No Going Back (19 page)

“Damn baby, your mouth feels so good wrapped around my dick. Do you like sucking my dick baby?” I don’t even try to answer that…verbally. I mean, why would I? There is no way he’d be able to understand the noise that would escape my mouth as it slides up and down him. Instead I decide to show him just how much I love it by pumping him faster with the hand that has been firmly planted on his shaft, making sure I don’t gag myself. Every now and then I mind the step-children. “I’m about to come Mallory. You better move.” I don’t. The decision to suck him off in my mouth was made before it was even there.

The way his body tenses and the little noises he lets escape as I feel him getting off in my mouth has me wanting more. I don’t take my head of his dick as I swallow and slowly suck up and down a few more times making sure I get everything there is. It’s not because it tastes good that I do this. Hell no. The jizz shit is nasty, but it’s more about him. It was about me wanting to fully please him. Like I know how he will now return the favor.

With my head still clasped in his hands, he pulls me up to him and kisses me recklessly, paying no attention to the new flavor that was added to my mouth. It’s definitely a flavor Sonic doesn’t have. He’s so into the moment and his desire for me that his tongue swipes mine, savoring every bit of it.

"You know, spitters aren’t quitters, Mallory," Seth says in a serious tone as he pulls his face away from mine.

“Okay,” I slowly drawl out, not sure where he’s going with this.

“As long as you keep the lid on the juicer, you're a winner in my book."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask. He shrugs as his mouth starts to turn into that sly smile of his that I find absolutely irresistible.

"You know, you don't jump ship before it's even docked. You keep the lava contained while it's erupting." Then he sighs. "As long as you let me nut in your mouth, I don't care what you do with the contents."

I laugh. “Well, that’s good to know, but for a reason that I’m now sure you’re aware of, I’m still gonna taste your residual nut juice in my mouth whether I spit it or down it.” He just shakes his head at the thought before claiming my mouth again.

His hands are all over my body, and before I know it I’m naked and straddling him — in his brothers fucking truck.

“Seth,” I say between kisses.
Mmmhmmm
is the only sound he replies with. “Babe, we can’t have sex in Derek’s truck.” He finally pulls back, trapping me with his gorgeous ocean blue eyes.

“We aren’t having sex in this truck.” He says. “We will never have sex again Mallory. No matter how we do it, I will always be making love to you. So shut up and let me make love to your hot body that I’ve been craving.” There’s no way I can protest to that.

I feel his erection growing long and strong, and I start grinding myself against him. Like I need to get any wetter. He feels so good, and that damn fucking piercing is rubbing every perfect nerve and is about to get me off just like that. I shudder against him as I come quick and hard. Seth being the man getting me off intensifies how good it feels.

He wastes no time, slightly lifting me up and positioning his dick at my eagerly waiting entrance. The way my insides are still reeling from that amazing orgasm, I feel like they’re chanting for him to push himself in me – hard.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this. Or how many nights I’ve dreamed for this feeling.” He runs his hand along my cheek and I lean into it. “Mallory, I fucking love you, and I will never —
NEVER
hurt you again. I promise.” He meets me halfway with his needy lips. Lips on lips, he pushes me down and thrusts himself into me all together in one swift move.

We both moan and sit still only for a moment, letting both our bodies take in this new sensation. I can only hope that damn barbell of his feels as good to him as it does me. The way it smoothly rubs up and down my insides will have me coming again in no time. Seth and I are chest-to-chest with my arms tightly wound around his neck and his tightly around my waist. I want to be as close as humanly possible to this man, and right now I think I have achieved that goal.

“You feel so good in me baby,” I whisper in his ear and he rewards me with a roll of his hips. “Ahh!”

“You like that baby? You like the way my dick feels in your tight pussy?” He tugs on my hair, pulling my head back enough to see in his eyes just how much he likes the way my pussy feels around his dick. Everything I’m feeling I can see he’s feeling it just as much. The way he’s staring at me I feel like I’m about to come just from the intensity of his hooded eyes. It’s a fucking turn on seeing how good I am making him feel.

“I love it Seth. I know you’re getting close,” I say breathlessly. “I want you to come in me.” He looks at me questioningly. I know what he’s thinking. “Don’t worry. You can’t knock me up.” I see what looks like sadness flash through his eyes right before he picks up the pace of his thrusts and digs his hands in my hips, driving us to our first release back together as a couple.

Two hours later we lie together in his bed. This overwhelming feeling of goodness in my heart that he is responsible for is home. Home Sweet Home.

“It’s crazy how quickly events can change,” I say as think about the past year.

“Whatcha mean?”

“Well, for example, the fact that I was about to get married earlier today. I just couldn’t go through with it. I hated, fucking hated, breaking Nick’s heart. But I couldn’t be who he needs. He needs someone who loves him with everything they have, and I don’t. How could I fully love him when you’ve always had my heart? No one wants to pay full price for something to only get a portion of what they paid for. I mean, that’s just stupid. You want to get more bang for the buck, not the other way around. That’s exactly what I told him too. I want him to be happy and find that person. I want him to pay two dollars and come out with the winning lotto ticket of life. He deserves it.” I sigh, feeling like I explained enough about what took place and my reasons behind it. “But what I never expected when walking back into that room was for you to be there. I had made the decision that I needed to find my own happy medium and to not depend on a man to make me feel whole…especially when the only man who’d be able to was you.” I look over at Seth who is listening intently. “It just seems like it was all a perfect sign. I had a revelation and then BAM, my dream came true because of it. Pretty trippy actually. I’m still hoping it’s not a dream and when I wake in the morning you won’t be gone.”

