Princess Ces'alena (66 page)

Last, there was this strange feeling that came over Manny every now and then in the morning when he passed Lena’s cabin heading for the stables. He could swear someone was watching him but when he stopped to look around, there was no one there.

Hope, since the first morning after his return, was rising every day before Lena like clockwork so she could catch a glimpse of her father as he passed by. She would get so excited when she saw him coming that she’d scream to her sleeping mother.

“Mommy mommy mommy – he comin’ he comin’ – come look’ at m’daddy!!” Lena would leap from the bed startled, running to shush her by placing her hand over her mouth. “Hope! Honey you’re too loud. You can’t scream like that! He may hear you baby.”

Hope would sigh downcast. “I so’ry mommy.”

She couldn’t help herself. Lena saw that she had fallen in love with her father; so much so that she kept a vigil at the window. Lena sat on the bed watching her daughter as she sat watching for him in anticipation, wondering at the thoughts that went through her little mind. Had she known, it would have broken her heart.

Maybe then she would have possibly given up the struggle of keeping Hope a secret. She couldn’t imagine such a young child sitting and longing to be held by her father. Wanting him to know she was there, and that she loved him. She wanted him to see her, and love her too, and call her daddy’s little girl.

Just like Jason called Nia, when he came home from the fields. She wanted her father and mother to be like Mazie and Jason were with Jamie and Nia, a happy family. Sometimes she didn’t like Jamie and Nia, because Jason would come out of the fields and play with them. Bouncing them on his knee, and they would jump up and down yelling, “Daddy daddy…do it’gain!”

He would laugh, and do it again – notice her watching and the look on her face and then, he would include her. Hope eventually laughed out as they did, but he wasn’t her daddy. She wanted to call out. “Daddy daddy!” to Manny but she couldn’t, she could only watch him from a distance, and that she did faithfully.

However, a child such as she, could exercise only so much control. On one particular Saturday, in spite of all things hidden, the time was due for it to come out. Katherine out of pure frustration left, to spend time with Charles and Mildred, who invited her to come with them to Jackson because a stage play was being performed there. She was at her wits end and needed to get away from Webster Fields or go mad. Eager to get away, she left to take a few weeks break.

Morris had gone to Harvest Gold plantation to talk to Jordan Lee the night before concerning a grape vineyard. One thing led to another, business ended in a card game, and so he decided to spend the weekend there. On the Saturday morning of the big event, early before sunrise, Lena left with Thomas for the Indian village. Hope threw a tantrum, not wanting to go. It wasn’t the same without Red Crow there. Because she had left her behind a few other times, she thought this time left with Mazie, all would go well. Lena checked with her to make sure that it was alright to leave her, of course she agreed. Lena gave strict instructions, that if Hope went outside, she must wear the cream with her hair tied back and to watch her like a hawk – she was learning to be very sneaky. Mazie knew what to do, and nodded with a yawn waving Lena on.

Problem was however, as the day progressed, Mazie was bogged down with much to do. Hope threw a fit and wouldn’t let her put the cream on, nor bind her hair up in braids under the scarf. “Alright fine then lil’girl. You can’t go out. You have to stay in.” Mazie fussed. Hope sat in a pout with her little arms crossed over her chest glaring in displeasure. Mazie chuckled shaking her head. “You know you somethin’ else chile. Your brother didn’t act like that. He was the sweetest lil’boy.” Mazie bragged.

Hope made a face, and said, “I’on care.”

“Alright that’s it, be like that then, stay in the house, i’s gon’ get mighty hot in here.” Because Hope couldn’t go out, Mazie wouldn’t let Jamie and Nia out either, all three had to stay within. She gathered her laundry and headed out for the back of the house. That same morning, Manny had - as always, made his way to the stables. This morning in particular he decided to shoe his stallion and work with Leon; who was not yet up.

At first, very obediently Jamie, Nia and Hope played… until Hope became angry and hit Jamie and told him, with hands on hips. “You dum’ny boy, I’on li’you! Gon’ pway no more!” She then pushed all of the toys at him that she had been playing with, and marched to the chair by the window, climbing up she sat looking out. She was wishing she was back at home so she could see her daddy. And suddenly, he was there, walking past Mazie’s cabin. Hope sat alert as her eyes widened.

