No Going Back (23 page)

“That doesn’t go there. It goes over there.” I point telling one of the guys unloading our stuff.

Derek walks up behind me. “Chill the hell out Seth. It’s going to be fine.”

“I know. But damn, I’m nervous as fuck. What if I embarrass her? Or this pisses her off?”

He cocks his head to the side and smirks. “Do you really think Jesika would have told you she’d love it if she won’t?”

“Fine. I’ll quit second guessing myself. How much longer until all the fans get here?” I pull my phone out and check the time and text Mallory while I’m at it.

Me:
Don’t be burning that sexy lil body of yours babe.

Mal:
Don’t worry hunny. I had some guy wearing a speedo lather me up with sunblock.

Me:
Alright. See ya soon. I love you. Always know that.

Mal:
I love you too, Seth.

“People are already starting to line up. They were told to be here an hour before the show started to so they could be fully informed of what to do,” Derek replies.

“Alright, well let’s do this.” We walk towards the front of the venue where they have our table set up for the meet and greet. Wesley and Connor are already up there interacting with some of the fans. Derek had told me he’s not participating in the actual signing since he’s not the one who tours with us and the fans don’t actually know him.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” I yell, and it takes a moment for all talking to cease. There are a good fifty or more people here. “Okay, thanks. So, were going to do things a little differently tonight. I have a huge favor to ask you guys.”

All plans are in place and in ten minutes we are to take the stage. It’s dimly lit, giving it that intimate type feeling. Mallory walks up behind me and slides her arms around me, pressing her head against my back. I cover her arms with mine and take in how good she feels so close to me. I know tonight is going to be amazing. I love this woman more than anything in this world and I want her to know it. I want her to feel it and see it. They say actions speak louder than words.

I turn around with her arms still around me and place my hands on her face lifting it up to look at me. “You know I love you, right?” She nods with a smile. “Okay, just making sure. Because I fucking love the hell out of ya.”

“I love you too. Time for ya to go babe. Hurry back, because watching you sing makes me so fucking horny.” She licks her lips while grabbing my semi-hard cock.

“Damn baby, don’t send me on stage with a raging wood.” She laughs and swats my ass when I turn to walk on stage. “I’ll call you out when it’s time to do our song.”

Taking my place on my stool, I grab my guitar and adjust the microphone. “Hey guys! How are y’all doing tonight?” The crowd starts yelling. “Sounds like y’all are ready to have a good fucking time. I’m gonna start by introducing you to the band. We have a very special appearance for you guys tonight. I’m so fucking excited to have my brother Derek here playing the drums with us. Not many people know that he is the king dick behind all the drumming on the album. Everything you hear, he created. He is the man. We let Wesley take the night off . Over here to my left is Connor on the bass and I’m Seth, and we are The Rifters.” They erupt in more yelling and Derek starts tapping his drum sticks together.

I wait for my cue and then let the strumming take over. I’m always instantly taken to another element as soon as the music starts. The set list I wrote up for tonight is mainly all new songs since we are promoting the new album. I threw in a couple of our older ones, because as a music junkie myself you always want to hear the songs that made you the damn band in the first place. I have a mini break in place for around six songs in since we are only playing ten.

I try really hard to keep from turning my head and watching Mal the whole time. She’s dancing and singing right along with Jesika and I wish I could just watch her all night. I’m one lucky bastard to have her by my side.

“Are you guys enjoying the show?” Of course they are. “Well, hey, I’m gonna let the boys take a real quick break and I’ll play an acoustic while they are gone.” I turn to the guys. “Alright boys, don’t leave me by myself for too long, okay?” They laugh. “Actually, I have a very special guest who agreed to sing with me tonight.” The crowd cheers. “Mallory, will you come help me out babe?” The crowds cheering turned to awing instantly.

“This song we’re going to sing is very meaningful to me. Have any of you ever loved someone, but were scared as fuck to ever admit it?” They all clap and whistle. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. It fucking sucks, huh? It sucks worse when you let that stand in your way. This song is about making the decision to not let the bull shit keep you back from what you want…from what you love.” I look at Mallory. “Are you ready?” She nods. I place my fingers on the notes and slowly start strumming away.