“I’m not going anywhere Mallory. I know I fucked up last time. But I’m done living in the past and letting regrets and mistakes control my life. You’re the only one who has ever made me feel what real love is supposed to feel like. You are the only one who cared enough to look deeper within me and to see me for more than who I portrayed. It’s always been you. Even when I couldn’t admit it.”

“What I’ve realized most through all of this is that we have to deal with shit. We can’t just ignore it. If something bothers us we need to hit it head on. Face our fears so to speak. If something is ever bothering you no matter how big or small, you don’t need to just get over it Seth.” I trace his jaw line with my finger, “You need to deal with it and I will be by your side through everything…if you want. It is the only way to move on. Avoiding life won’t do shit. And neither will just getting over something when your feelings are involved. What you feel fucking matters. Got it?”

“Got it,” he says before pulling me in for a deep kiss. I let out a contented sigh as I pull back.

“You know what I’ve missed the most while you’ve been gone?” I ask as I weave our fingers together, resting my head against his bare chest. His other hand is tucked away in my hair, just where I love it.

“What’s that?” he asks with a yawn.

“All the dirty pics and texts you used to send me. I think that’s why I fell for you,” I say with a laugh.

“Oh, so being away from me made you fall for me? Yeah, that makes perfect sense…NOT!” He tickles my side, causing me to wiggle like crazy.

“Stop!” He doesn’t. “Uncle, uncle! Truce! Anything! You win!” He still doesn’t stop. “Please stop Seth.” I pout. Finally, he stops. “Thank you,” I say as I prop myself up. “Anyways, like I was saying…”

I pause to take a moment to check out his bare chest before making my eyes focus on his. He’s got the whole ‘
you likin’ what you’re seein’
look in his eyes which causes me to blush. “It was the anticipation of what was to come when you arrived back home. It made me want you more than I even thought was possible. It made me want you and only you and kept me from giving out my goods. But more than anything, it showed me a side of you no one else saw. Yes, your dick in the pic is something I’m sure the whole freakin’ town has seen and then some, but it was what was behind it all. I knew you wouldn’t have bothered sending dirty pics or the random texts if you hadn’t cared about me. I knew it was more than just us being fuck buddies. It made me realize that maybe I wasn’t too crazy to have been falling for the pimp daddy of all pimps.”

“Pimp daddy? Huh. Never heard that one before. Male slut — yes, definitely.”

“So, that piercing of yours…” I ask and he turns towards me.

“You like it huh?” Cocky ass.

“Ah, yeah something like that.” I blush. “What made you get it?”

“Well, I knew how much you loved the prince I had and Jeff from Weathered Heights had gotten one and told me all about it. Said his woman fucking loves it. Told me you had to have a prince albert for a good six months to even be able to get one and well, I had had mine for a couple years so I was good to go. Badda Bing Badda Boom.”

“So, I’m not the first person who got to test yours out then?” I turn away from him, trying to hide the jealousy and hurt I’m suddenly feeling.

“Hey, look at me.” He uses his hand to guide my face back towards him. “Now listen, when I told you it was a gift for you I wasn’t lying. I made the decision awhile back that I was going to try to fix things with you. I haven’t had sex with anyone or let another chick see it for that matter. Only you. It’s all yours.” His lips are on mine.

I sigh. “Good, I’d hate for it to be tainted because it hits all the right spots…over and over again.” I close my eyes and bite my lip as if I can feel it deep inside me like it was only moments ago. He clears his throat and I snap my eyes open, catching the look of amusement all over his face. “Of course I like it. I fucking love it. I want you to bury yourself in me again. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.” He pushes me on my back and rests himself over me.

“Your wish is my command.”

It isn’t until the next morning when I wake up spooning him that I see it. It’s beautiful and brings tears to my eyes as I start to trace our baby girl’s name. It’s breathtaking. It’s a set of angel wings with a musical note between them and her name in cursive above it in pink on the back of his right shoulder. It’s so simple yet intricate. The meaning behind it hits me hard. My finger on Seth’s warm skin causes him to shiver. I reach up to place a kiss on her name and a tear slides down my check landing on the musical note as I do. Seth then turns his head my way making contact with my tear-laden eyes.

“I hope it doesn’t make you mad,” he says, turning around and wiping away my trail of tears.

“It does everything but make me mad Seth. I love that you even thought to do that. I never want her to be forgotten.” He wraps his hand around my neck and pushes up to kiss me before resting his head back on his pillow.

“Shortly after I left here when I had found out what happened with Allison, I had the thought to do it. I had just lost a child all over again because she lied to me…again. Then I lost ours. It was really fucking hard for me to deal with Mallory. I had so much shit coming down on me at once. I felt responsible for everything that had happened to you. It was just too much. And when it’s too much, I run. But I couldn’t not do something for both my kids that I will never get the chance to meet. I want to believe they are in a better place. What better place than to be surrounded by angel wings. So I got one on each shoulder blade as kind of a memorial for each of them. I wasn’t able to put a name on the other one, which is over here.” He rolls all the way away from me so I can see the identical tattoo that is nameless on his left shoulder blade.