Indulgence (387 page)

“Well…,” she drew out the word, “I might have to give you
that one.”

Chey shifted Laney around and resting her against her
shoulder to burp her. “Want to attempt to hold her?”

“Nope,” I said, putting my hand up. I could have blamed my
shoulder, but even I didn’t trust myself with something that fragile.

Chey just laughed and leaned back. She looked so natural
with the baby tucked in her arm—I’d never call it easy, but it suited her.

“I’m really surprised you called last night,” she said.

I sighed. “Me, too. But nine months of being a stubborn
bitch is a bit excessive.”

“Sometimes tough love is the only thing that gets through.”
She half smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You were right, and I didn’t want to
hear it. I don’t want to lose you. Or Peter. And especially not little Laney.
You were the only one who straight up told me how stupid I was being.”

“Well, at least you know I love you, no matter what.” I
pulled my feet onto the couch and leaned my head against the back.

“And vice versa. If you ever need someone to talk to, you
know I’ll be there. Especially if you want to dish about the sexy man you’ve
been keeping in your living room.”

I smacked the cushion next to me but couldn’t keep a
straight face. “I haven’t been keeping him anywhere. He’s a friend and….”

“And?” her voice almost squeaked.

“He gets it. He got me out of there. Made sure I was safe.”
I bit my lip, holding everything back before the emotions swelled up behind the
flood gates.

*****

James was back within half an hour with hamburgers, fries,
and shakes from the dairy bar, so Chey put Laney back in the carrier and we
moved to the kitchen and everyone chowed down in relative silence. I was
thankful since I wasn’t entirely sure of the last time I’d eaten more than a
snack-sized meal.

“Bathroom?” Chey asked, dumping her wrappers into the
trashcan.

“You’re going to leave me alone with the kid?” I asked.

“I’m not going to be that long and you have back up,” she
waved at James.

But, just like any time I had ever been left with a kid, as
soon as Chey stepped out of the room, Laney started to fuss.

“Know anything about babies?” I grimaced.

James squinted at me and grunted. “They like being held.”

“I’ll get right on that.” I pointed to my shoulder.

James shook his head and lifted Laney out of the carrier,
rocking her against his chest. She fussed for a few seconds longer then quieted
and took the pacifier.

“Show off,” I muttered, clearing off the rest of the table.

Chey stopped in the doorway and snickered, “You really did
pass her off to him.”

I dropped back into my seat. “Bullet hole in the arm,
people. What the heck am
I
going to do?”

“Excuses,” Chey teased, picking up her daughter and loading
her back into the carrier. “I better get going. Don’t forget you promised to go
dress shopping with me.” She wagged her finger at me.

“Yeah, yeah, although I’m not sure I
promised
anything.” We hugged, and I fluffed up Laney’s hair. “Call me.”

As soon as Chey and Laney left, James’ arm came around my
waist and pulled me against him. I twisted, wrapping my uninjured arm behind
his neck.

“I told you everything would be fine with you two,” he said,
he brushed his palms against his pants and stared toward the door. “I should
get going too.”

I nodded and groaned. I knew I couldn’t keep him there, but
I wanted him to myself for a little longer. I watched his eyes as his gaze took
in my face. His fingers brushed through my hair.

“How are you?” I asked. Seemed a stupid question to ask now,
after he’d been at my house all day, but I still didn’t know.

He pulled away, shaking his head and pressing his lips
together. “I’m here. And I’m alive, thanks to you, but….” Leaning against the
counter, he let out a long breath. “Are you really sure you want me around,
after everything I did to you?”

So many times, I had tried to imagine what it must have been
like for him. “Yes, James. I already forgave you.”

“How?” His eyebrows wrinkled, pressing together over his
pained eyes. “Every time I get close…,” he trailed off shaking his head.

I dropped my shoulders and wrapped my arm around his waist.
“It wasn’t so hard actually. You told me that my only choice was to give up
control or die, but it applied to you, too. And unless you played your part, we
both died. Once I started seeing the real you, the emotion and regret you tried
to hide, I didn’t have it in me to hate you for something you obviously hated,
too.”

