Indulgence (389 page)

I made my way over to the round table by the window in the
library. Sam and Rick were already seated, the picture of a perfect couple.
They’d been dating for a little more than a year. When they first got together,
I felt very awkward about it, but did my best to hide my feelings. These two
people meant the world to me and I didn’t want to lose their friendship due to
a bout of jealousy.

“Hi,” I greeted, taking a seat next to Sam. She was wearing
a form-fitting, white polo shirt tucked into her belted black jeans. Her
brunette hair fell over her shoulders. Sam had perfect hair, like a model in a
shampoo commercial perfectly straight, no frizz or flyaways.

“Jake, did you work on your essay last night? I could take a
look at it for you,” Sam offered.

“I could use your help,” I admitted. I pulled my laptop out
of my bag and turned it on. Once I’d opened my file, I slid the computer toward
Sam. She began reading at once.

“You’re not going to miss my game, are you?” Rick asked.

“No, Richard,” Samantha said, sounding like a tired old
housewife. “Jake and I will be there for the game.”

I chuckled. “I don’t know, Rick. You’ve seen one basketball
game, you’ve seen them all.”

“Hey, there will be an NBA scout coming to watch the game
tonight! You two are my good luck charms.”

“You can’t possibly expect the scout to pick you out of all
the players.”

“Gee, Sam, thanks for the support.”

“I’m just being realistic. You should stay in school and get
your degree. You’re on a scholarship and you should take advantage of that.
You’ll be glad you did when your NBA career is over,” Sam said.

“Well, at least you believe I can have an NBA career.”

“Of course I do.” Sam leaned in and kissed Rick on the
cheek. “You’re an amazing player. I believe if you work hard, you can get
drafted.”

Her remark lightened Rick’s mood. I was happy to avoid being
caught in the middle of one of their arguments.

“I gotta go,” Rick said. “I’ll see you both tonight.”

Sam watched Rick as he exited the library. “Thanks for
playing nice,” I remarked.

“No point in fighting with him now, only to ruin his game.”

“You’re a wise woman, Sam.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And very humble,” I teased.

“I can’t help it that I’m usually right,” she said with a
wicked grin.

“I’m going home after we finish here. I promised Jenna I’d
give her a lift to the game tonight.” Jenna was Rick’s younger sister. She was
seventeen and in her senior year of high school. The Welshes lived next door to
me and my granddad, so it was no big deal to have her tag along.

“Great. It will be good to see her.”

The gymnasium was filled to capacity. There was a buzz of
excitement emanating through the crowd. They were psyched that it was Friday
and the Villanova Wildcats were playing their rival, Georgetown. The bleachers
were a sea of blue and white. People were holding banners and pom-poms, geared
up for a showdown. I sat between Sam and Jenna. Sam was holding onto my hand so
tightly it had become numb. I don’t know what type of drug Rick was taking, but
I wanted some, too. He was on: flawless, strong, and energetic. I wished I knew
how that felt. I longed for the gazes of admiration that came with being a star
athlete.

“Samantha, I’m losing feeling in my hand,” I gently
whispered in her ear as she watched Rick bound down the court with great
intensity.

When my words finally sunk into her brain, she released my
hand. “I’m sorry, Jake. God, I’m so nervous for him.”

“He’s having the game of his life. If that scout is
watching, he’ll certainly leave a lasting impression.”

She looked at me and smiled. “I hope you’re right.”

The clock began to count down the final seconds and Rick was
in possession of the ball. He poised for the three-point shot.

“He’ll never make it,” Sam said.

“Just watch,” I responded as the ball sailed through the air
and hit the rim of the basket, tipping into the net. Rick did it! Our team won
the game.

The crowd roared to life. Pandemonium ensued as fans rushed
the court. Sam jumped up and down on the bleachers, screaming her excitement.
The next thing I knew, she was in my arms. In that moment, I swear time
stopped. Sam and I had a platonic friendship; I didn’t understand why I was
feeling an odd flutter in my gut. Then she kissed me on the lips. It was just a
quick, friendly kiss, but it surprised me. I sucked in a breath. Before I could
say anything, Samantha was passing me and running down to the court to
congratulate Rick.

