Princess Ces'alena (68 page)

“Any how - I figure if we switch them babies, and I could talk Lena into goin’ through with it, she would be safe. That baby be safe. I didn’t wanna hurt you, but you got to stop this with her…you got to-…”

“Well that’s just too bad. ‘Cause the time to say that - was before you marry her! You should’ah been fightin’ then for what you want. Not when you start losing everythin’ - then you wanna blame us ‘cause it all gone bad!” Kayleen was getting angry now.

Kayleen stood, as her temper flared. “You hold it right there!
Right there!
” She warned in biting anger. “I ain’t yo’daddy! Don’t you -
never
-
ever
– raise yo’ voice at me again! Do you understand me boy?!”

Manny froze as his nostrils flared, but he didn’t move, nor say another word. “Yo’ daddy ain’t did nothing but what he always do - bluff! And you give into'im!”

“‘Cause no matter how that man get on my nerve sometime - he ain’t no monsta’! Ain’t no way he would’ah eva’ sol’ that boy! Nor bring no harm to his mama! He deal you a hand, you wasn’t man enough to know how to play, so you gave him what he want.”

They stood silent, as Manny felt himself burning from humiliation. Kayleen could handle him as no one could – simply because, she
was
his mother and what he would take from her, he would take from no one else. He would argue and cuss at Morris sun up and then down, but when she came into the room after hearing it, one look from her, and Manny would stop his tirade with his father. Yet and still, concerning this matter, his daughter, breathing hard, he could not give up his fight to be heard.

“Regardless of what you say - and the reasons you have for what you did, she is mine! I would have never hurt her! How could you put me, with them Kayleen? She’s mine. You had no right to keep her from me.”

Kayleen realized that he only saw his own hurt and anguish, not that she did what she did to protect him. She turned away tired of it. He turned to Jordan then, “And you, you knew…how could you not tell me?”

“’Cause i’s like I say in the barn, it was up to Lena to put that baby’s life in yo’ hands, not mine. Manny - forgive me for what I say now…but the truth is, if you plan on lovin’ a black woman - yo’slave…you gon’ have to learn to share her hurt. You gone have to understan’ her reason’s for doing, what only a black woman have to - to survive; for herself, an’ for her babies. Whatever that is she do, you gone have to be man enough to suffer an’ accept what yo’ world gone do to you, and yo’ children because of it.”

Manny didn’t want to hear anymore. He felt like raging from all his suppressed fury as he looked from Jordan to Kayleen.

“You know what - nothing I do - is ever good enough. I see now – that I stand alone! I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough when I should have been! I’m sorry we live in a world such as this! My God – I did not – make this world – what it is! I did not!” He stood breathing deep and harsh, tears filling his eyes once more, facing them, the two people in his world he was certain, that he could trust. “If no one gives a damn – about me – where do I turn?”

Kayleen sat crying now, hurting – because he hurt. The last thing she wanted, was this.

Manny shook his head, “Oh well, I know who I am, and how I feel!” He steamed. “How dare you tell me – I have not suffered! I have been doing nothing but suffering for the last three years! For the way I feel! And for loving - Ceś alena Huebana! I have hurt - in a way – that - neither of you will ever understand! You both get to stand there and go, tsk tsk tsk…po’dumb Manny!”

“Doing everything wrong! But I’m the one-…” He pounded his tight chest, wanting to sob. He stopped, holding his fist to his heart, wondering would his hell ever end. “I’m the one-…” He thumped it again, his chest hurt and burned. “…-who has to live with it! I have to look back and see - where I went wrong! I have to look back and know… my son is-…” He couldn’t finish. He turned and kicked the kitchen door open slamming it against the wall as he walked away. Passing the dining room he grabbed up one of the chairs and slammed it to the table top shattering it, then let it drop and walked from the dining room.

He paced in the hallway back and forth to cool down before he went to Hope. Wiping his hand over his face, taking several deep breaths, blinking his eye lids to wash away the tears – unable to keep himself from her any longer, he went looking for Hope and Leon, and found them on the front porch. “Come here.” He ordered softly, holding his hands out to pick her up.

