Love Me Not (17 page)

“Again?” she said.

I pressed all the way into her, and she moaned.

“Again,” I murmured against her neck and continued making love to her.

She didn’t speak again for a while.

The sex was slow and soft.

Eventually, I felt her orgasm begin to rise again. Our voices grew louder, incoherent sighs and moans.

The mattress shifted, and sweat rolled down my back. All I could be conscious of was the way her legs spread, the way my pelvis arched as I pressed myself into her, how wet she was, her hot breath against my neck, the way her fingers dug into my back.

It was like rolling down a hill, no stopping, no slowing.

“Heath,” she cried.

“Kimber.” My God, I was with Kimber. She wanted me.

She screeched a sigh, and her body arched. “Oh God.” She almost looked like she was being tortured, like it was too much, like she couldn’t possibly hold that much pleasure in one tiny body.

Her legs spread wider, and then I came. I ejaculated powerfully into her. My whole body hardened, and I pushed myself deeper inside. I grunted and then panted through my mouth.

Our motion slowed and then stopped.

I realized how exhausted I was, as if that much semen leaving me sapped all my energy. I rested my head against her shoulder and listened to her try to catch her breath.

“I love you,” I whispered.

She was still panting.

I lifted a few inches to look at her. She opened her mouth, but I touched her lips with my fingertip. “Just relax.”

I moved my fingertips across her cheek. “Was it good?”

She took a breath, closed her eyes, and smiled.

Then she opened her eyes and looked over at the clock on the wall. “Holy cow. It’s almost six.”

“Are you going to turn into a pumpkin?”

“I have to be at work by eight.”

“You’re at work.”

She smirked. “I have to be clean and have on different clothes.”

I figured I ought to ease Penny into the change, not hit her over the head with it by letting her see Kimber leaving my room. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be, especially right now when she was so pissed off at me.

Slowly, I slid back, out of Kimber.

She took a breath, as if enjoying the exit as much as the entrance. I sat on my knees and let her get out of bed.

She walked around, searching the floor for her clothes. She stumbled a little.

“Legs about to give out?” I teased.

She ignored me.

I stood from the bed and walked up behind her. My body felt drained. It felt nice. I touched her bare shoulders and then slid my hands down her arms.

She stopped.

I pulled her hair off her shoulder and murmured in her ear. “Are you sure you can stand, or should I hold you?”

She turned and glared. “How come you’re not tripping around?”

I grinned.

She smacked my chest and bent down to pick up her little pink panties.

I laughed.

She continued dressing. I slipped on my jeans and watched.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” she said.

“Hell no.”

The corner of her mouth tweaked, and she pulled her shirt on over her bra. Shoes and coat on, she opened my bedroom door.

I took her hand, and she paused.

“I’m barely standing,” I said.

Her smile spread across her face and made her eyes glow like backlit emeralds. She stood on her toes and kissed me once.

Then she walked out to the hall, and I followed, intent on walking her to her car.

“I parked out front after Penny left,” she said as we moved in that direction.

We walked out into the main part of the store, and I saw her little Plymouth in the storefront parking.

“Shall I take that out of your pay?” Penny was behind the counter, looking at Kimber.

Chapter 29

The Only Woman I’ve Ever Hated

Kimber just looked at Penny, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“Penny.” My tone meant
shut up
.

She focused on Kimber. “I said, would you like me to take that out of your pay?”

“What?” Kimber said.

I stood in front of Penny. “Stop.”

She moved to walk around me. I grabbed her arm, but she pulled away. She knew damn well I’d never restrain her physically.

What in the hell was she doing? My outburst couldn’t have pissed her off this much. If she told Kimber where my money came from…She couldn’t do that to me.

Penny walked around me toward Kimber. “Do you think his time is free?”

Kimber looked to me and then back to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been here all night with Heath.”

Kimber raised her chin. “Yes.”

I took Kimber’s hand and tried leading her toward the door.

“What’s wrong?” Kimber said.

