Love Me Not (19 page)

After I showered—and shaved—and put on some clothes, I went down to the kitchen to use the phone. A phone was another thing I should get, solely so I could call Elizabeth when I needed to hear a friendly voice, when I didn’t think I could make the year.

On the kitchen table, there was a note with my name.

Went to drop off Rachel. There are bagels in the pantry (and eggs and sausage in the fridge, but I doubt you cook). Have whatever you want. Be back soon.

I flipped the paper over.

Thank you, Elizabeth. I’ll be out most of the day. Will try to be back at a reasonable time.

Then I called a cab, grabbed a bagel, and was gone before Elizabeth returned. My first stop was the Chevy dealer on Phillips Highway. I paid the cab driver and then started browsing the used car lot.

Within ten minutes of my browsing cars, a salesman approached. If he grew frustrated with my unresponsive attitude, he didn’t show it. He followed me around like a stray cat begging for food.

Maybe it was a guy thing or maybe it was my one last snippet of pride, but I couldn’t bring myself to buy a Neon or Cavalier. The only thing on the lot that I could spend money on was the Camaro. It was black and only a year old, with the new body style that harkened back to the muscle cars of the seventies.

I’d intended on walking through all the dealerships, but I glanced up and down the road and couldn’t think of anything better that Hyundai or Toyota would have to offer. Or maybe I was just being lazy. I knew I should look at all the dealerships, use up as much time as possible, but I decided just to buy the Camaro.

The paperwork took awhile of course—well, my haggling the price took awhile. My attitude seemed to be helpful. Surely, it was obvious I wasn’t excited about the purchase, which meant the salesmen had little to bargain with. I managed to get them down to an excellent price. The fact that I paid cash also helped significantly.

Before noon, I drove away in my car, the first car I’d owned in seven years. I’d forgotten how freeing it was, no waiting on a damn cab, no dealing with rude or overly friendly drivers. I could go where I wanted when I wanted.

Then I was off to find a cell phone store. I didn’t care which carrier I went with, so I stopped at the first store I came across. Buying the damn cell phone took almost as long as buying the car. Finally, I walked out with a phone.

An apartment was going to be the hard part of the day. I wasn’t sure where to start.

I stopped at a gas station to grab a bottle of water and fill up the tank—the cheap bastards at the dealership had only filled it to a quarter tank—and while I was there, I picked up one of those freebie apartment guides. I wasn’t even sure in which area of town to start.

Orange Park held too many memories of Cassie, and too close to Town Center mall wouldn’t work—that’s where all my memories of Kimber were, and I preferred to avoid Penny. But I also thought it wise not to be too far from Elizabeth, at least for now. So, I tried a little farther down Baymeadows Road, the opposite direction from the mall.

I figured I’d get someplace small but not too shitty, just in case Elizabeth insisted on visiting. What a moron I was deciding where to live based on the women in my life, or the women
not
in my life.

Several apartment complexes lined Baymeadows Road. I checked them out in the guide, floor plans and such, and then stopped in at a few, the small one-bedrooms. I didn’t need any more space than that. I barely had enough clothes to get through a week, let alone furniture. Getting shit to fill an apartment would be another excursion. Oh joy.

Eventually, evening descended, and leasing offices started closing. I took all my brochures and drove back to Elizabeth’s, intent on deciding on a place tonight so I could be out of Elizabeth’s house tomorrow.

I pulled into the driveway, next to Elizabeth’s Jaguar. She walked down her front steps as I stood from my car.

“So that’s where you’ve been all day,” she said.

I closed the door and locked it with a beep. “Can’t keep wasting money on cabs.”

She smiled, a really happy kind. Perhaps she saw the car purchase as I positive thing, as if I was moving forward. It was really just a transportation thing, but I didn’t set her straight.

“We ordered pizza,” she said. “We saved some for you.”

“Thanks.” I realized I’d forgotten to eat lunch.