Hope happily went straight into them.

Leon sat in hurt silence as Manny headed for the steps. “No one - is going to take you from me. I’ll kill them first! Fuck it! I will kill them all.” He growled heatedly stepping down the porch steps, and began walking away around the side of the mansion.

Leon sat unable to move, having heard his words, feeling them to be directed at him, he sat broken hearted. He wanted to go to Manny and beg his forgiveness. No one loved Manny as much as he did. To him, Manny was his father and he wished he’d taken his side. He wished he’d told him from the very beginning. He sat wiping tears from his eyes. All of a sudden he saw movement in his peripheral vision, and looked up. Manny was standing and holding Hope staring at him. Leon wiped his face, and swallowed. “What are you sitting there for? You comin’ or not?” Leon shot up from his seat, nodding his head happily, to join them. When next to Manny, he blurted. “I’m sorry. I should’a told you, but everybody-…”

“Hush about that now, I know. Looks like, this one here, and you – are all I have left. Going, I should have taken you with me. No matter, tell me about that day, everything that happened. Tell me about my little girl. Tell me what has been going on since I’ve been gone.”

Leon did.

He spent the rest of the day by Manny and Hope’s side. Manny ignored everyone else, but kept Hope and Leon with him. They went back to the barn, cleaning it as Hope helped, and then saddled two horses.

Manny stopped as he looked at Mike’s stallion. “Whose been taking care of him Leon?” He asked. “We all have, been exercisin’em everyday. I ride’em every now and then.” He admitted.

“Well, you ride him from now on. He’s yours.” Manny stated.

“Me wan’orsie.” Hope announced. Manny laughed, “Oh do ya’now? You hear that Leon? She’s startin’ already. Demanding women…I think it’s given to them at birth.” He joked.

Leon chuckled, in spite of being choked up at Manny’s gift to him. “I think you right. ‘specially ha’. She thank she a princess or somethin’, how she act sometimes.” He replied grinning.

Manny nodded. “That’s because she is Leon. Her mother is Princess Ceś alena, and her grandfather - King LuMaden. When I’m done with her, no man will be worthy of her. Because with every action I take, it shall be to indulge her, spoil her, set her on high. Daddy’s little girl.” Manny chuckled, “What man will match all of that?” He announced saddling his horse, looking back and forth from what he was doing, to glance down at his daughter with the eyes of a proud and protective father. Happy, Hope was content to play in the clean hay, not far from her father and looked up at him with bright gold eyes and the face of an angel.

Leon smiled shaking his head, going to the stallion that had once been Michael’s and now, it was his.

As he saddled, he heard Manny test his daughter’s name. When they were both saddled up, Leon led his horse out, and Manny picked up Hope, placing her in the saddle as they led them out of the barn. Climbing up behind her, and settling her comfortably in place, with Leon climbing onto his, they started a slow gait towards the miles of fields belonging to Webster Fields, and that is when Manny first announced his daughter’s name out loud.

“You
are
my Hope, my Golden Hope. Golden Hope Webster, wait until Charles sees you.” It was that, that Kayleen knew about him and the reason she worked so hard to keep Hope hidden – he had no grasp of the concept that his mulatto children were only the pride of himself and the people that loved them – mainly speaking, the slaves. The three were as father, son and daughter. They toured the fields to check on the cattle. He visited the overseers, and met their daughters, wives and families. Doing what all knew he would, proudly displaying his daughter.

Realizing that she would soon be hungry, he and Leon made a small fire and camp next to a stream and caught fish for their lunch. There they sat and talked, Manny telling Leon about his adventures at sea. Showing him his wounds and how he ended up fighting pirates.

As they fished and kept an eye on her, she chased butterflies, and picked wild flowers, giving them both a crushed bouquet. Leon made her a little crown from the flowers to wear in her hair, and Manny observed them both. His mind once again, on too many thoughts at once.

