I glanced back up to see Daniel watching me with his hands in his pockets, defeat in his eyes. I mouthed a silent
bye
to him as Nicholas slid into the driver’s side and pul ed away. I almost missed the words
my love
form on Daniel’s lips. My heart broke al over again as I watched him in the side mirror, and he disappeared from sight.
The silence was thick as Nicholas sped through the streets. His knuckles strained against the steering wheel, his chin taut and teeth clenched. He did not utter a word in the twenty-five minutes it took us to get back to the house.
He pul ed into the garage and climbed from the car. Fear ran up my spine. I’d never been afraid of him before, but the look on his face told me it was time to start.
He said nothing as he opened my door, waiting for me to get out. The only sound was that of my heels clicking on the concrete floor as he fol owed me into the house.
“You fucking whore.” The words were control ed and menacing, making me stop mid-stride, and I slowly turned to him. He stared at me, and I felt the threat in his eyes. I didn’t back down. I was done. I would no longer al ow him this control over me. My face must have told him that very thing, because I heard the crack before I felt the sting on my face.
The asshole hit me!
I couldn’t tel if I was angrier about that or the fact that I could no longer feel the warmth Daniel had left on my skin; the throbbing from the back of Nicholas’s hand replaced it. My hand went to my face, my hate growing with each rise and fal of my chest.
“Melanie,” Nicholas said, his words dripping with venom. With a sneer, he brought his face close to mine.
“You’re very lucky that guy was as fucked up as you are, otherwise I would beat the shit out of you right now.” He meticulously unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt and rol ed them up his arms, quiet fury on his face as he waited for me to succumb. That was not going to happen.
I leaned in close to him, exhaling into his face. I felt the words form, knowing my response would change everything.
“Fuck you,” I said, the words slowly sliding through my lips. He froze, his shock evident, and I turned and left him standing in the foyer. I was through being his possession.
I went upstairs and got a pair of pajamas. When I got back downstairs, Nicholas stil stood in the same spot. I didn’t acknowledge him as I retired to the guest bedroom.
There was no way I would lay next to that man.
As sleep neared, I could feel myself racing toward the usual dreams of love and loss. But tonight, I could also
feel something new. It was the same feeling I couldn’t quite put my finger on earlier in the day.
Hope.
Yes, change was coming.
I jolted upright, unaware of where I was while the events of last night slowly came back to me.
Daniel.
I smiled as I looked around the guest room, running my hands over the soft sheets, remembering the dreams I had had of him last night. It was the best sleep I’d had in years. Even though he wasn’t lying there beside me, his presence was never far.
I heard a distant rapping on the front door, my phone buzzing at the same time.
I glanced to the clock.
“Nine thirty-four?” I mumbled to myself.
I couldn’t believe I’d slept the morning away.
Nicholas would have left for the office hours ago. Never in nine years had I not gotten up to make him breakfast. I was stil shocked that I’d final y stood up to him and refused him that control I’d so wil ingly given.
I felt so—free.
My phone buzzed again, and I grabbed it, seeing seven missed texts from Katie. The last demanded that I hurry up and open the front door. Grinning, I got up and padded barefoot across the tile floor, anxious to see my friend. I wasn’t sure what would have happened had she not been there last night.
I looked through the peephole before twisting the lock and opening the door. “Katie!” I threw myself into her arms as she stood in my entryway.
She was the only one who understood, and right now, I had never been more confused in my entire life. My heart was soaring with the palpable love I had felt from Daniel last night. It final y beat with true life, my dead soul resuscitated by his mere touch. At the same time, my chest had been torn open, old wounds gaping with fresh memories of our lost love, thoughts of what could have been—what should have been—and now what would never be. But he loved me. I knew I could go on, knowing that. The thought of him crawling into bed next to another woman nearly kil ed me, but I could accept it, and I would never attempt to come between him and his family.
She had his body, but I had his soul.
“I thought you were going to need me today.” Katie hugged me, rubbing my back as I buried my face on her shoulder.
She pul ed back to look at my face, an audible
“hiss” coming from her lips. “That bastard.” Her hand came up to my chin, tilting my head her direction.
I reached to touch my cheek, wincing at the slight soreness. I turned to the mirror on the wal , seeing the purple bruise that marked my cheekbone. I ran my fingers across it, the sight of it stirring my hatred once again.
Katie stood behind me, concern on her face. “Are you okay?” I could see she was trying to control herself, but there was rage brewing in her.
I shook my head as I turned to her. “This,” I said, gesturing to the bruise, “is as far as the asshole got.” I felt sick to my stomach as I recal ed the look on his face last night as he had tried to put me in my place.
“I can’t believe he actual y hit me, Katie, after al these years of playing this part he wrote for me, fitting it perfectly. I’ve hated myself for so long. I’d al owed him to treat me like garbage because I didn’t feel like I was worth anything.” I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to keep the tears from coming.
“I don’t know what came over me. I was just done.
I final y stood up for myself, Katie. I slept in the guestroom last night.” A smal smile came crept over my face as I waited for her reaction.
She stared at me for a few moments before she rasped out, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Katie. You don’t know what it means to me that you’re here, that you knew I’d need you.” Her serious expression changed, replaced by her signature smirk. “Did you real y think I’d miss getting the scoop on what the hel was going on last night? You know me better than that.”
I laughed, and shook my head at her.
