Pearl (14 page)

Pearl gave her an uneasy nod. She didn’t need to be babysat by Vernie.

“You can’t mean that…” Roy said, then pausing to think. Pearl looked over to see a blank expression cross Vernie’s face.

“Are you telling me you still go see that bastard?” Roy’s voice boomed in the small kitchen. Darren stepped back in the room, his hand on Roy’s shoulder to calm him down.

“That’s no business of yours,” Vernie replied.

“Like hell it ain’t!” Roy yelled. “That’s my father.”

Pearl dropped the can opener in the sink, catching her startled breath at Roy’s words.

Vernie, unaffected by Roy’s fury, stepped up to him, her head no higher than Roy’s chest. “He’s my brother. I’ll see him if I choose.”

“Let’s go outside, Roy,” Darren urged, his hand tugging on Roy’s arm.
 

Roy shook him off. “How can you see that monster?” Roy snarled at a calm Vernie. Pearl closed her eyes, knowing this tone all too well. “After what he’s done, how can you even look him in the eyes?”

Vernie stood tall, her gaze unwavering as she stared back at Roy. “I can look him in the eye, just as I look at you,” she answered. “Ain’t no different.”

Roy balked. “I am not my father.”

Pearl shuddered, her fingers quivering as she gripped the edge of the sink for support.

“It’s all the same road, Roy,” she said, her eyes wavering slightly to a terrified Pearl. Roy caught her glance and turned his head away. Vernie straightened her back and continued, “Difference is, he has remorse.”

Roy’s head spun back at Vernie. He growled as he glared down at her. Darren wrapped his arms around him, jerking him out of the kitchen and out the door. Pearl held her breath, counting the seconds until she heard the roar of Roy’s truck as it skidded off down the driveway.

“I’m not scared of you,” Vernie said to the silence of the kitchen.
 

Feeding off Vernie’s words for strength, Pearl slowly turned around, her back to the sink. She opened her eyes, searching the empty kitchen until her gaze fell on a trembling Vernie.

CHAPTER 12

Roy didn’t speak to Pearl that night. He stomped around the trailer, mumbling under his breath, tossing one empty beer can on the floor as he cracked open a new one. Pearl hid in the corner, staying out of his sight and out of his line of fire. She nodded off to sleep, her head drooping against the wall. She awoke to a sudden crash, realizing it was Roy leaving the trailer. She listened to the sound of his engine and checked the clock, wondering where he could be going after midnight. She quickly scurried off the floor and out of her clothes, flipping on the bedroom lamp before drifting back to sleep in her own bed.
 

Roy shook her awake. She opened her eyes to see that it was still dark.
 

“What time is it?” she asked. She noticed his clothes were changed and he was freshly showered, though the booze on his breath said he had just returned home.

“It’s almost six. I’m meeting up with Darren, and we’re heading out to the auction. I’ll be back tonight.”

She searched for a sign of clemency in his voice. “I’ll be working,” she said, apologetically. “Do you want me to stay home?”

He shook his head. “We need the money just to pay for these goddamn lights you leave on all the time.”

Pearl sat up in bed as Roy stood, heading for the door. “Wait,” she said. “Can I make you breakfast?”

Roy stopped at the door. “No, I don’t want breakfast. What I want is for you to quit running your mouth. I don’t know what you said to Vernie. But it ends now.”

“Roy, I didn’t…”
 

He held a hand up. “No more playing at Vernie’s house, understood?”

She gulped back a reply and simply nodded her head.
 

He turned on his heels, slamming the front door on his way out.

Exhausted but unable to sleep, Pearl curled up in a ball and waited for the sun to rise. She showered and folded clothes, having all of her chores done before nine. She paced the house, knowing usually she would be off to Vernie’s for a coffee break with Virginia, but she knew better than to disobey Roy. He strictly told her not to go to Vernie’s; however, he said nothing about leaving the house at all.

She twirled her finger around the cord of the phone, debating whether to pick it up. Before she could talk herself out of it, the receiver was in her hands and her fingers were dialing the unfamiliar number. Ben answered in two rings, and plans were made for within the hour. She fired up the Thunderbird and was on her way, ready for her first riding lesson.

