Living Again (19 page)

Ben met her eyes, a question there. Kayley nodded, a lump the size of Texas in her throat. If she hadn’t been enamored with Ben before, she certainly would be after this. “Ben,” he told Alexis. “Ben.”

Alexis looked at Ben, then looked at Kayley. “Mommy.” Kayley nodded and pointed to Ben. “Ben,” Kayley repeated.

“Ben,” Alexis repeated perfectly. “Ben.” She put her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder, the monkey stuffed under her arm. “Ben. Mommy. Wex. ‘Key.” She lifted up her head and pointed at the picture. “Dada.”

Kayley couldn’t stop it- tears ran from her eyes without warning. This was the most surreal, yet meaningful moment she had ever experienced with Alexis. “Yes, Lex, that’s Daddy. He’s in Heaven.” Ben watched Kayley, knowing she was conflicted in this moment. Alexis laid her head down on Ben’s shoulder, content with the answer. Ben reached out and pulled Kayley closer to him, putting his arm around her shoulders. Kayley sighed and lay her head on Ben’s chest. He pressed soft kisses on her head, then Alexis’. She sat there, for heaven knows how long, in disbelief that this was happening to her, but never in her life feeling so content.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked, almost afraid of the answer. He had spent the entire day at Kayley’s, playing with Alexis, helping cook dinner, going on a bike ride around the neighborhood, and just talking. He learned that Kayley was a fantastic cook on top of everything else. Now Alexis was asleep for the night, and he and Kayley were sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. The television was on, but neither of them were watching. It had been a monumental day, including moments ago when Alexis was going to bed and insisted that Ben take her into her room. He smiled, unable to stop the feeling that today had been a turning point for all of them.

“Okay, Lexi, time for night night,” Kayley had said, helping her into her pajamas. Alexis looked over her shoulder at Ben, who was sitting on the couch.

“Ben,” Alexis stated, pointing over Kayley’s shoulder at him. “Ben ni ni.”

Kayley had turned, looking directly at Ben with a fire in her eyes. “Ben, I think you’ve been summoned.”

After Kayley kissed her goodnight, Alexis reached for Ben and he laid her in her crib, tucking the stuffed monkey he had gotten her in the hospital under her arm. Kayley waited at the door, a smile on her face.

“Goodnight, Alexis. And thanks for today, little girl. I definitely owe you one,” Ben had whispered to the baby girl already half asleep in her crib. She blinked her eyes and then smiled.

“I’m great, Ben,” Kayley said, looking into his eyes. “Alexis certainly has you wrapped around her little finger,” she laughed.

Ben laughed back, setting his wine on the table next to them and moving closer to her. “She’s not the only one,” he said seriously. He touched her face, his breathing quickening as she leaned into his touch. “Thank you,” he said, moving closer to her face and looking directly into her eyes.

She searched his face, her stunning emerald eyes boring into his. “For what?” she asked quietly, watching him intently. Ben smiled and leaned his forehead into hers so they were almost kissing.

“Everything, baby. Everything. Today was amazing. Thank you for letting me in and letting me be a part of this. You’re an amazing woman, Kayley, and Alexis- she’s simply adorable. I cannot remember having a day as fulfilling as this one. I’m proud of you. You did something you didn’t think you could do.” He pressed his lips softly to hers, breathing her in.

“And what’s that?” she asked against his lips.

“You allowed yourself to feel,” Ben answered, pulling her to him, unable to stop the feelings he was having from coming out in his kiss. He parted her lips with his tongue and she opened willingly. He held her face in his hands as he kissed her passionately, knowing full well he was getting totally out of hand with this kiss but unable to stop it.

Kayley groaned, running her hands through his hair and down his face, never relenting on the kiss, either. She began whimpering as Ben moved from her lips to her neck, unable to stop the noises from escaping her lips. Ben’s hands were roaming down her body, and her body shook from the anticipation of what he was going to do next. She
knew
what she wanted him to do, and she couldn’t believe those thoughts were going through her head.

“Kayley,” Ben groaned himself, “I’m not sure what to do here. I want everything you will give me but I’m afraid of pushing you too far. Please- tell me what you want.” His blue eyes darkened with desire, Kayley swallowed the lump in her throat. Her every sense was heightened, and she had never felt more conflicted in all her life.

“Ben,” she whispered, trying to keep eye contact with him. “I am feeling the same thing you’re feeling. I just don’t know if we’re thinking clearly about this. I don’t think it’s the right time, as much as my body is screaming at me for saying that right now.” Kayley laughed, trying to break the tension. “This has been an incredible day. I want to keep seeing you.”

Ben’s heart almost beat out of his chest at her words. She was right, as much as he was attracted to her and wanted to show her in every possible way, it was also very soon. He didn’t want to ruin the progress they had made by getting too physical too soon. He planned on making their first time special.

“You’re so right, Kayley,” Ben agreed, moving back. “I want to do this right, in every way. I want to spend as much time with you and Alexis as you will let me. I want us to share everything, to be best friends. I want us to get to know everything about each other. And, of course, I want to kiss you silly every single time I see you.”

Kayley picked up her wine glass and took a sip. “I think I’m ready for that, Ben. You showed me I am.”

“Does that mean I get your phone number now?” Ben teased, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Kayley leaned over, putting her lips against his neck. He smelled like some sort of wonderful cologne that she would love to know what it was so she could smell it daily. She kissed his neck, feeling brave. She traveled to his ear, then ran her tongue along it. “I think you’ve earned it,” she whispered into his ear.

