
“Maybe.”

“Which means yes,” he amended.  “I knew it!”

“Congratulations!”  I yelled.  “Do you feel better now?”  I rolled my eyes.  “You know you suck as a best friend, right?  I mess up and you gloat about it.”

I sa
t there picking at my nails – mad, frustrated, and embarrassed all at the same time.  Beside me, Tarik exhaled and then set his phone on the counter.  “Look, I’m not gloating.  I just…..I’m just a little surprised is all.  This ain’t like you.”  He thought about it.  “
None
of this is like you – holding down a job, being responsible, shoot your dad even trusts you now.”

He smiled a little and eventually so did
I.  “So, you’d rather that I stayed the same?”

“
Naw, I’m not saying that…..Most of the changes are good.  But this thing with your dude is confusing me.  You went all crazy-white-girl on Vince for cheating and here you are doing the same thing.  That’s all I’m saying.  It don’t add up.”

He was right; it
didn’t
add up.  I’d become a completely different person than I was when I left home which would be fine if it hadn’t been for this one indiscretion of mine.  “I know, I know.  But what am I supposed to do?”

“What made you do it?”  Tarik asked, catching me off guard with his forthrightness.

I shrugged.  “Not sure.”

“Did you initiate
or did his boy come on to
you
?”

In my head I could hear the th
under booming, smell the rain, and even feel Jolon’s touch – just like it was happening all over again.  “No, he did,” I breathed

“Were
you drunk or something?  If your judgment was clouded that changes everything.”

I laughed a little.  “I wish I had an excuse, but no.  I wasn’t.  I knew exactly what I was doing and still went through with it.”

“Well, did you and his boy kick it before you and Elan hooked up?  That should be factored in too.”

“Nope.”
  Again, I had no defense.  “Tarik, I
wanted
to do it.  I’m not gonna sit here and lie to you.  It was stupid and reckless all the same…..but I wanted it to happen just like he did.  There’s nothing I can say to make this sound any better.”

He was silent while he thought.  I appreciated his efforts to make me
out to be a better person than I was, but there was nothing that could be said to fix it up.  From the corner of my eye, I could see him turn toward me.  His expression was inquisitive as he thought of another question to ask.

“Do you love him?”  There was silence between us for a while.  Neither of us moved.

“Well, he told
me
, but I haven’t said it back yet.  We haven’t been together long, so I don’t wanna rush things.”

“No, not your man – I’m talking about this other dude.  Do you love
him
?”

Wow….didn’t see that one coming.  Tarik had just asked the million dollar question
; do I love Jolon.  I knew the answer, but did I really want to tell him that?  I looked at him as he stared at me waiting for a response.  “Yes….I love him.”

He didn’t look surprised by my answer. 
“Then why you with Elan then?  Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell him straight up that you love this other guy?”  He shrugged nonchalantly.  “I mean I know that’s his boy and all, but we get over that stuff easier than ya’ll women do.  They’ll be beefed out for a minute, but in a week or two they’ll be alright.”

Normally, Tarik’s logic
would make sense……but under these special circumstances, I had a feeling that things would be a bit more complicated than that.  At that moment, I decided to be real and come clean.  “It’s not that easy,” I explained.