My Sweetest Escape (38 page)

I’m on her side. You lose.”

With that, she pivoted on her heel and

went to the laundry room in the back and

shut the door.

“You might want to take off your boots.

Darah will skin you alive if she finds out that

you tracked water all over her clean floors.”

This wasn’t actually true. I couldn’t imagine

Darah even threatening to do such a thing,

but Dusty shucked his boots off and put

them next to mine. Seeing him in his socks

reminded me of sliding around in his

apartment and how much fun we’d had.

No, bad thoughts, Jos. Gotta shut those

suckers down.

We went back into the living room and

sat on the couch.

This talk was going to be very different

from the one I’d had with Renee, that was

for sure.

“So let me get this straight,” he said,

holding his hands up, as if he was asking me

to slow down. “You told your sister that you

don’t feel the same as me.”

Time for Oscar-worthy acting

performance number two.

“I did because it’s true.” My lines

sounded like something out of a bad play. A

really bad one. Like, not even

community-theater caliber. More like a

crappy high school production that the kids

had been forced to participate in for an

English grade.

“Joscelyn.” I shivered as he said it.

“What? It’s true. I am putting you firmly

in the friend zone, where you belong. I got

carried away, and when I sat down and

thought about it, I decided that it wasn’t

something I wanted. With you. I have a lot

going on right now, and I don’t think this is

the wisest choice. You know, even if I

wanted it.” I could see the reviews now.

Joscelyn Archer is the
worst thing to happen

to theater since
Cats!…
I got up and

walked
out and demanded a refund…This

girl has no talent and will never
act in this

town again.

I peered at Dusty out of the corner of

my eye. I couldn’t make eye contact with

him directly, because I would have blinked

too much, or given some other sign that I

was lying.

He was silent for a second, watching me.

“You have got to be shitting me. Do you

honestly think I would believe that? If so,

then you must think I’m pretty fucking

stupid.”

No, I didn’t think he was stupid. He was

too smart for his own good.

The smile on his face this time was one

of confused bewilderment. It was too

adorable.

I went with the truth.

“I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“So why are you doing this to me? You

kissed me not that long ago, and that kiss is

sort of the opposite of what you’re telling

me right now, and I’m thinking if I kissed

you again right now I’d get the same

reaction as before. Your voice is saying one

thing and your lips and your body are saying

another. Do I have that right?”

Well, yeah. He did.

“Dusty.”

“No, Red. I wanna hear this. Tell me why

we can’t be together.” He sat back as if he

was waiting for me to put on an encore

performance. I was kind of at the end of my

rope.

“Why do you have to make this so hard

on me? If you were just…a jerk or you

smelled bad or you didn’t say nice things it

would be so much easier.” I got up from the

couch and went to the recliner so I could

have some distance from him. Also to get

away from his smell.

“Maybe it’s hard because you’re

attracted to me. And you don’t put people

you’re attracted to in the friend zone.”

“Some people do.” I was certain that, at

some point in history, someone,

somewhere, had put someone they were

attracted to in the friend zone for one

reason or another.

There had to be a precedent.

“Okay, I’m going to talk now, and you

can listen to what I’m going to say and tell

me if I’m on the right track or not.

Okay?” he said.

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Proceed,” I said, waving my hand.

“We were going along just fine a few

days ago. If you remember, you were the

one who wanted to take this to the next

level, correct?”

I nodded.

“I kissed you, you kissed me back, things

got a little intense. We both wanted it.

Correct?”

I nodded again.

“And then, for reasons unknown to me,

you freaked out and left my house, and now

you are trying to come up with anything

you can possibly come up with to get me to

go away, even though you still want to be

with me, based on the kiss. Correct?”

“That’s not exactly—” He cut me off.

“Yes or no?”

I glared at him.

“Yes.”

“So what I need to do is find out what

occurred to make you change your mind. If

my memory serves, you went into my

bedroom to get Napoleon and decided to

snoop around—”

I tried again to interrupt him, but he

held his hand up.

“Just let me finish and then you can

comment. So, you were in my room and

picked up a picture of me and my brother

and dropped it. I came in to find you looking

like you were scared for your life, and then

you shoved my cat at me and ran out the

door without your shoes on. Correct?”

I had to swallow a few times before my

voice would work.

“C-correct.”

“So it seems, from my view of the

events, that the moment when you decided

was when you saw and then dropped the

picture. So. What was it about that picture

that caused you to drop it in the first place?

What could a picture of me and my brother

do to freak you out that much? Let’s look at

this in depth, shall we? You have seen me.

You have kissed me. You know what I look

like.” At this point, I felt like I was on the

witness stand in one of those cop dramas,

and he was the hard-ass lawyer

cross-examining me about what happened

the night of June 14. He would make a great

lawyer.

“So it couldn’t have been me that led

you to freak out, and the only other one in

the picture is my brother.”

I was beyond stupid to think that he

wouldn’t figure this out after my freak-out

from seeing the picture. I shouldn’t have

left. I should have pretended that I’d gotten

an emergency phone call. Hell, I should

have told him I was a virgin. That might

have done it. In fact…

“I’m a virgin,” I blurted out. It was better

him knowing that than finding out the

truth. Embarrassment would trump the

hatred he would have for me if he really

knew. Why hadn’t I thought of this before?

