Indulgence (397 page)

I slipped a finger inside her and my tongue found her clit,
laving it until she squirmed under the pressure. “Oh, please don’t stop, Jake.”
I wasn’t going to stop and continued to work her into a frenzy. This time, she
didn’t suppress her desire and moaned with delight as the orgasm overcame her.

I buttoned up her shorts and took her in my arms.

“What are you thinking, Jake?”

“I can’t believe how happy I feel. It seems all too good to
be true. Sort of like I’m having this really pleasant dream and at any moment
I’ll wake up and find I’m living a nightmare.”

“There’s no reason for nightmares anymore. I see a bright
future ahead of you.”

That was exactly what I needed to hear. Jenna may have only
been eighteen–years old, but she was wise beyond her years. The more I began to
love Jenna, the more I began to worry what would happen when college started up
again. Jenna had been accepted to Florida State. She wanted to escape the cold
winters; I could hardly blame her. She deserved to be free to experience that
without being tied down to me. I wondered how long our relationship would
survive if we attempted the long distance thing. Today, I decided to leave my
worries behind and counted my blessings, so grateful to have Jenna in my life.

A week later, we were packing up the cabin and getting ready
for our return home. The past week had been one of the best weeks of my life. I
was sad to go, but excited for the rest of the summer. Sam was going to talk to
her parents about moving in with Rick and me. I’d be able to see Jenna
everyday. I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my vacation.

Jenna, Sam, and I sat at the kitchen table, looking at paint
swatches. Sam suggested we ‘freshen up’ the house and make it feel more like my
home. I had to agree, but didn’t want to spend too much money. Sam said the
best and most inexpensive way to make a change was to paint the walls. If all
four of us chipped in manpower, it wouldn’t take long at all. Jenna and Sam
were debating the benefits of picking a neutral color versus something more
‘manly’ whatever that meant. Meanwhile, I was online looking for a new bed. Now
that Jenna and are were spending more time there, I needed to upgrade the
twin-size to something bigger.

“Which do you like better, Jake Silver Sage or Ozone?” Sam
asked, pushing the paint sample towards me.

“Ozone.”

“I like the Silver Sage.”

“Then you paint your room in Silver Sage and I’ll paint mine
in Ozone. How many gallons do you think we’ll need?”

“I have to measure the rooms to figure that out. We should
also paint the ceilings. They’re looking a little drab.”

“Fine. Just make a list and we’ll go to Home Depot and buy
the supplies.”

Jenna was peeking over my shoulder at the computer screen.
“Oh, I like that one,” she said, pointing to the queen-size bed with a black
ironwork headboard.

Sam peered over my other shoulder. “That could be very fun,”
she teased.

Jenna and Sam started laughing at the innuendo. I rolled my
eyes. Who said men were raunchier than women when it came to sex? I decided to
play along. “I’ll be sure to order two pairs of handcuffs. Do you prefer pink
or black?”

As the words came out of my mouth, Rick walked in through
the back door, his tank top permeated with sweat and a towel around his neck.
He placed his gym bag on the floor. “Handcuffs?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Jenna remarked. The
three of us broke out in a fit of giggles.

Rick walked up behind me and looked at the computer screen.
“You’re looking at furniture.”

“What did you think we were looking at?”

“Porn.”

‘We aren’t as horny as you,” Sam told Rick.

“You never complain when we’re in bed.”

“Okay! That’s enough. We’re going shopping to pick out
paint,” I interrupted before the conversation got graphic.

Sam kissed Rick on the lips. “You reek. Go get a shower.
We’re painting when Jake and I get back from the store.”

Jenna steered the shopping cart, Sam directed us up and down
the aisles, and I loaded the cart. Half an hour later, we were heading back
home. We started in Granddad’s bedroom. I decided to give the room to Rick and
Sam. We moved all the furniture into the center of the room, prepped the walls,
and began painting. I was surprised it only took a couple hours. We left the
windows open overnight to air out the fumes. Rick and Sam would officially move
in the next day.

