Red Sun (13 page)

             
“I do now,” I replied.

             
He laughed.  “We’ll just leave it at that.  Don’t worry about the rest.”  His smile faded as he stared into my eyes.  This is crazy.  I could feel a connection with them both at the same time and I’d never had that happen before.  Although I just shared…..whatever that was with Jolon, here I am with Elan.  His confession was his way of explaining why he may have come across as territorial when he saw me in the water with his brother.  Pretty much, he let me know about his feelings because he didn’t want me to get so close to Jolon……but at this point, I couldn’t make any promises; to either one of them.

             
That night at home, I lay across my bed thinking about everything.  My brain and body both were experiencing system overload.  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw them both.  Elan was sweet and funny and easy to talk to.  Jolon was the strong, silent type, subtle and bruiting; a
real
man.  The both of them were sexier than I could ever begin to put to words without them even having to try very hard.  I smiled to myself as I pictured them in my head again.  My mind shifted to Jolon.  What was he thinking right now?  Had I imagined the moment we had?  Did I misinterpret everything?  It’s possible.  Or maybe it
did
happen just the way I’m thinking it did.  Then I thought of Elan’s beautiful smile and deep dimples.  The more I went back and forth between the two, the more positive I became that I was feeling them both.  What is a girl to do?

Chapter Five

              Despite my best efforts to sleep in and enjoy my day off, I was wide awake by 7:15.  My dad was already gone so I paced back and forth listening to the quiet while I thought of what I’d do for the day. Not having a car complicated things a little, but I was sure I’d think of something.  While I figured it out, I decided to take a shower so that would at least be out of the way. 

             
I sat on the edge of the tub to adjust the water temperature.  As soon as the cool wetness touched my fingers, it immediately triggered a memory of Jolon and me in the water the night before.  I could see him as if he were standing right in front of me.  In my mind, I was still in the water with him, running my fingers over the tattoo on his back, his hands touching any part of me he could reach, tempting me and making me want him more than I already did.  My eyes rolled back in my head as I breathed heavily and began to get carried away.  It wasn’t until the water became blistering hot that I pulled away and snapped back to reality. 

             
“Shoot!”  I yelled, shaking my hand wildly.  When the sting finally ceased, I had to laugh at myself.  So now was I gonna think about him every time I touched water?  This infatuation was gonna be the death of me.  Eventually, one of them would have my mind so gone that I’d walk right off the edge of a cliff and wouldn’t even realize it, probably smiling right up until I hit the ground.

             
Before I could fantasize about him again, I quickly got in, got dressed and sat on the edge of my bed.  I worked pretty much every day except for Sundays since I’d been here, so now I had no clue what to do with my free Saturday.  I’d become accustomed to chatting with Ruthann all day in between helping customers, putting out stock, and cleaning up.  She kept me from being lonely here in the middle of nowhere.  I sighed and looked around.  It didn’t make sense to sit here all day doing nothing, so I grabbed my shoes and decided to walk to the shop to sit with her, maybe even help her out off the clock if she needed me.  Who’d have thought that I, the queen of laziness and entitlement, would ever be going to work on her day off?  There was actually a little pep in my step when I locked the door behind me and set out on the long walk down the dirt road on my journey to the Reservation.  Lucky for me it was much cooler than it had been the past few weeks, so I wouldn’t be sweating like a pig by the time I made it to Ruthann’s. 

             
Conway was starting to grow on me.  It was a less exciting, barren version of home, but there were definitely things about it that I was starting to like.  It was nice not hearing cars passing continuously throughout the night when I left my window open.  The smell that I initially thought of as strange and offensive was nothing but the smell of fresh air.  And the people here are incredible; not a single one of them had a mean bone in their body and I felt lucky to have been accepted although I’m a newcomer. 

