Mountains Wanted (30 page)

She found him reclining
on the bed, the sheet pulled up to his waist, flipping through channels on his
television. “Really?” she questioned, “you’d rather watch TV?”

“No, but I didn’t think
you’d just be two minutes,” he replied sarcastically.

“Your cock is a powerful
motivator, what can I say?” she retorted, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she ripped
back the sheet and climbed to a kneeling position between his thighs.
           
S
he
proceeded to work him into a frenzy, his head thrown back, only guttural moans
managing to escape from his throat as she licked and sucked every square inch
of his manly parts. When she was satisfied he was ready for her, she climbed up
his body and slid her wanton pussy down his shaft. “Oh my god,” she sighed,
“you feel so fucking good inside me.”

He mumbled something
unintelligible and moved his hands to her hips where he controlled her
movements up and down. She propped herself on her wrists, slamming her
body down with all her force as he pushed himself up and deeper inside her. His
eyes were closed and she studied his face, wondering where his mind was,
wondering when he might open them and lock gazes with her. He moved his
hands behind his head and allowed her to take over. She leaned down so that her
breasts grazed his lips. Ordinarily he’d take her nipple into his mouth and
gently chew on it, but his lips were firmly closed, expressionless.

She continued to grind
her pelvis into him, a little more slowly, wondering why he was so distant. And
then she realized he had lost his erection. She moved a little too much and he
slipped out from her. She felt the wetness that had gathered on his cock turn
cold against her upper thigh as she dismounted him. His eyes were still closed
but he pulled her into his arms. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.

He shook his head,
“Nothing, baby, sorry.”

She had dealt with
performance issues in the past with other partners.
Stay calm, don’t worry,
don’t assume
, she reminded herself of all the lessons she had learned in
the past. She stroked her hands down his chest, stomach and thighs. “It’s
okay,” she said in her most soothing voice.

He turned on the movie
and they laid in silence. Finally, Sarah turned onto her side and began to
drift off to sleep. They both dozed for a few hours, and then she felt him
press against her, his hand around her waist, pulling her bottom toward his
hips. She could feel his erection straining against her flesh, buried in the
cleft of her cheeks. He lifted her thigh to get the right angle to enter her
and still drowsy, Sarah was jolted into lucidity, gasping as she felt him fill
her. He moaned softly and started to move very slowly inside her.
 I
knew things would be better if we just waited a bit,
she thought.

He pulled out and pushed
her over onto her knees and moved behind her. She felt his stiff cock slide
into her and groaned with pleasure. There was a sense of relief that his
equipment seemed to be working as he firmly grasped her cheeks and began to
stroke in and out. She tried not to worry too much about him and concentrated
instead on the sensations radiating from her nether regions. Getting ever
closer to climax, she began to push herself back against him, meeting each
thrust with one of her own. His speed was increasing and she felt very close to
losing control. He pulled back on her hair, gathering it in his fist and
wrapping it around his hand, knowing exactly which buttons to push to force her
over the edge.  
Damn, he knows me so well,
she thought as she felt
the first waves consume her. She felt suspended, her muscles spasming
against him, tingles radiating out to her extremities and then back in again
toward her core.  

James slowed down as she
caught her breath. She laid her head down on the bed, angling her ass up,
allowing him deeper access. She was silent for a moment, trying to read from
his motions and sounds where he was, where he was going. He was seeming to slip
away again, both literally and figuratively. She could feel him growing soft
and she could feel the frustration rising and his desperation to push it below
the surface. She felt frozen, wishing she could do something, say something to
make it better. He withdrew. He fell to the bed, facing away from her and was
totally silent.

A tear stung at the
corner of her eye.
 Is this because of me? Did I do something
wrong? Is this because of Maggie?
All of her wise self-talk from two hours
ago had disappeared and was replaced with haunting insecurities. She curled her
body to him, molding her soft flesh to his stiff, muscular frame. She draped
her arm over him, and rested her chin against his back. But she didn’t
speak. 
I don’t know what to say,
she admitted. She listened to his
breathing steady, his body spasm into sleep.  

I’m keeping him from
devoting himself to Maggie
,
she suddenly realized.
He loves her and wants to be with her. To start a
family with her. He’s just confused because I’m here in the middle; I’m
tangible. I need to go.

She silently left her
warm spot in bed and gathered up her things. He didn’t even move.
This
is for the best,
she thought as she got into her car and drove away.

***

   
       
It
was dark and a little foggy in the valleys of the curvy road Sarah traversed to
exit James’ housing development. The houses were spaced far apart and boasted
thickets of trees and vegetation in between, making for a challenging drive in
the pitch black, moonless night. She struggled to pay attention and stay awake,
but her mind was tired and jumbled with sad thoughts and strong convictions
that she was doing the right thing. She fought off her exhaustion, fueling
her energy with desperate consternations, inventing all sorts of scenarios for
how her relationship with James might play out. She walked away with a
broken heart in every single one.

As she had thought many
times before:
this is a war I cannot win.
She cranked up the radio but
the song that blared out into the space around her ears spoke of unrequited
love and she felt the singer’s pain searing through her. Her fingers
trembling, she twisted the knob to turn it off; silence was more endurable. 
How
did I get myself into this fucking mess?
she asked herself for the
millionth time.

She made it out onto the
main road and still had a few more miles till she reached the highway but at
least this road was straighter and more brightly lit. In the distance she
saw a pair of headlights veering back and forth on the straight stretch that
laid before her, farther past where her own headlights shone. She slowed down
with the passing thought,
Stupid drunk drivers
. She glanced at the
glowing green numbers:
3:37. In the morning. On a Sunday morning
, she
thought, her mind transporting her back to the last time she left James’ house
thinking it was the end. It was only two short months ago.

