Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch (20 page)

When you are first learning about your partner’s genitals, adequate light- ing is vital. Most people are conditioned to doing “it” in the dark, under the covers. We are not asking you to give this up but rather to add to your reper- toire some new ways of having pleasure, including with the lights on and on top of the covers.

Most guys also appreciate it when a woman takes time to focus some ad- miring attention on their genitals, although this seems to be somewhat less important to men. Before a woman lubricates and starts stroking the penis, or before she puts it into her mouth and starts licking and sucking, it feels good to have her move the pubic hair out of the way and execute some pressing or stretching or pulling movements.

Here’s a fun motion that both men and women enjoy. Place your palm firmly over the pubic area, above the genitals, and tug upward. Start with light pressure and incrementally add more while asking your partner if they would like increased pressure. (We discuss this touch in detail below.) Once you know your partner’s preferences you can immediately use their favorite pres- sure if you wish. People’s preferences do change over time, so it is a good idea to check in with your partner once in a while.

Y Exposing Her Clitoris Z

The upward tugging described in the previous section will generally expose a woman’s clitoris from under the hood (see Figure 3 on page 35). Remark how beautiful and sexy her clitoris is. You can ask her to feel the air on it or even blow a puff of air onto it with your mouth. You will be surprised at how much pressure most women can enjoy on their mons area. The more pressure you are able to exert here, the more exposed her clitoris becomes. Being able to ex- pose the clitoris is very important, because as long as the clitoris is hiding un- der the hood, you will be unable to take complete control and reach the full potential of her sensations. Exposing it properly will facilitate access to all ar- eas of the clitoris and make your job much easier than if you were digging in the dark. Some women enjoy this move so much that strong visible contrac- tions may result each time you tug.

Another playful way to expose her clitoris is to position two or three fin- gers above the hood and pull back (see Figure 4 on page 35). To increase her pleasure, you can press your fingers into her body. Again, learn exactly how she likes it by starting lightly and incrementally progressing to greater levels of pressure.

For another technique she may really enjoy, place your index finger on one side of her clitoral hood and your middle finger on the other side, pads down, and, while applying pressure upward and inward, pull back on the hood to ex- pose the clitoris. You can play with squeezing the hood and clitoris together between your two fingers, varying the amount of pressure applied. As always, begin with a small amount of pressure and continuously ask if she would like more. Once you learn what her preferences are, you can be more playful and perhaps somewhat less inquisitive.

Sometimes I like to put the tip of one finger against the clitoral hood and exert pressure toward the clitoris (see Figure 10 on the next page), which al- lows me to touch the different quadrants of the clitoris through the hood. I am not really stroking, just pushing inward. Nor am I exposing the clitoris here, but deliberately giving her pleasure through the hood. Some women will show signs of orgasm with this touch; again, report any such signs that you notice. Be sure to communicate with her in advance about what you are

doing, keep her informed during your touching, and ask questions that she can easily answer about her preferences for more or less pressure.

Figure 10.
Pressing the clitoris indirectly through the hood

Try placing your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoral hood (see Figure 11). Now gently squeeze and release, squeeze and release, using incrementally increasing pressure. You will be surprised at how much pres- sure you will be able to exert. A fun little stroke to use from this position is to

clitoral hood

clitoris

Figure 11.
Putting pressure on both sides of clitoral hood

squeeze the hood in a kind of rocking motion so that the clitoris moves in and out and up and down. We call this one the Yo-Yo stroke. With it, you can practice instant orgasm one slow squeeze at a time, with a long pause between squeezes, or you can go faster, making the clitoris bounce up and down.

Later in the chapter we describe more ways to expose the clitoris (see the section “Retract the Hood”).

Y Pressure on the Lower Abdomen Z

We’ve briefly described how to press with your palm either above the pu- bic hair on the lower abdomen, or slightly farther down, directly on the pu- bic bone. Not everyone will like this move but many people do, both men and women. Your partner may enjoy this more after she or he has been stroked for a while on the clitoris or penis and is already in orgasm or feel- ing intense sensations. I really like to have this area pressed down and released while a woman is stroking my penis (see Figure 5 on page 37).

In conjunction with your strokes on your partner’s genitals, you can press down and release, press down and release. No lubricant is necessary in this lo- cation as it is not erectile tissue and you are not really rubbing but rather press- ing and stretching. Try pressing and stretching in all the different directions to determine which directions, how much pressure, and which speeds feel best to you and your partner. Some people may feel orgasmic just from doing this, so keep an open mind and enjoy the play. You can also press and stretch the lower abdominal or pubic area as you simultaneously press through the hood to the clitoris with the fingers of your other hand.

Y Pressure on Her Entire Vulva Z

Put your hand over her entire genital area, with the heel of your hand on the pubic bone and your fingers pointed downward. From here you can use your fingers to press against the perineum or lower labia or buttocks cheeks, and use your palm to press against the upper labia and the clitoral area. Alternate applying pressure first to one area and then to another. Notice any signs of or- gasm, such as contractions or wetness. Tell your partner what you are sensing and how much you’re enjoying yourself.

You can also use this touch while lying next to your partner without look- ing at her genitals (see Figure 12). It’s not necessary here to be too precise in your movements; just have fun and feel the pleasure, which are always the goals. Sometimes using very little motion—for example, by just placing your hand on her genital area and leaving it there—produces much pleasure. Of course, avoid leaving your hand stationary for too long. As we have explained, the way to maximize sensation is to create differences in sensation. If you keep your hand in one position or use a particular stroke for too long, your part- ner’s positive feelings will eventually fade. After keeping your hand still for a while, add a little squeezing and releasing. This can be a fun way for your part- ner to practice feeling the burst of attention that triggers instant orgasm. Ask your partner to refocus her attention with each cycle of squeeze/release.

Figure 12.

Lying side-by-side

with a partner

Sometimes, before any stroking, I will press my fist against a woman’s perineum and introitus area. I may use my other hand to pull her clitoral hood upward (see Figure 13). From here I can alternate where I apply pressure, no- tice her response, and report what I see. Again, some women, especially those who have a highly developed capacity for orgasm, will feel great pleasure with this move and even show signs of orgasm.

Figure 13.
Pressure on perineum and mons

Y Squeezing His Penis Z

Women, you can create a lot of pleasure in your man by squeezing his pe- nis, even without progressing to any other types of touches. Of course, this could also be a way to merely start the action. Press with your fist against his perineum (see Figure 14). Take delight in touching and holding the penis, the scrotum, and the whole genital area, from the lower abdomen to the anus.