Holding On (14 page)

“
Alright, so yes, Sadey
and I slept together.  Yes, she is a virgin no more; you can
mark that off your ‘mom’ list.  You have no reason any longer
to protect her virtues. I appreciate what you have done so far, but
now, well, moot point.”

I visibly relax and nod. He speaks
truth. He took my words well, doesn’t even appear mad.
Good.

“
And as
if you need to understand why, yes I am smiling.”  He
continues.  “I may seem old to you, little sister, but I’m
only 32 I am most certainly not dead.  So, yeah, let me smile
without judgment.  You know how I feel about her, even if
words were never spoken, it is how I have always felt about Sade.
 I would cut any man that would have led her into temptation
and have taken what was
mine
.  Now, no one has to wait
around for poor little Hem to get his shit together.”
 

Wow, my brother is such a romantic,
and the way he says her name gives me goose bumps of happiness for
him.  Right up of course until he talks about cutting someone
for trying to steal her virginity away.

Now his face is getting a wee bit
darker.  Shit, hope he doesn’t ever find out about Sadey’s
near successful attempt to lure Ace into helping her remove her
little cherry, as she refers.

“
Now. Explain. Again.
About. You. and Shame. and slow the fuck down so I can understand
you, all these womanly feelings around me are clogging my damn
brain, you women and you’re constant chatter, Jesus.”
 

Shit I forgot about the rest of my
rant and now Hem is livid.

I let out a long sigh,
“No, I shouldn’t have said anything, Hem.  Shame and I are
adults, consenting adults. Shame has sex with a lot of women at the
club.  I should have assumed when he and I were done... ya
know...”  

My brother flinches; I can see he’s
trying like hell all to avoid thinking about his kid sister in that
position with his best friend.  

“
I just shouldn’t have
been surprised.  I’m okay, I left.  I’m good.”  I
stand staring at the floor, twisting my fingers in front of me.
 I hope I have calmed Hurricane Hem.  

Guess I did, he walks right up to me
and grabs me in a large bear hug.

“
Sissy, I love you.
 I’m sorry for what fucktwat did.  If you’re okay then
I’m okay but mark this and mark it good, I will be having a chat
with my VP.  It is one thing to bed my sister without
discussing it with me as the President and you being my family, but
to treat you like this after, to walk away and find open and free
pussy while you are still at the Club?  No. That does not
fucking happen.  Jesus, what was he thinking?  Now, what
the hell are you talking about glue, honey? “

Oh hell I’m exhausted.  I explain
to Hem about what and how he’s my glue.  He did not get it
until I went into detail about all I had thought I lost this week
and how my world was caving.  Greyson, Mom, Sadey, Shame, and
him.  He got it and wrapped me in his arms while I cried and
let out some sadness for everything.  God, he’s such a good
brother.  Sadey is such a good friend.  I should count my
blessings more often.

So now we are all sitting down, now
opening our third bottle of wine in 30 minutes time, someone knocks
on the door.  We are all look at each other and then the
clock.  Shit, it is after midnight.  Nothing good comes
knocking past midnight.

“
Mace,
open the fucking door.  I swear to Christ woman, you have
about 30 seconds to get decent and Open. The. Fucking. Door.”
 
Even Shame, after being the asshole that he was, has the
sexiest rasp in his voice when he’s not getting something that he
wants.  

“
Well okay guys, good
night.”  I say to Sadey and Hem while making a helluva hasty
exit from the madman behind door number one.  I start walking
towards the hall, okay I’m running towards the hall.
 

“
Fuck that sister, you
pulled me out of a naked bed with a naked girl about an hour ago
and fuck if I didn’t tolerate that bullshit for you.
 Turnabout fair play, kid.  Sit the hell down and let’s
let Shame in, shall we?  Let’s get the party started and get
some shit straight, eh?”  

Dammit.

Hem grabs the handle and whips the
door open while Shame is in mid-sentence with another threat about
the number of seconds I have left to open the door.  Shame’s
face pales.  His tan complexion has faded on impact, by impact
I mean Hems fist to Shames nose.  

