Holding On (16 page)

“
Hem?  You alright?”
 I don’t like hearing Hem talk to people like that but I know
it goes with his position, but usually he tries to keep it somewhat
hidden from the rest of us.  He’s really pissed right now
though.

“
Sis, I’m fine.  Just
that no one seems to have seen Switch in quite some time and I hate
when things get too quiet like this.  Drives me fucking nuts
waiting for the other shoe to drop, that’s all.  Ain’t
anything for you to worry about.”  He’s faking his calm.
 I’m going to give him that.

“
Have
you seen Shame? I need to find him.  Sadey and I are going
shopping today and its girl’s day, so don’t be blowing up her phone
with promises of sexual favors either.  I know how you men
work that angle, you feel neglected and then you start to act all
weepy and sad.  So, if you can tell me where you may have seen
Shame, I want to suck on his face before I go.”  Hems face
twitches as he rolls his eyes, and walks away as if I haven’t just
asked him
twice
for help.  Big baby.  

“
Oh, need to find him with
who and doing what?”  Ace chimes in from behind me.  The
smug little bastard.

Whipping my head around to
find the asshole I see him come strutting in with Cherry, Club
whore number #2.  She doesn’t talk much so I tend to tolerate
her a bit better than my pal Kegs, speaking of Kegs, I haven’t seen
her today either, ahhh to enjoy the small favors from
above.

“
Shut up
you ass, you played me yesterday and it didn’t work.  Shame
was never in or with anyone and you damn well know it don’t you,
Prospect?”  He still isn’t
exactly
slated to be patched in;
honestly I don’t think he even wants to be.  Much easier being
a prick to all while doing everyone's dirty work.  

“
Okay, I had that coming.
 I’m sorry but I was in a mood and I did exactly what you said
I did, truce?”  

Well this is a change.
 I’m cautious and not optimistic that this will last past an
afternoon but alright for Hem and Shame, I will play
nice.

“
Truce,
now have you really seen him today or not?”
“Yes, he’s in his
room with Kegs right now, Mace.  Cherry and I just passed them
on the way down.”   Cherry’s smile drops and she looks to Ace
as if he’s got snakes coming out of his head.

He isn’t smiling though
and he isn’t enjoying this, which means he isn’t lying.

“
Don’t look like that, I’m
not even saying it to rile you up, just want you to have some
warning is all.  Kegs appeared to be lacking of clothes, more
than usual. He didn’t look all too eager about it, so she could
just be acting like Kegs.”  

Cherry gives me a
sympathetic look as she slaps Ace upside his head, no longer able
to hold in her ire for the situation.

“
Thanks.” I mutter as I
begin walking to the stairs to find his room again.  De ja
damn vu!

Up the stairs I see his
door open and I hear something similar to whining, but maybe it’s
moaning.  Goddamn it, tell me this is not happening
a-friggin-gain!  He said he would wait and technically we
aren’t together but surely he didn’t invite Kegs up here for some
quick head after what he and I shared last night.  I make it
to the door and tap softly; I don’t want to see more than needed if
this is really going the way I’m afraid it is.

“
Come in.”  Kegs
actually coos those words.

Pushing the door open I
see Kegs sitting on the floor in nothing but her bra and thong.
 Who sits on dirty Club carpet…in a thong? God the woman has
zero dignity.  

“
Hi Shame.  Hi
Skank.”  Trying to appear unaffected and failing quickly.
 

Shame looks directly at me, he’s
sitting on his bed putting on his boots and silent pleas come from
his eyes for me to remain calm.

“
Hi there Sweetheart, Kegs
and I were just discussing the fact that I am off the Club whore
meat market.  I’m a taken man now.  C’mere.” His smile
for me is warm and knowing and I love it!  Pleased, I walk to
him and sit on his lap, his hands go to my waist and he holds me so
I’m facing Kegs, still sitting on the damn floor.