I didn’t know how to answer that. I kept a hold of her hand, and she let me lead her. We made it across the store. I thought maybe I could get her out…

“He sleeps with women for money,” Penny said. “He’s been doing it for years.”

Kimber stopped.

“Ignore her,” I said.

Her eyes widened, and she shifted away from me.

“Please,” I said.

“You’re always disappearing into that room, the huge bed, the fireplace, the silk sheets…”

“Kimber.” I moved closer, and she stepped back.

A long pause while she stared at me.

Her eyes began to tear. I wanted to comfort her, to hold her. I stayed where I was.

A tear fell down her cheek. “Is anything you told me the truth?”

“All of it. I promise.” My hand lifted. I wanted to take her hand, but I saw in her eyes she didn’t trust me anymore, the only person I’d ever trusted with my full story, the only person I’d allowed to truly know me in the last seven years. I told her everything, and now she didn’t trust any of it was the truth.

“I’m not the only woman you slept with yesterday,” she said, “am I?”

I was trapped. I wouldn’t lie to her. This was the last moment I’d have with her, probably the last time I’d ever see her, and I couldn’t tell her goodbye, that I’d miss her, that I loved her. I wanted the moment to last, even if she was glaring at me, even if she was thinking how much she hated me.

“No,” I finally said.

She slapped me. My head turned from the force.

She walked out of the shop, away from me, forever. Surely I’d never see her again. I watched as she walked across the sidewalk, got in her car, and sped away. I hated myself for hurting her like that. I wasn’t sure what I’d been thinking. Someone like her could never want me, not like I wanted her.

I knew I’d always want her. I’d love her forever.

And now she was gone.

“What in the hell are you doing?” Penny’s enraged tone reminded me of her existence, of how much I hated her.

I turned away from the window and walked past her behind the counter. From the bottom drawer I took the book that held my schedule and any other information we kept about my clients.

Penny was glaring at me. I wasn’t about to explain anything to her—she didn’t deserve to know, and I didn’t think I could speak to her without roaring curses spewing from my mouth. For the first time in my life, I truly hated someone, and it killed me that it was her, that my sister had betrayed me, the one person I’d always relied on.

I found Elizabeth’s page in the book. She was the only person I could think of to turn to. I memorized her phone number then dumped the book in the trash.

“Heath,” Penny demanded.

I took out the bank bag, the last item in the infamous locked drawer, took out the cash, and tossed the bag in the trash.

I turned toward the back hall.

She stood in my way. “What are you doing?”

I looked past her, over her head.

She lifted her hand as if to turn my head. I grabbed her hand and held it away from me.

“Ow,” she said.

I glared down at her, and she looked up at me as if staring into the face of Satan.

“We’re done.” I threw her hand away and walked past her down the hall.

In my room, I finished dressing, grabbed my backpack from the closet, and stuffed all my notebooks inside. They barely fit. Then I found a duffel bag, the one I used when I left the house Cassie and I had together. Into the bag I threw some clothes, soap, and my razor.

In the span of about ten minutes, my life changed from visions of being with Kimber, of taking care of her and eventually marrying her, to nothing. I had no lover, no sister, no one.

I walked out the back door, away from Penny, away from my memories of Kimber, or rather the place where my memories of Kimber happened. I’d always have her with me. She’d plague me for the rest of my life.

Chapter 30

My Only Friend

I walked with no idea where I was going.

Down the street, past the hotel, there was a gas station. I stopped. I couldn’t go to the hotel—and take the risk of dealing with Kathy, the flirty front desk attendant, and there wasn’t a hotel within walking distance.

Only one option remained. I supposed I could call a cab from the pay phone, but I didn’t want to be alone. It didn’t seem wise. After Cassie died, I thought about joining her often, more than was healthy, if any suicidal thoughts could be considered healthy. Having someone close to me and keeping in motion was how I survived. Losing Kimber felt just as impossible as losing Cassie. I knew I shouldn’t be alone.