Suddenly the zig-zagging
headlights were on top of her, shining through her, burning into her eyes. She
felt a jolt, an impact against the side of her car. A rush of energy bolted
through her like a lightning strike; she veered sharply to the right to give the
other driver a wider berth. Suddenly her wheel struck the guardrail and flipped
over it. In a swirling fraction of a second, her car rolled then was back
upright, the passenger side rear wrapped around a tree. Before she could panic,
scream, or even think, the airbag shot up around her, enveloping her in a white
cloud of sterile silence.

And then the white cloud
went black.

***

 
There must have been dreams, millions of technicolor
dreams so vivid her mind and body ached from the continuous action, the clarity,
the constant movement. And the sounds, the sounds had been so rich: the
laughter of children, the crashing of waves, the squealing of tires, the
screaming of sirens. And then there were the smells, searing through her
nostrils as if they were concentrated enough to make her sinuses explode:
pungent cracklings of a campfire, gentle caresses of lilac blossoms, salty breezes
wafting from ocean waves. But when her bleary eyes finally cracked open through
swollen slits, all of the colors, sounds and smells had been stripped away. There
was only a low beeping and the soft, mind-numbing hum of machines, the
disconcerting odor of disinfectant, and the dull, colorless gray of a clinical
prison.

Where’s my golden sun
and purple mountains? Where is the sound of fall leaves crunching under my
feet? Where is the smell of an apple pie cooling on the windowsill? Give
me back my dream world, dammit,
Sarah cried out into the caverns of her aching head. But the
only response she heard was “Shhhhhh...don’t try to speak.”

She jolted at the sight
of the nurse affixing the blood pressure cuff to her upper arm and at the feel
of the paper-thin cotton gown clinging to her hip as the blanket was stripped
away. She started to cough but then felt a pain rip through her ribs like she was
being stabbed in the lungs.
What the fuck?
she thought, raising her
fingertips to the pink flowered gown and feeling her chest wound in bandages.

“Your vitals look good,”
the nurse stated coldly. “You have some family here to see you.  I’ll go
get them.”

Well, isn’t she Miss
Personality
? Sarah smirked. In
moments, the door pushed open and Kathy and Rachel appeared, their eyes filled
with concern and accented with dark purple circles underneath. Kathy sat in the
chair nearest to her daughter’s bed and Rachel sat on the bed right next to
Sarah. “You’re not family,” Sarah managed a weak laugh.

“Her mind is fully
intact,” Rachel noted to Kathy who smiled with relief. “I told them I’m
your sister. Note the family resemblance,” she pulled back her hair and turned
to the side to reveal her profile, laughing.

“Where are Abby and
Owen?”  Sarah questioned.  
I just want to see my kids
.
Oh,
my god,
she thought,
I can’t believe I’m in the hospital. What the hell
happened?
           
“They’re
in the waiting room with James,” Kathy replied, patting her daughter’s leg
through the blanket. “The nurse wanted to make sure you were okay..and
lucid...before you saw anyone else.”

James. Shit
, Sarah thought, remembering the circumstances
under which she left his house the night before. “What’s he doing here?” she
asked. “Which hospital am I at?”

“You’re still in
Laurel,” Rachel replied. “I guess you didn’t make it that far from his
house.” She couldn’t quite stop her next question before letting it slip out,
“Why were you leaving his house in the middle of the night?”

Sarah suddenly felt
nauseous and dizzy, then overwhelmed with exhaustion, a force stronger than
she’d ever experienced.
I can’t answer. My brain says no. 
Kathy
recognized what was happening and shot Rachel a stern glare, “It’s okay, honey,
just relax, I think the doctor is going to be in soon to talk to you. Save your
strength for that.”

She dozed until she felt
adjustments being made to her cords, wires and tubes. A tall man in scrubs
was standing at the foot of her bed, making notes in her file. “Well, good
morning, Dr. Lynde,” he said brightly when he noticed a peep of her brown
irises show through the slits in her eyelids.  

She still felt woozy but
not bad enough to let the doctor’s extreme handsomeness escape her notice. 
And
hello....Dr....Russell
, she thought scanning the name badge hanging from a
lanyard around his neck.
You’re yummy!
 She suddenly thought about
her appearance, the dowdy, unflattering gown, her hair a mess and the stark
lack of makeup. 
I think my mental abilities are fully intact
, she
smirked,
I’m still as vain as ever.

   
“You’re a very lucky woman to have come out of that wreck with relatively minor
injuries,” Dr. Russell smiled. “You have a couple of broken ribs, some
lacerations and contusions, and a concussion. We’re going to keep you the rest
of the day, just to monitor that concussion. And we’re still waiting on the
results of some tests. How are you feeling?”

Sarah noticed the clock
read 9:13 AM.  
How long have I been here?
So many questions were
flooding her mind, she couldn’t quite grasp any single one; they seemed so
slippery. She suddenly thought about all the x-rays and examinations she must
have undergone while she was unconscious.
How many hands touched my body
while I was out?
Her next thought was of the other victim. “Was that guy
who hit me drunk?” she blurted out.

The doctor nodded, “And he’s
not doing as well as you. I can’t release any other details though, I’m sorry.”
He said something fast and low to the nurse who was busy changing the bag on
Sarah’s IV. “The police are going to be by soon to ask you a few
questions.”

The nurse wheeled the
table closer to Sarah’s bed. “You’ve got flowers,” she announced, handing Sarah
the card. “Do you feel like seeing your children now?”

Sarah turned the card
over in her hand. Her face brightened at hearing the word “children” and she
nodded happily. She set the card back on the table, unopened. She instantly
thought of Pawel when she saw the flowers, thinking back to the time she had
gotten food poisoning at his house and he sent flowers.
Wow, he’s really on
top of things. I guess news travels fast
, she thought.