Living Again (21 page)

Kayley nodded. “Thank you, Ben. She really enjoyed being with you, too. But I wanted it to be just us.” She looked down, seemingly embarrassed for admitting that. “Well, and a few thousand hospital goers. Oh and your flat out gorgeous ex-girlfriend, too, that brought me up here to see you.”

Ah, there it was. The insecurity of talking to Dana. Ben put his sandwich down and turned to Kayley. “Kayley, do you trust me?” Ben asked.

Kayley looked him dead in the eyes. “I really want to, Ben,” she whispered. “She’s absolutely gorgeous. Why did you break up with her for me?”

Ben growled, frustrated that Dana would have the audacity to speak to Kayley about their relationship. “First of all,” he said, cupping Kayley’s face. “She has
nothing
on you. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. Period.” He kissed Kayley’s eyes, then nose, then her soft, perfect lips. “Second, I’m really, really sorry that she just happened to be down there when you got here and she figured out who you were. Let me tell you about me and Dana.” He settled back in his seat, his sandwich half eaten on the table. Kayley did the same, needing to hear this before she could finish eating.

“This could be a long story,” Ben started, looking at the wall clock. “So we may not get to talk about it all right now. But, telling you about Dana is first and foremost so you don’t get the wrong idea. You see, Dana and I have worked together for several years now, and I used to be pretty serious with a doctor around here, Zoey Peterson.”

“Pretty serious?” Kayley interrupted, starting to look more and more uncomfortable.

Ben sighed, not really sure that Kayley was ready for this entire story but knowing he now had no choice to tell it. “Zoey and I were engaged.”

Kayley’s mouth dropped a little at that news. “Engaged? What happened? Is she still here?”

Ben shook his head. “We were engaged for a year. She moved to New York after our breakup.” He took Kayley’s hands in his and traced the lines on her fingers with his. “But, let me tell you about Dana and then I’ll backtrack.”

“See, after Zoey and my breakup-which was horribly painful for me-Dana was a friend. She knew Zoey and of course knew me from working here. We started hanging out as friends, and then, we started a relationship. But not like that-not like us, Kayley. I told her right from the beginning that I was damaged goods, that I had no desire at all to have a relationship again with
anyone
. Dana was okay with that. We didn’t ‘date’. We just…” Ben struggled for the appropriate words to describe what they were.

“She was your sex buddy,” Kayley finished, putting her head in her hands. “Wow,” she breathed, trying to stop the thoughts from racing through her head and making her panicked. Ben and Dana. And he was engaged before to another doctor? “She’s in love with you.” Kayley looked up at him. “Isn’t she, Ben?”

Ben pulled her hands to his face and kissed both of them. “Kayley, it wasn’t my intention at all to lead her on. I honestly didn’t think that she felt any differently about our arrangement than I did. She
knew
what Zoey did to me, and she also knew that I had no desire to have any relationship with anyone again. Until you. Meeting you, it changed me. I still can’t explain why, but I just knew I had to get to know you, I had to find out whether I was capable of a serious relationship again.” Ben broke off to allow Kayley to process his words.

She looked at him, pain evident in her eyes. “And?” she questioned. Ben hated that look in her eyes. He could feel it, he was unraveling every bit of progress that he had made with her. This was a conversation he had hoped to have much later in their getting to know you phase.

“I’m ready,” Ben stated, wanting badly to press his lips to hers but not knowing whether it was a good idea or not. Kayley’s eyes glittered with unshed tears.

“Ben,” she breathed, putting her hand on his arm. He smiled at Kayley’s touch, feeling the electricity travel his body. “Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Lord knows I have baggage. Don’t mistake my being upset for this being a deal breaker. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to understand.”