He smiled, but I could tell it was all for show. “You’re a
strong woman, Sugar.”

My lips curled at the nickname. On one hand, I felt like I
should run away from it, but I loved the way my insides melted every time it
came out of his mouth. “Stronger than I was a few months ago. It still hurts,
every day it still hurts, and after the last two days… I just want something
good to hold onto.”

“It’s going to take a lot of work.”

“We’ve already escaped hell, I don’t think ‘work’ is going
to stop us.” I stretched up to kiss his lips, and he drew me up and against his
body. The no sex rule was definitely going to take the most work.

I stood at the front of the chapel, staring down at the flowers
in my hands. I was supposed to be concentrating on the vows and my sister’s big
moment, but my eyes kept traveling to the back door. My heart had at least a
dozen reasons to be lodged in my throat, not the least of which was the man I
hoped would walk through the door at any minute.

Finally, they opened a crack and my heart settled as James
stepped in. He’d had to testify at Miles’ hearing, and since the court refused
to move the date, he was left flying in for the wedding at the last minute.

Even though he’d missed most of the wedding—leaving me a
nervous wreck—the wait was damn worth it to see him groomed in a suit and tie.
The rush I still got every time I saw him made enduring the last four months
worth it. Trying to figure out how to get everything back on track made us both
grumpy at times, so we fought, made up, and argued it out in counseling—along
with defending our decision to do it together at every turn. I didn’t care who
agreed. It was the right decision.

I bit my lip and turned my attention back to my sister.
Peter slipped the ring on her finger, and the officiant pronounced them husband
and wife. They kissed and turned to the crowd, but my eyes fluttered to the
back of the room.

He was gone. Just as quickly and quietly as he’d entered, he
had disappeared.

Everyone in the room rose to their feet as Chey and Peter
returned down the aisle and exited the room. I walked across the stage to meet
the best man, and he took my arm and led me down the aisle.

My stomach fluttered and flipped.
Just a little longer
,
I told myself.

I stepped into the reception room—thankful that Chey had
opted for an informal party—and an arm grabbed me and pulled me against the
wall.

“How’d it go?” I asked, going straight to business before he
could even plant a kiss.

He squinted then straightened with a huff. “They decided to
give him a deal. He’ll be moved to another facility so he won’t be in contact
with anyone from the ring and he’ll be eligible for parole next year. With his
testimony, we have more than enough to make sure Milo is finished. And, if
Miles gives the investigators information to finish taking down the rest
operation, in another year or two he could be on probation. He’ll still have to
register as a sex offender, but the judge thinks he has a good chance.”

I smiled and nodded, but without Alley, it was only half a
victory. “How is he?”

“He’s still taking it hard. He wants to clean up and do
right by Alley.”

I sucked in a breath and pressed my back against the wall. I
wasn’t supposed to want to bawl my eyes out at a wedding over this.

“You look beautiful,” James said, bringing me out of my
head.

“And you look damn sexy,” I said, pulling on his tie and
capturing his lips. I didn’t care if half the room saw us. Being with him made
me happy, gave me the courage to live for myself, and not care what anyone else
thought. “Thanks for flying down here.”

“You know I wouldn’t have missed it.” He propped his chin on
top of my head and held me tight for a moment, then he kissed my cheek. “I
arranged for us to get a cabin tonight. I thought we could use a little…
romantic time.”

“Romantic time?” I felt a smile consume my face and my heart
fluttered in my chest. “Are we finally breaking our no sex clause?”

“Before I go insane, yes.”

I pulled him close; I wanted to tell him how much I loved
him. And how hard it had been over the last few months, but the latter part
didn’t have to be spoken, since I knew he felt the same way. And, either way,
I’d make damn sure that I showed him how I felt by the end of the night.

We made our way to one of the tables near the edge of the
room—since James almost always had to sit with his back to the wall in a
crowded room.

As soon as we sat down, Mom made a bee-line for us. “Care
for kid duty for a while?”