The first verse is all me and it’s all pain. It represents all the hurt I’ve felt in my life that caused me to turn the way I did before I met Mal. Mallory joins me in the chorus — the chorus that chants how the choice is yours…the one that says don’t let your past dictate your future. I can tell she’s unsure at first as I look over at her and watch her sing with her eyes closed. The next verse is hers and I’m sure she’s nervous. I keep my gaze on her as I watch her eyes start to open as she fucking owns her part of the song. I can hear the edge in her voice as she talks about wanting what you can’t have. Losing hope of ever having true happiness.

She blows my fucking mind away. She’s a damn natural. I quickly join her again in the chorus that leads into the last verse — the one we sing together. It’s our verse. I tweaked it since I had first written the song to make it personally fit us since we found our way back to each other. This last verse of the song holds so much meaning to how I feel about the woman standing next to me. I turn to face her tuning out the crowd and she does the same as we sing to each other the words we thought we’d never get to say. The words that speak higher volumes than just saying
I love you
. This song is our anthem to each other. It shows how all the shit we had to go through, in the end, made us stronger —
indestructible.

“Whew. I hope y’all liked that one.” I take a drink of my water. “I want to introduce you to the woman who inspired that song. This woman owns every part of me. This woman opened me up to loving again and showed me that it’s okay to be scared. Anyways, Mallory, will you say hi?” I ask as she’s walking back towards the side of the stage where she had been standing. She turns around, shaking her head no with a nervous look in her eyes. “Come on babe, just real quick. You just sang in front of these guys, no being shy now. Please, don’t make me beg.” The crowd starts chanting ‘
BEG BEG BEG, make him BEG’
. “Fine.” I get down on my knees and hold my hands together. “Pu-lease come back out here Mallory.” I see my victory as soon as she releases the death grip she had on her arms that she had locked across her chest. She mouths “I hate you” as she makes her way on stage.

I stand up and pull her in for a kiss. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” She smiles.

“Well you better not. I have a question I need to ask you.” She looks at me with confusion. “Crap, I dropped something.” I’m lying trying to throw her off of why I’m dropping down to my knee in front of her. I grab her hand and look up at her, and I see the tears forming in her eyes as her other hand instantly goes to her mouth. “Mallory, I’ve made a shit load of mistakes in my life, but the only ones I have ever regretted are the ones that deal with you. I regret when I ran when you wanted more. I regret not telling you how I really felt when you poured your heart out to me. I fucking hate that I let stupid bull shit keep me from you, but my biggest regret is leaving you when you needed me the most. You have forgiven me for so much and I honestly don’t deserve you…but I’ll be damned if I waste one more minute not making you mine forever. I love you foxy with everything I never even knew I had within me. You make me a better man and I promise to be the best fucking husband ever. Mallory…”

“WILL YOU MARRY ME?” The crowd all shouts at the same time.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

*MALLORY*

“Are you really asking me to marry you? Like seriously? Are you sick? Do you have a fever? Let me feel your head.” He smacks my hand away and laughs.

“Mallory, I’m not fucking sick. I want you to be my wife. Why does that sound so crazy?” Really? He has to ask that. I laugh nervously. Why am I nervous?

I remember that we are on stage and the crowd is so quiet you could hear a feather drop. I’m not sure that’s even possible, but that’s how quiet it is. I slowly scan my surroundings, and as I do the smile slowly creeps up on my face and is full blown once my eyes are resting back on Seth…who hasn’t moved from his kneeled position. My slow nodding is quickly replaced with what I’m sure resembles a bobble head on crack, and I don’t even care that I might suffer whiplash related side effects from my excitement. He quickly stands, and before he can embrace me in a hug I jump up on him like a spider monkey and grab his face before deeply kissing him.

“YES! Seth. Fucking YES! I will marry you.” He then pulls the most amazing ring out of his pocket and slips it onto my finger.

After the show we walk hand in hand behind Derek, Jes and the rest of the band to the local bar. It’s a Thursday night, close to eleven, so it shouldn’t be too busy. Seth nudges my shoulder. “So, why was it such a fucking shock that I’d ask you, the woman I love, to be my wife?”

