Living Again (27 page)

Kayley blinked at him, trying to focus on his words. “What?” All she could register is that he stopped touching her and started talking.

Ben laughed, smoothing her hair back and kissing her gently. “Food. I made a good dinner. Let’s eat.”

Kayley frowned, looking over at the kitchen. “Well, it does smell good in here,” she admitted. “But I was enjoying
that
meal.” She looked at him, unabashedly scanning him up and down, and smiled. He loved this playful, flirty side of her.

Ben closed the space between them again, and cupped her face with both of his hands. “I can promise you that this is just the beginning of tonight, baby.”

Kayley’s body clenched at the seductive tone to his voice. It was almost as if her crossing the threshold to his house tonight was the breakdown of another barrier between them. It
felt
different, here with him alone. Things were more serious, had more of an undertone than any other time they had been together.

Ben took Kayley’s hand and led her to the table. “Wine?” he offered. When she nodded, he poured her a glass and handed it to her. As she sipped, she watched in awe as he moved effortlessly around the kitchen, draining pasta, plating chicken, and removing garlic bread from the oven.

“When did you learn to cook?” Kayley asked.

“My mom had this funny rule that I couldn’t drive a car until I learned how to cook myself food. She taught me all the basics, and I was required to cook for my family once a week. After that, I found I actually liked it. Even though I don’t have a lot of time to do it, I do it whenever I can. I especially enjoy making something new. But this, my love, is a classic and one of my favorites.”

Ben set a plate of steaming pasta and chicken in front of her, and her stomach growled in response. “Chicken Marsala, just for you. But wait! We have garlic bread and salad too.” Ben put the bread in a bowl, removed the salad from the fridge, and then sat next to her.

“This looks amazing. Thank you.” Kayley leaned over and brushed her lips with his. He lay his hand on her leg under the table and rubbed circles with his thumb.

“Let’s make a toast,” he offered in response. She smiled and lifted her glass. “To us. To new beginnings and wonderful surprises.”

Kayley clinked her glass with his and put it down. He was a new beginning and a wonderful surprise. She cut into her meat, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. Spearing a piece of chicken and some pasta, she brought the fork to Ben’s mouth, a seductive smile playing on her face.

His eyes flashed with desire as she waited at his mouth with the fork. Boldly, she took her foot and ran it up his leg. His mouth opened and she delicately put the food in his mouth. Watching her, Ben chewed slowly. She leaned over, kissing his neck, then ear, then lips with the pace of a snail. Ben swallowed carefully, not wanting to chance dying from choking on food at this moment. Kayley took that moment to sip her wine, then press her lips to his. Opening her mouth, she let the wine cascade into his mouth.

Ben tasted the sweet wine, mixed with the taste of Kayley, and could barely hold back what he wanted. Desire for this woman surged so strongly through his veins, he shook with anticipation. He pulled her arm and she stood, coming over and straddling him in that beautiful dress.

“You’re getting brave, baby,” he breathed in her ear. She laughed, a sexy, throaty laugh that only fueled his desire to take her right now. “I love it.”

Kayley leaned back, her arms linked behind his head and her body pressing into his. “You make me feel safe, Ben, to be brave,” she admitted. His heart soared at her words.

“Kayley,” he started, kissing her softly. “I want to say something, but I am afraid to push you too soon.”

She smiled, the smile that curled his toes and made his heart beat faster. “Ben, you can tell me anything. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” He touched her face. Kayley leaned into his hands, her heart fluttering. She watched him as he seemed to struggle with himself.

He leaned his forehead against hers so that they were looking directly into each other’s eyes.

He took a deep breath. “I love you, Kayley Lynn Carson. I am desperately and hopelessly in love with you. And Alexis.” Ben watched her face, his pulse racing as he waited for her reaction.

Kayley sat, staring at this man, this beautiful man who just said the most amazing words to her. Her hands shook as she reached up and touched his face. Her stomach flipped in the most glorious way, and her head raced. He loved her? He was in love with her?

Tears filled her eyes as she looked into the eyes of the man that had changed her entire life. Six months ago she didn’t know him. In that time, everything about her life changed for the better. Because of him. This sexy, kind, amazing man
loved her
. What did she ever do to deserve the love of not one, but
two
wonderful men in her life? Thinking of Alex didn’t cause her pain or guilt, not this time. This time she stared into the eyes of the man that she loved, and felt the most amazing sense of freedom and peace.

Ben watched as her eyes filled with tears. He didn’t know what kind of internal battle she was fighting right now, but he hated to see her cry. “Kay,” he whispered, pressing his lips to hers gently.

She silenced him by putting her finger on his lips. “Benjamin Joseph Nichols, I’m the luckiest woman on this planet. I’m
not
crying sad tears, though I know that’s what you’re used to from me. Thank you so much for being such an amazing man. I can’t believe that you love me, and that you want me, and that after all we both have been through, we’re here together. I love you too, Ben.” Her voice caught and one tear escaped from her eye. Ben caught it, pressing it to his lips and absorbing it.

“I love you,” she repeated, smiling. Ben watched her, loving the expression on her face as she realized that she had survived what she never thought possible. And she loved him, just as he loved her.

“I love you,” he repeated, pulling her as close as their two bodies would allow. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought I would tell you tonight, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.”

“For so long?” Kayley echoed.

“Kayley, I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you.”

“I’ll be right back,” Kayley said, taking her bag and heading for his bedroom. Ben watched her go, unable to stop the smile from crossing his face. She loved him. For the first time in a few years, Ben felt amazing. Feeling loved had to be the best feeling in the entire world.

