Pearl (18 page)

“Sorry,” he said, swooping down to kiss Pearl on the lips. She instantly tasted the sour beer on his breath. “Got caught up at J.T.’s” He pulled up the seat beside her, reaching his arm across her plate to get the meatloaf. “Looks delicious, Vernie, just like Granny. I missed a good meatloaf.”

Pearl winced, though no one seemed to notice.
 

“Keeping my boys healthy.” Vernie smiled at her brood. “Nice to have that new cattle, Darren, keep that butcher coming.”

Darren nodded his thanks as Cindy scowled. “Can we not talk about our meat at the table like it’s still alive?”

“Mommy, is this Betsy?” Danny asked, horrified.

“Of course not,” Cindy said to the little boy, who now had huge tears welling up in his eyes. She glared at Darren. “Happy now?”

Darren held up his hands in defense. He hadn’t even spoken a word since he sat at the table.
 

Pearl took a small bite, chewing slowly before she turned to Roy. “So what are you guys working on down at J.T.’s?”

Roy shoveled a full bite in. Pearl’s stomach fell at the sight of meat hanging off his lip. “Doing some roofing.”

Pearl looked confused. “But it’s raining.”
 

Roy shrugged. “It’s always raining in Oregon—gotta get it done anyway.” Roy patted Pearl on the thigh. “Grab me a beer, will ya, baby?”

Pearl went to stand, but Vernie got up first. “You sit and eat. I’ll get it.”

Pearl scooted her chair back in. The table was fairly quiet as everyone ate. Roy moaned with every bite.
 

Cindy perked up, a smile on her face as she said, “I hear we are getting a Payless shoe store in town. Can you believe it, Pearl, a whole store for shoes?” Pearl looked warily at Cindy, confused as to why she was speaking directly to her. “We should go sometime,” Cindy said, smiling her fake smile.
 

Pearl ignored her. “So how many guys are out working with you?” she asked Roy, turning the conversation back to him. She was determined to find out if Ben was right. If only she could come right out and ask Roy, then she wouldn’t have to play so coy.

Roy shrugged, leaning across her to help himself to more potatoes. “I don’t know, five?” He looked down at her. She felt his knee press into hers. “What’s it to you?”
 

Pearl caught the stares from the table. Vernie coughed lightly and said, “I hear it’s gonna be something, that house that J.T’s building. Supposed to be over three stories tall.”

Roy grumbled something Pearl couldn’t understand as he guzzled his beer.
 

“That’s like a castle!” Lilly exclaimed.
 

Pearl took a sip of water. She still wasn’t satisfied. Nothing Roy was saying made her believe that Ben was right. And yet, she couldn’t shake the fact that he was. She tried one more time. “Do you think he’ll keep you hired on ’til it’s finished?”

Roy threw his fork on the plate. A loud clanging rang through the silent dining room. He turned his coal-black eyes at Pearl, his mouth in a tight line. “What the fuck is with the third degree?” He pushed away from the table, the chair slamming to the ground as he stood. “What are you implying? That I’m not good enough for the job? That he’s taking on some kind of charity case?”

“Of course not, Roy.” Pearl stumbled on her words. She cowered in her seat, realizing in that instant that she had taken it too far. She cursed at herself for being so demanding.
 

“Roy, please sit,” Vernie said nervously.
 

Roy’s glare was directed down at Pearl. She could feel the heat of it on her back. She didn’t dare look up. He stood, towering over her, his knuckles turning white as he pressed his fists into the table. Pearl stared at her plate, counting the rhythm of Roy’s rapid breaths.
 

“I don’t need to take this shit. I’m outta here,” Roy growled.

Pearl flinched at the sound of his stomping boots. No one said a word as the front door crashed open, then closed, and the screech of his tires spun on the gravel. The children began to whimper. Cindy stood up from the table, ushering them toward the car. She reeled back to the dining room. Her glowering eyes settled on Pearl. Venom spat from her mouth. “He wouldn’t act like that,” she seethed, “if you could just learn to keep your childish mouth closed.” Cindy spun on her heels, leaving Pearl trembling in her chair.
 