Next we tackled my room. Rick and I hauled the twin beds to
the garage. Jenna was going to post them on Craigslist for sale, which would
help offset the cost of a new bed. Once the room was painted, I said goodbye to
Rick and Sam. Jenna went back to her place to shower and change. We were going
to the furniture store to buy the bed and then I was taking her to dinner.

Those first few weeks of June were amazing. My house became
a commune. We were happy and worked together as a team. I had a part-time job
at Barnes and Noble and enjoyed my work there. Jenna worked at Express. Since
we were both in the mall, we got to spend a lot of time together. It was also
nice to have her along when I hung out with Rick and Sam. I didn’t feel like
the third wheel since we could now do things together as couples. It seemed too
good to be true, and it was. Reality soon came crashing down on us.

The four of us sat around the kitchen table, eating dinner.

“Do you think you can help me go shopping to pick out a
suit?” Rick asked Sam.

“What do you need a suit for?”

Here it comes
, I thought to myself. I had a strong
urge to duck and cover. Rick glanced at me and then turned back to Sam. “I’ve
been accepted to compete in the NBA draft next week.”

Sam gave him an incredulous glance. “Are you serious?”

“This is the last thing I would ever joke about, Sam.”

Sam placed her napkin on the table and stood up from the
table. “Excuse me.”

She walked off in a huff and Rick said to me, “What did I do
wrong?”

“You never told her you’d
applied
for the draft, let
alone been accepted. How did you think she was going to react?”

“I’ll go talk to her,” Jenna offered.

“No, I got it,” Rick insisted.

Once he left the room, Jenna and I were alone. “You’ve known
all along and you didn’t say anything to Sam?” Jenna asked.

“It wasn’t my place to say anything. Rick is her boyfriend.
I told him he should come clean.”

We heard the sound of muffled voices shouting at each other
upstairs and then came a loud crash that sounded like glass shattering.

“Guess she’s not going to help him pick out a suit,” Jenna
muttered.

We caught a glance of Rick walking through the hallway, past
the kitchen, toward the front door. It slammed as he left the house. “You go
talk to Jenna. I’ll get Rick,” I sighed, leaving my half-eaten meal at the
table.

Rick was pacing the porch with quick, furious strides.

“Hey, man. Slow down. I don’t have the money to replace the
floorboards right now.”

Rick stopped and leaned on the railing. “I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t take it so well, did she?” I asked sitting down in
the chair opposite Rick.

“She’s such a bitch sometimes. Sam knows how important this
is to me and yet she still can’t support me. I’m not a brainiac like she is. My
gift is to play ball. I’m going to Brooklyn next week, and if I’m selected you
can be damn sure I’ll wear that team hat with pride.”

“I think she’s afraid of what will happen when you leave.
You’ll be on the road, she’ll be at Villanova. There will be temptation for
you, if Sam is not around. How will you handle that?”

“Who’s side are you on, Jake?”

“I’m on both sides. I
understand
both sides.
Obviously, you two have a problem communicating your feelings on this topic.”

“That’s a cop-out, Jake.”

“No spending thousands of dollars on therapy gives me
clarity. Don’t bitch, you’re getting my advice for free.”

“I can’t do this right now,” Rick said in exasperation,
pushing his fingers through his hair. He turned, walked down the front steps,
and headed for his house.

“Hey, just so you know, I think you’ll get picked,” I called
out to him as he neared his front door. Rick turned around, gave a faint smile,
and waved his hand in thanks.

I went back inside the house and reheated my dinner. I ate
alone and when I was finished, there was still no sign of Jenna and Sam. An
hour later, while flipping through the TV channels, Jenna appeared.

“How is Sam?” I asked.

“Not so good. She’s really pissed off at Rick.”

“Want me to warm up your dinner?”

“No, thanks. I think I’ll head home and talk to Rick. Did
you have any luck with him?”

“I tried to make him understand Sam’s side. I don’t think
he’s wrong to be upset though. Rick has worked his ass off for this
opportunity. These two have to work it out. If they can’t, maybe they weren’t
meant to be together.”

Jenna gave me a quick, sweet kiss on the lips. “I’ll text
you later.”

I turned off the TV and made my way upstairs. Stopping
outside Sam’s bedroom door, I lifted my hand to knock, but halted when I heard
her crying. It broke my heart, but I didn’t know what to do. I stood there
deliberating. Finally, I decided to knock.