             
Alicia and Christina had barely crossed my mind since I’d arrived, not counting the few occasions that others inquired about my family life and I
had
to think about them.  I’m pretty sure Christina was pleased to have the whole room to herself, and Alicia was glad to only have to tend to her real child without me there.  That was fine.  They didn’t have to miss me because I for sure didn’t miss them.  My dad and me were making it just fine.  In fact, we were better than fine.  I don’t remember the last time the two of us laughed and joked together like we have since moving here.  There’s so much less tension without him and Alicia arguing all the time and without her riding my back like it’s her favorite pastime.  Thinking about it made me never want to go back there.  Ever.

             
I wondered if my dad felt the same way.  Was he happier here too or did he secretly wish that the two of them could work things out so he could go back home?  Is it selfish of me to hope that they didn’t because I hated living in her house, eating her food, and sharing a room with her daughter?  Of course it is, but I couldn’t help but to feel that way.  It’d been years since I moved in and I still felt like a guest there.  Alicia had made me feel like the thorn in her side since day one.  Her plan was never to marry my dad and have to deal with his wayward child moving in.  She thought she’d hit pay dirt when she found a stand in father for Christina who only had to see his own children every now and again when his ex-wife pushed him to do so.  You could see it in her face.  She never planned on having to be a full-time stepmom so she never has been one.  Yeah, she cooks for me and cleans up, but that’s because she was already doing those things for everybody else, so she just ended up taking care of me by default.  The extra money she slipped me on the side was just to make my dad believe that she cared more than she really did, but he was the only one she had fooled.  Can you blame me for bleeding her dry every chance I got?

             
The day I lost my mother and Shalon, I knew that the rest of my life would be a mess.  My mother’s shoes were too big for anyone to come along and even think about filling.  She made life easy even without my dad around on a full-time basis.  We never wanted for anything.  It had nothing to do with money; we had so much love that I didn’t even worry about having the latest and greatest all the time.  All I wanted was her. 

             
Down the road, I could see a cloud of dust kick up as a vehicle turned off the bridge and came toward me; the sun was making it hard to see any more than that.  I moved off to the shoulder to get out of the way because they were coming fast.  When it got close enough, I could see that it was the same gray truck that I see every morning at Ruthann’s, and I felt myself smiling before I even knew which one of the brothers was behind the wheel; it really didn’t matter, they both made my heart tremble.

             
“What’re you doing out here?  Trying to cause an accident?”  Elan asked, flashing his white teeth when he smiled. I blushed like crazy.  “Where’re you headed?”

             
“Ruthann’s,” I replied.  “I got bored at home so I was gonna go see what she was up to.”

             
“You’re off today then?”  He asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

             
I smiled and folded my arms over my chest.  “Yeah, why?” 

             
He raised his eyebrows and leaned over to open the passenger side door.  “Get in.”  His intentions were unclear to me, but I wanted to go with him anyway.  So, without a second thought, I abandoned my original plan and climbed up into his truck, slamming the door shut behind me.

             
Elan laughed a little.  “So, your life’s so dull that you were actually gonna go to work just to have something to do.”  He looked at me and then back at the road with a sarcastic expression.  “Nice.”

             
I rolled my eyes and smiled.  “Whatever.  I didn’t realize your life was the epitome of excitement.  So where’re
you
headed?  Got a tree to plant?  A ditch to dig?”

             
He burst out laughing.  “Ouch.”

             
“Then don’t make fun of me.”  I looked out the window trying not to smile as hard as he made me want to.

             
“Actually, I was gonna go pick up the big truck from the yard so I could go do this sod job across town.”  He looked me up and down.  “Buuuuuut now I have something better to do.”

             
This is me blushing yet again.  Elan took out his phone and dialed a number.  Someone picked up on the other end and he turned to face me while he spoke, holding my attention.  “Yeah, Will, its Elan.”  He paused.  “Listen, something came up so I won’t be by today, but be looking for me around seven tomorrow morning.”  He smiled.  “Alright, take it easy.” 