“
Well this sucks!  He
was the best of them ya know that don’t you, Mace?”  Holy
Friggin Hell, this bitch is talking to me?  Oh lord.
 

“
Ummm sure.  I guess
I haven’t really tried the others Kegs, so I don’t have a
comparison like you do but I’m willing to just believe you,
fair?”

Shames body shakes under me and he has
buried his face in my back trying to control the laugh.  What
the heck, now I’m being nice to her?  I feel sorry for her
because she can no longer have sex with my man?  Has this
whole day been sent from the twilight zone?  Damn.

She finally gets a hint
and gets up, grabs her shirt and daisy dukes off the floor from
where she was apparently attempting her strip show to entice my man
and heads towards the door not even dressing before heading out
into a hallway full of horny bikers, not before turning back
though.

“
I knew when Shame fell
for a girl, he would fall hard.  Mace, you don't like me, I
already know this but I want tell you something anyway.  When
Shame told me you all were together finally, I was glad for it.
 You can believe that or not, but this gives me hope.  It
tells me that happy endings really do happen. Take care you two.”
 Then she was off.  

Today has been productive.
I’ve made some peace with both Ace and Kegs, I think.  Greyson
and I are over and Shame and I are together.  What an odd
feeling that contentment can be.

“
Well, I’m unsure what
just happened here, but I’m moving on. Jeez. I’m hard press to
believe the little witch doesn’t want to kill me in my sleep so she
can have you back, tell me though, how many others should I fear?
She said you were the ‘best of them’ so I’m wondering how many you
were the ‘best’ for.” I’m still not looking at him, his hands are
tightening around my waist and I know he wants me to turn around to
face him but I’m not done addressing this bizarre
morning.

“
Oh and thanks for the
support you asshole, I mean it was just so much easier knowing you
were about to bust up in stitches at her talking to me like I was
one of her besties!”  

Finally I turn in his lap,
now sitting with him between my legs and my thighs resting on the
bed.  I need him to hear me without any distractions, because
this is going to be an important moment for us.  I know how
Shame is and trusting someone doesn’t come naturally for him, he
forces himself to work at it.

“
I talked to Grey today,
it is done.  We are over.”
“Good to know.” is all he says as he looks into my eyes.  He
has his mask on, so I have to work at this to get him to drop it
and remember it’s me here with him.

“
Shame, I love you. I
don’t second guess letting him go.  You are my forever, he was
just a stand in or a filler.  Saying goodbye to him should
have hurt but it didn’t.  I thought more about getting back
here to you, to wrap my arms around you and love you without any
shadows looming over me.  He’s gone.”  I just get
silence, he’s still looking at me but saying nothing.

“
Say something?” I’m
really trying to be patient.

“
I love your face, baby.”
 His face is serious, like he’s studying me in
thought.

Then he grabs me and pulls
my body against him and hugs me so tight, his face in my neck as
I’m combing my fingers through his hair.  I will sit like this
for as long as Shame needs me to, he’s absorbing the moment.
 I’ve had time to think and process this already, he
hasn’t.

“
Thank you.” he
murmurs.

“
For what?”

“
For being everything that
you are.  For being all that is good in this world for me.
 For loving me when I know I don’t deserve it.  For
forgiving me for being an ass to you when I was too stupid to
figure out what it was that my heart was trying to tell me about
us.  I’m going to mess this up, it will happen I promise, but
thank you for giving me a chance to love your face the way I need
to love your face.  Most of all, thank you for loving me back,
fiercely.”  

His face is still in my
neck because he doesn’t want me to see him in such a vulnerable
state. I will let him hide right now and just hold him for a few
more minutes.

Soon I pull him away and stare into
those silver eyes.  “You don’t have to thank me, Shame.
 Just let me in and trust me with your heart, yes?  If
you can do that, then I have everything I ever truly
wanted.”

He kisses me not long
enough before his cell phone rings.  He grunts as he lifts me
to the floor to retrieve it.

