Pulled (20 page)

“Don’t let him bother you, sweetheart.”

“I knew he was going to be so disappointed.” I
shook my head, wishing I had listened to Daniel when
he’d insisted we tell him. “I’m not ashamed, Mom.” I
looked at her, needing her to understand I would never
regret Eva.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” She patted my arm,
soothing my nerves from the non-confrontation with my
dad.

“Did you get here in time?”

She smiled, wistful.

“She was so beautiful.” Mom seemed to be lost
in her thoughts before she spoke again. “You’re so
young.” I started to protest, but she stopped me, shaking
her head. “No, let me say this. You’re young, but you don’t
love as if you are.” She swallowed. “You would have been
the best mom.” She wiped her tears with the back of her
hand, sighing as she looked away. “I just wanted you to
know that I truly believe that, for whatever it’s worth.”
It was worth everything.

Daniel came back. He opened the door, looking
between Mom and me.

I smiled, and he came into the room and sat
across from Mom. The tension between them was thick,
and it was clear that the forgiveness she had shown me
did not extend to Daniel.

I knew my parents would see it as if Daniel had
taken advantage of their little girl. It sickened me that
anyone could even begin to think of him that way, but I
had to be patient. Eventually they would realize how much
he really did care about me. Time would just have to
prove that.

The rest of the evening people filtered in and
out. Nurses came and went, Mom left to get coffee at least
ten times, and Erin and Julia ran back and forth to get
people whatever they needed. Patrick continually
checked to be sure I was being well taken care of while
Dad stared at me from across the room. Daniel—he
never left my side. He was so exhausted, yet he stayed. I
could never love him more than I did right then.

When night fell, everybody left but Daniel, who
attempted to sleep in the chair beside me. I asked him to
go with his parents and get a good night’s sleep. Of
course, he refused. I really never believed he’d leave, but
I had to at least try. We both slept restlessly. How people
ever expected to “rest and get well” in a hospital I’d never
know. Nurses came in and out at least five times during
the night, poking and prodding me. I was convinced if
they’d just let me sleep I’d be well in half the time. Daniel
and I gave up when the first rays of light came through the
window. Neither of us felt any better than we had the night
before.

“Are you up for any more visitors?” Erin popped
her head through the door, her eyes glistening. Daniel
and I welcomed her in. She hugged me, and then
wrapped her arms around Daniel.

Erin convinced Daniel to take a shower and get
something to eat. He looked to me, and I could see how
hesitant he was to leave.

My chest constricted at the thought of him
walking out the door, an irrational fear taking hold. I
wanted to beg him to stay, but I forced myself to assure
him I would be fine. I was going to have to get over that.

After what had happened, I didn’t think I’d ever want to be
away from him again, but I knew I still had to go back
home to Colorado Springs. I still had two months of
school left.

Erin settled in beside me and took my hand.

“Hey, sister.” She smiled sweetly at me. I smiled back. I
loved when she called me that. “How are you, really? And
don’t give me any of that bullshit that you’re fine either.”
I chuckled, thankful that she always forced me to
be honest with her. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I really can’t say, Erin. I mean, I can’t even begin
to describe the heartbreak I feel over her. It’s like this huge
piece of me is missing, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop
feeling that way. But when Daniel’s nearby, I know
everything is going to be all right.” She nodded in
understanding.

“Erin, what happened? I can’t ask Daniel
because he blames himself.”

She took a deep breath. “Yeah, I know. He really
does, Melanie. I don’t know if he’ll ever stop, but there was
nothing he could have done. The guy hit you, not the
other way around.” She shook her head and picked at her
fingernails before looking back to me. “They charged him
with manslaughter this morning. He’d been drinking—all
night—and was on his way back to Denver. Apparently, he
fell asleep at the wheel. His blood alcohol level was more
than double the limit.” She paused to give me time to
absorb what she’d said.

Never had I felt so much anger, but I pushed it
aside. I knew that would be something I would have to deal
with over time, forgiving someone I didn’t even know. For
now, her news was too much for my broken heart to deal
with.

“What about my parents?” Daniel told me
everything was fine, even when I knew it wasn’t.

“Well, I think your mom is okay. She was really
upset when she first got here and got into it with Mom. She
hadn’t slept all night on her way here. When she came in
and saw you in this bed, I think she just...snapped. She
didn’t really talk to anyone that first day, but once she
saw…Eva,” she said, hesitating on Eva’s name as tears
filled her eyes. “Oh, Melanie, that little girl could soften
anyone’s heart. Peggy apologized to Mom, and now
they’re totally fine. She hasn’t really spoken much to
Daniel, but she stayed beside him that whole morning
after Eva passed. She’s hurt, Melanie, but she loves you
and is willing to forgive you.”

“And Dad?”

Anger flashed across her face.

“Erin, what did he do?”

She finally spoke. “He, uh...hit Daniel.”

