Holding On (28 page)

Walking down the hall I hit Ace’s
room.  Knocking softly I hear him mutter for me to enter.
 When I walk in I have to momentarily pause. Holy crap his
room is clean.  What man in this unit has his shit together
like this?  I am so friggin impressed.

“
Why are you smirking?”
 He’s lying on his bed, remote in hand staring at me in
wonder.  

“
Well Ace, I just like
what you’ve done with the place.  It is so... soo.”

“
Clean woman, it’s clean.
 I don’t like my shit scattered like some of these gorillas.
It weirds me out how some live like that, okay?  Don’t knock
me for it, and don’t be sharing my OCD cleaning habits.  I may
live by a biker code, but I don’t have to live like some of these
fools.  Sit now please, how are you?  Mace, it is really
good to finally see you.  Gunner text me and told me you were
on your way up to say hi, I’m really glad you’re here.”

“
Yes, I wanted to check on
you.  Last time I saw you, well do you remember seeing me that
night that you were uhh, ummm.. you know.”

“
I was
getting my ass beat, Mace.  Rightly so I might add.  I
fucked up and deserved Hem’s fury.  Just did not think that
shit through that it wouldn’t be just Hem’s fury alone that I would
get, hell as we were walking out he told two of the other
boys
and
Shame to follow.  That’s when I sobered up.  Fuck, I
was scared.”  He’s reliving it inside but he still doesn’t
look regretful.

“
I’m sorry that happened
to you, Ace.  You didn’t deserve that.  Just because you
love....”

“
No no no, don’t say it.
That will never happen again and I will never, ever utter another
word about that to anyone.  I should be thanking you though.
 When I woke up a few days later Gunner had come up here to
change the dressings on my wounds and he told me you were the one
who pounced on Hem and made him stop.  If you hadn’t have done
that Mace, I don’t … well I don’t know...”  His eyes are
filling with tears now so I want to deter his thought.

“
You look really good.
 Look like you are healing now so that’s good, right?”
 

“
Yeah, but when I woke up
the boys were already gone on the ride so now it’s a waiting game,
I mean he’s your brother, do you think he’s done with me?  I
can’t be kicked out Mace, I don’t know where else to go and another
Club…. well that’s not even an option for me.  This is my home
and I pissed on it, on the brothers. Maybe Hem will take pity on me
and just give me another beating, do you think he would do that if
I asked for it?”  Now he looks regretful.  A wonderful
man, he isn’t pissed at the brothers for his beating, he’s pissed
at himself for what he did to deserve it.  

I feel so bad for him.
 He’s had two weeks of mental punishment while he’s trying to
recover and survive the physical one.  “I think you are fine,
it will take time for Hem to trust you again, but deep down Ace we
both know Hem has heart of gold and big soft spot for his boys,
even when they screw up.  Maybe though going forward you don’t
want to say anything to him about how he handles his women, even if
it isn’t Sadey, huh? My brother he’s a good man, he would never
hurt any woman.  You know this already though, don’t you? No,
you are not going to ask for a beating, you are just now really
recovering from the last one.”

“
Yes.  I know she’s
safe with him.  That wasn’t my point.  I wanted her and
it wouldn’t have mattered if he treated her like the princess she
is, Mace.  I still would have ran my mouth if only because I
was hurt.  I was hurt, I missed her, and I already told you
that.  It was just so overwhelming to see them together and
that night, he had told her he was going to tape her mouth shut if
she kept yapping at him and so I just fucking lost it. I found an
excuse to do that because I was looking for one. When they started
on me out there it was a relief. Do you get that?”

“
Yes, I know. Your heart
will recover eventually though.  You will get past this want
for her, I promise.  Ya know, oddly enough and you won’t even
believe me but I think Cherry has taken a shine to you.”  He
puts his hand up just like Hem does to me when he needs me to just
stop talking.

“
Oh God,
stop.  No way, she’s been with every one of the brothers!
 I don’t
need
a woman, if I decided to even entertain the idea
of one of these Club leach girls it would definitely be
Kegs.”

Shit!  I’ve basically already
promised her to Honor and hell, she doesn’t even know
this!