“Sure,” I held out the word and grimaced. The kid still
freaked me out, like I was going to do something wrong, or she’d never stop
crying. But I had to give it to her; she was a cute little handful.

James leaned over, poking Laney in the stomach as he
whispered, “You can go mingle if you want.”

“Uh, no. I’m not much of a go mingle person, even if it is
family and friends.” Sometimes that was worse. Even if they didn’t ask what
happened while I was missing, I got the strange glances. And the awkward, “how
have you been?” I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready for dinner with large groups
of people again.

“Well, I’m starving so I’m grabbing some food before this
buffet runs out,” he kissed my temple and rose to abandon me not only to the
crowd, but to the twenty pounds of chaos in my lap.

I caught his suit jacket as he passed behind me. “Please,
bring me some food.”

“Don’t think I’ll share?”

My skin heated. “I want my own plate,” I growled.

He snorted and bent over the back of my chair to kiss me.

Jack ass
, I thought, but at least he could joke about
the little things.

Laney thumped her tiny fists against the table and made some
kind of burbling noise that sounded like a warning signal before an explosion.
I really hoped that wasn’t the case. Then, she perked up and cooed.

Dear lord, I’m in for it
.

“Whatcha doin’ Laney,” Chey squealed beside me.

“Oh good. Go to Mommy. That seems brilliant.”

“You really need to get over your kid aversion,” Chey
mumbled, scooping up her baby.

I ignored the jab. “Congratulations.” I stood and hugged
Chey first, and then Peter, catching James’ expression as I stepped away.

Brother-in-law,
I reminded silently, but I doubted it
mattered. The one thing James hadn’t gotten over was possessive protectiveness.
He sat the plates down and slid his arm around my waist.
Here we go
.

“James this is Peter. My
sister’s husband
and father
of the spawn.”

Peter chuckled and held out his hand to James. “I’d be
offended, but I’ve known her so long, I stopped listening. I’ve heard a lot
about you.”

James made a sound in his throat that sounded halfway
between a laugh and a worried groan.

“All good,” Chey added.

“Shouldn’t you two be entertaining your guests?” I asked.

But as soon as Chey pushed Laney toward me, I regretted my
words.

“Wh—I did my tour of duty.”

“And she hardly ever gets to see you. We’re at the front
table, just until after dinner and our dance?”

I got the feeling this was going to be the longest dinner
ever—at least the longest dinner I’d actually have the privilege of eating at.
As soon as I sat down and tried to balance a kid with eating, all Laney wanted
to do was wiggle and flap around. Finally, James took pity, reached over, and
plucked her up. He had a patience I couldn’t quite match. She squirmed away in
his lap, too, but he turned it into some kind of game that had her giggling up
a storm. I shook my head and finished the rest of my food, but I couldn’t help
constantly glancing over at him and smiling.

“Don’t,” he whispered, and I frowned back. “Don’t keep
watching me like that and thinking that I’m good with her.”

“You are good with her, and it’s adorable. But I also get
that it doesn’t mean that you want your own, and I’m fine with that.”

He glared back. “You don’t think that one day you’re going
to regret not being a mother, or resent it?”

“I’m good.” I shook my head, “Cute as she is… no. There’s
nothing rational about kids, they’re just… utter chaos. I’ve had enough of that
for one lifetime.”

James’ eyes went dull, and I wished I could pull back the
last part of the sentence, but a hand landed on my shoulder.

“You might think differently when it’s your kid,” Mom said,
rubbing the back of my head before she reached over James’ shoulder for Laney.

I groaned and tossed the napkin from my lap onto the table.
“You weren’t supposed to hear all of that.”

“And I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose,” She took the seat
next to me, but as soon as Laney saw her she turned into a fusspot until we
passed her around the table. Mom laid her against her shoulder and patted her
back. “Hey, princess….”

I felt something brush the inside of my wrist. “Rose.”

My chest stuttered when I tried to inhale, but when I
finally managed a deep breath, the sounds of the room bombarded my senses.