             
He hung up and then turned down another street, leading us further out of town.  The only streets I was familiar with were the ones I traveled every day, the ones that led me home, to the shop, or to Elan and Jolon’s.  This road was lined with trees just like the rest, so I’d forget it as soon as we made another turn.  Beside me, Elan stared straight ahead and I wondered where he was taking me.  What did he have planned?  Whatever it was, I’d enjoy it because I’d be with him.  My eyes wandered slowly over the details of his face, finding him and Jolon more similar than I’d realized before, maybe because this was the first chance I’d really gotten to watch him in the daylight without feeling self-conscious about getting caught.  My eyes followed his hand as it reached toward the radio and turned the music up.  He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat and I couldn’t turn away.  I liked everything about him and I was beginning to think that he liked everything about me too. 

             
We made one last sharp turn and then Elan turned the engine off.  I looked around at the old worn playground equipment set in sand and then at him skeptically. 

             
“It’s just a park I used to come to when I was a kid,” he replied, answering my unasked question.  “I still come down here sometimes when I wanna get away for a bit.”  He looked out the window at the kids playing and then opened his door.

             
I stepped out too, hoping that he wasn’t going to make me sit on the ground or anything.  Even as a child I never went to parks because of my issues.  So, as an adult, I definitely wasn’t making any exceptions.

             
“There’s a path in the woods,” he stated, motioning me toward it.  A walk was perfect on a day like this, not too hot, not too cold.

             
I stared at my feet as we made our way deeper and deeper into the trees.  It was nice being with him alone like this.  There weren’t any other people watching or listening, just me and him for the first time.  Elan was more quiet than usual.  I looked up at him a couple times to gage his mood, but he seemed fine, just deep in thought. 

             
I turned to look straight ahead when he reached over and pushed one of my braids behind my ear.  “How long did it take to get that done?”  He asked, referring to my hair.

             
I smiled.  “8 hours.”

             
He looked surprised.  “Wow.  All in one day?”

             
“It wasn’t so bad.”  I reached up and stroked his low cut.  “Maybe I should’ve gone with something more like this.”

             
Elan smiled.  “And you’d still be beautiful.”  He lifted a low hanging branch from in front of me and then continued.  “I got sick of people not being able to tell me and Jo apart, so I cut it off a couple years ago.”

             
“Yeah, I guess you guys do favor quite a bit.”

             
“The fact that there’s only a year between us doesn’t make it any better; it’s aggravating for people to always mistake you for your younger brother.” 

             
A few feet ahead, we came to a spot on the path where we found two rocks set back a little in the trees, perfect for resting on.  Elan sat close enough that our legs touched and neither of us seemed to mind; at least I know I didn’t. 

             
From the corner of my eye, I noticed him staring and followed his gaze to a large beetle that landed on the front of my tank top.  Just as I gasped, Elan swiped it away, accidentally grazing my chest in the process. 

             
We both knew it was an accident, but he still seemed a little embarrassed anyway.  “Sorry about that,” he said.

             
I shook my head.  “No, no, it’s cool.  Thanks for getting rid of it.  I don’t do nature.”

             
The corner of his mouth turned up and he looked at me.  “Well how unfortunate for nature.”

             
I rolled my eyes and looked away smiling.  “Don’t get cute with me, Elan.  I’m on to you, so save it.”

             
He laughed.  “What’s
that
mean?  You’re on to me,” he repeated.

             
“Yes, sir.  You’re one of those guys who gets in a girl’s head and then talks her out her panties.  I peeped game the other night.”

             
He laughed again.  “Wow, talk about making assumptions.  What makes you so sure I’m that guy?”  He leaned his head to the side and waited for me to answer.

             
I sighed.  “Well all guys are ‘that guy’ to an extent, but you’ve got a little something extra that you throw in the mix.  You go the friend route.”

             
There was amusement in his tone.  “Hmm….so you think you’ve got me all figured out, huh?”

             
“Oh, I knowwww I’ve got you all figured out.  You say and do all the right things to make a girl start feeling all weak around you and stuff.”  I was fighting back a smile.

             
Elan looked down at the ground.  “Does that mean that I make you weak too?”

             
I suppose I walked right into that one.  “That’s for me to know.”

             
“And me to find out,” he added.  Although I wasn’t looking his way, his intense stare could be felt. 