Shit!

Rushing over to get to Hem and grab
his arm that is again in midair ready to strike, I harshly whisper
to his face. “Dammit Hem, can we just for once not use our fists
but maybe our words to resolve an issue.  Jesus Christ, we do
not live in the wild.  Step back.”

I look to Shame who is holding his
nose, his eyes are watering from the impact.  Hem rolls his
eyes at me as he turns and walks to Sadey, grabbing her off the
couch and throwing her over his shoulder.  Such a
caveman!

Hem turns his front and Sadey’s ass to
look at Shame and I.  Shame still on ground outside and I’m
standing at the door.

“
Work your shit out.
 I’m going to bed, a naked bed with a naked girl and this time
no one comes calling!” he says as he slaps Sadey with an audible
pop on the ass.  Now she is giggling like a schoolgirl.
 My heart swells, so happy for them.

“
I do not want to hear you
guys!”  Oh please in Heaven, if there was ever a question on
the thickness of my walls; please let me not hear them.

“
I will keep her gagged
then, she’s a screamer.”  Oh my god, Hem.  You did not
just tell me that.

Pulled out of my reverie of Hem and
Sadey, I hear Shame let out a fierce and angry snort.  He
sounds like a bull and looking at him now, I think I’m the red
flag!  Shit shit shit.  He starts to stand and he has
regained some composure.

“
Why.
The. Fuck. Did. You. Leave. The. Club?  Without me no less,
Mace?  Why?  Are you seriously that unconvinced that I
want you?  I want us.  God dammit woman.  I show you
how I feel.  
I tell you
how
I feel, which wasn’t easy for me either
by the fucking way.  Bad ass bikers don’t share feelings like
those dammit.  You know this.  Yet you scram the moment
shit got real.  The very second you felt just a bit unspoiled.
 This is me here, not Greyson or any other nameless fuck,
you’ve been with, and this is me here, fighting with you and for
you.  What the fuck?”

He’s calmed a tad but then, “ANSWER
ME!” never mind.  He’s still fuming.

“
Well.”  I’m angry
but I’m unsure how much to let go of.  What he said has pissed
me off, seriously.  Screw it, my glue is back and he’s in the
other room.  Shame wouldn’t dare touch me anyway, he loves me
too much.  So I continue.

“
You miserable ass.
 I asked you to define what we were, just as you ‘need to hear
the words’ well dammit Shame, I NEEDED TO HEAR THE WORDS.  I
have loved you for so long that it wasn’t enough that this just
felt real, I am too insecure and I felt I had to ask and get the
answer before assuming anything.  Then you left me in that
damn shower alone to get a ‘drink’.  That drink being, a Club
whore.  I’m used to this life Shame…”  I’m interrupted
abruptly.

“
What did you just say?”
 He blinks, he really is confused but I’m still
mad.

“
No no no, I get to talk,
this is my time.  So you take a Club whore after you have at
me upstairs in your room.  I apparently do not satisfy your
hunger.  So, after hearing this news I left.  I got my
shit and bolted home, yes.  No good woman would blame me for
it.  And finally, going back to what you said.  Badass
biker?  You seriously just called yourself that?”  I’m
almost smirking. I can’t help it.  He called himself a badass
biker.  Do people do that?

“
I love your face, baby”.
 He walks towards me but all I can think about is that Club
skank he’s probably wearing.  Which one, where, with her mouth
or cunt?  God, I am a glutton for punishment.

I spit out at him now. “Don’t touch
me, you are a male whore.  I don’t want to share you, Shame.
 I have been around the life but the thought of sharing the
one thing, the one part of me that I thought would once be all
mine, I just can’t.  I love you Shame, never made a secret of
this at all, anytime in my life, but I can’t share you.  A
heart can’t beat to half a beat.  You’re part of my heart now
and I have to have yours, all or none.”  

I’m starting to let tears I was
holding at bay go.  I didn’t even realize I was holding them
back.  