“What?” I yelled.

“Melanie, he really messed Daniel up. He broke
open all the stitches on his face.” She groaned, putting
her hands over her face. “I don’t want to feel so angry at
your dad, but how could he do that after everything you
guys had been through? And now, he just hovers outside
your door, not saying anything to anyone. It’s kinda
creepy.”

He did exactly what I’d feared he’d do all these
months. He’d hurt Daniel. If I could, I would have taken
any punishment to prevent this, but I knew Daniel would
always be the bad guy in my dad’s eyes no matter what he
did.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Erin asked,
ringing her hands together. “Are we cancelling the
wedding?”

Right. I was supposed to get married in three
weeks. All of my insecurities were back. Would Daniel still
want me to be his wife? I wanted it more than anything.

Tears started to stream down my face.

“Melanie?” Erin leaned in closer, my hand still in
hers. “You don’t have to, you know. We can wait until
you’ve healed.”

“No, it’s not that, Erin.”

“Then what? Do you blame him?” The hurt on
her face told me she had been fearful I would.

“No! Never, Erin.” Relief swept over her face
before confusion took its place.

“But?”

“Erin,” I spoke barely above a whisper. “What if
he doesn’t want me anymore? I can’t give him a family.”
I felt ashamed—I wasn’t whole—and Daniel
deserved someone who was. He told me he wanted me,
but what about in five years? Or ten? Would he still feel
the same when he realized he would never have a normal
life with me?

“Melanie,” her voice was stern and took me by
surprise. “Are you insane? That man loves you more than
anything. He can’t even look at another woman. What
could possibly make you think that?”

Even though I knew she was right, I couldn’t help
it. I felt like I was no longer good enough for him.

“I just want him to have everything, Erin,
everything he’s ever wanted.”

“You realize that’s you, right?”

My heart did know that. Now I just had to
convince my stupid head of it.

“Yeah, Erin. I know. I think we should wait though,
maybe until summer.” Daniel at least deserved that time. I
forced a bright smile to wash the disappointment from her
face. “You know, I’d like to actually be able to walk down
the aisle to marry your brother.” As I gestured to my leg,
we laughed, dispelling the tension in the room. And for the
first time, I felt real hope for the future.

I spent the rest of the day figuring out what to do
from there. I’d privately asked Patrick if I could come and
stay with them while I finished school. There was no way I
could be in the same house with my father.

Patrick seemed thrilled and said he’d been
thinking the same thing. Daniel’s face glowed when I told
him of the plans.

I dreaded being separated from Daniel. I really
just wanted to go back to Boulder with him, but I was going
to need care he couldn’t provide if he was in school. I knew
he’d take the rest of the semester off in a heartbeat, and
there was no way I could allow that.

Mom fretted over me, trying to make up for the
time we’d been apart. I loved her even more for it. It made
me sad that Julia seemed to feel she had to step back.

She was a mother to me too, and I wanted them both. I
didn’t want one to replace the other.

The day came and went. Daniel gave up trying to
sleep on the chair and snuggled beside me on the bed
instead. The nurses were not happy about it. It was, of
course, against the rules, but it was the only way either of
us could sleep. Friday morning I actually felt rested, and I
could tell by the look on Daniel’s face he did too.

Today I had to tell Mom my plans. I figured it was
going to be a fight, but I was tired of trying to hide things
from her. She was cleaning up my area after lunch.

“Hey, Mom?”

She stopped. “What is it, sweetie?”

I was so nervous, I could feel the sweat on my
palms, but it was time I grew up and told my parents what I
wanted from my life. “I, uh, wanted to let you know I’m not
going back to Dad’s. I’m going to stay with Patrick and
Julia until I finish school. It just makes sense. Patrick will
be able to monitor my therapy, and Erin can bring me my
school work until I can actually go back to class.”
She seemed disappointed.

“Honey, I thought maybe you’d come home with
me.”

I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had,
but I couldn’t go with her. That wasn’t my home anymore.

“Mom, I can’t. I love him.”

She needed to understand my home was with
Daniel now. She was quiet as she stared at her feet before
looking up at me, grimacing. She pushed a lock of hair
from my face. “Honey, I think you and Daniel should take
some time away from each other.”

“What?” I looked at her in confusion and hurt.

She sighed and seemed to struggle with what to
say. “It’s just...it might be the right time for the two of you to
take some time to decide what you want to do with your
lives. You both moved so quickly in this relationship, and
I think it would be wise for you to take a step back.”
I shook my head. “Daniel is what I want.”

“But are you sure this is what he wants, Melanie?

He’s an eighteen-year-old boy. Can you be certain he’s
ready to decide who he wants to spend the rest of his life
with?” Her face was sympathetic but her words stung.

“Yes,” flew from my mouth though her words
brought questions—doubt. I pushed them aside and
reiterated, “Yes.”