Red Sun (12 page)

             
“Then my clothes’ll be all wet and I hate that feeling.”

             
Jolon rolled his eyes.  The next thing I knew, he pulled his own shirt off and passed it to me.  “Got any more excuses?”

             
For the first time since my Freudian slip, I met his gaze.  I’m not sure if he meant for me to see it, but he looked hopeful that I’d say yes and go with him.  And I’m not sure, but I think I kind of wanted to.  A smile broke free and I stood from my chair slowly and followed behind him.  At the water’s edge, no one waited to check and see if it was cold.  They all just jumped in without a second thought.

             
“You gonna change?”  He asked, pointing at his shirt that was slung over my shoulder.

             
“No, I’m just gonna sit here and watch you guys.” 

             
He didn’t accept that.  “Would you just change already?” 

             
I looked around and then back up at him like he was crazy.  “Where?”

             
Jolon looked around at the thousands of trees surrounding us and spread his arms out.  “Take your pick.”

             
“You’re kidding?”

             
“Not unless you wanna walk all the way back up to the house by yourself.”

             
He folded his arms and I found it harder to tell him no than I realized.  “Fine, but…..go over there or something,” I insisted, motioning for him go toward the water.

             
Jolon rolled his eyes.  “Whatever, just hurry.”  As he paced away he mumbled, “It would’ve made us even though.”

             
I smiled and then disappeared behind the biggest tree I could find in close proximity to everyone else.  When I grabbed Jolon’s shirt, I hesitated.  Here I was getting ready to do something I totally despise for a guy that I’m not sure I can even be friends with.  It didn’t make sense.  Or did it?  I pulled my tank top off after looking around to see that no one was watching, and then my shorts too.  I twisted Jolon’s shirt around in my hands until I found the opening at the bottom and then raised it to my head.  Before pulling it on, I sniffed it, unsure of what I was expecting, but it smelled so good that I did it twice.  He didn’t wear cologne; didn’t have to.  This smell was natural, nothing but him.  I closed my eyes and went in for a third hit. 

             
Something was happening; something had changed.  Startled by this revelation, I forced my eyes open and shook my head denying it to myself as I pulled the shirt over my head. Me and my crazy imagination.  I’d better be careful or I was going to convince myself of something that could never be, not in a million years.

             
The last thing to take off was my bra; panties I could do without once I got back into my shorts, so I left those on beneath the oversized shirt.  I looked down at myself and felt totally inappropriate.  The other girls would think I was a whore if I went down there this way, so I slid my shorts back on until right before I was ready to get in the water.

             
Jolon stood at the river’s edge staring out at the moon’s reflection as it danced in the waves.  His hands were in his pockets as he stood there thinking.  About what, I’m unsure.  He heard my footsteps approaching from behind, causing him to turn my way and smile by accident when he saw me.  I felt self conscious when the breeze forced his shirt against my bare skin, which had just caressed his moments before.  It was almost like him touching me.  I felt exposed, naked, knowing that the material was so thin.  And the fact that he hadn’t said anything yet made me wonder if he was thinking about me in the way I think about him sometimes. 

             
“Ready?”  He asked, seemingly distracted.

             
“As I’ll ever be,” I replied and then reached to pull my shorts off.  To be courteous, Jolon turned away and waited.  When I finished, I walked toward him and looked at the water.

             
“Don’t tell me you’re scared,” he said jokingly.

             
“Then don’t ask.”

             
He smiled.  “I’ll help you in and then once it starts feeling like it’s too deep, you can get on my back,” he offered.  It was hard to imagine being that close to him.

             
I could only nod in response.  My right foot led the way as I stepped in and let myself get use to the water’s temperature.  Jolon waited patiently for me to go.  When I did, I immediately started having a panic attack and the water was only waist deep.

             
“Calm down!”  He said, trying not to laugh.  “You’re fine.  I’ve got you.”  Beneath the water, I felt his massive hands holding me and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

             
“I swear if you let me drown, I’m taking you with me,” I promised.

             
Ignoring my threat, Jolon slowly took me further in.  We were in up to his chest and my toes were barely touching the bottom anymore. Both of my hands were on his shoulders and the distance between us was starting to disappear.  A few more steps back and I was totally at Jolon’s mercy.  All I felt was water and the ground that I was depending on had left me.  In the distance, the others were still carrying on without us, but I honestly wouldn’t have cared where they were – all my focus was now on Jolon.

             
“You ok?”  He asked softly.

             
I couldn’t break my gaze when I nodded.  He took one hand from my waist and reached for my arm to pull me behind him and onto his back. I could feel my breathing go wild.  Jolon’s shirt that I wore was totally soaked and clinging to me beneath the cool water, so the heat of his body shocked my flesh when my chest pressed against him.  At first I hung there limply, not sure I should move because there was so much contact between us already that I was nervous to put my legs around him like I honestly needed to in order to feel safe.

             
Jolon cleared his throat and I felt his hands on my thighs as he lifted them to his sides and secured my feet in front of him.  Now all of me was all over him, my breasts, my panties, everything.  Subconsciously, I squeezed him between my legs.  Noticing, he looked over his shoulder at me and raised his eyebrows with a faint smile on his lips.  Being on him like this was creating an issue for me that I care not to mention.  The water didn’t feel so cold anymore.  Maybe my body had adapted to it, or maybe I was hotter than before. 

