Holding On (5 page)

“
Stay here, I forgot my
bag.”  I am glad to have Sadey out of the hurricane that is
Peril and trust her to stay put until I get back so we can go.
 Now if I can just ensure Ace the crazy, doesn’t get her alone
then I’m good!  That man can sniff vulnerability from miles
away and if he sniffs near Sadey again tonight I’m going to bald
his other head!

Walking up to the compound doors
again, I stumble in my usual clumsy manner.  There’s the man
of the hour.  Ace catches sight of me and starts to roll his
eyes and turn back around.  Oh hell no buddy, this is
happening!  

“
Ace whatever your last
name is, get your ass back in here.”

He turns back to me and stops.
 Waiting for me to meet up with him, he’s smirking down at me
and that bald head is looking more appealing to me to use it as a
breaking ball on the pool table.  “What can I help you with
there, darlin?  You look tense.”  He’s actually eyeing me
up and down.  Gross.

“
Stay away from Sadey, you
little son of a bitch.  I’m not kidding.  She doesn’t
need you lurking around in circles like a hungry shark.”  As
soon as I see the flicker in those big brown eyes of his I know his
response is going to be perverse.

“
Well, I’m not shark but
I’m willing to test out her tu...”  All of a sudden he’s
yanked up by his cut from behind.  

Ace is a tall man, would bet he’s
probably at least 6 foot but Shame is taller, broader, and is
looking down at Ace in a very menacing way right now.  I’m
about to enjoy the show!

“
Don’t you dare finish
that fucking sentence if it is relating to who I think it may be
relating to.  Now, apologize to Mace before I break your
fucking nose and make up lick your blood from my boots, you little
punk.”  Shame still has him by the back of the cut and Ace’s
face is turning red from lack of oxygen since Shame has his tee in
his hand with it.  

“
Sorry Mace, I was just
playing and didn’t mean anything by it.”  Ace doesn’t sound
sincere, he sounds like a petulant child who got his hand caught in
the cookie jar but I don’t give a rat spit if he’s sorry or not,
I’m just glad to see him hanging from his fruity looms.  Oh I
want some special powers right now, because I would deplete my
energy to tighten Shame’s grip on him.

Shame drops him and Ace
fixes his cut and heads back into the Club mumbling something about
women in general.  I start to walk through that same door,
following Ace inside but I’m stopped because I hit a wall, a wall
of delicious yumminess.  He’s just lit a cigarette in one hand
and he is holding his beer in the other.  I step back, looking
at him like I missed lunch and silently wishing I was that bottle
of beer or even the cigarette bud, I’m not choosy.  Who thinks
like this?  I flush openly with inner
embarrassment.

“
Running from something,
Mace?”  He grins.

“
No, Shame.  I’ve got
Sadey in the car, and since Hem has decided she needed a reality
check tonight she’s in pieces waiting for me to take her home.
 This is the one party she comes to and Hem has to be asshole
Hem and screw it up for her.  I will find him later so if you
want to give him a warning, feel free.  Now let's add on to
that the fact that Ace has his sights set on my girl, I don’t like
it.  He’s a creep and another male whore around here, he’s
probably as infested with STD’s as Cherry.”

Oh yeah, I said it.  I know
Cherry isn’t as bad as Kegs, and yes I kind of feel bad throwing
her under the bus here, but I wanted him to know I heard of his
most recent sexcapade tonight.  He doesn’t respond, probably
because he doesn’t care to justify himself to the 22 year old brat
in front of him that I’m being.

I attempt to move him to the side,
grabbing at his ribs because he’s so much taller than my 5’3 frame
but I want to get through the door.  Being that he’s got about
150 pounds on me, he doesn’t even flinch.  Dammit.

“
Baby, she doesn’t belong
here.  Hem has been telling you and her both this same shit
for years.  She’s not built to withstand our lifestyle choices
and I’m sorry for her but it is what it is.”  He says still
grinning down at me.  

I really do hate that sentence.
 ‘It is what it is’ what the hell does that mean,
exactly?