Maybe it was best she’d left me. What could I possibly say
to her? Jenna stood next to me. She silently put her hand on my shoulder and
gave a faint smile. We sat together in silence, waiting for the rest of the
people to leave the stands so I could hobble down alone and undetected once the
gym was empty.

The next morning, Rick walked up the front porch stairs to
my house, his hands in his pockets to ward off the December chill. “What are
you doing sitting out here? It’s freezing.”

“Just needed to clear my head.”

“About what?”

“Nothing,” I lied. How could I tell my best friend I’d been
dreaming of his girlfriend all night?

“Sam and I looked for you after the game. Where did you go?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. It was kind of crazy in there last
night and my leg was bothering me. I drove Jenna home. You were amazing last
night. I’ve never seen you play so well.”

“Thanks, man.” Rick shivered and blew out a cold breath.
“Think we could go inside?”

I nodded and Rick opened the door for me. My granddad was
sitting in his favorite chair reading the newspaper. “Hey, Mister Lewis,” Rick
greeted.

“Hi, Rick.”

We went into my bedroom. I sat down on the desk chair and
Rick sat on the bed. “What’s on your mind?” I asked. Rick was acting strange,
sort of excited and nervous all at once.

He glanced at the closed door and then back at me. A smile
crept onto his lips. “Last night, after the game,” he began in a hushed tone,
“Sam and I had sex.”

I swallowed hard, my mouth dry. I wanted to be happy for
them, but felt a pang of regret. I couldn’t speak.

Rick gave me an odd look. “Did you hear me? We had sex.”

“Congratulations?” I offered, unsure how to react to the
news.

“Why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not weird. What do you expect me to say? ‘That’s great
you fucked my best friend?’”

“You’re mad at me because I had sex with
my
girlfriend?”

“Rick, Sam is like my sister. I don’t know if I want to hear
the details. How would you feel if I told you I hooked up with Jenna?”

I watched Rick ponder the question and shake his head in
disgust. “Okay, I see what you mean.”

“Do you love her?” I asked, needing to know.

“Yeah, I think I do.”

Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I had hoped for a little
more conviction. Sam and Rick’s relationship ran hot and cold they were either
fighting like bitter enemies or so hot and heavy that I couldn’t stand to be
around them. I guess that’s where the term ‘love-hate relationship’ came from.

“Jake, you’re my best friend. Who better to share this
with?”

God, I wanted to wipe that stupid grin of his face. “I’m
happy for you two, really.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear the details?” Rick
asked, raising his eyebrows for effect.

“No.”

“I’m starving. Want to go to IHOP for pancakes?”

I chuckled. If Rick’s mind wasn’t on basketball, it was on
food. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

The three of us sat in a booth, eating pancakes: Rick got
the ‘all you can eat’ deal; Sam got whole wheat and banana; and I had
buttermilk with raspberry syrup. I felt like a voyeur, watching Rick and Sam
eat breakfast Rick, with his All-American good looks and muscular body; Sam,
tall and leggy, with a perfect complexion and long, brunette hair. They were
sitting next to one other silently eating, but they would glance at each other
on occasion. I guess the only way to describe that look was one word:
love
.
Samantha looked positively radiant with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and
a dreamy expression on her face.

When we finished breakfast, Rick got up to use the men’s room
and pay the bill, leaving Sam and I alone in the booth.

“You’re glowing,” I said, admiring her happiness.

“He told you, didn’t he?” she asked slightly embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, I stopped him before he got to the gory
details.”

“I wouldn’t have minded if he told you. You’re my best
friend, Jake.”

“Are you happy?”

She nodded her head furiously, her lips curled up in a
smile.

“Then I’m happy for you, too.”

Sam reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “You’re
amazing, Jake. I hope someday you find love, too.”

My granddad and I spent Christmas next door with the Welsh
family. I don’t know how a family of six lived in such a small house, but I
loved the cozy feeling of the place. Always did. Mr. and Mrs. Welsh became my
honorary mom and dad after my parents died. I guess when you have a big family,
one more person is no big deal. I was lucky in so many ways: I survived the
accident; I had my granddad; I gained a family of brothers and sisters, thanks
to the Welshes. Rick was the third of four children. His oldest siblings were
John and Jason, twins who were four years older than Rick and about to graduate
college. The youngest was Jenna.