The Murray Stables were a mile from Jumping Creek, at the bottom of the hill. They lay on flat lands of endless acres of fields lined with thick forest that peaked high like a mountain. She pulled into the drive. A large chestnut-brown house with a red door sat off to her left, with a small log cabin behind it. She knew instantly that the small house was the home Ben built and lived in. To the right was an enormous horse stall, where Ben greeted her, a pale bucket in his gloved hands. She stepped from the car just as the clouds dropped their first shower of the morning. She raced to the eave beside him, laughing as the rain drenched her head.

“Guess this wasn’t the best idea,” she said through her giggles.

“Ah, we’ll be all right. I’m used to it, was planning on just sticking to the arena anyway,” Ben said, pulling her inside. The large stable was built ten stalls back with high light pine columns and an open-beam ceiling. It was stunning, and rich in smell and texture. Horses filled every stall, each beautiful in tones of honey, chestnut, and chocolate brown.
 

“This is incredible.” Nothing like the four-stall rickety shack Roy and Darren had built. “I had no idea it could look like this.”

“Thanks,” Ben said humbly.
 

She eyed him suspiciously. “Did you build this?”

He shrugged. “Not by myself. Come, meet my girls.”

He led the way down the path, introducing her to each of the horses by name. “They’re all Morgans—it’s the type of horse I breed. Back when I was younger I’d show some of them in horse shows, and different state competitions. They did good, but this one here is my girl.” He stopped before the chocolate mare. “This is Molly. She’s who you’ll be riding today.”

Pearl reached her hand out for Molly to smell. When the horse allowed her, Pearl lifted her fingers to pet her neck along her mane. “Hi, Molly.”
 

“She’s the kindest animal you will ever meet, and she has an uncanny sense of smelling bullshit.”

Pearl shot a glance to Ben to see if he was serious. His wide, proud smile said he was. He opened the stable door, handing Pearl a rubber curry brush. “Let’s start with this to warm her up.” He placed the brush in Pearl’s hand. “Start at the top of her neck and work your way down in circular motions. Let her smell you, and get used to you.”

Pearl did as she was told, running one hand through the thick wire of the horse’s mane as the other hand made loops down its neck.

“This is incredible,” Pearl said. “I’ve never been so close to a horse before. I can’t believe how powerful she feels.”

“Just wait ’til you’re riding. There’s nothing like it.”

Pearl finished up the other side, and Ben saddled her up and walked her to the indoor corral.
 

Pearl’s heart began to race as she stepped up beside Molly. The height of the animal seemed so apparent now, making Pearl waver in her confidence. “Why am I so nervous?”
 

Ben handed her a helmet. It was made for a child and fit her a little high on the head.

Ben smiled. “Because you’re giving up all control to another being. It’s terrifying, but once you learn how to work together, to feel her comply with your command, it’s not as frightening. It’s actually amazing.”

Pearl hoisted herself, with Ben’s help, onto the saddle. She instantly felt more alive, and more frightened than she had imagined.
 

“Steady yourself, find your balance, and sit square in the saddle,” Ben instructed. “Put your feet in the straps, and hold one rein in each hand.”
 

Pearl adjusted her stability, sitting up straight and tall, her feet planted in the stirrups.
 

“Make sure you are not leaning too far forward,” Ben commanded. “Loosen your grip, and relax a little—she’ll feel your tension.” Pearl already felt overwhelmed by what she had to remember just by sitting on the horse.
 

“Good, better. Are you ready?” Ben asked.
 

Pearl’s eyes bulged in alarm. “For what?”

He laughed at her distress. “We’re only walking. Don’t worry—I’ll be right beside you.”

Pearl wasn’t so sure. “This isn’t like one of those times when you’re learning to ride a bike and the person says they are right there and then they let go and you go hurling down the hill by yourself, is it?”

Ben calmed his laughter, a glimmer of his smile still in his eyes. “I believe a bike and horse are very different. I can’t imagine hurling you down the hill on your first ride. I’d be afraid you’d hurt Molly somehow.”

Pearl nodded. “Well, okay, walk on, then.”

He started at a slow pace, the lope of the Morgan’s hips swaying Pearl back and forth as though in a dance. They circled the arena in silence. By the third time around, she’d found her groove. Her shoulders relaxed, and she felt at perfect ease. She enjoyed the silence and the beat of the rain on the stable roof. She found it peaceful and might have closed her eyes, if it weren’t for the fear she’d fall asleep.
 

