No Going Back (15 page)

Roger, our manager, calls me as I’m working on a new song. When I’m in the flow I cannot have any distractions, so even though it will piss him off, I ignore the call. Connor’s phone instantly starts buzzing.

“Ignore it,” I tell him. We continue our back and forth with the guitar and bass along with what Derek had already sent me back and I’m fucking thrilled with how it is turning out. This could be one of our best songs yet. It seems like the songs that hold so much meaning are the ones that end up being the best.

Wesley walks to the back room of the bus where we are working with his phone in hand. “Dude, Seth, Roger is on the phone.” He places his hand over the area you talk into. “He’s super pissed you ignored his call. He says he’s got important news that you want to fucking hear that is time sensitive, and if you don’t talk to him you can say goodbye to your career.” I stick my hand out, reaching for his phone.

“Hey, Roger. Wesley tells me you have some important news.”

“Fuck yeah I do Seth. I have news you’ve wanted to hear since you were in diapers.” That’s doubtful. “You know that recording label I was telling you about? They’re actually the same one Weathered Heights signed up with last year.”

“Yeah, I do. What about them? Did they sign another big band?” I shift on the bed as Connor and Wesley eagerly watch my every twitch, begging with their eyes to know what’s being said. I take the cue and put the phone on speakerphone. We are a fucking band, they should be included just as much as me.

“Hell yeah baby! They want to sign The Rifters to a three cd contract, and money negotiations are still underway depending on what you guys say.” He’s fucking on cloud nine. I’m sure it’s because he’ll get a pretty cut of this said negotiation.

I look at Connor and then to Wesley who is excited even though he won’t be the one recording the drumming. That will be all Derek. Wesley is just a fill in until Derek comes to his senses and realizes he’s missing out on his dream and loads his family up to live on the road. Lame, I know. Just wishful thinking on my part. Even though Wesley is just a filler, a damn good one at that, I value his opinion. They are both nodding at me in unison.

“Alright. Well, once you get all the details we need to meet up and go over them.” We all started giving each other congratulatory hand smacks. I know I can’t control the shit eating grin that’s made its home on my face.

After we calm down some I pick up my phone and dial Derek’s number.

“Yeah man?” he answers, seeming a bit out of sorts.

“You’ll never fucking believe it!” I shout. This is my brother. The one who started this whole music journey with me. I wouldn’t be here without him. “We’re getting signed.” The other end of the phone is quiet. “Hey, did you hear me? We’re getting a fucking record deal man!”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Congrats man.” He still doesn’t act as happy as he should.

“Dude, what the hell is wrong? Aren’t you happy? This involves you too man. You are a part of the creative process.”

“Yeah, I’m excited,” he sighs. “There’s just a lot going on here since you’ve left is all.”

“What could be going on that’s important enough to keep your ass from bouncing off the wall with excitement over what I just told you?”

“Fine, you want to know? I’ll tell you everything. Like I want you hearing all of it from someone else.” He inhales a deep breath before quickly saying, “Mallory moved in with Nick.”

Shit, even though it took me a few seconds to catch on to what Derek had just said, it kind of takes my breath away once it hits me. Like a swift kick to the nuts, it takes you a bit to recover.

“Are you there Seth?” I nod as if he can see me.

“Umm, yeah, sure I’m here. Heard ya loud and clear. Mallory and douche nozzle are fucking real deal and she’s now living with him.” I fall back onto the bed, allowing my arm to drape over my eyes.

I somehow managed to dose off after I got off the phone with Derek. My phone buzzing next to me wakes me up and I answer without even looking at caller I.D. assuming it’s just Derek calling me back to burst my bubble even more.

“What?” My tone comes out a lot ruder than I had intended.

“Hey, Seth. Sorry if this is a bad time.” Pretty sure anytime would be a bad time for her to call me.

“I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later,” I mumble

“I’m sorry I never told you about Doug, Seth. When I got pregnant with you I didn’t even tell him. Things were so screwed up. I was young, and scared. I loved Daryl, but I was in love with Doug. We got hit with the sad sap story of people being on two different sides of the track. We let that keep us apart. By the time he knew you were his, he was already married and so was I. Daryl is his half-brother, we both weren’t going to hurt him by coming clean after so long.”