The house was filled with sound. There was holiday music,
the guys cheering over the football game on the TV, the rattling of plates and
dishes in the kitchen as Mrs. Welsh and Jenna prepared Christmas dinner.

It may seem strange, but all the merriment and cheer made me
just as sad as it made me happy. I snuck off from the crowd and headed for the
bathroom. It was quiet there a welcome reprieve. I sat on the edge of the tub
and took a few deep breaths. That seemed to help calm me down. My therapist
said it was perfectly natural to have mixed feeling about the holidays. Most
people who have a great loss at that time of year will forever associate that
holiday with the sadness of that tragic event. But knowing it was okay to feel
that way didn’t make it any easier to deal with the emotions.

There was a light rap on the door. “Jake, are you in there?”
a feminine voice asked from the other side.

I stood, with the help of my crutch, and walked over to the
closed door. I opened it to find Jenna on the other side. “Sorry, I just needed
some quiet time.”

Jenna smiled. “I don’t think there is such a thing as quite
time in the Welsh household.”

“Come on in,” I offered, moving aside to make room for her
to enter.

Jenna stepped into the bathroom, her heels clicking on the
tile floor. She shut the door behind her, leaned against it and closed her
eyes. She was dressed in a red velvet sleeveless dress and black stockings, her
long blonde hair gently falling over her shoulders. Jenna was pretty and always
had an available posse of boys who followed her around. She frequently dated,
but was never serious with any one guy. That probably had something to do with
the fact that she had three big brothers who would beat the crap out of anyone
who tried to take advantage of her.

“You’re right. It
is
quiet. That’s a nice change of
pace,” she sighed, opening her eyes to meet my gaze. Jenna took a few more
steps towards me. Soon we were inches apart. Her gaze never left mine. Her
hazel eyes held promise. Then she wet her lips with her tongue and leaned in to
kiss me.

I was taken aback by the action my lips unmoving, my eyes
wide open, watching her kiss me. It was unbelievable to comprehend any girl
would want to kiss ‘Jake the cripple,' but Jenna was kissing me. I felt the tip
of her tongue dart into my mouth and I moaned. I dropped my crutch, the
aluminum clanging as it hit the floor, and wrapped my arms around her waist.
Closing my eyes, I let go and kissed her back. Her mouth was sweet and supple,
warm and wet.

When we finally pulled apart, we were gasping for air,
Jenna’s hands on my shoulders, her forehead resting on my chin. “I always
wondered what it be like to kiss you, Jake. Damn, that was amazing.” She looked
up at me through her thick black eyelashes and smiled. “Where did you learn to
kiss like that?”

I shrugged, feeling my cheeks grow red. “I don’t know.
You’re the first girl I ever kissed.”

“I think we should try that again,” she said, leaning in for
another kiss.

We kissed with more feeling. Jenna’s hands caressed my neck,
then her fingers tangled in my hair. I tried to pull back, afraid she would
feel my growing arousal. This was all brand new to me. I’d never imagined any
girl would be interested in me and assumed I’d live my life alone, without
physical connection. Yet, here was pretty Jenna gorgeous Jenna making the moves
on me!

When we came up for air, I gently brushed a stray strand of
her hair behind her ear, touched her swollen lips with the pad of my thumb.
“Why me?”

“Why not? You’ve been a permanent fixture in the household
for six years. I’ve had a crush on you forever, Jake.”

“I had no idea,” I stuttered. I had no clue why Jenna was
attracted to me, but I seized the moment and asked, “Will you go out with me,
on a real date?”

“Compared to a fake date?” she asked with confusion.

“No, I mean, you won’t be embarrassed be to seen with me in
public?”

“Why would I be embarrassed?”

I motioned to my bum leg, but didn’t say a thing.

“Jake, I don’t care about your leg. I care about you. I
would be honored to go on a real date with you.”

I smiled, so happy in the moment that I forgot one major
detail. “Oh, shit. Your brothers are going to kill me when they find out.”