“Kayley Carson, I’m warning you,” Ben said, his voice strained. “If you do that again, I will not be held responsible for what happens.”

She laughed, loving this playful part of being with him. She held up her hands. “Okay, okay. I won’t touch you again.”

Ben growled, moving quickly and pinning her to the couch. “Don’t say something like that,” he said against her mouth. “I may not survive if you don’t touch me ever again.” He kissed her quickly on the mouth and stood up. “I think I need to go,” he said, holding out his hand for her to take it. She stood up, feeling sad that he was leaving but knowing it was probably for the best. “I have to work very early tomorrow.”

“Me too,” Kayley yawned. “What’s your number?” She grabbed her cell phone off the counter. Ben smiled, making her heart rate speed up. He took the phone from her hand and programmed his number into her phone.

“There you go,” he said, his voice husky as he looked at her. “Call me anytime, please.”

“Same for you,” she agreed, “I texted you from my number so you now have it.” She opened the front door to let him through, then left it open a crack so she could listen for Alexis and walk him to his car. As he walked past her car, he noticed the crystal pendant he got her dangling from her rearview mirror, and he smiled.

“Do you have the same schedule every week?” Kayley asked.

“Unless there’s an emergency or something,” Ben answered. “Unfortunately, I work a lot. Somewhere around 60-70 hours a week.”

“I work Monday through Thursday from about 8 until 4. I’m off on Friday’s,” Kayley offered, looking away shyly.

Ben stepped up to her, pulling her to him in a tight hug. “Kayley,” he breathed into her hair. “This may sound desperate, but I want to be with you whenever we both can. I know we both have crazy schedules, and you have Alexis…”

“I want that too,” Kayley interrupted. “Obviously Alexis has no issues being with you. I would say you have greatly proven yourself, Dr. Nichols. Or is it Dr. Yummy?” She leaned back to look at him, a playful smile on her face.

Ben laughed and kissed her sweet lips one last time. “Whatever you want to call me, I will answer to. Can I call you tomorrow? I should be off around 7.”

Kayley stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again. “Yes, Ben. Please do.”

“Are you busy?” Emily’s voice came over the line the second Kayley answered the phone. Kayley grinned at the phone, knowing exactly why she was tracking her down in the middle of the work day.

“Lucky for you, I’m in between patients. What’s up?”

“What’s
up
? Are you kidding? You send me a text at like midnight, full well knowing I’m asleep and won’t see it until this morning, and all it says is, and I quote, ‘Best.Day.Ever.’ That’s torture, Kay! You have five minutes until my kids get back to my classroom to explain yourself. It’s the last week of school and these kiddos are insane, so make my day. Start talking.”

Kayley laughed, knowing exactly what she had done to her by sending that text, but she couldn’t help it. It was so much fun to mess with her. “Okay, okay,” she giggled. “Well, Ben showed up at my house yesterday afternoon, which I’m sure you know since you gave him my address-”

“You’re welcome,” Emily interrupted. “Go on.”

Kayley sighed, her mind going back to the day before. “He showed up here with flowers, then we went in the house and…” Kayley trailed off, a smile playing on her lips at the memory.

Emily made an impatient sound. “Kayley Lynn! Come
on
! He’s hot as hell, I’m sure he is talented in many areas, but I can’t listen to a play by play of that right now. I need some drinks while listening to that. Three minutes. Let’s go, girl.”

Kayley shook her head. “Okay, okay. Yes, he’s all of that, but moving on…Alexis woke up from her nap and I totally freaked out.”

“Oh my,” Emily breathed, understanding. “How did he handle that?”

“I somehow got over it and he was very calm. I got her up and he got her a sippy cup, and us some tea while I was in her room. Then, get
this
,” Kayley looked around, making sure she still had privacy. “Alexis makes me put her down and then goes up to Ben and wants him to pick her up.
Then
, she drags him over to her toys and starts playing, and doesn’t even
notice
that I’m not there! Then she falls and hits her head on table, and
runs to Ben!
She wouldn’t let me touch her at all. Here’s the kicker, Em. She walked to her room and came back with the monkey that Ben got her in the hospital.
She remembered him
! Can you believe that?”

Emily gasped. “Kayley,” she whispered. “That’s amazing. How did Ben deal with all of this?”

“He loved her, Emily. He stayed all afternoon, playing with her and helping me and just talking. Then, we went on a bike ride to the park and pushed her on the swings. After we got home, he helped me make dinner and stayed with us, too. Then when it was her bedtime, she wanted Ben to put her in her bed. I was standing at the doorway and he whispered something to her and she smiled.
God, Emily
, if I wasn’t totally smitten with the guy before that, I think he just sealed the deal. The best part? We were totally in a-uh, compromising position several times yesterday, and he refused to go further. Is this guy for real?” Kayley voiced the concern that had been swirling in her head. Was this guy just too good to be true?

Emily grinned at the phone. “He seems amazing. I’m so happy for you. I want to hear even more details about it later. My kids are about to come in. But to answer you very quickly, please don’t doubt what’s happening here. Unless he shows you otherwise, believe it. He genuinely seems to be one of the good guys.”

“He does,” Kayley agreed. “But why hasn’t someone snatched him up yet?”

“My kids are here,” Emily stated. “But, Kayley, maybe no one snatched him up yet because he was waiting for you.” With that, she said goodbye and disconnected, leaving Kayley staring into space, thinking about Emily’s statement. Did she really believe that?