He’s about to continue with that
smirk.  “Now, Cherry on the other hand…” but oh hell no, I’m
cutting off his line of thought before he voices it out
loud.

“
Oh, and
by lifestyle choices you mean landing your cock in any willing
woman that enters the room.  Or unwilling, I should clarify
that.  It’s disgusting, Shame.  It is
revolting
.  What’s
worse is the woman you are landing in are even more disgusting then
you doing it.  For hells sake, have some pride or dignity in
yourself and the Club.”  I can hear the anger in my own voice,
but he doesn’t acknowledge it. I just can’t not be angry at the
thought of Shame and Cherry.

“
Let me
pass.”
“No.”

“
No?”

“
You heard me, Princess.”
 He smirks and the sparkle in the piercing on his bottom lip
shines as though taunting me into wanting to know what it feels
like to flick my tongue over it before taking it into my mouth and
sucking on it.

Okay Mace,
focus
.

“
First, don’t call me
that.  That’s an unwanted and unfunny joke.  Hem was
drunk and seriously just making shit up to hurt Greyson and piss me
hell off!  Second, please move.  I need to get Sadey home
and cleaned up.  Then tomorrow I’m going to deal with Hem and
his motives to hurt my best friend!  Third, I wouldn’t want to
keep you from Cherry.  Poor girl is probably tied up in your
room right now, on your bed.”   

The visual is gutting me but I’m
making a point here. “Last, Greyson will be worried when I don’t
call him soon.  He doesn’t deserve to wait or worry because
the animals at the zoo are all acting out.”  Thank goodness my
backbone appears unmoved by his gorgeous presence.

Blank stare.  That’s all I get?
 I’ve just insulted the man because I need him to move and I’m
not able to do this physically.  But. Here. Comes. His. Anger.
 Shit!

He pulls his arms away from the door
and comes walking towards me, briskly!  I’m feverishly backing
up to avoid contact when in a quick swoop, Shame has tossed his
cigarette to the ground then grabbed me behind the back and my
entire body is now pressed up flush up with his.  God, I can
smell him.  Cigarettes, beer, and Shame.  It’s a Mace
cocktail.  Order for one, please!  Delicious.

“
You can smell me, Mace?
 What in the hell are you babbling about, woman?”  He’s
confused as he should be and I am mortified!  I said that out
loud?  Dear God, how do I backpedal?  

I try for casual. “Yes, you smell like
a woman you must have just devoured, cherries maybe?”  Strike
one.

“
Liar.  Explain
better Princess, and this time with a little less bullshit. Can’t
imagine you calling another woman’s smell, how did you say that? Oh
yes, ‘Delicious’.  Keep going.”

Dammit!

“
You smell like the Club,
Shame.  Cigarettes and beer.  It reminds me of Hem when I
was a kid and he would visit.  Good memories always smell
delicious.”  Strike two.

Double Dammit!  

“
Liar.  You never
were good at storytelling, Sweetheart.  I will just accept the
compliment and not make you uncomfortable anymore although you
trembling in my arms does something for me.  I do have some
things I want to say to you regarding your little tirade and
counting episode though.”  Shit, here it comes.
 

“
Well okay, big guy.
 Shoot.”  I’m still pressed up against him and God it
feels good but I’m trying to remain unaffected.

“
Okay... first, I can call
you what I want. I’ve been calling you what I want since you were
just a kid.  It’s my right, as your brother’s best friend and
your lifelong friend, buddy, or whatever. Second yes, please take
Sade home.  She’s looks rough, women crying don’t have any
reason to be here sniveling, especially during a biker party.
 I’m sure after a few Oreos or whatever food remedy you chicks
select for heartbreak, then throw on some name calling regarding
the intended target, she will survive.”  He pauses, putting
his face in my ear and I feel his warm breath on my neck as he
continues.

“
Third, and you listen in
close to this one Princess, because I don’t want you to miss any of
it.”