“So, just because you couldn’t tell Daryl, it means that you had to keep it from me even when I was older? Even when he was in prison and it didn’t matter anyways?” I sit up on the bed.

“Like I said, he had a family too.” She pauses, “Doug that is. We both had agreed that you should just not know. It was selfish and I do regret not telling you, but as time passed on it seemed more wrong to bring it up. I did a lot of things wrong Seth, that I would go back and change if I could. I made sure Doug stayed as far away as I could control, which doesn’t mean it happened. He was the reason you and Derek played so many sports. There was no way I could afford all of that stuff, but other than that I refused the money he offered. Maybe I should have accepted it and gave you and Derek a better life. That’s another regret I carry around. But I’d like to think you guys turned into amazing men who I am greatly proud of.” The sadness is evident in her voice as she starts to choke up.

I can tell she truly does feel awful. But it still doesn’t change the facts. “I’m still fucking heated about the whole damn situation. But I get it. As much as I fucking hate it, I get it.” My admission sparks a bit of hope in her voice.

“That makes me so happy Seth. I’m tired of living in past regrets. Life is too short to hold tight to grudges.” Isn’t that the truth?

Chapter Nineteen

*MALLORY*

Today is our day of rest. Summer is coming to a close, so we are taking advantage of this last warm weekend we have to enjoy together with his crazy work schedule. We decided to go to the river for the weekend — the Illinois River. While Nick is getting all of our camping gear loaded up in his truck, I’m making sure to get all of our clothes we will need and pack the cooler full of drinks and sandwich stuff. I’m probably going a little overboard in the junk food area, but I can’t take the chance of not grabbing enough. It’s far better to have more than not enough, especially when you’re bringing a child with you. Nick had made arrangements with his son’s aunt to pick him up on our way out. She’s the one who raises his son anyways, and there’s really not a damn thing he can do about it. Even lawyers say as long as someone willingly takes care of him, it’s not abandonment on the mother’s part. That’s the fucking stupidest thing I have ever heard by the way. How can a mother not raise her kid, yet still get the child support for the kid and not even use it on that child? Fucking ridiculous.

I walk outside to with bags when I hear Nick in a heated argument.

“Why can’t I take him? Are you actually going to be a mother for the fucking weekend?” He slams the driver’s side door and gives me a sympathetic look. He doesn’t have to feel bad about being mad. By the sound of it, he has every right to be. Plus, it’s not like he’s mad at me. “Whatever,” he says before tossing his phone in the truck through the open window. I watch as it lands on the seat with a few bounces.

“Is everything okay?” I walk up to him, resting my hands on his chest. He finally looks down at me and rubs my cheek.

“Yeah, nothing I can do about it. She likes to act like a mom by using our son to get her way with everyone. It seems as soon as she heard we had plans and were taking him with us, she had to get in the way.” He sighs. “The worst part is she won’t have him the whole time. He will just sit at his aunt’s house all weekend playing video games.”

I reach up on my toes and give him a kiss. “I’m sorry you have to deal with someone like that. It’s not fair to you or Maddox.”

“I’m just glad she hasn’t scared you off yet.” I hear the uncertainty in his voice.

I give him a weak nod, trying to reassure him that nothing will send me packing even though I can’t guarantee it.

We leave our small town and head towards the city. Our final destination is a good hour away on the other side of it. Once we make it through the city, the drive becomes more peaceful. Driving down the windy tree covered Highway 10 with the windows down and the music cranked up is almost freeing. During that time you’re able to forget about the outside world and all the insecurities that you hold. Living in the moment is all that matters. Being with Nick is all that matters. I love him, but that doesn’t mean my mind never drifts to thoughts of Seth. It does more often than I would like for it to. The thought of him with his meaningless hook ups and the fact that he’s over me and wants nothing to do with me hurts. It also pushes me closer to Nick, and faster. Petty, I know, but I can’t help it.

