Pushing Reset (2 page)

Chapter 3

The familiar sound of keys tinkling in the living room caught Brandon’s attention and he drifted across the hall and leaned against the doorframe. Jude had a pencil gripped between his teeth as his hands drifted lightly over the piano’s keys, applying the lightest pressure. Brandon grinned. Jude was keeping the music soft while Noah napped. Brandon was tempted to tell Jude that Noah would probably sleep through it, they were all so used to the sound of Jude playing. Brandon’s lips pulled tight as he realized how much they took that for granted. The house was always filled with beautiful music and they were so used to it, they barely heard it half the time. Brandon’s eyes clung to Jude and it was as if he was seeing him for the first time since they were kids. The muscles of his forearms twisted and stretched as he played and the fine cashmere of his v-neck pulled tight, hugging the muscles of his back. Something shifted within Brandon’s chest and he frowned. He’d always known that Jude was attractive but suddenly, he was beautiful. Somehow, Jude’s beauty had been a static thing, like the music.

Jude pushed a hand through his hair before he plucked the pencil from his lips and Brandon’s eyes couldn’t leave them. He swallowed hard as his body tightened and his frown deepened.
What’s wrong with you? Jude’s always been good looking. Why are you suddenly shocked that he’s hot?
He shook his head softly.
Go rub one out. Clearly your head’s messed up,
Brandon scolded. He must have made a sound because Jude’s head swung toward him and his lips pulled into a soft grin and Brandon’s eyes flared as a soft flutter tickled his stomach.

“What’s going on?” Jude asked and Brandon shook his head.

“Nothing. That was nice,” he said as he stepped back. “I was passing by and it caught my attention. But don’t let me distract you.” Brandon tried not to focus on Jude’s lips as his smile grew.

“Thanks, it came to me while I was helping Noah with his homework last night and it’s been stuck in my head,” Jude explained and Brandon nodded.

“I like it. I can’t wait to hear it when it’s done.” He turned and a tremor of guilt passed through him as he realized he meant it, probably for the first time in a long time.

Chapter 4

“Are you ready for your spelling test?” Jude asked as he gestured for Noah to wipe the milk mustache over his lip. Noah narrowed his eyes as he wiped.

“I got this.” He gave Jude a determined nod and Jude winked at Noah and grinned. Brandon’s eyes lingered over Jude’s lips and the room suddenly felt too hot. Jude chuckled as he reached for his coffee.

“I have complete faith in you,” he announced before he took a sip and Brandon became mesmerized by the way Jude’s lips slid together before the tip of his tongue swept across his lips. Brandon cleared his throat and stared down at his plate. His appetite vanished as he prodded his eggs and prayed that Jude’s lips would be completely unremarkable when he looked back up. When Brandon’s eyes flicked back to Jude’s mouth his lips were pursed and Brandon swallowed a groan as he wondered if they looked like that before Jude kissed someone.
Definitely not me. Because that would never happen,
Brandon insisted before his eyes met Jude’s. They were searching as they studied Brandon.

“You ok?” Jude asked and Brandon nodded.

“I’m fine.”
Jesus. Why were you staring at his mouth?
He cleared his throat again as he struggled for an excuse. “Have you ever tried lip reading?” Brandon asked a bit too loudly and died a little on the inside as Jude’s eyes went to the ceiling before he shook his head.
That might have been the stupidest thing you’ve ever said,
Brandon decided as he speared a piece of melon and shoved it in his mouth before he could make an even bigger ass of himself. Jude looked a little thoughtful but mostly confused.

“No. I’ve never tried but I wouldn’t decide to start in the middle of a meal. I’d imagine that’s something for more advanced lip readers,” he offered and Brandon nodded in agreement.

“Right. I noticed that too. But it was just something that popped into my head, I’m not really trying to learn,” Brandon added and Jude shrugged.

“It might be a useful skill. You never know when you might want to eavesdrop on a conversation from across a room,” he suggested and Brandon shook his head.

“No. You know I have a hard enough time as it is, figuring out how I’m supposed to act and surviving the conversations I’m actually involved in. I don’t need to get involved in other people’s conversations,” Brandon said and Jude laughed as he sat back. Brandon clenched his jaw as his stomach fluttered and his balls tingled.
What the actual fuck is that?
He wondered as Jude took another sip and his lips taunted Brandon.

