Moving On (Dominant Devils Mc Book 1) (3 page)

Holy shit I sound like a lovesick pussy. What the hell is wrong with me?  When this day is done and I make it back to the clubhouse I'm on a mission to drown my sorrows the only way I know how, whiskey and pussy. Anything to get my mind off her and thoughts of this fucked up day.

Romy

As I rounded the sidewalk to the hospital I froze when I saw Wall pacing with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth puffing away.  I saw the look of confusion all over his face as I made my way closer to him. I had just gotten off the phone with my brother Blaze. He informed me that one of my closest friends had just brought the club's newest brat into the world and that her husband would be leaving this world on the same day. I walked stealthily up behind Wall placing my tiny tattooed fingers on his shoulder. I was careful to stay far enough back until he realized it was me. Wall was like any of the brothers in the club, they didn't like people sneaking up on them. Wall though was exceptionally worse. I saw that first hand as a teenager when my brother nursed a black eye after trying to spook him.

So when I touched his broad shoulder I spoke. "How are you holding up tall, dark and broody? I figured you would have been in there with everyone else," I quickly stated.

"Needed some air. Felt like the walls were closing in on me. You just getting here"?

"Yeah, I was in the middle of starting another glorified tramp stamp on one of Marley's friends when the first call came in. I swear once most women hit forty they turn bat shit crazy!"

Wall snickered before replying like the true smartass he was. "I thought all women are born bat shit crazy. Of course, some are most definitely worse than others," he stated while laughing at his choice of words.

"Your one to talk, you've had a hard on for years for the craziest one of us all. You’re the one who nicknamed her CB and it wasn't because she knows how to work that CB radio in the office either. Although I must say once her daddy and those hot ass brothers of hers find out that it stands for Crazy Bitch you might not find it as funny," I said laughing loudly.

Wall's body stiffened at the thought but then seemed to relax as he looked down at me, being he's probably close to a foot taller than me, and grinned. "I might not have explained why I gave her the nickname but I’m sure they know. I mean you've seen how she flies off at the mouth at them. Hell if I didn't know any better I would think those, as you called them, hot ass brothers are a tad bit afraid of her at times. Even her dad doesn't have a problem telling anybody who will listen she's got bigger balls than any three of those guys".

"Yeah I'll give ya that. Madison or CB, as you like to call her, is definitely one woman you don't want to cross. I've seen her beat the hell out of a grown ass man before. At a Slayer concert at that and you know Slayer isn't for the weaker man". As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I had said too much by the look in his eye. O shit he must not know about that little adventure of ours. Fuck me! I stood in silence as I watched Wall’s face turn blood red before he started flipping the fuck out on me.

"Are you fucking kidding me Munchkin? You know the guys went out on a limb letting you girls go to that festival by yourselves. Don't think that when all this settles down we all won't be having a little pow wow about your concert experience! Damn it all to fucking hell," he grinded out!

Me and my big mouth have done it again. I'll have to find a way to give the girls a heads up before Wall spills my little input to the guys. This shit isn’t going to go over well for any of the girls that were in attendance that night. Hell if it wasn't for the fact we used Carrin's bachelorette party as an excuse to go, we would never have gotten them to agree to us going. Fuck it! It was over a year ago now. There wasn't anything the guys could do about it now. Madison took care of business like a fucking boss. To be honest I feel just as safe with her crazy ass as I do with one of the guys.

"Oh come one Wall that shit was over two years ago. There was no blowback or repercussions brought on the club. Hell, we even made sure none of us wore anything regarding the club when we went. That was the point of going by ourselves. We were trying not to draw any attention to the club. We all just wanted to be a bunch of regular women banging our heads to live metal without a shit ton of moody looking dudes watching our every move. Hell, it was nice just to be able to go to the damn bathroom without an escort."

Wall seemed to relax a little as we yelled back and forth. I stood there waiting for his next comeback but his next words had me shell shocked. "Thanks for getting me out of my head for a bit Munchkin. I know what you were doing by not bringing up the shit storm going on inside that building behind us. I won’t forget it. Let's head in and check on the fam. All of us in cramped quarters could turn catastrophic."

Yay me! Hopefully this means my little slip of the mouth won’t be made an issue and forgotten. Maybe he’ll just keep that tidbit of info to himself or even deal with Madison on his own. If anyone of us knows Madison, it's Wall. He knows that she can mess up a dude just like one of the brothers. I think that shit turns them both on. Seriously those two just need to fuck and get it over with. Maybe then they would know whether its love or lust.

As I turned to head into the hospital with Wall by my side he spoke. "Just because I'm feeling less edgy from our conversation doesn't mean your asses aren't in for it when we get through this." I stood still in the middle of the parking lot while Wall continued his track across the parking lot. Well goddamn; so much for wishful fucking thinking. Now I’m the one who’s probably gonna wear an ass whippin’ from Madison.

"You coming or not Munchkin" he yelled back to me as he stopped at the door and turned towards me. Well hell, I guess that was my cue to pull up my big girl panties and head in.

Happy

Stopping outside the door of my brother's hospital room I turned to Madison looking for some encouragement to walk in the room. Out of all the club brats, she was the one I was closest to. She was the first one to reach out to me and make me feel like I belonged. Me being what the club brats refer to as a straggler, it took a while for most of them to warm up to me. Madison was the one to strike up the first conversation with the lost seventeen-year-old boy I was when I first started hanging around. That coming from one of the "club princesses" said a lot. When our former president's daughter included me that first night it opened the door to a world I didn't know I needed at the time. At that time, it was just me and Brookes against the world. Brookes became my legal guardian when he was only nineteen years old after he fought fiercely to keep me. It was a rough time of my life, to say the least. He was labeled as active duty in the U.S. Marine Corps, and that was our biggest hurdle. We moved around a bit for a little over two years but when I was sixteen he landed a permanent spot as a drill Sargent for the notorious boot camp on Paris Island. The little road trip we took while on leave before he took the position was what would eventually lead us to settling down in Great Falls South Carolina a little over a year later after he completed the remainder of his enlistment. With his time in the service completed we packed up what little we had and moved to the old mill town of Great Falls. It was that move that got me where I am today and for that I will always be grateful to my older brother.