It was perfect!

“I’m a virgin and I was in your room, and

looking at your bed made me think of sex,

and I realized that I wasn’t ready and I was

scared and that’s why I left. It had nothing

to do with the picture.” For the love of

GOD, please buy it, Dusty.

He looked at me really hard, and I, for

the first time ever, was glad that my face

and ears were turning red. It was more

from fear that he wouldn’t buy it than from

embarrassment about revealing I still had

my V card. But he didn’t have to know that.

“Seriously? That’s what you were

freaking about?” Sweet Jesus H. Christ, he

bought it. I heaved an internal sigh of relief.

“Well, yeah. I know I was, like, all over

you, but I got thinking about it and I guess I

lost it. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, but you

can see why I wouldn’t.”

Now he looked confused again.

“Why?”

“Because I know, for a fact, that you’ve

been with plenty of girls before, so you’re

probably used to…girls with more

experience. And I barely have any.” Okay, I

was actually embarrassed now. That wasn’t

part of the plan.

“Oh, my God. I cannot believe I just told

you that.” I put my head in my hands.

“Hey, hey,” he said, coming over and

pulling them away.

“You have absolutely nothing to be

ashamed of. I kind of guessed, but I was

waiting for you to say something. If you’re

worried about me, don’t be. It doesn’t

matter that you haven’t been with anyone

else. It wouldn’t matter to me if you’d been

with a hundred guys. Just the fact that you

wanted to share that moment with me

means…everything. You mean everything to

me, Jos, and I don’t want to lose you. Even

when you try to lose me.”

He gripped my hands tight and moved

his face close to mine. I knew he was going

to kiss me, and this time, I was going to stop

it.

“Dusty, I can’t. I’m sorry. There are

just…things that are standing in the way.

Too many things. I don’t want to ruin what

I’ve got here, and I’m afraid to screw things

up and you’re too important to me. So if I

can avoid fucking up what we have already,

which is great, then I’d like to do that.

Because what if we do this, and it

doesn’t work out? Then what? You

wouldn’t be able to come here anymore.

Hunter would be put in a horrible position

and I just… I don’t want to not see your face

anymore. I couldn’t handle that.” Wow,

I didn’t even know I felt that way until I

said it out loud.

Why hadn’t I just said that in the first

place?

He opened his mouth to argue, but shut

it quick and made that frustrated sound

that was a bit like an explosion.

“I get it. I get that, and I understand it.

Doesn’t mean I have to like it, but if that’s

what you want, that’s what I’ll do.

However and whenever I get to be in

your life…I’ll take what I can get. I want you,

any way I can get you. I guess you’re my

new addiction.” He smiled, but it wasn’t a

happy smile.

“I’m sorry you’re hooked on me. I’d

suggest a support group, but I don’t think

they have Joscelyn Addicts Anonymous.”

“That’s more than okay. You’re the one

addiction I can live with.” I felt like I should

reach out and touch his face, but that

would probably lead to more kissing and

that would undo all of the things I’d just

said.

He let go of my hands and went and sat

on the other end of the couch.

“So what do you think? Can we put

Renee out of her misery and tell her that

she can come in now?”

I heard rustling in the back room and I

knew she was pretending not to listen, but

we all knew that’s exactly what she was

doing, if only to make sure I was okay. I

nodded and turned my head.

“Renee! You can come out now.”

She dashed out as soon as she heard her

name.

“You okay?” Her eyes went from me to

Dusty and back.

“I’m fine. We’ve talked and everything is

okay. No need for threats or pitchforks or

mobs of angry villagers,” I said.

Renee gave me a look and Dusty

shrugged.

“I don’t know where she gets it from,”

Renee said.

“I don’t really care where it comes from.

I just want to be with it wherever it’s

going,” Dusty said. I shot him a look. He

wasn’t supposed to say things like that

anymore.

He wasn’t supposed to say heart-melty

things in front of my sister when I’d placed

him very firmly into the friend zone.

Was he screwing with me?

“Sorry,” he mouthed, but he didn’t look

the least bit sorry.

The doorbell rang again and Renee went

to answer it.

“Honestly,” she said as she let the rest

of the household back in.

I got up and smacked him in the chest.

“You’re not supposed to say stuff like

that, you idiot,” I said as everyone piled in

carrying bags and trays of foam coffee cups

and several boxes of Munchkins.

“We got you a chai, Little Ne,” Mase

said, handing me one of the cups.

“Thanks, Mase.” I sipped the chai and it

was sweet and warm. Dusty grabbed a cup

of black coffee and searched for all the

jelly-filled Munchkins before someone else

stole them.

Two seconds ago he’d been flirting with

me, but now he was acting like I didn’t exist.

What the crap.

“You okay?” Taylor said, sidling up to

me. “That was pretty…heated earlier.”

“I’m fine. Dusty and I had a chat and

decided we’re better as friends.”

She laughed a little and grabbed a

croissant from one of the bags. “You mean,

you
decided. I find it impossible to believe

that he would go for that.”

“He said it was my decision,” I said. Still

laughing a little and shaking her head, she

went to the cupboard and got down a jar of

Nutella. If there was one thing we always

had at Yellowfield House, it was Nutella. We

might be out of toilet paper, or laundry