Pulled (38 page)

I desperately tried to avoid looking at her stomach. The large protuberance seemed to mock me.

Vanessa’s tight, white shirt wrapped around the swol en mound, demanding I acknowledge what I’d done, but my entire being rejected it.

My voice cracked when I regained enough mental function to speak, leaving me with a strangled stream of words. “What...what the hel are you doing here?” Vanessa’s blue eyes flashed fire, and then she forced a smile, artificial y sweet. “You weren’t returning my cal s, so I decided to stop by and pay you a little visit.” I stared at her, wil ing myself to control my temper.

“I told you I didn’t want to hear from you unless it was something directly related to the baby, and for that, you can go through my lawyer. I trust you have his number?” My voice took on a condescending edge as I watched her resolve waver, her eyes darting to her feet before she looked back at me.

“Daniel.” She sighed, disheartened. “Why can’t you give us a chance? Let’s be friends and see where it goes. I don’t want to raise this baby alone.” Was she serious?

“First of al , I don’t want to be your friend. Second, you’re not going to be raising him by yourself. He’s going to be with me half the time. This,” I said, pointing back and forth between the two of us, “isn’t going to happen.”

“Wel , Daniel, in case you’d forgotten,
this
already happened!” She rubbed both hands over her bel y, emphasizing the biggest mistake I’d ever made. “And you real y didn’t seem to mind it then, did you? Don’t you think it’s time you stepped up and acted like a man instead of leaving me alone to deal with al of this by myself?” I felt a brief wave of guilt rol through me, before remembering her that night. I wasn’t the selfish one. She had made a choice for me, a choice that would affect me for the rest of my life.

I pointed to her stomach, my disdain wiping away every drop of sympathy I’d ever had. “That was your fault,” I hissed, the pent up hatred and blame I felt for her pouring freely. “You did this.” I shoved my finger closer. “And I never wanted this, so don’t you dare come in here and tel me how I should be handling it!” I spat, disgusted. “I don’t want anything to do with you, Vanessa.” I stormed across the room and flung the door open. “Now get out of my office and don’t come back.” I leveled my eyes at her, the threat clear in my voice.

As soon as I walked through the door, I knew something was wrong. The feeling was just—off. I could feel him, the energy, but it was frenzied, distressed.

I looked at Daniel’s secretary in confusion. Her eyes grew wide when she recognized me. We both turned when we heard Daniel’s elevated voice fil ed with poison.

I’d
never
heard him speak with such disdain. I rushed to his office, panicked and unable to comprehend what would draw a reaction like that from him. My feet felt momentarily disconnected from my body, and I fought to stay upright when I saw Vanessa. The sight of her was a punch in the gut, a knife to the chest. In a fleeting moment, it al came upon me, crushing, crashing, pulsing—uncertainty, resentment, jealousy, the baby—
his
baby.

I couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. Anxiety rippled through me, nipping my nerves, tearing me down, and taunting me with what I could not have. Would it always be there, lurking, begging for release? How could I stil feel this way after everything we’d been through, after what he’d said and what he’d shown? How could there be any lingering doubt?

“This is why you don’t want me? I knew it. You’re real y going to take this slut over me?
I’m
the one carrying your child.”

Her spiteful words, meant to sting, offered me a reason for conviction. Suddenly, it became clear. Those destructive thoughts and words had no place in me because I knew he would take me over her, over anyone else. For the first time, I truly believed it.

I felt courageous as I spoke, “You know nothing about me, know nothing about Daniel.” I reached for him, drawing strength. “Know nothing about us or what we’ve been through. Now I believe Daniel asked you to leave.” I didn’t back down as she looked between us, her eyes imploring as they raked over Daniel, probing for any uncertainty.

I could almost feel her blood run cold when she found none. Her face grew pal id as her resolve faded; her body slumped in defeat when she realized she’d lost the game she’d been playing. I couldn’t take my eyes from her as she walked away, taking with her every last trace of insecurity I’d ever felt. My heart nearly stopped when I saw Daniel’s face. He looked at me as if he had just found the treasure he’d spent his life searching for, his mouth reverent as his lips traveled over the back of my hand. He was proud of me.

“Come on, I have something to show you.”

“What?” I grinned.

I fol owed him into his office, and he grabbed his keys and jacket, took me by the hand, and led me back down the hal way.

“It’s a surprise.” His eyes gleamed.

I snuggled into his side, relaxing as I looked forward to time with Daniel. As long as I was with him, I didn’t care what it was. It could only be good. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he drew me closer. I glanced up just in time to anticipate his kiss, his smile wide when he pul ed away.

Daniel introduced me to Lisa, his office manager.

Honestly, I was a bit mortified to meet her after the behavior she’d witnessed the last time I was here. But her welcome was genuine, and I couldn’t help but return her warm smile.

Daniel quickly gave her a few instructions for the rest of the afternoon before taking my hand and pul ing me out the door.

I relaxed against the warmth of the heated seats, relishing the soothing pulse of our energy as Daniel and I traveled. He kept stealing glances at me, timidly smiling.

We rode in an easy silence with only the sound of soft, muted music and the purr of the engine as we sped down the open road.

“That’s my parents’ exit.” He lifted his hand from my leg, pointing to the road we passed. I peered out the window, imagining what it would be like to see them again.