I was so lost in thought as I cuddled my beautiful niece I didn't hear Madison at first.

"Happy...Happy...Hey, Happy... There you are. You kind of zoned out on me for a second. Wanna share where your head went," Madison asked?

"I was just thinking about what brought me to this point in my life. I'm not dwelling on this particular moment if that's what you’re thinking. I'm just thinking about mom and dad passing leaving Brookes as my only living relative and the shit he gave up to keep me, even if it did lead us to Great Falls. Then how you took one look at me the first time I grew enough balls to walk onto the compound for the Halloween party and welcomed me with open arms. Remember the one threw for half the town? That’s the night your sassy ass accepted me for the straggler I am. It was like you picked me out of a sea of people and took me under your wing. I owe you just as much for this life as I do Brookes. My life has always thrown me some fucking curve balls, but Brookes always had my back. If I didn't have the club, I don't know what I would be after this.”

"I never knew you felt that way Hap. I just saw a young guy who looked like he needed a friend, just like I'm looking at a man now who needs that same friend to help him through what will most likely be the hardest time he has to get through. We all grieve differently but before you have a chance to shut down and try to distance yourself while you grieve, I want you to look at that beautiful little girl in your arms and reconsider. That little brat is going to need you no matter what. The rest of us can only share things about Brookes from the last seven years or so, where you can give her the details of her father's entire life. You’re the one who can share the family photos and memories of your parents, her grandparents that she’ll never get to meet. Carrin and the rest of the family can't do that without you. Let that precious little diva be your lifeline to get you through this with the help of your family."

Although, Madison could be one of the meanest women I knew, she is also one of the most compassionate.  I knew just from her words, that with her help and the backing of my club I would get through this and be able to help Carrin and my niece through this too.

"Thanks, CB. Now let’s bury the mushy bullshit and take this little girl to meet her daddy for the first and more than likely the last time," I told her.

"You got it." She reached for the knob to open the door that would lead to a part of my soul dying. This situation was so fucked up. It's at times like this that I really start to question if there are really any gods. Either way, life goes on whether we bow the fuck down and crumble or stand the fuck up and grab it by the balls.

If my brother taught me anything at all, it was to man up and move forward. That's what I intend to do for him and the family he left behind. I will do for him as he did for me all those years ago. It was time to man the fuck up.

Madison

I opened the door so that Happy could go on ahead. I wanted to keep far enough back to let him have his time with his brother, but be close enough for him feed off the support I was willing to give. I found a chair placed against the opposite wall of the bed Brookes lay still in. I tried to make my presence as scarce as possible while trying to hold back the tears that were fighting so hard to come. I listened as Happy introduced Octavia to Brookes. He made sure to tell Brookes about how the clubs had come together to support him even though he wasn't a patched member. I zoned out while he continued to have his one-way conversation with the shell of a man that was his brother laying in that bed. The one-sided conversation went on for twenty minutes or so before I realized the drastic emotional turn it had taken. Happy was choking out words in between sobs as I stood and went to stand beside him. As he spoke an all-consuming vow to his dying brother I place my hand on his shoulder showing support.

"I vow that your girl will not lack anything big brother. As the gods are my witnesses I promise to make sure your girls have everything they need and most of, if not everything, they want. I will do anything to make sure they are safe. I plan on being the one to teach your baby girl to ride her first bike, to teach her to shoot her first gun, and to be the one who scares all the boys away. Then, when she finds that special one to share her life with, I will be the one who walks her down the aisle to give her away in your honor. I will be the over protective uncle. Trust when I say that between myself and Wall your girls will be taken care of. I need you to rest easy and know I will stand up for them the same way you did for me when I needed you. I love you brother. Please know your two girls will be my main priority forever and always. I will make sure your little girl never forgets her poppa and that she knows just how fucking awesome you are and will always be in my eyes.”

Happy then looked over to me with tears in his eyes. "Thank you for helping me through this Madison. You think you could take our little diva for me. I need to get my shit together before facing everyone."

"Sure thing Hap. I'll just take her and sit with him while you use the bathroom to pull yourself together. I doubt anyone will judge you for not having control of your emotions as I'm sure every one of those meat heads in that waiting room has snuck off to a private hallway or bathroom to let their emotions out today."

With a nod of understanding, he turned and entered the private bathroom on the other side of the room. Once the door was closed I let my walls down. I cried for no less than ten minutes before a light knock sounded at the door. Trying to dry my eyes I got up to see who was at the door hoping to avoid disturbing Happy while he looked to find solace.

I opened the door to find Throttle looking down on me. "I didn't mean to bother you two, but Carrin is starting to come around and she’s asking for you and Happy," Throttle whispered.

"Okay, we'll be out in five." I quietly closed the door moving to the other door in the room. "Not sure if you heard but Carrin is awake and she's asking for both of us".

"I'll be out in just a minute and we'll head over to check on her," I heard from behind the bathroom door.

I took a seat again waiting for Happy to emerge. While I waited I unwrapped the little sleeping diva from her blanket cocoon wanting to make sure she had ten toes and ten fingers before facing Carrin. Something in my gut knew that would be one of her first objectives once she laid eyes on her. I felt the tears trying to creep out again. Fuck me! Pull your shit together Mads. Your best friend needs you. Your family needs you. They can't see you lose your shit right now. You can let yourself go when you get back home.