I dropped my bag on the ground by the pay phone and reached in my pocket for a quarter. I pulled out twenties, fifties, and hundreds, no change. Shit. I risked leaving my crap outside and went in the gas station store. Changing in a twenty for a quarter was a fucking nightmare.

Finally, I stepped up to the pay phone, inserted the quarter, and dialed the number I’d memorized. I hoped she answered.

The line rang several times. I thought about hanging up. She had enough to deal with without adding my insanity to the mix.

“Hello?” Elizabeth finally said.

“It’s Heath.”

“Oh, hey.”

A pause. I wasn’t sure how to ask.

“Is something wrong?” she said.

“I left Penny.”

“You mean…you moved out?”

I could hear she was in the car. I figured Rachel was with her, probably on the way to school, and what Elizabeth meant was if I was done fucking for money.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m done.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Rachel’s voice in the background, quiet, as if she was trying not to interrupt her mother’s conversation. “Bye, Mom.”

“Heath,” Elizabeth said, “hold on one second.” Rustling, as if she changed the way she was holding the phone, away from her ear. She spoke to Rachel. “We’re going to have a guest, but I should be on time to get you.”

“If you’re late, I’ll just catch a ride. Don’t worry.”

“Have a good day, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Mom.”

A car door closing, and then Elizabeth’s voice resumed its normal volume. “Where are you?”

“The Hess station on Town Center.”

“I’ll be about ten minutes.”

“Thank you, Elizabeth.” I hung up. I didn’t actually want to talk. I just didn’t want to be alone.

Alone. I had to start getting used to the idea. I could stay a few nights with Elizabeth at most. After that, I’d have to find my own place—I would not be a burden to her. And then I’d be alone constantly.

Not wanting to be alone was a big reason why I’d started sleeping around after Cassie was gone. Anyone’s company was better than my own, and when I had sex, I could forget for a little while.

Sex was easy then. Cassie was gone. I had no one to be loyal to, and knowing I wasn’t the last man to be with her made my banging the whole city that much easier.

I supposed that was another reason I slept around for so many years. I was never in a relationship; therefore, I couldn’t be rejected.

And then Kimber appeared and fucked it all up.

I should’ve realized this couldn’t have ended in any other way. If Penny hadn’t told her, she would’ve found out where my money came from eventually. A good woman like Kimber could never accept that. I was a fool to think I had any chance of keeping her, of
marrying
her. I was a fucking moron.

A car stopped in front of me.

I looked up to see Elizabeth’s Jaguar. I stood from the curb as she got out of the car. My ass was numb, and I realized I was cold. I’d left my coat.

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth sounded more worried than she had on the phone. Perhaps I looked like shit. Whatever.

I picked up my bags.

She hurried around to open the back passenger door, and I tossed my crap on the seat. Then I sat in the front passenger seat, and she resumed her place behind the wheel.

She started driving.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Whatever you need, I’m here.”

I looked at her and tried to smile. It didn’t work. I turned back toward the windshield.

Her voice was gentle. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

We were quiet for several minutes. Out the window, I watched the edge of the road flash by, all the dirt, rocks, and weeds. It all blurred together.

“Are you warm enough?” she eventually said.

I looked over at her as if waking from a deep sleep. I heard her but couldn’t quite comprehend, as if my ability to process language was lagging.

“You were shivering,” she said.

“Was I?”

She set her hand on mine as it rested on my thigh. The warmth of her hand almost hurt.

“You’re freezing.” She wrapped her fingers around mine and drove one-handed.

“Where are we going?” I said. We weren’t headed for Gate Parkway.

“Dipshit let us have the house back. He said it’s for Rachel’s sake. He’s just trying to look good for the court.”

“I’m impressed.”

Her eyebrows pulled together and then rose. She almost looked mad.

I still couldn’t manage a smile. “You’ve adopted his true name.”

Her expression relaxed, like the drawing open of curtains. She turned back to the road. “Brad just doesn’t seem to fit anymore.”

“Dipshit works. Maybe fucking waste of skin.”