“Come on,” she nodded her head in the direction of the family room. “Go sit down, I’l make us some coffee.
We need to talk.”
She turned, walking toward the kitchen, and I headed to the family room. Goose bumps popped up over my arms when I walked by the window. I could feel Daniel everywhere, the energy now a constant reminder of just how near he was.
Minutes later Katie came into the room, carrying two coffee cups. She handed one to me before settling onto the couch and drawing one leg up under her to face me. My back was propped against the armrest, my legs drawn to my chest. I brought the cup up to my lips, taking the first sip. I felt the warmth travel down my throat and into my bel y. I relaxed as I mul ed over the events of the last twenty-four hours. It was almost as if it had al been a dream.
Katie brought her cup to her lips, looking for the right words. She looked me in the eyes, shaking her head.
“I almost can’t believe it, this whole
fate
thing you’ve always talked about with Daniel as if there were something magical between the two of you.” She inhaled deeply, scrunching up her nose. “I never believed in stuff like that, but first the necklace and now last night…,” she said, trailing off and waving her hand in the air as if she were trying to dismiss the whole concept.
“I know, Katie. The whole idea seems so cheesy or cliché, but there was always more to us than normal. Erin cal ed us soul mates, but now...it’s like it’s even more than that.” I was almost embarrassed to describe it, but I needed Katie to understand. “It’s like we share the
same
soul, and when we’re apart, each half is looking for the other.” I was certain Katie would think I’d lost my mind, but it was the truth.
“I miss him so much. Seeing him with that woman
—it just tore me apart,” I swal owed the lump in my throat as I croaked out the words. “But he loves me. He loves me just as much as I love him. I know it.” Tears started to fal . I had felt so many emotions last night that it was hard to decipher them al . But there was one emotion that stood out above al the rest, and that was his love for me.
“Wel , that much was very obvious, Melanie. I couldn’t tel what he wanted more, to rip Nicholas’s face off or to take you against that wal .” She raised her eyebrows at me, clearly referring to what she’d interrupted in front of the restrooms last night. “Sorry about that, by the way.
Nicholas was getting ready to come looking for you, and I insisted I would check on you.”
“Thanks.” I could only imagine what would have happened had it been Nicholas who found us rather than Katie.
I groaned in frustration, remembering Daniel’s words—his
why
and the hurt on his face as if I had somehow put it there.
“Katie, I’ve never been so confused. He’s the one who left me. He didn’t want me anymore, but he looked at me as if I was the one who broke his heart. I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, I definitely picked up on that, too.” Katie sucked in her bottom lip as she thought back to last night, her eyes narrowing in concentration. “I mean, there’s something missing, Melanie.” Her eyes darted back to mine. “You told me what happened when you went back for him, but why did you leave him in the first place?”
“I didn’t have a choice!” I cried out, feeling defensive. She had to understand, I’d never wanted to leave.
“Hey.” She rubbed my leg, trying to soothe me. “I didn’t mean it that way. It just might help to understand why Daniel did what he did.”
I took a deep breath, preparing to tel my story and praying I’d be able to get through it before I completely broke down.
“It’s just so hard,” I choked through my tears.
March 2000
It was excruciating—the pain. Where it was
coming from, I wasn’t sure. I lay in the darkness, for how
long I couldn’t tell. I heard voices, faint beeping, and the
shuffling of chairs. I was so scared, though somehow I
knew I would be okay, only because I could feel him.
Daniel was here. Then there were times when he was not.
I would relax when I’d heard whispered words and
felt the touch of his lips against my skin. But cold would
descend, fear swooping in and threatening to take me
away forever when he was gone. And just when I’d begin to
despair, he would suddenly be there once again.
I wanted to open my eyes to see him, and I
fought so hard to. They fluttered, the light stinging them,
but I was unable to focus on anything.
“Melanie.” I heard Daniel’s voice as he shifted
toward me. I tried to call to him. I could make out the
shape of his face before I drifted back into darkness once
again. Finally, the fog began to fade, voices becoming
clearer, the pain becoming worse. I was suddenly aware of
how difficult it was to breathe.
“Melanie, my love,” he whispered against my
hand. I could feel his lips on my skin.
It felt like a cloud surrounded my head when I
was finally able to keep my eyes open, like there was a
haze hovering in the room. Everything was a blur—except
for the hazel eyes staring down at me.
They were filled with complete anguish.
Everything became clear, confusion turned to
clarity. Fear raced through my veins. “Eva?” I tried to form
the word to ask about her, to call to her. My mouth was dry,
my tongue was thick, and no sound came out. My hands
searched for her, clawing at the emptiness of my belly in
panic.
“Shh...shh. Baby, please calm down; you’re
going to hurt yourself.” Daniel’s hands restrained mine as
he leaned over me and spoke against my ear. I calmed
against his touch, unwilling to fight him, feeling his tears
roll down my cheek and into my hair.
I swallowed, saliva wetting my mouth as I licked
my lips and found enough moisture to form the word.
“Eva?”
I felt all of his breath leave him as he stilled
against my face, finally pulling away to look me in the eye.
No words were said as he shook his head with unabashed
tears running in a continuous stream down his face.
No?
He was telling me no, his meaning seeping into
my soul like poison. Soundless sobs racked my body as I
fought to deny the truth. My baby girl. How could she be
gone?