“
Shit its Hem, fucker
knows I’m just upstairs but the bastard has been banging it out so
damn much with your girl Sadey he’s actually starting to become
lazier these days.”  I smile as he cuts off the call and
throws the phone on the bed.  He doesn’t even answer it, bet
him is appreciating that right now.

“
I’m going now to pick up
Sadey for some shopping this afternoon.  I will see you later
though, okay?”  

He gives me a swift hard slap on the
ass in the same fashion Hem always gives Sadey, I roll my eyes at
him and he smirks.

“
Pink, baby.”  He
says.

“
What?”  I’m thrown
by this odd comment.

“
I like to use my hand to
make your ass pink.  Another reason it’s my favorite color.”
 Oh my, he makes me wish we had more time for him to show me
that right now.

“
You’re
such a pervert.”  
And I’m
yours to perverse with,
I think as I wink
at him.

“
See you later,
Sweetheart.  Get me something to enjoy on you later.” he says
and this time he gets to watch me walk out, yay for me.

*****

“
So Miss
Sated Sadey, how are you fee
l
ing today?”  Picking up my
friend and headed to our girls day out, I start off on her right as
she gets into the car, without giving her a chance to even say
hello.  I’m going to enjoy a free day of taunting
her.

“
Mace, I’m sore.
 Your brother is certainly the wild man I’ve always heard
about.  The rumors are true.  The man is insatiable.
Between his tongue and his hands, I’m not sure which I enjoy more.
Wait, it is definitely his dick. God, they are all good, I just
don’t know!  Should I keep going or are you grossed out enough
yet?”  She’s smiling and her face looks like it is about to
split.

“
You can stop now.  I
get it. Oh my god, I knew not to ask.  I just haven’t had a
chance to talk to you since well, interrupting you and Hem getting
intimately acquainted at the house after our fight at the club in
front of Ace.  So, spill it.  How did you two end up in
that… position, so to speak? I don’t need the graphics but I
haven’t gotten any details because the man hasn’t let you far
enough away from him to share with your best friend!”

It is true, Hem has been
hoarding her and I have yet to be given the juicy details, sans the
amazing sex she says she is having with my brother.  I’ve
missed her and me hanging out and chatting.

“
I will, but first you
need to feed me some lunch, all the sex the last two days has given
me an overwhelming appetite.”

She’s right, I’ve been adding a few
more calories to my day as well since Shame is apparently as sex
hungry as his club brother, and I shudder to think what those two
were like during their teenage years.  

“
Okay but then I want to
hear how you got Hem to take you home and remove your fruit!
 You must have been laying down some severe seduction
maneuvers, maybe you can teach me something.”

I can’t refer to her
virtue as being a popped cherry as freely as she does.  Hem
means too much to her to it be just considered that.

“
What’s on agenda today,
Mace?  I’m feeling a bit unruly and had an idea.”  She’s
turning a little red so I’m curious on what her big plan for our
day together has in store.  Oh how I’ve missed her!

We are eating at our
favorite Mexican place, she insists on going here every single time
we go out. We are enjoying the afternoon margaritas while gabbing
about what we have been up too; finally I want to get to the
details of how she and Hem ended up together back at the house the
other night.

“
Okay, I’ve kept you
waiting long enough.  It is time for me to spill, but
afterwards I want to hear about how you and Shame got together on
that same night!”

I do owe her the same
explanations, and I have no problem sharing details with my best
friend, as long as she can keep her story as PG as she can for me,
being that it is about my brother.

“
Sounds good hit me with
it, sister!”  I’m finishing up my first drink and licking the
salt from the rim, giggling like a little teenager in anticipation
of how my brother was wooed into finally giving it up to Sadey.
 Although he is my brother and I hate to think about it, I
just can’t see Hem allowing some girl to woo him. He doesn’t have
to try to get a woman on him, they flock to him and Sadey is the
only person I know that has had to work to get him.