Pearl (22 page)

“Do you want to tell me you don’t miss it?”

“I can’t see you, Ben,” she snarled, folding her arms across her chest. “I wish you could just let it go.”

He laughed lightly. “No, you don’t.”

She looked up to the challenge in his eyes, and she knew he had her there. He could always see right through her. He met her stare and held it. There was nothing she could say that would deny his words; just being near him made Pearl delirious. He knew this, and it killed her. He felt her tremble and reached his hand out to steady her.

“Ben, let her go!” Sammie cried out from the church doorway. “Pearl, I need you, now!”

Pearl jerked herself away from his grasp. She turned from him before he could utter a single word and ran to Sammie’s side. She vowed to avoid him the rest of the night. She could not endure this everlasting craving she felt from Ben. Once this wedding was over, there would be no need to see him again. She needed to find a way to release herself from this deceitful need of him.

“Oh, thank God you’re here, Pearl,” Sammie said, bringing Pearl into the room. Sammie crashed against the wall, her veil catching on the door hinge. She swiped at it, tearing the fragile fabric.

“Look at me!” she cried. Pearl did, and through the distress she could still say Sammie made a beautiful bride. Her dress was a form-fitting mermaid style that showed the slight bump of her belly. The heart-shaped bodice shimmered in sequins that suited Sammie perfectly. Her long wavy hair hung in rich dark curls over her bare shoulders. She was still incredibly sexy even for a woman about to have a child.
 

“I’m a fat pig in wedding dress made for a skinny girl who isn’t six months pregnant!” Sammie collapsed into a chair, dropping her head in her hands and sobbing.
 

“You look amazing,” Pearl said, kneeling beside her. “No one else could pull a dress like that off at six months.”
 

“You’re just saying that. I look hideous. Sam is going to run straight back down that aisle, laughing at me.”

“No, he won’t. Sam loves you and can’t wait to have a family with you,” Pearl promised.
 

Sammie looked up, her mascara streaking down her cheeks. “How do you know?”

“Because Ben just told me,” Pearl lied. Nevertheless, she still believed wholeheartedly in her words. It was the way that Sam watched Sammie in complete adoration, the way his body moved in rhythm with hers as though he was always there to protect her. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced with Roy.

“You swear?” Sammie asked with a hiccup.

“I swear,” Pearl said. “You make a gorgeous bride, and you will be an even better wife and mother.”
 

Pearl reached for a tissue. Carefully she dabbed the black beneath Sammie’s eyes. “Good as new.”

Sammie hugged her. “You’re such a good friend to me, Pearl.”

Pearl hugged her back. “Now, let’s go get you married.”

The ceremony went perfectly. Sam and Sammie vowed their eternal oaths while Sam kept one hand protectively on Sammie’s growing belly. The love they felt for each other, although new, was real. Pearl felt happy and just a little envious for her sweet friend. Pearl didn’t dare to look at Ben throughout the ceremony but could feel his eyes on her. She locked arms with him, releasing his clutch the moment the aisle came to an end. She sat in the Thunderbird, fighting the temptation to drive her car home rather than to the reception. But there was no way out for the matron of honor.
 

The party was held in an old barn on Sammie’s parents’ farm. The high, lofty beams were left exposed for the stars and moon to sparkle through. Creamy Christmas bulbs strung though the ceiling drifted down walls wrapped in sheer white fabric. The lighting was low and soft, elegantly showcasing the delicate pink flowers on the tables. A small dance floor placed just before the stage was surrounded by hay bales and tall candles. It was magical and romantic and everything Pearl dreaded to be surrounded by this evening. She found her way to the head table, where she smiled and played her part. She kept her eyes low, avoiding Ben’s constant stare, and yet always keenly aware of his presence. She clapped her hands and watched the door for Roy’s arrival, breathing a sigh of relief when dinner was finished and he hadn’t showed up. The band began to play, and Sammie and Sam took to the floor, the beautiful couple lost in each other as they swayed to the music. The melody stopped, and Pearl raised her glass just as the man on the mic asked for the matron of honor and best man to join the couple on the dance floor. Pearl’s fingers caught the stem as the glass slipped though her clammy grasp.