“One day, you’re going to realize that your nervous nerd routine is so money with the ladies,” Jude wiggled his brows at Noah and he giggled as he looked at Brandon. Jude rested his elbows on the table and jerked his head in Brandon’s direction. “The women already think he’s gorgeous and then he comes off as sweet and bashful, they practically throw themselves at him,” he explained and Noah nodded slowly. Jude winked at Brandon and it went straight to his cock. “Let that be a lesson, Noah. The girls will dig you way more if you act like you don’t want them to like you and you’re afraid to talk to them.” Jude said and Noah grinned.

“I don’t like them and I’m scared of them.” Noah quickly chewed through a piece of bacon and washed it down with a gulp of milk. He burped and Brandon was able to muster a disapproving look before Noah continued. “Got it. I just don’t know why I want them to dig me,” Noah said and Jude’s head fell back and he howled.

“We’ll talk about that in a few years,” Jude said as he gestured for Noah to finish his milk. “Looks like it’s time for you to go get ready,” he announced as he gestured toward the door and Noah groaned as his nanny walked in. Brandon waited until Noah hugged and kissed them both and trudged off before he looked back at Jude.

“I think we can probably hold off on the dating advice until Noah’s in middle school,” Brandon said and Jude shrugged as he looked over his coffee cup at Brandon.

“He’ll be there before we know it,” Jude said and Brandon snorted. Jude ignored it. “I might as well, it’s not like you’re going to know what to tell him.” He winked again and Brandon coughed as more warmth trickled into his groin and he reached for his coffee mug.

“Whatever,” Brandon mumbled as heat flooded his face.

Chapter 5

“Fuck. I’m so done with this,” Jude complained as he tossed the controller on the ottoman. “Why are we still playing
Call of Duty
?” He told himself he wasn’t pouting as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Brandon. Brandon chuckled and shrugged.

“Maybe you wouldn’t play like a little girl if you didn’t act like one,” he suggested and Jude snorted. His eyes went to Brandon’s hair and his lips twisted as he reached.

“Speaking of little girls,” Jude said as his fingers raked through Brandon’s hair and he jumped and leaned away.

“Knock it off,” he shivered and Jude laughed as he pushed Brandon over.

“I’m calling Stephanie and making you an appointment. You’re too old to pull this off,” Jude teased and Brandon jerked his head to get the hair out of his eyes. It hung around his nose and cheekbones and Jude was constantly tempted to brush it back. Brandon shrugged again and elbowed Jude away as he went back to the game.

“Whatever. You’re old,” he grumbled and Jude rolled his eyes as he reached for his controller.

“Sick burn,” Jude announced as he leaned forward.

Then, it was like Brandon fell apart, game-wise. He was dying all over the place. Jude glanced out of the corner of his eye and was about to say something to rub it in when Brandon dropped his controller and jumped to his feet.

“It’s getting late and I don’t feel like playing anymore,” he said as he scrubbed his hands down his face and Jude’s brows pulled together.

“It’s not even 10:00,” he pointed out and Brandon’s lips pulled tight as he turned and looked at the clock.

“I’ve had a long day,” Brandon murmured as he went to the bar and Jude laughed.

“Are you forgetting that I live here? You puttered around with your portfolio for a few hours and took a nap in your office. You didn’t even workout or go for a run,” Jude argued and Brandon gave him a hard look.

“Are you my fucking mom now?” Brandon asked and Jude shook his head as he got up. Brandon had been in an odd mood all evening. Jude was beginning to think it was better to let him call it a night.

“I think your manners would be a hell of lot better if I was,” Jude said as he poured himself a drink. “Fine. Go to bed early, grandpa. I’ll just change and spend my evening with someone who appreciates my company,” he announced and Brandon snorted.

“Like who?” Brandon asked and Jude pulled his phone from his pocket and waved it at Brandon.

“I haven’t met him yet but he’s just a few swipes away,” Jude sang. He would be willing to swear he saw Brandon’s face fall and become flushed before Brandon turned and rushed across the room. Jude frowned as he watched Brandon grab the remote and quickly switch to Netflix.

