Living Again (24 page)

“Go on,” Kayley said, kissing him quickly. “I’m listening.”

“Our schedules were crazy. We were lucky if we got to see each other twice a week. But, after about six months of dating, we moved in together. That way, we knew at least we could see each other at some part of the day or night. Things were getting pretty serious, and we went to visit her family in Atlanta during the holidays. Her parents were well off and a big part of the Atlanta community, and they wanted her to move back home. They had no idea why in the world she would want to live in Florida, and though they liked that I was a doctor too and had aspirations the same as her, they figured that if we stayed together, she wouldn’t come back to Atlanta. Of course, though my family was here, I wasn’t opposed to living somewhere else, if that was what she really wanted. While we were there, I discussed with her parents the possibility of me proposing to Zoey. They approved, but wanted me to seriously consider moving to Atlanta and joining the big hospital group there.

When we got home, I bought the ring. I was convinced that Zoey was the one for me. My parents liked her too, though they rarely got to see us. I popped the question only a few months later. We had been dating just under a year but had known each other several months longer than that. We decided to have a long engagement, since work was so crazy we figured that it would take us a while to plan everything. She wanted the wedding in Atlanta, and I didn’t care about that, so she would go to Atlanta to plan every time she had a free weekend. Things were going well. We were both doing extremely well in our careers- we both had offers several times from huge hospitals around the country- and were planning our life together. I really, truly thought I had it all. I loved her with everything I had in me, and thought she did the same. Looking back, of course, I know that wasn’t the case, but I had no idea.” Ben stopped, taking a drink of wine and swallowing slowly. He closed his eyes, his mind back at that time.

“It’s painful for you still, isn’t it, Ben?” Kayley asked, lacing her fingers through his. As she looked at him, laying here next to her in her guest bedroom, baring his soul, she knew that he had been through it as well. Maybe not in the sense of someone he was in love with dying, but he had his own share of grief and brokenness, same as she did.

Ben opened his eyes and smiled at Kayley. “Here goes nothing,” he said, not answering her question. But he didn’t need to. The look on his face told her what she needed to know. “So we had been engaged for a year and our wedding was set to be in about six months. Zoey was in Atlanta again, and I didn’t question it. Our wedding was going to be rather huge because of her parents’ status in the area. But I ended up getting the weekend off when I didn’t think I would, so instead of telling her, I jumped in the car to go surprise her.”

Kayley stiffened, knowing that this was the part that was painful for him just by his body language. What in the world did this woman do to him? And why? He was the most caring, loving man. Even she knew that and had only known him for a very short time.

“I missed her so much. We really hadn’t seen each other much since she had been spending so much time in Atlanta. My buddy Cam encouraged me to go. We’ve been friends since high school—you’ll meet him soon—and so I took his advice and jumped in the car. I knew she had wedding stuff to do but I figured that I would do it with her, take some of the burden off of her for this shindig. Anyway, I drove to Atlanta. I had been to her parents’ house before but didn’t remember exactly where it was, so I had looked up their address on her paperwork from the hospital. I was trying to surprise her, remember. When I got to their house, they were surprised to see me because they hadn’t seen Zoey at all. They had no idea that she was in Atlanta. In fact, she hadn’t been to see them at all over the previous months when she said she was there doing wedding things. I end up calling her, not telling her I was in Atlanta but just to see what she would say. She told me she was wedding decoration shopping with her mom and she would call me later. Meanwhile, I was standing right in front of her mom. It was then that I knew that something was terribly wrong, but I wouldn’t admit it. Her mom called Zoey’s best friend, demanding that she tell her where she was and to not tell Zoey she talked to her. She gave her an address of an apartment in downtown Atlanta. I left them there, promising to let them know what was going on. Did I know what I was about to walk into? Not really. I had an inkling, but I kept making excuses in my head for why she would be there without telling her parents, and lying to me.”

Kayley’s eyes widened, knowing where Ben was going with this story. “She didn’t,” Kayley breathed, her heart pounding.

Ben’s eyes were serious as he fixated them on her face. “I drove to this apartment. I still don’t know why I did it, other than to prove that my suspicions were correct. I knocked on the door, and waited. I heard voices but couldn’t tell if one of them was Zoey’s. It took several minutes for the door to open, and I’m just standing there, feeling like my whole life is about to end. All of a sudden, this guy was standing in the doorway wearing a pair of basketball shorts and no shirt. He looked like he just gotten out of bed. Just then, I heard her. She called him from somewhere in the house, asked him who it was. It was at that moment that I snapped. I pushed the door open, shoved him out of the way, and went in search of Zoey. He was yelling at me, running after me, but I couldn’t stop. I had to see for myself that my fiancé really did what was obvious at this point.

I burst through the doorway of the master bedroom, and there she was. The guy was hot on my heels behind me, yelling and cursing and threatening to call the cops. But I was calling her name so he pretty much knew who I was, even if I had no damn idea who he was. She was laying in his bed, stark naked. This, this woman, who was supposed to love me, who took my ring and said she was going to marry me, the one who I said I would move my whole life to Atlanta for if that was what she wanted, was laying on this man’s bed, naked. I remember turning around, so angry I was shaking, and punching the guy straight in the face. Zoey screamed, jumping up and putting the sheet around her to cover her embarrassment. All I remember of the next few minutes was me crying and asking her why did she do this, and the guy staying the hell away from me but mumbling about being in love with her, and her crying and saying she was sorry but she couldn’t marry me. I ran out of that apartment, to my car, and drove back home. I honest to God don’t remember most of the drive. I was destroyed. I couldn’t even go to our house, Cam and a few other buddies had to pack up my stuff. Zoey never came for her stuff, and as far as I know they just threw it away. I never saw her again. I found out she quit the hospital, saying she got another offer in New York, and that’s the last I knew of her. That was over two years ago, and since her- I’ve never had another serious relationship. She wrecked me, my trust in love. I know now that she never really loved me.” Ben blew out a shaky breath, relieved to have told her.