She watched Ben stand and look at her, smiling sheepishly. His eyes searched for any sign of rejection in her expression. She couldn’t give him any. Silently she took his hand as he led her to the dance floor. Gracefully they moved together as the singer mercifully asked other couples to join them. Pearl sighed in relief. She did not want her moment with Ben to be scrutinized by others.
 

She followed his lead, allowing herself to be swept away in his arms, lost in the moment of the sweet song. Ben wrapped his hand tenderly around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and she happily obliged. She was so tired of fighting him or fighting this desire for him. She wanted to cave, to wrap herself around him and never let go; she just knew the repercussions would be too dire.
 

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered in her ear.
 

She was grateful the music was too loud for him to hear her shortness of breath. She moved her cheek to rest lightly on his. He ran his fingers down the bareness of her back, and she shivered.
 

“It’s been unbearable to be away from you,” he said.

She nodded lightly in return, moving closer into his body until her feet were practically on top of his. He responded by gripping the back of her dress and holding her to him.
 

“I can’t breathe when you’re near,” she admitted quietly. “I can’t think straight.”
 

“I know.”

She hid her face in his neck, her breath against his ear. “And to see you with that girl? I about lost it right in the restaurant.”

Ben lifted his head to look at her, and she slowly met his eyes. “She’s nobody, Pearl. Just someone for a momentary distraction from you is all.”

“Did it help?” She asked weakly.
 

“Not for a second,” he admitted. “Think of how I feel, knowing you’re home with your husband.”

She flinched at the word, but not out of shame for betraying Roy with her emotions.
 

“Did this time away work? Did you fall back in love with him?” Ben asked, his face masked in dread and apprehension.
 

She shook her head, her eyes buried in his. “No,” she answered softly.

He wrapped his arms around her, continuing to sway to the music, but losing all perception of the crowd around them. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She felt the beat of his heart and inhaled his appealing aroma of aftershave and sweet hay. It brought her home.
 

“Come away with me. You can leave, tonight.” Ben’s words were fast, as though to not allow her time to think of a response. “There’s no reason to go back.”

She silently gasped at his words, but knew them to be true. She couldn’t think of one reason to return to the trailer.
 

She lifted her eyes to him and he rested a soft finger on her cheek, wiping away the single tear she didn’t know had fallen. She smiled at his touch, tilting her head into his palm and acknowledging with her eyes all that she couldn’t find the words to speak.

“I’m in love with you, Pearl,” he said, his voice strong and absolute. He gazed at her as he spoke with the fortitude of a protector, and she almost melted at the understanding that she was finally safe. In Ben’s arms there was never a reason to feel frightened again.
 

Without care for those who might see, she reached her hands behind Ben’s head and brought his lips to hers. She was lost in that moment as they stood, no longer bothering to dance as though they had something to hide. She tugged at his hair and reached up on her toes as she wrapped herself around him. He returned her fervor as he molded his body to hers. His lips parted, and she immersed herself in the warmth of his mouth. A moan escaped her just as his arms were ripped from her hold. She opened her eyes, her vision blurry, as she caught sight of jet-black hair. Her trance broke as she watched Roy’s fist hit the corner of Ben’s mouth. She heard a scream and felt the air escape her lungs. She rushed to Ben’s side, but her feet were lifted off the ground. She felt her belly slam into Roy’s protruding shoulder as he carried her out of the barn.

CHAPTER 20

Pearl beat her fists on Roy’s back as he dragged her from Sammie’s wedding reception. She pushed herself up as he held her against his shoulder. Her eyes scanned the bewildered crowd until they found Ben. He was trapped by the man named Joe she’d met at the restaurant, as well as another man she didn’t recognize holding back Ben’s arms. She screamed out for Ben as he thrashed wildly, trying to loosen the men’s grip. Roy stalked past the bewildered guests and a tearful bride as he crashed though the barn door to his truck. He didn’t speak a word, only tightened his hold on her as she kicked and screamed for help.
 

No one came to her rescue.
 