“Didn’t you say there was something you thought we had to watch?” Brandon asked as he started scrolling and Jude’s head tilted as he watched Brandon and tried to figure out why he was being so weird.

“I say that like once a day, you’re going to have to be more specific,” Jude went back to the sofa and Brandon’s posture became less tense when Jude sat.
Maybe he’s not in the mood to be alone,
Jude mused as he reclined. Brandon turned and held out the remote.

“I don’t care, pick something,” he said as he dropped onto the sofa. Jude took the remote but his gaze stayed on Brandon.

“Is everything alright?” He asked and Brandon nodded and gestured toward the TV.

“Fine. Why?” He asked as he watched the screen. Jude shrugged before he looked at the menu.

“You got really tense out of nowhere. One minute, you’re talking about going to bed and now you want to stay up and watch movies,” Jude explained and Brandon shook his head.

“I said I was done playing
Call Of Duty
and had a long day, I didn’t say I wanted to go to bed,” he stated as he sat back and crossed his arms. “Just pick something,” Brandon urged and Jude thought about picking something obnoxious just to spite him.

Chapter 6

“How about the loser goes to the parent/teacher conference tomorrow night?” Jude panted as he spun and Brandon groaned as he jumped and swatted the ball out of his hand. Jude cursed as he jogged after the ball and flung it at Brandon.

“You know I hate those. I never know what they’re talking about with all the stupid tests. You handle all the homework and school shit,” Brandon argued before he drove toward the basket behind Jude. Jude shook his head and braced himself.

“I always go and this new teacher doesn’t like me. Her RBF is strong,” Jude said before his shoulder slammed into Brandon’s chest. Brandon grunted as he fell back on his ass.

“What the fuck is RBF?” He asked as he reached for Jude’s hand. Jude pulled Brandon to his feet and the air caught in Brandon’s throat as their chests pressed against each other and Jude patted Brandon on the back. Brandon pulled in a deep breath and his jaw clenched as Jude’s scent flooded him. There was his usual peppery, fresh scent but it was mixed with the smell of his sweat and a hint of mint from his breath and for a moment, Brandon was light headed.

“You ok?” Jude asked as he grabbed Brandon’s shoulder. His eyes were concerned as they held Brandon’s and he waved dismissively before he bent and scooped up the ball.

“Fine,” Brandon lied as he dribbled. “RBF?” He asked as he bounced the ball between his legs and Jude chuckled as he wiped his face with the front of his shirt and Brandon’s mouth went dry as his eyes slid down Jude’s abs to where they disappeared beneath the waist of his shorts.

“Resting bitch face,” Jude announced and it took Brandon a second to figure out what he was talking about. His brows pulled together before he feinted to the right then went left.

“That’s a thing?” Brandon asked and Jude nodded as he followed and his hand swung and Brandon lost contact with the ball. Jude spun and aimed as he jumped and the ball flew in a smooth arc before it slipped through the hoop and Brandon cursed as he bent forward and rested his hands on his knees.

“It’s a lot like your face right now,” Jude said as he danced backward. Brandon jumped when Jude’s hand swatted his ass and a current of electricity shot through his body and warmth settled in his groin. “That’s game,” Jude announced as he pulled his shirt over his head. He wiped his face and the back of his neck and Brandon’s jaw fell as he stared at the sculpted muscles of Jude’s shoulder’s and chest as they twisted and flexed. “Hey,” Jude said before he tossed his shirt at Brandon’s face. Brandon snatched it out of the air just before it hit him and he blinked rapidly as he was once again overwhelmed by Jude’s scent. “You sure you’re ok?” Jude’s eyes narrowed as he watched Brandon.

“Yeah. I was just trying to figure out why Noah’s teacher doesn’t like you and I realized it’s probably because you’re a dick,” Brandon lied and Jude laughed.

“Ponder it tomorrow night while you’re at the school. I’m not saying I have a date but this dick is definitely getting laid.” He winked as he grabbed the bulge in the front of his shorts and skipped backwards toward the house.