“Do you need me to run down the list of why I was debating driving your ass down to the crazy hospital? I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me to keep me Seth. I’m happy with the way things are. I’m scared to death that once the reality of this sets in that you will book it. I can’t live with you becoming a runaway groom.” There it is. My deep dark secret that says this is too good, that it can’t be real or that it won’t last forever. Nothing ever does. Not for me anyways. I don’t want to ruin a good thing. If there’s a slight chance that tying the knot will do just that, then fuck that marriage bullshit.

“Mallory,” he says as he stops walking and forces me to turn and face him. “I know you’re scared. I know because I am scared too. We share the same insecurities. We’re both afraid of getting hurt in the end. But I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere. I’ve had to live without you. It was the worst time of my life…letting the bullshit keep me from being happy. I’m done with all of that. You’re the only woman who has ever truly loved me and wanted to know the real me. You love me…all of me and no one else could ever love me the way that you do. And there’s no fucking way I’m going to chance any other man getting to know what it’s like to love you and to be loved by you. You’re the ying to my yang. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly. You’re the shoelaces to my shoes. You are my everything. You were made for me. We were made for each other. I want you from now until forever.”

He’s always been the only man for me. He is my future. “There’s just one question that I have to ask before I fully commit to this.” He has a puzzled look on his face.

“Okay. What’s that?”

“Do you have good credit? Because mine is shit and I can only marry a man with good credit.” I wrap my arms around him and close pull him to me close what little distance was there. “I’m going to marry you Seth Jordan and have all of your babies. Is that okay with you?”

“It’s the best damn thing I have ever heard,” he says before claiming my mouth.

“Get a room.” We both turn to see the gang stopped and waiting for us.

The bar is crazy packed. Maybe it’s because it’s a college town and it’s pretty much summer time. The girls are wearing barely-there clothes that cover up their barely-there bikinis. What happened to leaving something to the imagination? Sheesh. I’m pretty sure that means more than just letting the guy wonder your nipple size and the shade of your rug downstairs or if you even have one for that matter. Who am I kidding? It was just last year when I use to dress just like these bar floozies. Dressing like that is what caught Seth’s attention as well. The thought of that has me wondering if that’s how he’d rather me dress. If these chicks walking around flaunting their goods rev up his motor. If they’re the type of girls he used to fuck on tour. I usually try to not let my mind go to the time we were apart, but being here now with these girls all over these guys’ nuts has it wandering to places it shouldn’t be.

“I’m gonna go get us a drink real quick.” Seth leans in kissing my cheek before Jesika and I are left near the back of the bar where it’s less crowded.

“I’m so excited for you!” Jesika is beaming with joy. “I can’t wait to plan the wedding. I hope y’all hurry up and do it and start making babies. I want to be an auntie. Who would have thought we’d be sister-in-laws?” she squeals, taking me in for a hug.

“I love you Jes. You’re gonna be the best damn auntie ever!”

“Ahem.” Jesika both turn and look towards where the annoyed sound came from. “Excuse me.” A busty brunette pushes past us on her way to the pool table. She’s wearing some tie dye jean shorts with her ass checks hanging out and a plaid pearl snap shirt, that isn’t snapped by the way, it’s tied in a knot right underneath her tits that are begging for attention.

“Yeah, excuse you,” I mumble.

“What’d ya say?” She quickly turns around to face me.

Are you fucking serious? The night of my engagement I’m gonna get in a knock down drag out fight. Fucking great. I take a step towards her showing her that I’m not intimidated by the fact that she’s a good five inches taller than me.

“Are you askin’ cuz you didn’t hear me or cuz you’re wanting to see if I have the balls to repeat myself?”

“Oh, I heard you Barbie, and honestly I figured you’d have to have pretty big balls to marry such a player,” she hisses.

I look over at Jes and laugh, “Oh yeah, what do you know about my fiancé’ anyways?”

She lowers her head near my ear, making sure I don’t miss a word. “I know how big his cock is. I know how it feels going in and out of my pussy. I know how to get him off in like thirty seconds flat. What do you know about him?”