Pearl closed her eyes and prayed Roy would not bother coming home that night, that when he returned in the morning all would have been forgotten. But she knew Roy. She knew he would be sitting in the dark, reeking of the extra booze he drank while anticipating her arrival. She sank lower in her chair, wanting to plunge beneath it, for it to swallow her whole. She couldn’t move, couldn’t bear to take the steps she would have to take to the trailer, knowing what was awaiting her. She wondered if there might come a time when she wouldn’t survive Roy’s rage. She closed her eyes tighter and prayed that she could hide away at Vernie’s and never go home.

CHAPTER 16

Pearl waited for the sound of Roy’s truck to drift down the driveway toward J.T. Tucker’s before peeking her head out from under the covers. She drew back the sheets and carefully stepped out of bed, holding her arm tightly across her chest for support. She stretched, cringing from the sharp ache in her rib cage. She lifted her nightdress to assess the purple cloud below her breast. She ran a soft finger lightly over the bruise, feeling grateful it hadn’t been a lot worse. Roy was almost passed out when she returned last night. If she had just stayed at Vernie’s ten minutes longer, she was sure he would have been asleep. She braved it home across the field in the dark, stumbling at times in fear that she couldn’t make the next step. But there was no escaping Roy. Had she stayed the night at Vernie’s, his bitterness would have only grown stronger, and the chair he threw that grazed her ribs could have been faster and harder. Her pain was minimal. All that mattered was that she could still ride.

She needed to feel the wind in her hair, the strength in her back, and the power in her legs. It was a rare clear spring day that should be taken advantage of. She needed Molly, but even more, she needed Ben. It was the validation she had been ignoring to give. Pearl wanted to feed off him, to absorb his internal force that she so lacked. Just being in his presence soothed her. She needed to get to him now.

He was waiting for her at the entrance to the stable, as he always was. She admired his long lean legs in fitted jeans, his black and green flannel shirt rolled to his elbows. His hair had grown slightly since she had first met him, and showed the slightest hint of a wave as he pushed it back. She wondered how long he had stood there, anticipating her arrival. Her helmet was in his hands, his smile widening as she stepped out of the car. She instantly loosened up, her breath easing to a calming pulse, the wound to her ribs long forgotten.

“There you are.” He grinned broadly, handing her over her helmet. “I believe this is yours.”

“Thank you,” she said, returning his brightness. “I think we’ll need it today. It’s so nice outside.”

Ben followed her into the stall. She walked up to Molly, happy to see her sweet friend. She reached between the bars to rub the horse’s neck. “Hello, beautiful girl.” Molly responded to her touch by leaning into Pearl’s hand. Pearl ran her fingers through Molly’s mane as Ben opened the stall door for her to enter. She brushed and groomed Molly with love as though Molly were her child. She whispered softly to her as Ben stood back and watched her. She didn’t feel the slightest bit uneasy knowing that Ben’s eyes trailed her every move. Something had transformed in her last night as Roy put his hands on her. She didn’t know what to do with the knowledge that she preferred another man’s company to her husband’s.
 

“You’re so good with her.”
 

Pearl looked up at him, a gleam in her eyes. “She’s easy to love.”

Ben’s eyes softened with understanding as he continued to stare. Pearl turned back to Molly, finishing the last stroke of the brush down her back.

“There’s someplace I want to take you today,” he said. “A place I want to show you.”

Pearl lifted a brow. “There’s somewhere we haven’t been?”

“I’ve saved my favorite place for the right time.”

“You’ve been holding out on me,” she teased.

He laughed. “Had to wait ’til you were ready. You’ve been riding a while now, and the weather is right. I think it’s finally time.”

He helped lift her onto Molly’s back. Pearl closed her eyes and took a deep breath as waves of pain shot through her chest.

“What is it?” Ben asked, startled.
 

Pearl pulled herself together and turned to him with a smile. “Nothing at all.”

He eyed her suspiciously for a moment. She widened her smile. He shook his head, jumping onto his own horse. “Okay, follow me.”

She rode beside him, a light gallop to start before speeding up to a reasonable run. They came to the creek, where Ben pulled ahead, jumping across with ease. She tugged on the reins a short distance before the edge. Ben turned around, his hands lightly on his hips.

“You do this all the time in the arena. You can do this.”