I followed her through the house, back to the kitchen. Rachel was sitting on one of the stools at the island. It was odd that her little cheerleading outfit didn’t faze me. I saw her beauty like an uncle would see his niece’s beauty. Perhaps it was simply because of my respect for Elizabeth, or perhaps it was because I was trapped being loyal to someone who didn’t want me.

“Hi,” Rachel said as I walked in. “What do you like, sausage and pepperoni or plain cheese?”

“Either.”

She grabbed a plate and napkin, put a couple slices on a plate, and handed it to me.

I took the plate. “Thank you.” Then I set my brochures on the table and sat to eat.

Elizabeth took the next chair and picked up one of the brochures. “You don’t have to be in a rush, you know. You can stay here as long as you want.”

My voice was quiet. “It doesn’t look very appropriate.” I didn’t know how much about her divorce she’d want to talk about in front of Rachel.

“I don’t care,” she said.

“I do.” I took a bite of pizza.

She sighed, the kind that was half annoyed, half surrender.

She flipped through the brochures. “So, have you decided?”

I shook my head while I chewed.

Brochures spread out over the table, she examined them.

Rachel jumped down off her stool and walked around the island to put her plate in the dishwasher. She came back with a bottle of water from the refrigerator and set it next to my plate.

“Thank you.” That seemed to be the only thing I said to the girl. She was way too damn polite for a teenager.

Rachel grabbed a book and notebook from her school bag on the floor by the doorway, resumed her stool, and started working.

“Any math tonight?” Elizabeth said to Rachel.

Rachel looked up. “Science.”

“Have fun with that.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Yeah,
thanks.
”

Elizabeth smiled and turned back to the brochures. “One-bedrooms, huh? Well, you’ll still need furniture and such.” She glanced at me. “Will you let me help? And, you know, I have some properties—”

“No, thank you.”

“But that’s a lot to buy all at once, and with rent too…”

I lowered my chin and raised my eyebrows. “Do the math.”

I watched as she did the mental calculations, how much she used to pay for an hour of my time, multiplied by the number of working hours in a day, then multiplied by seven years. Actually, I had more than even Penny knew—I had a decent savings, especially after selling Cassie’s and my house and all the shit in it, before Penny started helping keep track of my finances.

“Oh,” Elizabeth said. “I guess I never thought about it.”

“Thank you, though.”

“Let me know if you need any help picking things out.”

“Actually…”

She grinned. “Not a big shopper?”

“I’m good at one thing, and shopping isn’t it.”

She stifled a laugh.

I still couldn’t bring myself to smile, but I liked that I could make Elizabeth laugh. Being around her made getting through the year seem possible.

“What is it you’re good at?” Rachel asked.

Shit
. Uh…“Flirting.” It was close to the truth.

Rachel laughed and returned to her studying.

Elizabeth continued looking through the brochures. It was a few minutes later that she spoke again, in a quiet voice, just to me. “Um, I got a call today.”

I’d looked up Elizabeth’s number in front of Penny—of course, she’d realize where I’d gone. Great. I didn’t want Elizabeth bothered any more than what I was already doing.

“Don’t worry about it,” was all I said.

She nodded and continued looking at brochures. She spent the rest of the evening interrogating me about which apartment I’d choose and then what kind of furnishings I’d need. And I actually didn’t mind. I liked being around her and Rachel. They seemed so…normal, like the great American family, which was strange seeing as how they were anything but.

I decided on an apartment, the one Elizabeth liked the most. She didn’t say anything about the size of apartment I was looking at, even when she came across the floor plans for the few studio apartments. After seven years in that one tiny room, anything felt big.

Even before Rachel went to bed, I said good-night and went upstairs. I didn’t want to be alone with Elizabeth tonight, didn’t want to talk about anything more substantial than what color of upholstery I liked.

Then morning came, and I readied myself for a day of shopping. Since it was Saturday, I’d thought about inviting Rachel to come along, mostly to tame Elizabeth’s ability to ask me questions about my situation, but she said something about going out with friends.

Elizabeth and I took off around nine since leasing offices closed early on Saturdays. We took a look at the apartment, a small one-bedroom that overlooked a retention pond. The sounds of the Baymeadows traffic wasn’t too bad. It would be quiet at night. I wasn’t sure if that was a plus or a minus.