Mazie’s cabin was not twenty yards away from the barns. Feeling bored and mischievous, remembering the many games she played in the Indian village and how Red Crow taught her the way to silently stalk her prey before capturing it, she decided to try it out. Her father would be the perfect target to quietly track. She would spy on him without his ever knowing. She hopped down from the chair, licked her tongue out at Jamie, who would never understand her moods and marched towards the door opening it. “Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, ma say ya’pose t‘tay in’na house.” Jamie warned.

“No! Don’ wan’to! Leafs me ‘lone boy.” She replied grumpily.

“If’n ya’go’s ou’dat doah - Missy Lena gon’ tan’ya wit’a ‘witch.” Nia warned big eyed, fearing switch whippings mightily.

“Uh’uun, m’mommy not!” Hope yelled then opened the door, peaked out looking one way, then the next to see if the coast was clear, and snuck out.

Familiar with where everything was from spending so much time with Jordan and Leon, she was right at home running through the lanes and the short woods that stood between Mazie’s cabin and the area of the barns and stables. She crept around the stable to the back where the corral was and peaked in to make sure no one was about there. When she was certain the coast was clear, she went under the rail to the inside, and tip toed behind the open barn door. She peaked inside through the hinged side looking for Manny. He was in a stall talking to his stallion while rubbing him down. His back was to her. With a triumphant smile, she covered her mouth to stifle a giggle having fun with her sneaking. Like a tiny quiet mouse, she eased herself to the edge of the door, and looked at him again, his back was still turned as he was busy whistling and working. She went straight for her favorite hiding place from when Leon would bring her into the barn with him.

The big oat feed box inside the last stall. Very quietly, she pulled the bucket up to it, turned it upside down, stepped on to it as she always had and slowly and carefully, she lifted the lid and climbed inside the box. Once more, carefully, she went to lower the lid down to just a crack so she could watch him from within, when to her absolute horror, coming down by her head from it’s web, was the biggest black spider she’d ever seen.

“Eeeeeeeee – eeeeeeee – eeeeeeee – eeeeeeee!!!”
She shrieked and screamed with such a high pitched, terrified shrill siren like, it spooked the horses making them jump and whinny, tossing their heads and neighing in alarm. Snorting and kicking from a scream that was eardrum shattering as she struggled with the lid of the feed box. Her little heart pounding to almost bursting she screamed on, unable to climb out as she’d climbed in. She’d never had to before, Leon had always lifted her out.

The screaming, and banging of the lid made the hair on the back of Manny’s neck stand on end. He spun so fast at the continuous scream that he lost his balance and fell, trying to rush and find the source of the trauma. Surging to his feet, the gathered momentum of his body catapulted him forward from the stall making him grab the post so that he could make the turn to the other stall where the screaming was coming from.

Then he saw the feed box lid going up and down – banging with each closure. He ran to it and snatched it open with his heart beating like a drum. Jordan, Leon and Mazie came running into the barn as he stared down into the box. He spied the top of a golden head of hair, curls galore, that fell back to reveal a set of large golden eyes, filled with tears, desperately scrambling and beseeching. Hope was still screaming when she looked up at her father.

“A pida daddy!! A pida gon’bi’meeeeee!!!” She wailed with her mouth wide open, arms flapping for help.

Always quick of reflexe, Manny responded immediately, seeing the spider on her dress as she swatted frantically, her tiny body gyrating and jerking to remove it, he reached in and swiped it from her, smashing it against the inner box wall.

At the same time, with adrenaline pumping through her, Hope climbed his sleeve like a little monkey straight up into his arms. Lifting her out of the box, both of their hearts slamming, he stood with her; she wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her little face in it crying. Her legs clamped around his upper torso so tightly it would have taken some pulling to dislodge her. Manny backed away from the box wrapping his arms around the frightened child as his mind kept flashing her face over and over and over again. He was breathless, stunned, confused and shaken up all in the same moment.

He found himself speechless as the baby struggled with her fright, still crying out of control. He didn’t know what was going on, holding her, looking around as if he were in a dream. Nevertheless, it was no dream, because Jordan was calming the horses, and Leon was staring at him with wide eyes. As for Mazie, she looked like she would faint.

In his arms, was a trembling little girl. Solid, light weight, and panting with frightened gasps as she sobbed. He could feel the wetness of her tears on his neck. Somehow through the fog of confusion, he distinctly remembered her calling -
him
- daddy – ‘
Daddy?!’