Ben couldn’t help it. He closed the small space between them and pulled Kayley’s face to his, kissing her hard. He planted kisses all over her face and neck, his heart pounding and his pulse racing. She responded by wrapping her arms around his waist, running her hands up his back. She tilted her head back, allowing him better access to her neck. Goose bumps broke out on her body at the feel of his hot lips devouring every part he could reach. She knew it was not the time or place, but she wanted him, and badly. She surprised herself at that thought, knowing that honestly, she didn’t know Ben hardly at all. Her body, however, thought she knew him just fine and wanted to know him better, right now.

Kayley bravely untucked his shirt from his dress pants and ran her hands up his sculpted abs and chest. “God,” she breathed as he skimmed her breasts lightly while continuing to kiss her neck. “You’re so hot, Ben.” Ben stilled, moving his face to look into hers, and her stomach constricted with nerves. A huge smile broke out on his face, and she couldn’t help but to grin back at him.

“Oh yeah?” he teased, pulling her shirt out of her pants. “I happen to think the same of you, Miss Carson. But hearing you say that out loud makes me all kinds of hot, baby.” He stood, quickly crossing the small office and locking the door. Kayley watched him, his shirt untucked, hair messed, and a grin on his face, and knew. If Ben didn’t put the brakes on what was happening here, she wouldn’t. The thought of that surprised her, but she found that it didn’t scare her. She stood, meeting Ben in the middle of the floor. She looked him in the eyes as she began unbuttoning that sexy dress shirt. His eyes locked onto hers, and the heat that she saw there burned her to the core. She made quick work of the buttons and pushed the shirt off his broad shoulders. He then stood in front of her in black dress pants and a white undershirt. The muscles of his chest and arms weren’t hidden by that thin white shirt, and Kayley wasted no time helping him remove that as well. Their sandwiches were forgotten on his desk as they were hungry for more than the food could offer.

Ben stood in front of Kayley, now in only his pants, trying to will himself to breathe. He had no idea if he should continue this, but really,
really
didn’t want to stop it. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” he whispered, almost praying that him saying something didn’t wake her up from this dream. He reached over and tugged on the bottom of her polo shirt, pulling it easily over her head and dropping it to the floor. He had to stop himself from gasping at her, standing there so sexy in his office, now wearing only her pants and a sexy black lace bra. He ran his hands over her smooth shoulders, then down to the cups of her bra.

“I will
never
think of this office the same, Kayley,” Ben said. “I’m not sure I will ever get any work done in here again.” Kayley laughed, making his heart squeeze. “You’re so beautiful.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to the place in between her breasts, and she gasped.

“Ben,” she said into his hair as he explored her. He stopped, looking up at her and praying she didn’t tell him to stop. “I’m-I’m not just a thing for you, right?” Kayley looked into his eyes, her heart pounding and her body screaming, but needing to know the answer.

“I made you doubt us,” Ben whispered, his face even with hers. Kayley shook her head no, but Ben silenced her with a kiss. “Kayley, you’re not just a thing to me. Not ever. I care about you more than I ever thought I would care about anyone again. Please, believe me.”

“I do,” Kayley said against his mouth. She took his hand and led him to his plush leather office chair, then bravely pushed him into it. Ben watched this woman that was quickly capturing every part of his heart, wondering where in the world this was going but unable to stop it. She stepped up so that her legs were touching his, and he couldn’t stop the shudder that went through his body. He had never wanted anything more than he wanted her, right now.

Kayley took a deep breath, having no idea what had gotten into her, but refusing to stop. She unbuttoned her pants, and Ben’s eyes immediately followed her hands. He looked back into her eyes, and what she saw there fueled her to keep going. His blue eyes were dark and completely fixed on hers. She undid the zipper on her pants and started to push them down her hips.

Ben sat up, startling Kayley. “Please, let me,” he begged, putting his hands over hers. She moved her hands and nodded slightly, giving him all the permission he needed. He slowly pushed her pants down her hips until they fell to the floor. Ben’s eyes traveled the length of her body, and she swore she was going to internally combust just by his look. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Kayley stood in front of him, wearing a matching black lace thong and that sexy as hell black lace bra, and it was all Ben could do to stay rooted to that chair. Seeing her in that pink bikini had been one thing- but seeing her here, her clothes in a puddle on the floor and her standing in her underwear in front of him, it did him in.

