Love & Hate (Book Two: Love) (17 page)

“
You okay to drive home, or do you want me to go with you?” He asks sounding worried.

“
Oh no, I’m fine.” I say.

“
Okay, we will talk later?” He asks, clearly testing the waters.

“
Sure.” I say and start walking toward my truck. I jump in it and pull away from the Daniels farmhouse. I look back in my rear view mirror and I see Cutter still standing in the driveway watching me leave.
Well that was absolutely terrifying. At least now I can just relax by myself at home for the next few days.

I got home in mid-afternoon and put my stuff away. My parent’s huge house was eerily quiet so I decided to go down to the barn. I found Lacey working the young training horses that didn’t go to the horse show.

“
Hey Lace.” I yell across the huge wooden arena.

“
Hey there Chica!” Lace calls as she lopes a beautiful jet black gelding over toward me. “How long have you been home?”

“
Oh maybe an hour or so, I was just unpacking and doing some much needed laundry.” I tell her.

“
You want to help me work some horses?”

“
Sure. I don’t know how much help I will be though.”

She lets out a deep breath and I know she is fixing to set me straight. “Paige I love you, but you need to get over that shit. It’s time you get back on a horse. I know what the surgeon said but I think you should at least try it.”

“
I know Lace, I’m just scared. What if I fall off and reinjure my back?” I confess to her.

“
You won’t. We can start you off slow on The Biz. Once you get your strength back we can try you out on Dex. He is really coming along and I think he is smart enough to take care of you.”

I would love to ride Dex. He is four now and really talented.

“
Alright.” I tell her.

“
Great go get The Biz Whiz and I’ll help you saddle him.” She tells me.

“
Okay.” I say and hurry off to find my longtime friend.

“
I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.” I tell Lacey as she rides next to me on a cute bay mare named Chloe.

“
Well it’s about damn time you stop being such a baby.” She says smiling at me. “I think your strength has improved.”

“
I have been swimming with that guy I told you about.”

“
Oh yeah what’s his name, Holder?” She teases.

“
His name is Holden.”

“
So tell me more about this Holden, have you guys done it yet?”

“
Oh my God, no!” I gasp.

“
Well I was just asking. It is about time you get over Cutter Asshat Daniels.”

Oh no I can tell I have word vomit coming up. “He rode home with me.”

“
Please tell me you are talking about Holder and not Cutter.”

I don’t answer because I know she is going to freak out on me just like Tess did when I told her about an hour ago. “We are trying to be friends.” I know how lame that sounds but it’s the truth.

Lacey just snorts as she trots her horse off. “Okay, start jogging.” I do as she tells me and at first the jarring motion makes me nervous for my back but then I settle into my old rhythm.

I jog for a long while before Lacey tells me to lope. I do and it is hard to keep my left leg stationary but I manage. I’m lucky it is The Biz and not another horse that would take advantage of my new handicap. I have always had so much control over my legs, that’s what made me such a skilled rider. Now, it is different I have to really think about keeping my left leg as still as I can. Sometimes when I think I am actually moving it to give The Biz a command I realize I haven’t moved it at all. This is going to take some getting used to.

“
I’m impressed, I think you did awesome! You have some issues to overcome for sure but I don’t think there isn’t any reason why you shouldn’t start riding again.” Lacey tells me beaming with pride.

“
Do you think I will ever show though?” I ask timidly.

“
Are you kidding me? Have you seen some of those fruit nuts out there riding around in the show pen? You have more skill and ability than most riders, even with your slight disability.”

“
Thanks Lace, I really needed this.” I tell her and climb down off my horse. The minute I touch the ground I know I have lost feeling in my left leg, I panic a bit but hang on to the saddle to prop myself up.

“
You okay?” Lacey watches me wide-eyed.

“
Yeah, I should have thought that through. I don’t have feeling in my leg so I need to stand her a minute until it comes back.” I’m thankful The Biz is so patient and understanding. He looks back at me almost asking if I’m alright as I lean my weight against him.

“
The Biz will take care of you, he knows.” Lacey hops down off her mare and leads her out of the arena. “When you’re ready bring him in here and I’ll pull your saddle off for you.” She tells me.

Lacey was kind enough to saddle my horse for me because I can’t lift that much weight. If I did start riding again I was going to have to adjust to not being able to do simple tasks for myself. I can tell that will be a hard adjustment for me, but at least I will be riding again.