             
“If you get scared, just let me know,” he stated as he moved slowly through the water.  Jolon reached up and touched my fingers once lightly where they rested on his shoulder and then stopped when he became aware of what he’d done.  Whatever was going on between us was intense; I could tell that he was feeling it too.  It could be my imagination, but he seemed different.  I could feel it in the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, and now the way he touched me;
especially
the way he touched me. 

             
Whenever he moved, I could feel his body writhe and flex beneath me, causing me to clench him even tighter.  I had to stop denying it to myself; there was a new tension in the air.  This time it wasn’t hatred, it wasn’t anything like that…..it was sexual, strictly sexual.  I could hardly stop myself from thinking of him on top of me, behind me, underneath me, however he wanted it; it didn’t matter.  I leaned my forehead against the back of his head and closed my eyes, breathing him in.

             
“You alright?”  He asked.

             
“Fine,” I lied.  I was far from fine.  Jolon made me want him; want him in the way I wasn’t supposed to.  It didn’t help that I already knew what he was working with which was more than a little bit. Feeling like this about him was bad, real bad.

             
Jolon was staying in one place, treading water and I felt myself slipping a little.  When I gasped, he reached back and placed both hands on my butt to lift me a few inches as I wrapped my arms around his neck tighter, bringing my face closer to his.  Our cheeks touched briefly and I saw him look at me out the corner of his eye.  It looked like he was battling within himself too, trying not to give in to the same pressure that I was fighting against.  Does he know he’s turning me on?  What if he wanted me just as much as I wanted him right now?

             
“See it’s not so bad, is it?”  He asked, distracting me from my fantasy.

             
“No,” I breathed. “It’s nice actually.”  I could feel Jolon take a deep breath and I think he knew I wasn’t talking about the water.  His shoulders relaxed a little more and I tightened my legs around him, drawing his body closer to mine.  It surprised me to feel his hand on my knee when he rubbed it gently back and forth once, letting his fingers trail up my leg.  I closed my eyes and leaned into him even more.  Where did this come from?  Maybe it was here all along and neither of us knew how to express it before and that’s why it came out as hostility.  I couldn’t be sure.

             
Jolon’s body went rigid and he sighed heavily as our moment quickly ended.  “Elan’s waiting for you,” he said quietly, sounding frustrated as he called my attention to the distant figure off in the trees.  There, at the river’s edge, Elan stood.  Arms folded, feet apart, staring out across the water directly at Jolon and me.  It wasn’t until then that I even remembered that it was him I was here with.  I felt uncomfortable, like I’d been caught cheating which didn’t make sense because I didn’t belong to either one of them.  But still, it felt wrong.

             
Jolon began moving toward land where his brother waited.  The closer we got, the better I could see Elan’s expression…..and he was
not
happy.  His eyes were locked on Jolon who didn’t even seem to notice.  As soon as we reached the grass, Jolon set me down and I immediately started looking for my shorts to cover myself up.  On cue, Elan, who’d already found them before I’d even made it out the water, held them out for me to take, still not looking away from his brother.  I felt like I was standing in between two powerful storms on the verge of collision, right in the line of fire.  Now, Jolon was aware of Elan’s intimidating stare.  I felt like I had to intervene.  How much had he seen?  Was the connection between me and Jolon obvious?

             
“Took you long enough,” I blurted, trying to distract Elan, but he didn’t respond.

             
His nostrils flared and he still hadn’t looked away from Jolon.  If I’d had another way home, I would’ve left them there to duke it out or whatever they were gonna do.  I looked around and saw the rock I’d set the rest of my things on and headed that way.  Just in case I had to run for it, I wanted to be ready; I don’t do fights.  I hid partially behind a tree and finished changing, and when I came back I found that Jolon had left to go back to the house, and only Elan stayed behind to wait.  He was still furious, but with his brother gone, it subsided some.  I didn’t know what to say.  Seeing him so upset cleared up every uncertainty I’d had about tonight.  Elan had to have some sort of feelings for me or else he wouldn’t have been bothered to find me and Jolon together. 

             
I walked toward him where he sat alone in the grass looking out onto the water.  Hesitantly, I sat beside him, putting my hatred for bugs and dirt aside to make sure he was okay.  I didn’t quite feel like I owed him an explanation, because, like I said, it’s not like we had any type of commitment.  Actually, I hadn’t even heard it yet from his mouth that this was even a date; I had to come to that conclusion on my own.  So, I sat there silently staring at the water with him.  The others went back to the house one by one and soon Elan and I were alone.  After a few minutes passed of him not saying anything, I made the decision to go and let him have his space.  Maybe that would be best.  Ruthann’s house was only about a fifteen minute walk from here, so I’d just go there and ask her if I could use her car to take myself home.  When I stood and stretched, Elan looked up at me.

             
“Where’re you going?”

             
I closed my eyes and sighed.  “Home.”

             
“Why’re you leaving so soon?”  He asked, his tone much more mellow than I expected.

             
“Because it seems like you’re mad about something, so I figured I’d just get out of the way.”  I hugged myself and looked around.

             
“Just sit with me.  I’m not mad.”  He amended his statement.  “Not at you.”

             
He gave me a half smile and I hesitated before sitting beside him again.  In my peripheral, I could see him watching me.  “Then who’re you mad at?”  I asked, responding to his statement.

             
Elan shifted a little.  “I’m not mad at anyone.  That’s not what I meant.” It was clear that there was something he wanted to say to me when he took a deep breath and looked down at the grass.  “You already know I’m into you, right.”  Elan turned to face me and I did the same, smiling a little.