“Ben,” Kayley whispered, shifting from one foot to another. He reached out and ran his hands along her slim hips. His fingers ached to touch her in every single place on her body, but he was afraid to scare her. “Ben,” she said again, louder this time. He looked up at her, still running his hands along her delicate skin. She leaned over and kissed him, her lips feeling like fire and her tongue exploring every part of his mouth. The passion in her kiss shattered Ben’s resolve, and he pulled her towards him, his hands on her very fine backside. She straddled him in the chair, pressing herself to him. A groan started in the back of his throat as they connected in the most intimate way. Kayley began moving against him in a very slight, but noticeable way, and Ben wondered how long he could keep this up before acting like a teenager.

Ben’s hands traveled her body: her hips, her thighs, and along the edge of her very small panties. Kayley touched him as well, as they continued to deepen their kiss. Noises came from Kayley as Ben got braver, moving his hand from the edge of her panties down. He was in a battle in his mind right now- the part that was screaming at him to keep going, and the other part that was jumping up and down and telling him not to push her too much just yet.

Kayley sat up straighter, putting her breasts directly in front of his face. He breathed in and began kissing her, from her neck down to her bra line and back up. At the same time, he moved one of his hands slowly to the front of her, gauging her reaction. She gasped, pulling her hands through his hair and arching her back. The primal reaction she had to him almost touching her drove him to continue, and he used one finger to move her panties out of the way. She froze and he looked up at her face. He thought he would die if she said stop now, but he also wanted to make sure that she was okay.

“Kayley?” Ben questioned. They both were panting with sexual tension. Her face twisted into a huge grin and she moved her hand down in between them and unbuttoned his pants. Ben closed his eyes briefly at the sensation of her brushing against him, and took that moment to touch her with one finger. Feeling her there was amazing, and Ben had to concentrate hard to keep himself from ruining the moment by embarrassing himself. “Oh. My. God.” Ben bit out as his finger touched her wetness. He ran his finger gently along her and then into her, in disbelief that this was happening.

“Ben!” Kayley moaned, reaching her hands to the waistband of his boxers. Kayley had never been more turned on in her life. She felt like she was having an out of body experience right now, but never wanted to come back to earth. His finger moved inside of her, and she couldn’t stop her hips from moving with it. She could feel how aroused he was, and it fueled her to keep going. She reached inside and touched him with one hand. Ben groaned, stilling momentarily.

“Dear God,” he muttered. Kayley ran her hand up and down the length of him, feeling him grow and lengthen under her hand. She looked him in the eyes as she kissed him, her tongue dancing with his as they continued to touch each other. Ben, no longer thinking at all, moved another finger inside her and watched as Kayley began to lose control.

“Yessss,” she hissed, rubbing her thumb along the top of him and her hand along the rest of him. She was quivering, and he knew that she was close. He gritted his teeth to try to hold on. Pressing with his free hand at her sensitive spot while moving inside her with the other, she came apart, gasping and moaning and calling his name. It was the most satisfying moment of his entire life. As she calmed, her strokes slowed down and her kiss became softer. Ben ran his hands back up her body and to her face.

“Kayley,” he said against her mouth. “Remember how I told you after that kiss that you had ruined me from any other kisses ever again?” She nodded. “Well, what just happened here? You just ruined me from any other woman. Ever. That was absolutely incredible. You’re incredible.”

Kayley flushed, almost embarrassed at what had happened but in too much bliss to really care. She looked down at him, still very aroused, and smiled. “You didn’t have any fun.” She touched him again, and it was all he could do to not lose it right there.

He laughed. “Baby,” he said into her ear. “Don’t you worry about me. I had more fun than you can even imagine.”