“
Ummm no.  I’m going
to confess something, and don’t tell on me but I’m working
something for April.  I like her.” He starts to smile wide.
‘’”Yes you heard right.  She did me a favor couple weeks ago,
good person and well I kind of promised Honor that if he comes back
from this ride I was going to set him up with April.”  He’s
keeps his smile but now he’s trying not to break into a laugh.
“What?”

“
Who the fuck is April?”
 He’s laughing hard now.  He’s holding his belly and
wincing same time while he’s sniggering at me.  The man has no
idea Kegs real given name was April.

I throw my chair pillow at
him, “Shut up Ace.  It’s Kegs.  Kegs
is
April.  You be nice to her
because if you think Hem has a temper, well you haven’t seen ‘Mace
unplugged’.”  Now he’s really laughing.

“
Okay, Mama Bear.”
 He is smiling ear to ear and he doesn’t realize how he just
hit the nail right on the head.

“
Ace, I gotta run.
 It’s been a shit week and I’m tired.  You need anything
you holla okay?”  He’s smiling at my use of words because it
is so unlike me to use slang.

“
Bye the way the hair, I
see you haven’t shaved.  Probably because of your condition
but Ace, I gotta say... you look hot with hair.  Really, you
do.  You should keep it.”  Now he throws that pillow at
me while I’m standing at the door but it gets nowhere near me in
his weakened state.  Funny.

“
I was wrong, maybe I
won’t have to ask for another ass beating. You just called me hot
and if Shame were to hear that he would kill me! Now get out of
here woman, I’ve got shows to watch.”  I head for the door but
hear him, “Mace?”

“
Yep?”

“
I know he’s your brother,
but you make sure she’s happy for me, okay?  Even if it’s not
with me, she’s a sweet girl with a gigantic heart.  When it
comes down to it, I just think she deserves every happiness that
someone can offer her.”  Another romantic biker.  Damn,
could Shame have not cottoned on to any of them?  

Shit.
“You bet I will, she’s my girl.
Take care and I will see you soon!”  I wink and blow him a
kiss, just to see his face turn red.  Damn, how is it I fall
for the most moody, pouty, possessive, egotistical fool of them all
when this place is crawling with hot bikers with big hearts?
 Gah!

My phone is blinking, I
have another message.  Great, hope its Sadey telling me she
has dinner for me cause after this day I’m stressed and hungry and
I refuse to eat another sleeve of Oreos!  

Oh wait nope, not Sadey, no such luck.
 

*SHAME:  If you
aren’t at the club when I get back I will go find you, do not doubt
that.  Your mouth is starting to piss me off.

Unbelievable.  Oreos
are definitely off the menu now.  On the way home, I’m
stopping for wine. I’m going to text Sadey and tell her I’m
stopping for wine and will bring something in the form of carbs
home for dinner.

*ME:  Hey.  I’m stopping for
a tall, sexy, something to drink on the way home.   If
you’re lucky I will also bring you home something then we can
share, yum! ;)  XXOO M.

I’m cracking up outside the clubhouse
and out loud all the way to my car.  Phone dings again, she’s
fast!

*SHAME:  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
PLAYING AT?  SERIOUSLY?  IF YOU WANT TO GO ACT LIKE A
WHORE THEN DO IT, BUT DO NOT TEXT ME ABOUT IT.  WE
CLEAR?

Ummm, what the hell is
wrong with him?  Gees.  I flip through the phone to see
that I accidently sent Shame that message and in re-reading it, oh
my God!  That’s just funny!  Whoops.  I swear that
was not meant to happen, not saying I’m glad it didn’t because I am
still cracking up.  Guess I won’t be seeing him tomorrow after
all.  Not that I had intentions of it anyway, but if there was
any question about it, there is no more!

Trying this again, slower this
time.

*ME:  Sadey, stopping for wine
and dinner on way home.  Will be there in 30.  Xxoo
M.

There.  That’s what I meant to
happen.  Still laughing, I pull into the store and grab the
wine, pizza, and junk food then head home to Sadey.  Finally,
I hear back from her.

*SADEY:  Trying on dresses for
tomorrow night, I’m stoked!