             
Suggestively, Elan asked, “So what’s that you were sayin’ about your panties?”

             
I felt my heart start beating faster.  “No, not
my
panties.  Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

             
He suppressed his laugh.  “But seriously, that’s how you see me?”

             
I thought before responding.  “Not quite the way you’re thinking I mean it.  I’m not saying you’re like a man-whore or anything like that, but I know you’ve probably had your fair share of girls sniffing behind you.”

             
“Probably not as many as you think,” he replied.

             
“Then enlighten me.”  I stretched my legs out in front of me and listened.

             
“I’ve had a few casual relationships here and there, but I’m more of a long-term kind of guy.  All that having one girl for Friday, one for Saturday and all that makes my head hurt honestly.  I’m simple.  Just let me find that one that’s there when I need her to be, that I don’t have to always try to impress, that needs me just as bad as I need her, and I’m good with that.”  Elan looked at me.  “So, when I’m committed to just that one girl, I don’t see anything wrong with whatever talking I have to do to get her out of her panties.”

             
I bit my bottom lip to keep from cheesing.  “Good answer.” 

             
Elan reached across my lap and unclasped my hands so that he could interlock his fingers with mine.  “Solei, I’m not trying to trick you into anything.  If this turns into something, I want it to be because you want it just as bad as I do.  Not because I happened to say the right thing on the right day and you happened to fall for it.”

             
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how a guy talks a girl out of her panties.  He had me blushing for like the tenth time today and I didn’t even care.  I was digging him more and more every time we talked.  I looked down at my hand in his and felt myself falling, not in love, but falling.  He leaned in a little and I felt my lips quiver in anticipation at the thought of him kissing me. I did my best not to over-think it.  To my surprise, Elan pressed his lips to my forehead and then to the back of the hand he was holding. 

             
“I was right about you,” I said, smiling a little.  “You definitely do and say all the right things.”  I paused and looked into his eyes.  “But you were right about me too.”
              He was carefully watching my expression when he asked, “Which part?” 

             
I shrugged.  “I don’t know, maybe you do make me a little weak.”

             
He nodded and smiled to himself as he thought about my response.  The sound of his phone ringing made me jump and made him frustrated.  Our conversation had to cease while he answered.  “Yeah.”  He paused.  “Where was the last place you saw it?”  He asked.  I could see it all over his face that he was getting upset.  “Be there in a minute.”

             
When he hung up, he let go of my hand and stood to his feet.  “Everything ok?”  I asked.

             
Elan nodded.  “Jolon lost his key to the excavator and needs me to bring him mine.”  He helped me up, took my hand again, and it felt natural,
very
natural.  “Wanna ride with me?”

             
There was a brief hesitation as I remembered how uncomfortable it was the last time the three of us were together, but I reluctantly replied, “Sure.”

             
We didn’t say much as we walked back to the truck, only thought about what could’ve happened if we hadn’t been interrupted.  Maybe he would’ve kissed me.  Maybe we would’ve divulged more about our feelings for one another.  But maybe Jolon’s interruption wasn’t a mistake.  What if the conversation with me and Elan was meant to end there because my feelings were still so up in the air about his brother too?  The more I thought about it, the more grateful I became for that phone call that slowed the course for me and Elan.

             
When he started the engine, it was clear that he was still not happy about having to take the keys to Jolon.  He shifted the gear into reverse and then sped out onto the street.  His eyes were focused on the road ahead and nothing else.  As I watched him, I wondered if everything he’d just said was true or if I’d just fallen victim to the very thing I’d accused him of?  I was really starting to like him….a lot, and I’d hate to have to key his truck like I did Vince. 

             
There was an old church up ahead and from a distance, I could make out Jolon’s figure while he worked out front.  The pickax in his hands swung at the ground with power and precision and I could imagine him grunting with every blow.  I could see the beads of sweat on his arms whenever the sunlight caught them as they hurled the pickax back toward the ground with fury.  He stopped, leaned the tool against his leg, and then pulled his shirt over his head to wipe his face just as Elan and I pulled up.  I was all in.  Before Elan noticed, I had to stop myself from staring and panting over his brother. 