He’d heard the word loud and clear. Manny absently stroked her back, and felt her hair. He looked down at it, as his fingers rubbed and tested the texture of it. It was wavy and silky with the richest hue of gold he’d ever seen. The length of it almost to her lower back. Manny’s eyebrows were drawn in disbelief as his mind struggled with what was happening, he was trying to pull himself from the swirling vortex that left him standing baffled. Again he turned with the child still clinging to him. Her crying was calming as he rubbed her back and started softly reassuring her. “Shhh - shhh - it’s alright. It is dead now. It’s gone.” He promised, feeling a ringing in his ears. “It can’t hurt you anymore.” He continued, stopping to look at the three quiet people staring at him with looks of regret in their eyes.

Jordan shook his head, wishing now he’d just told him. Leon had tears in his eyes, he was afraid that Manny would hate him after this. And Mazie stood thinking,
‘Lord…Lena - you need to get your butt home. Yo’ chile don’ found her daddy!’

Everyone stood staring back and forth between each other, waiting for Manny to realize all that had been hidden from him - all this time.

Hope was calming down to sniffles now as she began to realize what she’d done, and who held her. Heart still pounding, she slowly drew away from Manny’s neck with her little hands on his shoulders. Her arms fully extended now, she stared into her father’s eyes. Manny’s widened as he stared at the small face looking back at him. He couldn’t take his eyes from her.

He didn’t wish to blink. His eyes rose to once again take in the look and color of her hair. The big watery gold eyes, and now that she was so close, he could see little flecks of blue forming a cross with her pupils; her skin, such a smooth creamy olive. Everything about the sudden appearance of this perfect creature, he took in. He finally remembered to smile at her.

‘
My God - look at this amazing child, so - so breath-taking.’
He thought in awe, his eyes gentle and dreamy. Hope decided to break the overwhelming silence, her tiny, cracking, baby voice filling the space of silence.

“Hi…m’daddy.” She then shook her little head, as her expressive eyebrows rose and her eyes grew bigger still as she shared what she thought of this predicament. “I gon’ get’n trou-bo!” Those few little spoken words reverberated throughout Manny’s mind repeatedly. He could not believe what was happening. Again, she had called him daddy. He felt his mouth go dry, as he tried to swallow, then he quickly looked to Jordan for confirmation of what he’d heard.

“Who is this child?” He asked him in pure wonder.

Jordan swallowed, pointing at the truth. “Look at her Manny. Don’t you know? Remember what I said to you? Way back when everything happened? When we fought for Mike, and we lost him? She was born that day. The child you saw-…”

“Was my son…Jamie.” Mazie cut him off and spoke up. “Lena ain’t never been, wit’ no other man but you. She done it, scared Ms Katherine gone take her away too.” Mazie finished. It was all out now, wasn’t any sense in holding back.

He couldn’t believe his ears, he turned back to the child in his arms. “Wh-what’s your name?” He asked…feeling something rise in him he was unable to tamp down.

“My nim’ – Hope … and Ce alena m’mommy. You - m’daddy!” She smiled brightly at her father.

“Ohhh…” Manny muttered, trying to handle it all. “Ohhh my - God…” He stared at her trying to remain calm, and then he hugged her to him. “Your name’s Hope … Hope…” Unable to stand still he walked in circles, “Uh huh, m’daddy, tha’s me, Hope.” She repeated unsure of what was happening or what was wrong with him.

Jordan heard the first sob.

Mazie wiped her cheek.

Manny backed up to a bench feeling his knees would crumble as he held his daughter. He sat holding her, rocking to keep the rushing tide at bay, but then, she leaned back seeing his tears, and put her little hands to his cheek and told him softly.

“I’s ah’wight! Don’cwy…mommy ain’gone ‘pank y’wit a witch.”

Manny started laughing, roaring with it, as he held her, then instantly - he was sobbing. Sobbing so out of control his shoulders shook as it came up from deep within. The magnitude of it all was more than he could handle.

With him so upset, Hope became upset and began crying too. Mazie walked over to take her, when he turned holding on. “No! Leave her!! She’s mine!! She’s – she’s - mine…my – my Hope.” He sobbed even more trying to hold onto her.