Going out tomorrow night
with Peyton and Sadey both, I’m drinking early, fast and a L-O-T
because they apparently are both “stoked”.  Oye!

Chapter
Thirteen
:

“
I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was
the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot
of difference.”   

--Ernest Hemingway

Shell Horns is packed.
 I’m glad for that.  I aim to blend in, but it has to be
impossible.  All I have been today is become Sadey Lyons’ real
life dress up doll.  She has mothered me to death. She has put
in me in makeup, a dress, and curled my hair.  She actually
looked offended when I explained to her why I was not going to let
her shave me.  This woman was born to have a little sister.
 When she grows up and has a daughter of her own, I’m going to
have to impede and butt in often.  The woman is seriously
girly girl crazed.  I throw up a silent prayer, please give
Sadey Lyons little boys to love.

Finally we are here and we
have a table, well I should say we have half of a table.  This
damn place is so busy already that the patrons share space as if
privacy never existed.  Unfortunately for me I had forgotten
that Peyton was small, adorable, sweet, and
oblivious
.  I’ve already gone
into Mama Bear mode three times tonight because some of these men
mistake her size and assume they can touch her however they feel is
appropriate.  Hell no.  

“
I think I’ve gone and
died to club heaven.”  Says the older pervert we are sharing
this table with as he looks at Sadey, then at me, then his eyes
penetrate and I mean that in the sickest sense available for the
word, he penetrates to Peyton.  Bastard licks his lips at her!
Now when I say old, I only mean that he’s probably only about 40,
but she’s only 19 for cripes sake! Granted yes, she’s in a bar with
a fake ID but even if she were 21, C’MON!

“
Does that line get you a
lot of girls?  Cause it sounds like something my grandpa would
say, he’s in a nursing home right now but I am pretty sure Gramma
and Grandpa can still rock the boat if you know what I mean.”
 Peyton nudges his arm while lifting her eyebrows up and down
rapidly for effect.  

Sadey and I look to each
other and suppress a giggle as the man stands up, throws a twenty
dollar bill on the table and mumbles something about how women talk
too much.  After he leaves Peyton calmly looks at us while
sucking the olive from her martini in a sexy way and says, “And
that my friends, is how you get yourself a table at Shell Horns.”
 Oh My God.  She did not just say that.  

We all bust up laughing and the
waitress delivers our second round. Then as if it were her own, she
hands the waitress the twenty he had left on table, “Here ya go
ma’am. This is for you, from one sista to another.  That
appalling jackass that was here before us got up and left without
paying his tab, I’m sorry for that so you take this and don’t let
him ruin your night, okay?”  Holy Hell.  If Peyton
seriously keeps this shit up I’m going to need a change of pants.
 

“
Peyton, how are you still
single?  Seriously little mama, you’re like the whole package.
 You’re cute, smart, funny as hell and fearless.  I find
it hard to believe that no man has snatched you up and has taken
you back to his cavern.  Also, when you find your caveman
honey, I need to meet him because I’m guessing you could try the
patience of a Saint, am I right?”  Sadey is clearly impressed
with our girl.  I’m glad, I like Peyton too.  She brings
a new shade to Sadey and I’s tight circle. The way my life has been
going, I could certainly use another friend like her.

Peyton looks a bit taken
back at Sadey’s comment.  She looks sad almost.  I
haven’t seen this emotion from her since we met and it’s upsetting.
 

“
Peyton honey, are you
okay?”  I grab her hand as she sits beside me, head angled
down lost in thought as she’s watching the table. Sadey comes
around the other side of her and sits next to her so now we are
three girls on one side of a booth, among all the partying and
chaos.

“
I never had that, growing
up.” She says so quiet I hardly hear her.

“
Never had what? You lost
me, sweetie. Tell me.” I talk softly so I don’t scare her with my
direct intent.

“
My parents never really
cared for me much.  Dad was so busy working and trying to make
money to keep mom happy and mom was so busy out with other men
while spending daddy's money.  Dad resented me because he said
I would just take after mom, because I looked so much like her.
 I do look like her, but I didn’t ever understand how a person
could withhold love just for resembling someone they were supposed
to.  She was my mom.”