After Elizabeth read through it with her expert eyes, I signed the lease. It was probably wise she was here. I would’ve signed whatever they put in front of me. I just didn’t give a shit.

Seeing Elizabeth like this, the business side of her, was interesting. She was serious and hard-nosed. She even made them cross out a couple lines she didn’t like. It was kind of fun to watch my elegant friend be a bit of a bitch.

After we left the leasing office, Elizabeth took me to several stores. First was a furniture store. I bought a bed, a couch, and a kitchen table. Elizabeth said it would arrange nicely. She asked if I wanted to get a TV, but I decided not to. I hadn’t watched TV in years, and I didn’t feel I was missing anything.

Last, she took me someplace to get all the little crap—towels and plates and silverware, and anything else Elizabeth said I needed. I bought whatever color or type she seemed to like. I hoped she had a little fun.

Around six o’clock, we trudged up the stairs to my new apartment, hands filled with bags—Elizabeth insisted on helping.

I opened the door and remembered there was no light attached to the switch. Just barely enough light shone through the window for us to see where we were going.

“I forgot lamps,” I said.

“No, we got them, the silver ones. They’ll be delivered with your furniture.”

“Oh, right.” I turned and set the bags on the floor. I had no idea what she was talking about. I supposed I should’ve paid a little closer attention. “Well,” I said as I turned back around, “I guess I need to hitch a ride with you back to your house to pick up my stuff.”

“You’re not staying here tonight.”

“Why?”

“The furniture isn’t coming until Monday.”

“I have blankets and pillows. I’ll be—”

“I
really
don’t think so.”

No strength to argue, I let her take me back to her house.

I realized I shouldn’t let her get too attached to this friendship of ours. I liked having her around, but I didn’t think it was very good for her to be around me. And I wasn’t sure how my one-year deal with myself was going to turn out. I could barely imagine a future of tomorrow, let alone ten years, twenty, fifty. I was pretty sure one year was going to be my limit.

Chapter 33

Marie

Monday morning came, and I loaded my crap into my car. Elizabeth asked if she could come over for a while and help set stuff up. I moved the new furniture wherever she thought it should go while pretending I cared. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Then she had to leave to meet with one of her property managers, and I sat on my new couch and stared at the wall. It was a small relief to be alone and not have to pretend.

A knock.

A few seconds passed before I realized what it was, that someone was at my door. I thought about ignoring it, but then I thought it might be Elizabeth, perhaps done with her meeting early.

I opened the door. A young woman with dark hair and over-tanned skin was standing there.

“Hi,” she said. “I figured I’d come meet my new neighbor.” She handed me a plate of cookies, obviously store-bought but put on a ceramic plate and covered in plastic wrap.

“Thank you.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.” She paused. I started to wonder if she was waiting for an invitation to come in.

“I saw the movers out my window,” she said. “New furniture?”

“Yeah.”

“It looked nice. I like contemporary style. You know, clean lines and all.” She was still smiling.

“My friend picked it out.” I couldn’t think of a way to get this chick to leave. I wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate flirting. I couldn’t imagine ever being in that mood again.

“The lady in the Jaguar? Is she your aunt or something?”

Had she watched us the whole time? “She’s a good friend.”

“Oh.” Her smile seemed to strain a little. Perhaps she thought the word
good
implied more than friend. I didn’t set her straight. It wasn’t her business anyway, and maybe the flirty smile would stop if she thought I was taken.

She continued talking at me. “I bartend down the road, the club at Baymeadows and Phillips. You should come see me sometime.”

“Sure.” I wasn’t about to go to any damn clubs.

Her smile brightened, and she shifted her weight, jutting her hip out. “I’ll see you around then.”

I nodded once and moved to close the door as she started to turn.

Then she laughed. “I forgot to tell you my name.” She held out her hand. “I’m Marie.”

“Heath.”

She held on to the handshake a few seconds too long.

Finally, she let go and turned. I closed the door.

Marie was going to be trouble.

Chapter 34

Running