             
“I’ll be right back,” Elan stated and then turned the truck off.  The door creaked a little as he opened it to step out and then slammed it shut behind him.  Jolon looked up from what he was doing and immediately noticed me sitting there.  I got a little queasy.  His expression fell blank with disbelief as he looked into my eyes and then finally at Elan.

             
I watched Jolon’s body language as he snatched the key Elan handed him and shoved it in his pocket.  At first they didn’t say anything to one another, only glared for a few seconds.  When Jolon turned to walk away, Elan reached for his arm to stop him. Through the open window, I heard him ask, “What’s your problem?”

             
Initially, Jolon looked in my direction briefly and then back at Elan.  “I thought you were supposed to be over at Will’s doing the sod.”  Jolon’s tone was accusatory which made Elan defensive.

             
“I already called and told him I’d be there tomorrow.  He said it was fine.”

             
Jolon’s nostrils flared and I felt like he was looking at me again even though his eyes were straight ahead, locked on Elan.  “So, hanging out is more important than making money?”  He asked.

             
Elan’s eyebrows pulled together as the tension in his forehead increased.  “As long as it gets done, it’s none of your business really.  I’m gonna get it done; that’s all that matters.”

             
“That’s
not
all that matters.  If you start slacking and missing appointments, that reflects badly on me too!  Remember?  This is a partnership, not a one man show,” Jolon replied.

             
I could tell that Elan was surprised by how upset Jolon was about something he considered to be small.  “Look, you just worry about doing your job and I’ll worry about doing mine,” Elan stated.  “If I decide to switch my schedule around then I will.”  He smiled, intentionally wanting to get under Jolon’s skin.  “But today, I’m hanging out with Solei.”

             
For a fraction of a second, Jolon’s nostrils flared and he allowed his frustration to be seen.  But then he wrangled it in and calmed himself.  He breathed in slowly and then released it.  “What do you think you’re doing?”  He asked.  “You don’t ever just miss work like this.”

             
Elan looked back at the truck and into my curious eyes and he couldn’t help but to smile a little.  When he turned back toward Jolon, he didn’t bother pretending like I wasn’t the reason for it.  “Yeah, well….”  He paused.  “Some things are more important than work.”

             
Jolon’s fists clenched and he stood there for a while.  They both did.  Elan wasn’t even irritated by the conversation anymore, which I think irritated Jolon even more.  When Elan walked back to the truck, Jolon’s eyes followed him the entire way.  I felt uncomfortable.  If anyone understands the importance of the bond between siblings, it’s me.  And I didn’t want to be the cause of the two of them falling out under any circumstances.  I didn’t even have to look back to see if Jolon was still watching us when we pulled off; I was already positive that he was.  Elan, on the other hand, seemed to be glad to finally let Jolon know that he wanted things to go further with us than just friendship. 

             
How did I feel about that, though?  Was I okay with Jolon thinking I was off limits or did I still want to leave my options open?  The difficult thing is, he hasn’t made the effort Elan has and I don’t believe in chasing a man.  While I’m sure he has some kind of feelings, what I’m not sure of is how deep they run.  There’s definitely a sexual interest that Jolon and I share for one another, but is that it?  For me, that’s not nearly enough.  Besides, I share that same interest with Elan.  He’s definitely hot and makes me think thoughts a woman should be ashamed to admit, so the scales were tipped in his direction because he’d gone the extra step to be real about his feelings.

             
We spent that entire day together, running small errands that he needed to do, taking me to see that there was a little more to Conway than dirt and trees, and at times just sitting in the truck talking and laughing together.  When afternoon began to turn into evening, I knew I needed to get home before my dad did.  So, Elan turned around and headed in that direction.  He pulled into my driveway for the first time, making a mental note of how to get to my house no doubt.  I found myself not wanting to leave him.  We had such a good time together that I didn’t want it to end just yet, but it had to or my dad would have a fit.