After dinner, though it had to be reheated, Ben and Kayley had spent hours laying on the couch, talking about anything and everything, from serious to superficial. He loved that they could do that so easily. She was such a funny, witty person, and he enjoyed when she got sarcastic with him. He loved hearing about her antics with Emily as kids, and the things she did with her big brother, Kevin. He lay back on the couch, wondering what Kayley was up to, and closed his eyes. His big plan for tonight had gone off without a hitch. Of course, he would love to show Kayley how he felt as well, but at this point, sleeping with her in his arms would be gratifying enough.

He remembered the dessert that he bought, and stood up to go get it. “Hey, Kay?” he called. “I forgot that I got dessert. Do you want some?”

Kayley opened the door to his room, now standing at the entrance to the living room. Her legs shook with nervousness.
He loves me,
she reminded herself. At the sound of the door, Ben turned. He gasped as he took in the most beautiful sight he had ever seen standing there, smiling nervously.

Dessert forgotten, he stared open mouthed at Kayley, the woman he loved. She was standing in his doorway, wearing a small, see through pink lace lingerie top and even smaller, just a scrap of lace and string, pink thong panties. On her amazing legs were matching pink garters. She wore pink high heels, and had her hair pinned up on her head in a loose bun.

His mouth was so dry, he couldn’t make a sound or speak. He opened and closed his mouth several times. She looked like every man’s fantasy, but she was here with him, she was
his
.

“Which dessert would you like?” Kayley purred. It was then that Ben noticed she had put more makeup on her gorgeous face. Her jade eyes were outlined with dark liner, her lips hot pink. Her cheeks were flushed but he was pretty sure that was from the heat they were both radiating in this room, because he felt as if he could implode.

Kayley grinned when she realized Ben was absolutely rooted to the floor, his mouth open and unable to speak. The sexy doctor, who could have any number of women falling at his feet, looked at her like she was an oasis in a dry desert. She felt powerful and sexy as she closed the distance between them. She would have to thank Emily for keeping her from freaking out in the lingerie store based on what she was seeing right now. The reaction she had just gotten from him she would remember for a really, really long time.

“Cat got your tongue?” Kayley played, standing in front of Ben. His eyes drifted from her face down her body and back again, but he still didn’t move or speak. With her heels, she was a lot closer to Ben’s height and that made it easier for reaching his handsome face while he was completely and totally frozen. If his eyes weren’t smoldering, she might’ve felt insecure the way he was unable to utter any sounds from his sexy lips.

Kayley kissed his lips, leaving some of her pink lipstick there. She stuck her tongue out and wet his dry lips, and Ben came alive. He seized her around the waist and pulled her to him, his hands roaming the fabric between them. He crushed his mouth to hers, tasting the inside of her mouth like he was a dying man in need of nourishment. Just as abruptly, he broke away and stepped back from her.

“I have to see you,” Ben said huskily, finally speaking. He raked his eyes up and down her body, then turned her so he could see the back. The outfit, if you want to call it that, left not much to the imagination. The small thin piece of satin that ran in between her cheeks and along her slim hips made his mouth water, as well as the sheer pink lace that accentuated her beautiful breasts. “I can’t believe you did this for me. I will never, ever forget this. Ever. You’re the hottest, most amazingly beautiful woman I have
ever
, and I mean
ever¸
seen. Kayley, you practically made my heart stop. I love you, baby.”

Kayley beamed at his admiration of her, feeling confident that she did the right thing. Watching Ben watch her was enough of a turn on all in itself.

“Did you make your choice?” she teased, running her finger down his chest.

Ben looked at her quizzically. “Choice?” His brain still wasn’t functioning at 100%. He was pretty sure he lost all blood flow there.

Kayley threw her head back, laughing. “Oh Ben, Ben, Ben,” she purred, using her fingers to quickly unbutton that bothersome shirt he was wearing. When she had it unbuttoned, she ran her fingers up and down his sculpted abs before shoving his shirt off his shoulders. She then leaned over and kissed him from his Adam’s apple to his belly button, then stood up, meeting his eyes. “You aren’t paying attention, are you, Ben?”

His breath became erratic as she moved her hands through his fine chest hair, abs, and to the button of his jeans. Once again, he couldn’t formulate words. She made quick work of unbuttoning his fly, and the pants dropped easily to the floor. He stepped out them, still watching her.

“I want you,” he managed to choke out, his eyes still wide and wondering what she was going to do next.

Kayley smiled, turning her back to him and walking towards the bedroom. “That’s a good choice, Ben. A really good choice. And it just so happens, I really want you, too.”

Mentally smacking himself across the face, he followed her into his bedroom. He was acting like a fool!
Come on man, she’s totally showing you up
. He shook off his shock at what she had done to please him and concentrated on the fact that he wanted to show her tonight how much he loved her.

Kayley stood by Ben’s bed, looking on the outside like she was a sexy vixen trying to seduce her man. On the inside, however, she was terrified. She wanted Ben in every possible way, and every part of her body screamed for him. Tonight would change everything. It started with them acknowledging their love for one another, an enormous step for both of them. Right here, right now, would ensure for her that there was no going back. She was going to give herself to Ben. For her, that meant something big. She was ready to do that, but that didn’t make it any less intimidating.

Ben stopped in front of her, his eyes trained on hers in an intensely sexual gaze. She could feel his desire rolling off him in waves. “I want to make love to you, Kayley. For me, doing this with you isn’t about sex. I want to show you that I love you. So please, don’t doubt that this is very real for me, too. I love you, and I’m going to give myself to you, if you will have me.”

Kayley gasped, wondering how in the world he could basically respond to the thoughts that were in her head. He had just dispelled all of her fears. “I’m yours, Ben,” she whispered, and with that, the last piece of her heart was gone.