They came to the entrance of the arena, and Ben broke the silence. “You’re doing good. Want to go around again, or have you had enough?”

“Yes, I’m not ready to get down yet.”

“It’s pretty addicting,” Ben admitted. “I find whenever I have any stress in my life, I can just jump on and ride and it seems to all disappear.”

“I would love to have something like that,” Pearl sighed.
 

“Well, now you do,” Ben said. “Besides, what do you have to be stressful for? You’ve got it good with your marriage and job. Can’t imagine there’s a whole lot out there to be wishing for.”

Pearl bit her lip. She’d stopped counting her wishes a long time ago.
 

“You can’t assume someone’s happiness,” she found herself saying.

Ben stopped the horse and turned to her. “Shit, Pearl. I don’t know why I find myself always saying the wrong things to you.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine…I’m fine. All I’m saying is just because I got married, and ran away from home, and live in a trailer and drive a beat-up rusted Thunderbird doesn’t give me the right-of-way to life’s full potential of happiness.”

He chuckled at her rant. “No, I guess it doesn’t. Maybe we should up your lessons to five times a week. Seems you need it more than me.”

She smiled back at him. “Seems like it.”
 

 
He halted Molly and helped Pearl down. “I think that’s enough for one day. Molly may have to enter therapy after listening to you go on.”

Pearl gave him a playful shove, feeling lighter and more like herself than she could remember. He settled the horse back in the stable and walked Pearl to the front entrance under the awning, where they stood, watching the rain crash down.

“My house is right there,” Ben said, pointing to the cabin. “Want to come in and have something warm to drink?”

Pearl checked her watch. It was hours before work, and before Roy was expected, but she knew she should be home in case he was to arrive early. “I better not.”

Ben nodded. “Will you be back?”

Pearl thought about it, and decided to answer with her heart. “I hope so.”

Ben looked to Pearl and then straight ahead to the pouring rain. “Me, too.”

A bang on the plastic door shook Pearl out of her daydream. She was standing at the oven, stirring mashed potatoes for supper, when Vernie’s voice came echoing through the walls.

“You avoiding me, girl? Open up!”

Pearl cracked the door, after which Vernie pushed her way though. “In all hails and chimneys, it’s pouring outside! You gonna let me drown?” Vernie walked into the kitchen, setting down her paper bag with moonshine. Two short glasses appeared as if from thin air. Vernie poured herself and Pearl a glass of whiskey.
 

“You haven’t been up to see me,” Vernie said, her brow lifted as she looked at Pearl. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” She handed Pearl the glass. “It’s been four days.”

Pearl took the glass hesitantly, looking at the clock.
 

“He ain’t around,” Vernie verified, knowing Roy would probably be late again getting home tonight. She shuffled her plump body into the small plastic chair at the dining room table. Her house dress dripped from the downpour, her feet making puddles where they rested.
 

Pearl met Vernie’s questioning eye. “I know. I’ve just got my mind on supper, that’s all. Sorry, Vernie, I’ve been busy.”

“Busy,” Vernie huffed. “Since when have you been too busy for me? I’ll tell you when, when that fool of a husband of yours got a reality check.”

Pearl stood grounded where she was, afraid to get to comfortable. “He’s your nephew.”

Vernie took a drink. “Don’t remind me. Thought I’d do better with that one, but that blood of his runs thick and mean. Got too much of his daddy, which was just like my daddy, in him. Me, I’m sweet like Granny.” She smiled. “Light me a Virginia, will you, dear?”

Pearl gave in, starting a smoke for her and one for Vernie. She pulled up a seat at the table, sipping on her drink beside Vernie. “I’ve missed you,” Pearl confessed. It was true—she had felt lost these last few days without her dearest friend. She had been busy at Vinny’s and even sneaked in another day of horse riding with Ben, but nothing could compare to the ease she felt with Vernie.

Vernie patted the girl’s hand as it rested on the table. “That’s why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if he’ll like it, you being here.”

“Phooey,” Vernie said. “You let me deal with him. Thing with Roy is, he thinks he’s tougher than he is. He’s really just a fool. Boy doesn’t know how to hold his liquor.” Vernie lifted her glass. “There’s artistry to knowing your limit, which I have perfected.” She smiled while taking a sip. “I’ll get him straightened out, don’t you worry.”