Jude turned and waved over his shoulder as he pulled the door open and Brandon frowned as he watched the door slam behind Jude. Several minutes later Brandon looked down and his frown became severe when he saw that he was clutching Jude’s shirt to his chest. He looked back at the house and he ignored the violent churning of his stomach as he tried to un-hear Jude’s last statement.
Why the fuck do you care?
He shook his head as he strode toward the house.

“I don’t,” Brandon grumbled as he pulled the door open.

Chapter 7

At any moment, the sun would appear over the trees. Brandon stifled a yawn then squeezed his eyes shut. They were dry and felt like they were full of sand as he pressed his palms into them. Now, he was tired. He’d tossed and turned restlessly most of the night, trying not to picture Jude, hear his voice or remember his scent. He’d fallen asleep shortly after going to bed but he’d dreamt of Jude and woke up sweating, his body tense and his cock hard. And it wasn’t the first time. This time, they were playing basketball but instead of tossing his shirt at Brandon and jogging away, Jude tossed his shirt on the ground before he reached for Brandon and pulled him close. Jude’s lips had been teasing and curved in a lazy grin before they met Brandon’s. Then, they were soft and cool and tasted like mint. Brandon’s hands swept over Jude’s body, clinging and clutching greedily as Jude tore at Brandon’s clothes. Oddly, neither seemed concerned that it was late afternoon and they were outside, in full view of numerous windows.

When Brandon came awake with a start, he gasped when he realized his hand was firmly gripping his erection. He couldn’t have released it faster if it had been on fire. He swallowed past the hard lump in his throat and shook his head. He didn’t know what was happening to him but the last thing he was going to do was jerk off while thinking about Jude. Whatever it was, getting off while picturing him stripping off his clothes in the middle of a basketball game wasn’t going to make it less confusing.

So, Brandon spent hours thinking of anything other than Jude or what they’d been about to do in his dream. It was exhausting. His brain kept returning to the dream or he would picture Jude, just back from a run or chasing Noah on the beach in a wet pair of swim trunks.

Brandon couldn’t get his mind around any of it. Why was he finally having wet dreams, at the age of thirty-two? As a teenager, Brandon had been so nervous and uncomfortable around people of all ages and genders, he didn’t want to socialize with anyone much less flirt or make out. Aside from Jude, Brandon was content to sit in his room alone and work on his programs. He’d been so focused on building NinjaGeek, sex was the last thing on his mind through high school and college. Then, Emma happened and for a while, it had been a relief, checking off a box on his grown-up To Do List. Sex had been terrifying in the beginning and eventually morphed into something Brandon did occasionally with Emma because he was afraid of losing her.

Brandon sighed as he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. If he was honest, the sex probably made her even more depressed. She was always as still and silent as possible and the last time he’d gone to her, Brandon heard her crying afterword. A cold sweat burst from Brandon’s skin and his stomach felt sour just remembering how
wrong
it all felt. Would he feel the same if he tried it with a man? He’d never felt any interest in men prior to his sudden and overwhelming fixation with Jude.

Am I gay?
Brandon wondered as he tried to imagine any of the other men he knew half naked and pressing their body against Brandon’s. He imagined his accountant and one of his lawyers but nothing happened. Then again, he’d never seen either of them shirtless or in wet trunks or felt their body pressed against his. He’d seen one of the landscapers shirtless more than a few times but had never felt anything.
What do I do about this?
He stared at the sun for several moments as he considered. The idea of trying to meet someone for the sort of random hook-up that Jude favored made Brandon’s stomach clench. The anxiety would be crippling and he’d be humiliated by how inexperienced and clueless he was. Brandon’s eyes flared as he registered the lack of discomfort he felt over the matter in general. He shook his head as he got up. It was probably due to him being more mature than when he first contemplated sex with women. Also, he was probably a little desensitized from living with Jude. When it was just the two of them, Jude had no qualms about sharing tales of his conquests or his plans for his latest target.

By the time Brandon was showered and dressed, he hadn’t made any progress. The only thing he was certain of was that he needed to get his mind off of Jude. If Brandon was a gay late bloomer, he didn’t need anyone to tell him that hooking up with his best friend was absolutely out of the question. They already had a deep, emotional bond, sex would just confuse that and possibly damage their friendship.