She hesitated at first before backing Molly up a few paces. She kicked her heels, and Molly responded. As they caught air over the creek, Pearl held her breath. She felt as though she was flying. They landed more quickly than she’d expected. She never had time to be afraid.

She laughed loudly as she sidled up to Ben. “That was amazing!”
 

“I told you, you could do it.” He smiled. “You just have to trust and let go.”

“Thank you, Ben. You always have more trust in me than I do in myself.”

They sat facing each other, their knees resting together. “Maybe you need to have a little more trust in yourself,” he responded.

She shook her head. “No, I think it’s just you. You bring it out in me. You’re a natural. It’s no wonder you teach lessons and are so good around horses.”

She thought she caught him blushing as she turned Molly back in the direction of the forest. “Teaching is a dream of mine, you know,” he said. “I’ve never told anyone before, but what I would really want is to have a dude ranch.”

Pearl cocked her head at him as they galloped together. “Instead of being an architect?”

“Yeah, that was more my parents’ dream,” he admitted. “And I do love to design and build—I just want to put that effort into my own place. I think the skills I have as a contractor could help me with that.”

She eyed him closely, seeing for the first time real passion in his expression. “So you really think you’re going to do it?”

They entered the dark woods. Heavy rich green saturated trees coated the sky, with only small windows of sunlight showing through the leaves. The sound around them went silent except for the crunch of the horses’ feet as they sauntered through the fallen branches and brush.
 

“If I ever leave this place, I will,” Ben said. Pearl thought she heard a tinge of sadness in his voice.

“You don’t think you could do that here?” she asked hopefully. The idea of Ben going away left her with an unnerving pang in her stomach.

He shrugged. “Possibly, but I would want to be somewhere where it didn’t rain nine months out of the year. I want a place where families come to vacation, to hike and ride. I’d build a lodge for people to stay. I want people to come year-round, not just in the summertime.”

“Somewhere like Arizona,” Pearl said softly.

He looked at her then. “Yeah, like Arizona.”

They followed the trail as it began to ascend the hill. Molly slowed to a walk to keep her energy full though the hike.
 

“That’s a big dream,” Pearl said.

“Well, aren’t dreams supposed to be big?” Ben asked lightly, a smile back on his face. Pearl couldn’t return his optimism. She had never had dreams like that before. Her only ambition was to get out of Arizona for a better, easier life. Dreaming had let her down.

“Just up this hill is where we’re going,” Ben said, interrupting her trance.
 

They came to a clearing where the trees opened up and a soft plain of grass extended into a wide circle. Pearl pulled up behind Ben, who was facing her, and slowed Molly to a halt.

“Turn around,” Ben said thoughtfully.

Pearl twirled Molly until she was facing the same direction as Ben. Their legs brushed against each other as they sat close together. She followed his gaze to the view in front of them.
 

Pearl gasped. They were high enough on the hill to see the valley below them stretch for seemingly endless miles. In the distance the earth dropped, and they stood high above the trees that covered the land like an eternal green blanket.
 

Ben lifted off his helmet and directed her sight to the left of where they were sitting. Snowy caps came into view. “You can see the Cascade Mountains from here.”

“Amazing,” Pearl breathed. It was a vision unlike any she had seen. “Nothing like this in Arizona.”
 

“No, probably not.” Ben chuckled. “Come, I’ll help you down and you can look around.”

He hopped off his horse and was at her feet instantly. She took off her helmet, letting her blonde hair taste the crisp spring air. She swung her leg around until she was turned toward him. He reached up to grasp her at her side. As she fell into his arms, his fingers made their way around her middle, sending a sharp jab through her chest as though her rib was puncturing through her body and out the skin in her back. She cried out, dropping to the ground in agony.

“Pearl!” Ben exclaimed. He rushed to his knees to help her off the ground.

She held out her hands to keep him away. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” she gasped as she searched for her breath.

“You’re not fine,” Ben scolded. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing, really,” she said, trying to sit up.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, resting a hand on her back to help her up. “Let me see.”

“No,” she said sharply. “It’s not you. I just fell earlier, and I have a bruise on my ribs, that’s all.” She dusted the dirt from her jeans. “I forgot about it until you helped me down.”