Drama queen and masochist that I am, I
actually lean my body in closer to hear what he has to say.
 I’m so caught up in his face, body, and hands that I don’t
even see the trap he’s setting for me.  Between those
beautiful white teeth and that lip ring, all I can do is imagine
licking both.

“
A man has needs, Mace.
 We are made to fuck and fuck hard.  That being said, if
I want to fuck Cherry until the woman can’t walk, I will.  If
I want to make Cherry my old lady and grab a piece of that daily, I
will.  Until you decide you want to take your turn on my cock,
shut your mouth in regards to who I expel my needs into, you
getting this entirely babe? Or you want me to continue explaining
something that you already know is bound to happen?  You and I
are going to happen, that’s all I’m sayin’.  You say the word,
I will make your body feel things that your pretty boy at home has
never even come close to making you feel.”

I’m still leaning in because my mind
is wrapped around his words in careful study.  The visual of
Shame and I having one night of hot, passionate sex appeals to me
on a level I know it shouldn’t.  Even though I am sure he
would be as good as gone the next day and it would forever alter
our relationship, I would almost ante the hell up for it, all in.
 

Now, he continues,
“
Greyson
doesn’t
know what to do with you, but I do.  I know exactly how I
would do it, Mace.  Given the chance I would make you burn for
me, baby.”  He drops his hands from my body and takes a step
back.  

“
He’s a stuffed shirt,
woman.  Jesus, do you really see forever with that?  Nine
to Five, shirt ironing, barefoot and pregnant, minivan driving,
golf tee wearing, self-professed genius?  I love you
Sweetheart, but I hate that life for you.  You
deserve….”

He pauses while looking at me back and
forth from my eyes to my mouth.  He starts to talk and I part
my lips so he pauses again.  He just sucked in a ragged breath
that I feel all the way down to my toes.

“
Finish it.  Finish
what you have to say.  I want to hear you tell me what I
deserve because I thought that was my decision.  You have
never thought to say anything like that to me until now, this day.
 Where is this coming from?   Is this a bet with one
of the brothers?”

I’m waiting with baited breath for
whatever he says next.  All he said about Greyson is hard to
hear, but true.  He just left out what an ass Grey can be at
times.  How he detests the club, my family, and what they mean
to me.  He’s good to me though, very loving and supportive.
 I should be defending him but standing here in such close
proximity with Shame, I can only wait for his next words.
 Only it is not words he is going to use to explain to me what
he’s trying to say.

“
Mace, I… dammit
woman...shit.”  He pauses then all of a sudden.  “Jesus,
okay. Fuck it!”  

Then I feel it. I feel the
bottom drop out from under my feet and I’m floating in midair in
the most blindingly sightseeing moment I’ve ever had. Yes, I
understand the mix of words “blinding” and “sightseeing” but I have
no other way to describe this feeling.  His mouth is on mine
actually no, his mouth is
devouring
mine.  I grab his cut and pull him even
closer to me if that’s possible.  I taste, feel, see, and hear
nothing but Shame.  He doesn’t even have to pry my mouth open
as he invades every part of it.  I’m not even attempting to
dismantle him off of me, not that I could right now because all of
my body wants to be his.  On him, with him,
underneath
him.  I
have just finished taking my masochistic mental snapshot before he
pushes me away. Harshly.

“
God
Dammit, Mace!  I have to stop. You should be
making
me stop.
 Fuck!”  Wait, he’s mad.  At me?  What the
hell?  

“
Say something.”  He
commands, but I can’t.  My body is frozen, still holding on to
his cut as if I would let it go causing the moment to never have
happened; I’m grasping it so tight my knuckles are white.  I
don’t know what to say or think.

I’ve waited so long for
this moment and I have played and replayed it in my head and that
is the only comparison that I have, and I was wrong.
 
Nothing
compares to how I feel right now staring into those silver
blue eyes.  I’m tingling in places I know I should feel guilty
about. I’m also so overwhelmed.  But lastly, I’m relieved.
 Because it is everything I ever thought it to be, only more.
 

“
Greyson, oh God Shame,
Greyson.  I have to call him; he will be worried if he hasn’t
heard from me by now.”