Lena and Thomas; his son; his life; Katherine and what to do about her; his merchant business; Kayleen, Jordan, and once again back to Lena. His mind replayed everything from the past. From the first time he ever saw her, to the first time he lay with her; her round with his sons. The fights they’d had. The hell they’d suffered; and now … his daughter that she kept from him. He was calm now…on the surface – but building underneath was the anxiety of her return. Playing in his mind, was the thought of saddling a horse and going looking for her. What would she do, Thomas do, if he suddenly showed up where they were? Manny knew, he could not. With his current state of mind, to show up where she was now, Thomas would try to intervene – Manny despite it all, did not want to end up in a fight with him - for things to go too far. He knew the man’s purpose for being there, it was a worthy purpose. He had to keep things as they were, between himself and Lena.

This was about them – no one else.

Having made up his mind on how to deal with it, still and yet, he continuously thought about her being alone with Thomas. After tonight…that little union would end – he would see to it. At the present, his baby girl was chattering away about something, he only caught bits and pieces of. Sometimes he understood her as plain as day, then other times he could only wonder at her words. Spoken so seriously with ever changing expressions; he would look to Leon for an interpretation, he only shrugged without a clue, offering, “You get use to it. Just
em hm
, and always agree…you be fine.”

Manny nodded following his instruction, laughing with wonder at being a father to a daughter. She was tiny, delicate, fragile and lovely. It amazed him how different having a daughter made him feel from having sons. As Hope went on trying to talk to him, he did catch and understand little bits about the Indian village. He realized there was someone called, “eh co.” Manny hadn’t a clue that she was trying to tell him about, Red Crow; because she was unable to pronounce his name. She showed him her little necklace with its leather string and copper piece hanging from it. “What is this?” He asked Leon. Again Leon shrugged. “I’on know, but Ms Lena say, you try to take it off her, she throw a fit.”

Manny let go of the rough jewelry, because Hope was so proud of it.

In the time he spent with her and Leon, watching her play once they’d returned to the plantation, he’d laughed more than he had in years. She talked his ears off and he loved every minute of it.

He sat at Lena’s cabin and watched her play with Mazie’s children that she’d brought over. Jamie and Nia, Jamie being the surrogate baby who was used to trick him.
‘So you’re the little one they used to send me insane.’
He thought as he sat watching them. He shook his head in wonder,
‘Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I see through the lie?’
He suddenly smiled and chuckled at Hope, he was seeing a part of her that made him laugh. The more he watched her, the more he realized that his beautiful daughter was a smart, bossy, spunky, spirited little brat – wanting to have everything her way, just like her mother.

Instead of correcting her as he knew he should, he chuckled with a warning to her, that he would not let her get away with such things in the future, but right now, he did not have the heart to scold her. Instead, he scooped her into his arms and walked off talking to her until she cooled her little temper,
‘and boy is it a doosey.’
He thought.

Something also told him that she was needing a nap, and took her into the mansion, to his room and laid her on his bed, where she could take one. There beside her where she sure enough, fell asleep while he stroked her hair, staring down at her soft delicate features. Such a pretty babies face. Suddenly he was choked up as tears came to his eyes.

With his fingers he traced the gold arch of her brow, so much like Lena’s. Her tiny button nose, and pert full lips, such a dark pink… shaped as well like Lena’s. She was amazing to him, so incredible that all of this time…Lena had hid her from him.

All the traveling, running, fighting and killing he’d done to escape and erase a hurt that didn’t have to be; the unbearable pain that forced him to drink himself into oblivion sometimes. He was dwelling too much again, and couldn’t help but whisper the question. “Were you ever going to tell me about Hope? How long did you plan to carry out this charade?” Still stroking his daughter’s head, he leaned over and kissed her brow. He stayed that way, his face right up to hers. “You’re mine. As sure as water is wet, and pain does hurt. You are mine…and so - is your mother. I will not lose you… and somehow little one; we
will
be a family. By God I swear it - I will see it through, before I leave this earth. Or I will die with the trying.”