Innocence of Love (22 page)

“How are you?” his voice shaking.

Sophie could see no point in holding her daughter with him around as she would continue crying with her being agitated. She passed Calvin storming back to the pram to place Kacey inside while she continued crying. Sophie rocked the pram back and forth. 

“She has a healthy set of lungs,” he chuckled.

“And that means to you?” She snarled, watching his face change to dishearten.

“I was just being…” He paused. “Forget it…so, pleased she is out of the hospital, I bet it’s better for you?” He smiled at her.

Sophie glared at him. She watched him gulp. “You’re keeping well? You look good…” he added. She wasn’t replying, scowling hard at him. “I am here for the weekend Ross’s birthday,” he told her.
Like I care!
“So, I’m up for the weekend,” he announced sceptical, taking a few steps toward her. “When do you move in your house?” he asked, clearly trying to get an answer out of her or make pathetic conversation.

“And what has that got to do with you?” She raged, his face dropped.

“Sorry, just trying to be nice, but clearly you aren’t interested. However,” he roared. “Could I have Sabastian’s parents’ number so I could contact them?” he insisted.

“If you must,” she seethed back.

“Well, sorry, but he happens to be my son,” Calvin threw back at her while she reached into Kacey’s changing bag to retrieve her phone. Sophie listened to her daughter sobbing her heart out, aware she needed to be fed, but there was no chance she was doing anything with him hanging around.

She gave him Caroline’s number. “There, now you have no reason to ever contact me again, leave me alone,” she growled at him.

“Suits me fine, if you wish to be like that,” he argued while she watched him clearly storing the number into his phone. “The fact you will not listen to my side of the story, doesn’t matter,” he said cold.

Then, without further hesitation, she watched Calvin walk away. She turned around to watch him as he walked back into the rear of the pub, without so much as giving her a glance. Bile filled her throat, hating the way she behaved. Regardless, she resented him, despite the fact he was just wonderful and helped her through her misery, there certainly wasn’t any medallions offered.

She soon found herself thinking about what her father said about him, how sweet he had been to look after her and never called the police on her,
brave man
where his words.

Sophie could hear her daughter crying.

Something played heavy on her heart, when she saw her father walking toward her with a glass of water.

“Did you send Calvin out here?” she had to ask firmly.

“Kind of, he said he needed Sabastian’s parents’ number and I told him to go and see you,” he said sitting down the bench opposite her.

Sophie raged. Her heart being torn out her chest, yet, knowing he was inside the building, sent her entire body weak and full of nerves.

Sat on the bench she rubbed her shoulder, a cold shiver came over her body, just knowing Calvin was only a short walk away from her. How could she possibly feel this way toward him? Why the heck had she come over so cold? She couldn’t get him out of her mind?

She rolled her tongue over her teeth deciding there was one thing urgently pressing, to feed her daughter. She drank the water and tried her hardest to calm down her breathing and relax her shoulders, before trying again to feed her daughter. She inhaled a deep breath and Kacey soon latched onto her nipple and started taking her milk. The last thing she needed was creating feed times to be a nightmare for herself and her little bundle.

What upset her more was a bad urge to go into the pub and tell him how much he hurt her, and how much she lusted for him. How she hated the way he treated her, leaving her worthless, after everything she’d been though in the past, she’d poured her heart to him. How could he have been so nasty? She had hoped he had guessed how she felt.

****

“Penny for them, or do I need to send a search party out for them?” Ross mocked.

Calvin lifted his head to stare into his blue eyes.

“Okay, I don’t want a penny, but I’ll tell you what I think…you and Sophie Richards, now where on earth do I begin? Okay,” Ross scoffed, sitting forward he stretched his arms followed by elbows on the table and used his hands to rest his head. “Calvin loves Sophie. Calvin has messed up. Calvin’s paying for the consequences where she no-longer wants to have anything to do with you. You cry. No you’re full of self-pity to the fact you made a mistake and she has blown it all out of proportion. The fact remains you’re doing your best to stay out the way and yet, less than an hour ago you saw her and now your brain is working overtime.”

“I can see it in your eyes my good friend. Phone number of Sabastian’s parents…you already had it. Was that the best you could do? I mean hell, Calvin…”

“She wouldn’t talk to me. It was like getting blood out of stone. She hates me for what Tim said and I cannot go back on what he said, as I have no idea.”

“I have told you, you said nothing. I was with you…he must have seen you both head in the barn or emerge out…you said nothing, but smiled all evening and got drunk.”

“Was that an indication I got lucky?” Calvin snapped.

“Hell, no, but he might have…”

“Yeah, but what pisses me off is the fact we might have been talking. Just because he might have seen us go in or emerge out the barn, doesn’t mean anything happened between us, even if it did.”

“I agree, but unfortunately people or mindless busybodies jump to their own conclusions.”

“So why did he say that?” Calvin asked him.

“Jealous? I don’t know. What I do now is that girl out there that you’re in love with and I would be damned if I am going to watch you torture yourself in this way. The last time I spoke to you, you sounded like you’re miles away, you haven’t concentrated on a damn thing since you walked away from Sophie.” Calvin glared into his eyes. “Okay you never concentrated before, well since Sophie came into your life.”

Calvin lifted his brows.

“Your father told me and wanted me to talk some sense into you. Look give her time to calm down and go and see her.”

“She’s staying at her father’s until the house is ready for her to move into.”

“There you go then, wait a while and then go and see her.”

“I’ve arranged to see Sabastian soon,” Calvin informed him.

“So, it’s not like she is going out clubbing later is it. Catch her when you come back.”

“But we’re out.”