“
Baby, I don’t know what
you heard or from where, but I was outside on the back deck with
Gunner the entire time.  I was so pissed at you, so mad that
you would offer me those options and without the option of owning
you, loving you, and making you happy.  I was angry and needed
to let off some steam.  Gunner and I downed some beers and
shot some whiskey then he sent my ass back up to you.  If you
don’t believe me, then you can ask him.  He’s with Winnie
right now, probably not wanting to be disturbed but fuck if I won’t
make him drag his prospect ass over here and confirm this shit for
you.”

“
Friggin Ace bastard” I
hate that prick.  

Shame looks at me, grins just a bit
and grabs me to him while kissing the crown of my head.  My
long hair becomes wrapped around his wrist from the back and he
gives it a rough yank and takes my mouth.  

Pulling away after kissing me
senseless, “Are we good now?  Are we okay?  Do we have to
define us and this relationship this second?  Cause I have
other ideas for us this morning baby.”  He thinks he’s so
clever.  Not this time, buddy.  

“
Tell me what you want; I
want to hear you say it.”  I’m playing his game, stealing his
lines.

He obviously hasn’t caught on so I
know I have some time to play, but not too long because I’m
giggling on the inside.  

I’m going to keep going, “I’m going to
fuck you hard baby, you want that?”  And he’s just about to
fall right into my trap!  

His eyes close, “Fuck me Mace, my dick
fucking hurts now.  What the hell are you doing to me?”
 His eyes are still closed tightly so I have to think
fast.

“
Open your eyes and look
at me!  I want you to see what you do to me.”  He raises
his eyes, looking directly into mine.  I see a flicker of
recognition on his face.  

I push him towards the
couch, I don’t care where we are, and I want Shame inside me.
 I unbutton his jeans and take his hard cock into my hand
rubbing the sensitive flesh underneath the head and swirling my
fingers around it, catching the early juices that are coming out of
his slit, so gorgeous.

“
Feel me taking you,
holding you, and loving you, baby? “ I say as I push him down to
the couch and sit astride him.  

All I am wearing is my knee length
pajama shirt.  I’m wearing nothing but a thong underneath.
 I feel his cock twitch under me.  God I want it, but I
need to wait.  I’m baiting my man, teaching him a lesson
perhaps.  I’m still smiling inside, because this really is
fun!  

So I start in again on him, “Fuck
baby, you’re killing me.  I’m gonna fuck you now, you want
that?  I want to hear you say it.  I’m going to fuck you
hard and fast now, Shame.”

Holy.Fucking.Shit. He’s onto
me.

“
Oh Mace Mace Mace.” He
shakes his head back and forth as an unnamed threat, I’m going to
spank your little ass red if you don't get to riding my fucking
cock woman and right now.  Wouldn’t be a proud moment but I’m
about to fucking cum all over your hand if you don’t shut your
fucking dirty mouth and take me, right now!”

He lifts my hips, tears the thong from
my body in one swoop, grabs the hem of my nightshirt and takes it
over my head, and then his assault on me really starts.  He
lifts my body and then slams me back onto his.  God he feels
so good, filling me and stretching me.  I see his pulse on the
side of his neck, he’s about to lose control already.

I continue our reverse role play from
our night together earlier.  “Look at me, beautiful. Thank you
for this, thank you for trusting me enough to give me this.” I move
his hand that is gripping my hip and press it against his heart,
repeating his words to him but with entire different meaning.
 Shame showed me his love tonight for the first time while
fucking me, I wanted to show him how I love him with my heart.
 

We have now slowed from the ravenous
fuck back to a slow rock, feeling each other, loving each other.
 I honestly don’t know what feels better, the hard fuck and
quick emotions or the slow strain of building up and then finally
letting go.  

“
I love you, Shame.
 I love you.”  I can feel him tense and as he stills in
me while he releases.  Those words do this to him, God what a
beautiful power that gives me.  

*****

The next morning I awake to an empty
bed.  After Shame and I made up, several times until dawn, we
all but passed out in my room.  Sadey and Hem had remained
quiet, if they heard us they did not acknowledge it.