Innocence of Love (26 page)

“Can I have time to think about him…it’s just moving too fast for me,” she added.

“Have you ever thought he has to move fast with him heading back to London and not knowing when he would come back…unless you give him something to come back for. Sure, he has his family and friends, but there is nothing better than a woman who loves him, for his heart and soul.” He smiled.

“I do love his heart and soul…I just need…I need…I…” She stalled not having a clue what she wanted when her heart was already telling her what would be good for her and Kacey. “What about the house?”

“What about the house? Now you’re moving too fast. Take it slowly, you’re not in a marathon to how fast can we speed up, minutes ago you were having silly doubts and now…look…be true to your heart, Sophie, you only get one life and the way you treat it is down to you. Personally…I see wedding bells…and another grandchild.”

“No you don’t,” she mocked pushing him.

“I can…and I bet you all the love in the world…I’m right. Dad knows best,” he marvelled standing up adding a wink at her.

Her father walked off back toward the house while she sat looking at her daughter, so precious, so vulnerable, delicate and beautiful.

“Okay, Kacey, what do you think Mummy should do?”

****

He sat in the restaurant that overlooked the river Ouse, seeing the barges travelling up and down the river with loud intercoms telling the tourists about the city. The river was down which made a change, it was normally flooded and flooded well. He immediately found himself thinking about the river running through his parents land…he didn’t wish to think about that river, where he found Sophie…or Kacey, which she called herself at the time. He could see the terror, anguish in her eyes, terrified to end her life, but where she had been, was hell, he could understand why she considered that option, but he saved her easing his heart.

“This is wonderful, Ross,” said Ross’s mum wearing a white dress, her hair pinned up, heavy make-up and his father in a charcoal suit with black shirt.

“Sure is, Mum,” Ross replied after they had placed their orders for the meal. The bottles of wine, one white and one red, situated in the middle of the posh table with a flower arrangement.

“So pleased you could make it, Calvin, has been such a long time since we’ve seen you,” Ross’s mum added.

“Yes, well with me working in London…” he mocked and even saying the word London made his stomach curl The thought of being that great distance from Sophie, Kacey, and Sabastian, killed him.

“Ross, was telling us you found out a short while ago you’re a dad.”

Calvin switched his glare to Ross, not being thankful to be sharing that information with anyone then he remembered he had done the same thing with his parent’s, when he discovered who Kacey, real name Sophie was on the application form.

“Yes, I have…he’s nine,” he told her. His heart ached.

“Good God, he didn’t tell us how old he was…I bet that came as a serious shock to you?” Ross’s mum added as his dad gazed at him across the table.

“Yes, it was, but I have met him and he’s a wonderful boy, and doing so well, visited him today and intend to keep in close contact with him,” Calvin elaborated and thought about earlier events and how he would love to endure more superb days. However, first he needed to concentrate on Sophie and winning her heart. He had told her his peace and that he loved her, now he had to sit and wait. He had thought that maybe walking away hadn’t been the right move, but he needed to give her time to narrow up her options, the girl had dealt with more than enough recently.

“Well, that sounds like it’s working out. What about the mother?”

Calvin gazed at the woman unsure how on earth he was meant to answer such a question. His heart pounded in his chest, the realism of how he would tell the story was becoming a fear. Then again…why should their opinions have anything to do with Sophie and his relationship? He loved her and whether people thought they were getting together for the wrong reasons…that was their problem not Calvin and Sophie’s.

“She is…in close contact with me,” he mentioned stepping carefully.

“Oh, and when did you find out about your son, bet the news was terribly shocking for you?” Ross’s mum asked.

“It was, and only a few months ago…it’s a long story,” he indicated while glancing at Ross to keep his big mouth closed.

The meal arrived and they all continued talking. Calvin had made the decision not to drink alcohol, being indecisive about what he should do…about a certain woman, unsure if to call her or…

“Sorry, but I have to go,” he urgently announced standing knocking the table. “I have something pressing and I cannot leave it any-longer before my head explodes.” He made his way around the table squeezing passed the tightly fitted chairs. “I’m sorry,” he apologised; watching them shell shocked at him.

“You haven’t finished your meal,” Ross’s mum mentioned.

“I know and I am sorry.” He reached into his trouser pocket to get his black leather wallet and counted out some cash and passed it to Ross. “Sorry, have a good night, mate, I will make it up to you,” he told him patting him on the shoulder.

“Sure.”

“Hope whatever it is you need to do gets sorted.” Ross’s mum smiled.

Calvin made his way toward her kissing her on the cheek.

“I am sure it will. Thank you,” he shook Ross’s dad’s hand.

In a hurry he shot off quicker than the speed of lightening. On a serious mission nothing was going to get in his way. His heart thumped in his chest, mouth-dry as he became confronted by drunken idiots, but he bypassed them and headed immediately to his car. The air was tight, even though getting dark. He could hear loud cheers coming from youngsters enjoying their evening.

He located his BMW and without hesitation jumped in and drove out the car park, heading to the first junction when he heard the sound of police car sirens. He looked in his rear view mirror, they were after him. He rolled his eyes,
just what I need!

Calvin pulled his car into a safe spot. He turned off the engine. He sighed heavy not believing his luck, just typical when he was on a mission. He certainly wasn’t speeding, and there would only be one thing left, they suspect he was drunk driving. No chance.

He saw the officer walk up alongside his door which he lowered and smiled…unsure if that was the right thing to do.

“Now then, sir, we wondered if you would come and join us in the back of our car,” the officer said.