Kayley sniffled, imagining the pain that Ben must’ve been in. “Ben,” she ran her hands through his hair. “That is absolutely awful. I can’t believe she would’ve done that to you. Why would she have continued your relationship instead of just ending it? It doesn’t make sense.”

Ben smiled wearily at her. “I know, Kay. It doesn’t make sense. That’s why I was so shocked. I mean, I thought I knew her! That’s something that really shakes your trust in people, when you know someone like I knew her. The fact that she was capable of doing that to me, without me having a clue, made me wonder if I was even cut out to have a relationship like that again. So, for the last two years, I didn’t. I intentionally avoided anyone who wanted anything from me except superficial. I only went out with women who were interested in no strings attached. Like Dana.” Ben looked down, embarrassed to admit that he had been one of
those
guys.

“I don’t blame you,” Kayley said, lifting his face up to meet hers and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Not. At. All.”

“Then I saw you that day at the hospital with Alexis, and something happened to me. I don’t want to sound all weird and shit and tell you that it was fate or something, but I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Attraction, yes, but something more. It was a feeling that I couldn’t stop. It felt- euphoric. Of course, once I knew your story, I realized something.”

“And what was that, Dr. Nichols?” Kayley teased, feeling closer to him since he shared his story. He smiled, pulling her closer to him. He ran his fingers through her hair as she nestled on his chest.

“What I told you that day at the therapy center was true, Kayley. We’re
both
broken, in different ways. We can understand the feeling of loss that we both have endured. I think, though, that when the right person comes along, the cracks can start to fill in again, and pretty soon, you can’t even hardly see them anymore.”

Kayley tipped her face up to his, and they kissed slowly, relishing in the closeness they were creating. “You don’t deserve what she did to you, Ben. You’re an amazing man, doctor, and friend. That was
her
problem, not yours. I understand those are just words. I know that because people have been trying to tell me for 15 months that I need to let Alex go. I get it. But I want you to understand that, Ben. A real woman would
never
do that to a man.
Ever.
What she did was cowardly and stupid and she will get what is coming to her.”

Ben grinned, cupping her face with his hands. “I just learned something else about you that is really, really sexy.”

“What’s that?” Kayley flirted, tickling his stomach.

“You get all feisty when you’re defending someone you care about.” His lips dusted hers, and they both smiled against each other’s mouths.

“Thank you for telling me,” Kayley said in response. “I know that wasn’t easy.”

“I wanted you to understand me. To know that this wasn’t easy for me, either, but I think that it’s worth it to find out where this could go.”

Kayley settled back against his chest. Ben stroked her hair, she ran her fingers along his chest, and they both fell asleep, entwined in one another’s arms, trying to let the past go.

“Ahhh,” Emily lay back in the dining chair, sipping her margarita. “Have I said yet how happy I am that it’s summer?”

Kayley threw a napkin at her best friends’ face. “Yes, you have, and damn you, not all of us have a job where we get two months off in the summer.”

“Two glorious months of laying by my pool, getting tan…” Emily continued, and the table of girls groaned.

“Really, Em, stop rubbing it in,” Alex’s sister Amber piped up, sipping her margarita as well. Rachel nodded her head in agreement, throwing her napkin at Emily, too.

“What’s going on in here?” Alex’s brother, Adam, boomed. “Don’t we all have some work to do? You ladies are sitting around here looking all cute and drinking margaritas like it’s a fiesta!”

The girls laughed and scooted their chairs back. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Amber scowled at her brother. “Let’s get this done so he can go home and we can have more fun.”

Kayley looked at her two best friends and Alex’s siblings, and smiled. Though this was going to be one of the more difficult tasks she would do, she was happy that she had the support of these wonderful people. In true Emily fashion, she made it a fun night, making dinner and margaritas.

She handed each of them a box, a silence coming over the group. She was so grateful that Alex’s brother and sister had come, since she knew they would want some of their brother’s things. And honestly, she hadn’t spent enough time with them since Alex’s death and she missed them.

“No tears tonight,” Kayley announced, and it was as if a cloud was lifted from the room. Everyone began chatting again. “Anything you want of Alex’s, Amber and Adam, you take. All of the clothes will be boxed up, labeled, and donated to the church down the street. Anything that is pictures or memories that you all don’t want can be put in boxes and labeled, and I will be looking through those myself. There is stuff of his in the office, books and magazines and things, and then, of course, my room.”

Amber and Adam walked towards the office, and Emily, Rachel, and Kayley turned to head to the master bedroom. Emily slung her arm around her shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, Kay. Who are you, anyway? I don’t know this girl. She’s strong, determined, and has a plan. And a no tears rule? Wow.” She elbowed her gently, teasing. Rachel giggled and agreed. “Yeah, I was really thinking this was going to be a somber occasion at best. Guess Hot Doc has really gotten to you.”

Kayley rolled her eyes, opening the door to her master bedroom. They dropped the boxes on the bed. “This is the new and improved Kayley,” she said to her friends. “I’m determined to look more confident than I really am.”

Emily looked at Rachel. “It’s Dr. Yummy, anyway. Get with the program.”

Rachel held up her hands in surrender. “Excuuuuuse me.” The three of them giggled.

“Emily, you’re too much. Dr. Yummy,” Kayley laughed, holding her stomach. “His name is
BEN
, you two.
BEN
. And he is…dreamy,” she looked out the window, a small smile playing on her lips.