Reuniting with Erin the other night had been healing. Losing her had been devastating, only eclipsed by the hole Daniel’s absence had left. It was as if when each of them came back into my life, a piece was put back into place, fil ing me, making me whole. I couldn’t wait to fil the spot forever reserved for Patrick and Julia.

“You miss them?” His voice was soft, concerned, his soul attentive to the ache coming from my heart.

“Very much.” I didn’t realize I was getting emotional until I heard my choppy voice.

“Melanie, sweetheart, I don’t want to pressure you.

Say no if you’re not ready for this yet. But they real y want to see you.”

“They know?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, watching me apprehensively.

Daniel told me of how Patrick had seen me the day I had come to the office, and the conversation they had afterward. Of course, now that Erin knew, Julia knew.

“I initial y thought it would be better to wait...” The sudden break in his sentence al owed me to fil in what was left unsaid.
“Until you’re not married anymore.”
Raking his hand through his hair, the very thought of it seemed to cause him distress.

“But I just can’t see keeping you from them. Erin is coming back this weekend, and she’s kind of made...plans.” He looked across at me, both hopeful and scared of my reaction. “Dinner at my parents’ house?” I guess I had thought it was better to wait too, but real y, it just didn’t make sense anymore. Everyone knew about Nicholas. Did I wish I were coming back into this relationship under difference circumstances? Absolutely.

But they loved me, and I loved them, and a legal document couldn’t change that, not any more than it could change what Daniel and I had. In my heart, he’d always been my husband and they’d always been my family. My marriage was nothing more than a sham, a cover for an indentured servant.

“I’d like that.”

He sighed, washed in relief, and squeezed my leg in a silent thank you.

I looked back at the road when I felt him slowing for the next exit. I felt a vague sense of
déjà vu
as we pul ed in front of a smal , white house framed by tal , expansive trees. Cold weather had left the branches void of leaves, and they scraped across the pitched roof of the house. The porch jutted out into the yard in greeting—welcoming.

Everything about the house was simple, plain, unassuming.

Home. It was wonderful, and perfect, and heartbreaking, because I knew what Daniel felt when he saw that house, what it reminded him of. I had told him he needed to get a new house for his son, but he hadn’t. Instead, he found a new house for me.

A black-haired woman in her mid-forties and dressed in a business suit stepped from a silver luxury SUV

parked in the driveway. She shielded her eyes with her hand, squinting as she looked at Daniel’s car and waited for us to get out.

“It’s okay if you don’t want it, Melanie.” Daniels voice was soft, uncertain, and I turned to him. His hazel eyes burned into mine, searching my soul, finding my heart laid bare. As I al owed the emotion to come, tears streamed freely down my face. I looked back at the house, drawn to it and terrified al at the same time. I forced myself to just get out.

The realtor introduced herself before seeing my tears. I clearly made her uncomfortable, and she seemed relieved to switch her focus to Daniel as he shook her hand.

We fol owed her silently up the walkway. I braced myself as she slid the key into the lock and turned the knob. My breath escaped me when the door slowly drifted open. It was not the same, not at al , but it
felt
the same. And it would have hurt if it hadn’t felt so right.

I stood in the middle of the living room. Silent tears ran down my face as I felt the pul bounding around the room, insisting I stay. I knew I looked as if I was breaking down, fal ing apart, but it was completely the opposite. I was coming together. It was as if I had ended up in the same spot I’d been torn from long ago. At the same time, everything was so messed up, it made my head spin.

Daniel wrapped his strong arms around my

shoulders from behind and pul ed me against his chest, his heart pounding into my back as he rocked us. His mouth sounded remorseful against my ear. “Baby, I’m so sorry. It was stupid. I should have thought. I should have known. It just felt...right.”

I wanted to tel him so many things. I wanted to tel him how wonderful he was. I wanted to praise his extraordinary heart, his perfect soul. I wanted to tel him that this meant as much to me as it did to him. Instead, I whispered the only thing I could manage, “It
is
right.” He exhaled heavily, and his rigid muscles eased

as his arms slid from my upper arms to my waist.

Intertwining our hands, he hugged me tightly, never letting go while we continued to sway.

Neither of us wanted to move, the moment

sublime. Daniel reluctantly pul ed away when we realized how awkward it had to be for the realtor. Her back was to us as she stared blankly out the kitchen window into the backyard gazing out upon the unkempt lawn.

Daniel brushed his lips along my ear. “I love you.” I nodded, and he walked away to speak with her.

I ran my hands through my hair, dried my eyes, and pul ed myself together, feeling strong enough to explore the house that had taken hold of me. It was perfect, except for the glaring void it held because Eva wasn’t here.

I desperately tried to see
him
here, to picture a crib in the corner of the smal bedroom or a highchair beside the dining room table. I strained to hear the laughter of a child as he ran down the wood floors of the hal way and to see him playing in the backyard. Instead, there was nothing.

I wanted to feel,
needed
to feel because I had promised Daniel I would do this with him, but I didn’t think I’d even begun to grasp how that child was going to rip my heart out.

My nerves were out of control. My hands shook as I packed a pair of pajamas and change of clothes into my overnight bag. I’d seen Daniel every day this week. Every morning I’d anticipate his cal to meet him for lunch, and I’d race to meet him as soon as I got word. We’d hold hands as we walked the streets, sharing al of our favorite places.