Her body fell into the passenger seat as Roy shut the door behind her. She opened the door, but he was too quick.

“Do it again, and you’ll lose an arm,” he snarled.

She scooted away from the door as he slammed it shut. She panted, wiping the sweat from her face. Her delicate swept-up hair was now a matted fallen mess, the straps of her dress torn at her shoulders. She searched for Ben, praying that any moment he would come crashing out of the barn to save her.
 

Roy jumped into the seat next to her, starting the truck. The tires swerved as he peeled out of the gravel road. He turned a fierce eye toward her, his winded breath matching the pace of her gasps. She glared back, and he spat through the open window.
 

“All I wanted was a dance with my wife,” he said, lighting a smoke. “And instead I find you whoring yourself out, making a fool out of me.”

“You’re the fool!” Pearl cried out. “You haven’t been faithful to me since before we were married.” She crossed her arms over her chest in defiance. “I just stopped caring.”

Roy took a drag off his cigarette. “Is that right? Probably around the same time you let that pathetic boy put his hands on you.” He took his palm and rested it on her thigh, hitching up her dress. “Tell me, baby, does he know how you like it?”

She pulled her leg from his slimy fingers. “Better than you do.”

The back of Roy’s hand slapped her face before she could see it coming. She cried out, clasping her fingers to her mouth as the taste of fresh blood salted her tongue.
 

The rage burst from her as she jumped to her knees, clawing her nails into Roy’s face. The truck swerved as he hunched in his seat, trying to get away from her wrath.
 

“Fucking bitch!” Roy snapped. “I should have left you in Arizona.”

He slammed on his brakes, causing her to fly off her seat onto the floor. He bounced from the truck and returned to her side, busting the door open, and grabbed at her hands. He yanked her to her seat and grasped her wrists firmly. He held a piece of twine used on the hay bales. She jerked from his grip, but his hands were too strong. He tied her wrists together so tightly the twine dug into her skin.
 

He faced her forward, snatching a can from the compartment console. He slid back to his seat, taking a swig, wiping the droplets of beer off his chin.

She breathed heavily, watching him intently. Her wrists burned, and she twisted her hands to try to loosen the rope.
 

Roy lit another smoke, his beer hand resting lightly on the wheel. There was no other car in sight. The dark night engulfed them in silence. She examined his rough features as they twisted in rage. The face she had once found so beautiful and striking now left her with no other feeling but revulsion.

“You can beat me all you want, but you can’t make me love you,” she stated.

Roy laughed humorlessly. “Sure is worth a try.”

Pearl refused to back down. “I mean it, Roy. I don’t love you. I don’t remember when I loved you. But it hasn’t been for a long time.”

Roy took a drag off his cigarette. “It’s that easy for you, huh?” He released the smoke slowly. “So what do you think you’re gonna do? Run off to be with him?”

She refused to answer, and he laughed.
 

“Running, running, running. It’s all you do. I guess it’s in your blood.”

Pearl spat at him.

He raised his hand to her. “Keep it coming, baby. You’re just enhancing my anticipation.”

They pulled into the driveway, an eerie climb to the trailer. Pearl feared entering their home. This was the time she knew without doubt she might not survive. She saw the light on at Granny’s old house and prayed that at least Darren or Cindy was there. Vernie’s front porch light was off, but Pearl couldn’t imagine where else she could be.
 

Roy shut off the engine, taking one last swig of beer before tossing the can on the truck floor bed. Pearl stared at him, the moonlight intensifying the black in his eyes.

“What are you going to do to me, Roy?” she taunted. “You gonna show me how much I want to stay? Be married to a man who all but kills his wife? Talk about in the blood.”

She knew she’d crossed the line, but she didn’t care. The frenzy of hatred toward Roy had been stirring in her for too long. She needed to purge herself of it in order to move on.

He was out of the truck and by her side in an instant. He growled as he lifted her from the cab and once again threw her over his shoulder. She didn’t hold back. She screamed and held her cry as long as her lungs would allow. She yelled for Darren, for Cindy, for Vernie, and for Ben. She hollered until Roy kicked in the trailer door and slammed her body to the ground.