We pass by many of the campgrounds that host the floating trips before coming to one that’s a little farther out and less crowded. The fact that it isn’t swamped with all the party goers is a huge plus. I’m not a spring chicken anymore and I’d rather not be kept up all night by loud music, drunken yelling and slutty moans. Even though I’m no longer what some might consider a slut, if anyone is going to be letting out any sort of moaning tonight, it’s going to be me, and preferably in some privacy. With that being said, I make sure that Nick picks out what seems to be a hidden location. Only one picnic table around is a good sign this area wouldn’t get overcrowded since we are here first to stake our claim.

The outdoors is where Nick was born to thrive. This is his element and he’s completely pumped. He’s taking in his surroundings while looking for a good shady spot to set up camp. He just looks so cute. I can’t resist walking up behind him and wrapping my arms around him.

“I think your parents should have named you Bear. You’d totally kick ass on Survivor babe.” He turns around to face me.

“Is that so? Do you honestly think you’d be with me if I was named Bear? It’s kind of a dumb name,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Well, seeing as though I’m not with you because of your name, it’s very possible I could have looked past you being named after an animal…a scary animal.” I lean up and give him a peck on the lips.

He raises his eyebrow giving me a curious expression. “Then why are you with me?” He places a kiss on each of my hands that he’s been holding on to before releasing them. I want to say
because you’re comfortable
.

“Hmm.” I tap my chin. “I think it has a lot to do with this hot body of yours.” I rub my hands up and down his chest, earning me his sexy smile. He knows he’s hot, but it’s his personality on top of it that makes him a one of a kind. “See, you know you’re sexy as hell. But it wasn’t your booty or your beauty that won me over.” I pause. “It was what’s in here.” I rest my hand on his heart and then reach up to kiss him.

Nick has a way with his tongue, like the way he lightly licks my lips as if he’s quietly begging me to let him in. He takes his time with everything he does. He isn’t needy or rough. I kind of miss the roughness I was growing use to with Seth, but I do enjoy the tenderness Nick is all about. It’s as if he’s scared to hurt me…like he’s going to break me. Yes, I’m small dammit, but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it hard. I pull myself back before our kissing turns into much more, but by the hardness in his trunks that’s pressed up against me, I can tell what he wants which he will be waiting until later for.

“Whoa buddy. I need you to pitch our tent, not pitch your own tent.” I giggle.

“I can’t help what you do to me Mal. The way you turn me on is only the visible part of what you make me feel.” I do know how much he loves me — it’s more than I deserve.

The sun was starting to set when we made it down to the river bank to do some swimming. There wasn’t anyone around where we were and I made sure to take advantage of it. There’s something incredibly sexy about doing it out in the open in the water. Maybe it’s the thrill of being caught. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I kind of have a fetish for water sex. I mean it’s not like water is the best lube by any means, but it’s not like the dude is going to fucking last forever either. The fact that the girl is not all modest turns them on like double time. You, the chick, are actually lucky to get off from it. But no matter what, it’s still fucking hot.

When he’s not looking I come up behind him, not hiding or trying, to play around with what I’m wanting. I go right straight for the goods. As soon as my hand is on his dick it’s twitching and getting hard. I like the way they jump sometimes. Almost as if your hand is a magnet for it, or like a dog begging for a snack. It does a little silent bark begging to be petted.

I pull his trunks down just far enough where his ass is partially exposed yet his cock is on full display. I take a step closer to him, encouraging him to go a little further out into the water. I want us to be at least waist deep. I want it to be as if I’m floating up and down on his cock once my legs are wrapped around him. When we are deep enough, I move myself around so I am now standing facing him. The look on his face mixed with his wet hair and body melts me…between the legs. Knowing I’m responsible for the pleasurable look plastered on his face has me hopping up and resting my thighs against his hips as his hands grab my ass to firmly hold me in place.

Our kisses are wet and desperate. He loosens his grip just enough for me to have the room to rock back and forth over his cock.

“You feel so good,” I whimper. The sensations of his hardness against me where only a bathing suit separates us from being skin to skin is about to send me over the edge, not to mention the mixture of chilled water rushing between and all around us. He dips his head down, kissing from my neck to my chest. He uses his nose to expose each breast as he claims each one, kissing my nipples the same way he kisses my lips; slow and sweet, making sure to take his time before lightly biting the sensitive skin.