CHAPTER 18

I ended up helping Lacey with the rest of the horses. It felt great being back in the barn and hanging out with Lace. It was well past eight when I closed up the barn and headed back to the house. Lacey took off hours ago for Jasper’s. I knew she was anxious to see him. She told me that he was excited to see me too and would be over first thing tomorrow morning.

I made dinner for myself and then snuggled into my parent’s huge overstuffed sofa to watch a movie. I must have fallen asleep part way through it because when I wake up the DVD is stopped on the obnoxious bright blue screen. I look around and the dark house, it gives me a bit of a chill to be here all alone. I stand up and stretch to head to my room when my phone rings. It’s Cutter.

“
Hello.” I say looking at the clock across the wall.
Why is he calling me at midnight?

“
Paige?” He seems upset.

“
Yeah, what’s up?” I ask.

“
Where have you been? I have been calling and texting, but you didn’t answer me.”
He was doing what?

“
Oh I fell asleep watching a movie.”

“
Well let me in. I’m at the front door.”
Whoa, what?

“
What are you doing here?” I run my hand threw my hair and realize I look like a hot mess. I rush toward the front door trying to straighten my short hair with my fingertips.

“
Open the door Paige. I can hear you on the other side of it.”
Crap.

I open the door because I don’t really have another choice at this point, he knows I’m awake. He is standing on the front porch in dark jeans and a black fleece jacket. He has on a baseball hat and he is holding a bag in his hand. The minute he sees me I see relief in his eyes.

“
What are you doing here Cutter?” I ask mildly frustrated with his overbearing nature.

“
I was worried when you didn’t answer your phone so I came by to check on you. You shouldn’t be home alone Paige.” He says running his hand through the back of his hair.

“
Well I’m fine. I was asleep.” I tell him.

“
Well I got worried. Can I come in?”
Say no Paige, say no!

“
Okay.”
Stupid girl!

I move out of the way and let him come inside the house. I turn and start walking toward the kitchen. I think he is going to follow right behind me, but he stops first and locks the door.

“
These doors should always be locked when you are home alone Paige.”

“
Yes, but I’m not alone am I?” I say with snark to my voice. He continues to follow me into the house and into the large living room. I know I’m limping slightly but that can be expected after riding today.

“
You’re limping.” He is watching me; his face is full of worry now. “Sit down Paige. What do you need?” He motions toward the couch.

“
I’m fine, I just overdid. I rode Biz today.” I don’t know why I tell him that, but it feels good to share my huge accomplishment.

“
Wow, that’s awesome!” He says smiling at me.

“
Yeah, Lacey convinced me I could do it and she was right. I have a long way to go but I think if I keep doing it I will get stronger. I know swimming at school has helped me a ton.”

I notice the once happy smile on Cutter’s face is now a scowl. I realize it is because I inadvertently mentioned Holden.

“
How often are you doing that?” He asks in a low voice.

“
Three times a week, I really enjoy it.”
Oh you are playing with fire here girl.

“
I’m sure Holden really enjoys it too.” He growls.

“
What is that supposed to mean?”

“
Nothing, I’m just saying I’m sure he loves seeing you in your bikini.” He says still with a very dark tone to his voice. I know this is really about Cutter being jealous so I decide I need to just meet this green monster head on.

“
You don’t own me Cutter. I’m allowed to have relationships with other people, you certainly did.” I know I hit below the belt on that one but I was sick of his crap.

He doesn’t say anything in return he just sits there looking at the ground. “I’m sorry” he says after a long pause.

“
It’s alright. Things are just different now. It will take some getting used to.” I try to ease the tension in the room but I don’t think my statement helped much.

“
I’m glad you’re riding again. Will you tell me about it?” He asks looking at me again with the lightness back in his voice.

I tell him all about my day at the barn. I tell him about riding The Biz and how great it felt. I tell him how I’m going to have to adjust because I can’t do regular tasks anymore, like saddle my own horse. He listens to me ramble on and he smiles the whole time. He even asks me questions about showing and I tell him all about my hopes of showing again. I had forgotten how easy it is to talk to Cutter. I realize now how much I have missed our friendship.

I know it’s late but if I’m honest with myself I don’t want Cutter to leave so I hold off as long as possible. Finally at around two in the morning I tell him it’s late.

“
You should get your rest.” He says in return.

“
I’ll walk you out.” I say standing up but my leg is still a little shaky. I don’t lose my balance but its close.

“
Here, let me help you to your room and then I’ll let myself out.” I know I shouldn’t necessarily trust him but for some odd reason I do. After everything that has happened between us I still trust him.