“Of course.” He could hardly argue. He grabbed his car key. He carefully climbed out the car, locking it. Calvin wasn’t prepared to kick up a fuss, after all he hadn’t drank a drop, due to him thinking about Sophie and desperately needing to get to her, he guessed he would be delayed.

The officer opened the rear door. Calvin climbed in, being asked a series amount of questions, about his car driving licence, insurance, they did check which of course all came back fine. They asked about his whereabouts, being honest he said a restaurant celebrating his best friend’s birthday.

“And you live in London?”

“I do, but planning to move back up here for a woman, if of course she will have me. That was where I was heading,” he added not wishing to be smug, but just put them in the picture he hadn’t got all night.

“Very nice, been drinking?” The officer asked.

“No, not a drop been on water,” he said truthfully.

“If you would so kindly blow into this machine, sir, just to confirm you aren’t over any drink driving limit.”

“Of course,” he offered. The officer placed the tube close to his lips he inhaled a deep breath, and blew. He was told to keep going, keep going, until he almost turned blue.

The test over and Calvin had nothing to fear, the guys were only doing their job, he held great respect too officers, dealing with the things that they did. He had watched so many police programmes to know the gist.

“You’re clear, sir, and free to go, sorry for bothering you.”

“No problem,” he acknowledged when the officer climbed out the car. He opened his door allowing him to escape.

“Have a good evening and hope it goes well with the woman, they don’t half make our lives hard work,” the officer mocked.

“Tell me about it, but she’s worth fighting for.” Calvin smiled. He made his way back to his BMW. The officers overtook him leaving him by the side of the road.

He sighed. Now he had a harder task to deal with…Sophie Richard’s.

****

She stared at the ceiling, hearing her daughter breathing, cooing at times, making her heart fill with happiness. She had spent nothing, but the last few hours thinking about what Calvin and her father had said to her. She wondered whether she really could have a distant relationship. She couldn’t see how it would work, talking to him on the phone wasn’t the same as having him close by her side and spooning into her making her feel secure and content.

How her mind worked overtime to the thought of Calvin being close, holding her tight generating his body heat. It was his company she needed, nothing else, yet the reminder of him kissing her softly played on her mind. She touched her lips, rubbing them gently, craving his touch again. She sighed and hitched her breath, wishing she hadn’t stood in shock, but reacted differently to his approach. She felt stupid. There she had been standing there like a statue gawking at him. he bet he thought she was a freak, but then…the thought of horror came to her, her body and how repulsive it was, stretched skin, stretch marks that now dominated her body, sagging boobs, that leaked whenever touched…no-way would she allow him near her.

Tears filled her eyes…the thought of him seeing a single part of her body in the state it was in haunted her, if…what he said was true about coming back and seeing her she would try to send him packing…her body was repulsive.

She threw the thin sheet of her body and stood. She found her slippers and tiptoed to the bedroom door and opened it enough to fit her body through. She headed to the main bathroom. Sophie switched the light on and pulled off her thin nightie that made her sweat. She placed it on the side of the bath and walked to the full-length mirror. She stood staring at her body. Bile filled her throat standing, glaring at her unattractive figure, with multi-map of England on her tummy and hips, the scar from her C-section bright red looking disgusting. Her boobs were massive and heavy with huge nipples and areolas. She turned around to glance from the rear, seeing further stretch marks.

Sophie broke down in tears at the sight, wondering how other new mums coped with such a sight, but then again, many of them had partners, and he would love her no matter what. She could hear what Rob would say,
you look vile, disgusting, and not good enough for me, fuck off.
She swallowed hard and sobbed her heart out. Her knees giving way, she lowered herself to the floor. She curled up into a tight ball, huddling up, sinking her face into her knees…she was nothing special. Calvin would not find her attractive once undressed.

Slowly she headed back to bed. She sunk her bottom into the soft mattress aware she would have to tell Calvin to stop being stupid and find a good excuse to make him leave her. She had to convince him to forget about her, move on with his life. She had so many issues to resolve before even thinking about getting involved with the opposite sex. Although,  she might be better off spending the rest of her life single, at least no one would be able to tell her how, horrid she looked.

She heard voices coming from outside due to her window being open. She climbed back out of bed curious to the visitor at this time of the night. She strolled to the window to see a BMW.

“Calvin.” She smiled. When reality struck her down gulped, remembering she had to try and finish whatever brewed between them, despite the fact her father had tried earlier to reassure her about him.

Sophie grabbed her dressing gown from the back of her door. She quickly wrapped it around her body tight and flew downstairs. She saw her dad stood at the door talking to him. Calvin saw her his face light up.

“Sophie,” Calvin said delighted. He charmed a stunning smile.

Her father turned around to see her as her heart skipped many beats inside her weak chest.

“I will leave you both to talk. I thought you were tucked up in bed,” her dad mocked.

“I was, but now awake,” she informed him.

Her dad walked passed her and walked in the direction of the kitchen. Her breathing heavy, mouth dry aware she had to do what she had to do. Calvin stood on the doorstep. Sophie gawped at him and gave a half smile, having the words ready to slip out her mouth about their relationship and how stupid it was.
It’ll never work, me and you will never be. We need to stop this foolishness and move on with our lives.

“I thought you were out this evening?” she choked.

“I was, but couldn’t stop thinking about you. I would have been sooner, only I got pulled by the police, having them breathalysing me.”

“Oh really, I am guessing you blew clear as you wouldn’t be here in your car,” she scoffed moving closer to the door having her arms folded making sure the robe never came apart to reveal her foul body.

“Yes, I blew clear…I never had intentions of drinking.” He paused.