“Stop chickening out, Calvin, for goodness sake. You’re searching for excuses to avoid her. Yet you love her. Tell her for goodness sake, this is ridicules. Just tell her before you shatter and no-one can piece you back together,” Ross snapped.

Calvin knew what he needed to do! Ross was right, he did look for excuses, it stole him of all his courage earlier to go outside and confront her, to find her response very dismisses. He just needed to find a way of telling her the truth about that night. The truth, whatever that was he wasn’t sure if Ross was telling the truth, he didn’t remember, however he’d never known Ross to lie, being best friends.

He had spent the last two months torturing himself thinking about Sophie and Kacey how he wanted nothing more in his life than the pair of them. But right now, he was against a world war and Sophie was armed with more guns and grenades than the army had. He had to try to find a way of breaking down her wall, make his way through to get to her. He bet she’d many traps ready to pounce on him sensing he would end up broken hearted.

His phone sounded
Deepest Blue
by Deepest Blue, he still hadn’t had the heart to change the ringtone even if it crippled him every time he heard it. He saw Caroline ringing. He swiped his finger across the screen and placed it to his ear, when he saw Ross leaving him.

“Hello, Caroline, is everything okay still for later?” he had to ask.

“Hello, Calvin, yes, we are all good to go. Just wanted to check you were still okay about the meeting?” she asked sweetly, unlike Sabastian’s biological mum.

“Gosh, yes, I would never let him down. Has Sophie seen him recently?” He had no idea why he asked that, but he had.

“Yes, the other day we all got together for lunch and Kacey was a little diamond,” she told him, he smiled.

“Wonderful. Right I will see you shortly,” he added. They said their goodbyes.

He sat at the table, unable to eat a thing. He wasn’t nervous about meeting Sabastian again, if anything excited and promised his mum he would take a picture, if of course they allowed him. Calvin cautious having Sophie sat outside. He could no longer conceal the pain he had to go and tell Sophie he needed to speak to her urgently this evening without any arguments.

Calvin stood barging passed Ross, seeing him coming back from the gents.

“Where are you going?”

Calvin was a man on a mission he wasn’t going to stop until he saw Sophie, if he had to shackle her down and if he needed the use of bondage equipment, then he would. He wasn’t any-longer going to be the pussy and allow her to walk all over him without hearing his version of events. He felt determined, strong, ready to blow, only he wouldn’t say anything harsh in front of Kacey, that wasn’t his game, but he would ask for a quiet word, with no-one to overhear them.

He dashed out the pub rushing to the beer garden, only to find they had gone.

He stopped. He sighed, quickly he glanced around the car park for any traces, nothing. Calvin ran to the main lane to see whether he could see her, but not a trace. He crouched down to the floor holding his head in his hands not believing what the hell he was doing. Struggling to breathe, holding his heart, all he could think about was Sophie and how much he would do anything to hold her in his arms, yet why were there always cracks to appear making his life a living nightmare? He just wanted to love her. Take care of her. Show her all the love in the world. Spoil her rotten and engage in some of the most amazing things together, bringing up a family.

Was it ever going to happen?

****

Sophie wished she hadn’t run into Calvin, annoyed of all the pubs in England they had to choose the one on their doorstep. He had no right to visit the damn local! He had no right to be in the pub when she had been. He had no right to…
grrr.

She ached after the months of trying not to think about him, trying her best to get over him, then like a magic wand suddenly he appeared…not what she wished for in the slightest. Her heart pined for him. She inhaled and exhaled fast, trying to calm down her emotions, not needing to have him walking back into her life causing complete mayhem.

How could he just re-appear like that and expect her to open her arms and talk to him?

She sat in the rear garden of her father’s house, rocking her daughter back and forth, lost and anguished to seeing Calvin once again. Of course she expected to dump into his parents after all they lived only a few miles from the village but Calvin, no, not allowed. He lived in London and that was where he should stay.

The last few months had been the toughest! Kacey got an infection setting her well-being in reverse, but her daughter was a good fighter like her mum. Kacey being ill had set Sophie’s heart and emotion crazy again, adding to the hormones. Kacey stopped feeding having to remain in the incubator for a few days that almost killed her. At the time she saw no end to the madness and taking her small daughter home appeared to be getting further and further away. All she craved was to take her baby home to love her. The house was in progress and her father had gone back to work and popped in the hospital when he could. The truth was there had been a certain person who she missed the most…but wasn’t about to admit that.

There had been days, nights she wished he would just stand by her side and tell her
everything will be okay
that wasn’t to be and she was alone. Visions of Calvin had played on her mind, her heart skipped beats a few times with the pain. However, how could she forgive him for what happened all those years ago, boasting about her to his friends? Okay she might have blown everything out of proportion, wouldn’t listen to reason forgetting he’d been a young man.

They both behaved dismal at times, but in her heart there were no excuses. Nevertheless, she knew it was the results of that night that made her resent him. If she hadn’t fallen pregnant and ended up living the way she had, she wouldn’t have thought anything about it, but the situation was she had and with him boasting about it only added further distress.

She shook her head needing to clear her thoughts and remember who was important, Kacey and keeping regular contact with Sabastian. Sabastian loved, adored his little sister, keeping her family together was all that mattered, the only sorrow was, the break-up of her parents. Sophie understood her father’s feelings. The fact remained her mum had lied, her mum’s behaviour left her life in turmoil with no escape, no matter what direction she took it had been the wrong one. Forgiveness was something she struggled with, hoping in time it would get easier, but getting hurt was the make-up of her life she didn’t need anymore.

“Sophie,” she heard her father’s voice behind her.