“Come in,” Sam said.

I opened the door to find her grabbing a tissue from the box
on the bedside table. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. “I just wanted to
see if there was anything I could do to help you,” I said, approaching the bed.

“Hold me,” she snuffled, her sad eyes full of tears.

I could do that. I walked over to the bed and leaned my
crutch against the wall. Sitting down on the bed with my back against the
headboard, I took Sam into my arms. She laid her head against my chest and I
rested my chin on the top of her head. “I’m so sorry,” I apologized.

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong,” Sam said, her
voice subdued.

“I just want you to be happy. You’re always fighting with
Rick. Is it worth all the aggravation and heartache?”

Sam never answered my question. She just remained in my arms
until her breathing slowed, her nerves calmed, and she fell asleep.

The entire Welsh family joined Rick in Brooklyn at the
Barclays Center for the NBA draft. Sam and I stayed home to watch in on ESPN.
Sam hadn’t spoken to Rick all week. I urged them both to stop being so
pigheaded, but it was no use: I’d never met two more stubborn people in my
life. Honestly, I was surprised Sam agreed to watch the draft with me.

The announcer read the draft pick for the Miami Heat. My
heart stopped when I heard Rick’s name. The camera cut to the crowd to show
Rick standing from his seat, a wide, charming grin on his face, his family
cheering him on. “Miami that’s fantastic,” I said to myself.

“Everything he’s ever wished for is coming true,” Sam
whispered, leaning her head against my shoulder. “He won’t be far from Jenna.
It’s good he’ll have some family nearby.”

Her sadness was palpable and I struggled to say something
positive. “You could go with him, transfer to a school in Florida.”

Sam looked up at me with desolate eyes. “I won’t follow him.
It’s his dream, not mine.”

“What if Rick wants to share his dream with you?”

“I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”

The Welshes held a picnic to celebrate Rick’s draft pick to
Miami. I sat on the back porch with Jenna, watching Rick and Sam have another
blowout fight at the back of the property. I couldn’t hear what they were
saying, but I could tell by their body language it wasn’t good. I wondered if
Sam was breaking up with Rick.

“What do you think?” Jenna asked. I wasn’t paying attention.
“Jake, are you listening to me?”

I turned to face her. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Jenna sighed. “You love her, don’t you?”

“Who?”

“Sam.”

“Of course I do. She’s one of my best friends.”

“It’s more than that, Jake.”

I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. “I’m with you,
Jenna.”

“I wish I could have the same kind of relationship with you
that you have with Sam,” she lamented.

“How so?”

“Sam is the only person who can truly understand you and
talk sense into you when you need it. You don’t even have that kind of
relationship with Rick.”

I squirmed in my seat. I tried to change the subject. “I
really care about you, Jenna.”

“I care about you, too. But our relationship…” She trailed
off, not sure how to finish the sentence.

“It’s a physical relationship,” Jake said, finishing the
sentence for her.

“Yes, we are friends however, most of our relationship is
based on sex. I mean, it is good sex, but it’s not enough to build a lasting
relationship on, is it? I’ll be leaving for Miami soon and you’ll be here with
Sam.”

“We could try a long distance relationship. You’ll be back
to visit your parents. I can see you then.”

“Is that what you really want, Jake?”

“I want you to be happy and have new experiences and not
feel tied down to me,” I finally admitted aloud.

“I want the same thing for you.”

I took her hand in mine. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m just a text away.”

I smiled. “You know what I mean. We had a wonderful time
together.”

“Yes, but we both deserve more. We deserve to be in love.”
She stood from the chair to go back inside the house.

I also stood up and took her in my arms. “A part of me will
always love you, Jenna,” I whispered in her ear.

“Thanks, Jake. That means a lot to me.”

I walked back home and sat in the darkened living room. I’d
just broken up with my girlfriend. I felt equal parts of sadness and joy. There
could be no regrets. What Jenna and I had shared was wonderful. She gave me the
confidence to become a man. Made me realize I was more than ‘Jake the cripple.’
I was someone who deserved to be loved. The thought made me smile.